Keeping It Real

An eclectic array of invitation samples lay scattered on the floor around Judy Hoffs and her fiancé, Tom Hanson. She'd made the mistake of mentioning "wedding" to her mother and all hell had broken loose. Messages from wedding planners filled her answering machine tape. Catering brochures overflowed her mailbox. Her parents were at war over the location of the wedding and who'd receive an invitation. All the chaos made the idea of eloping so very attractive.

"It seems like a lot," Tom said as he placed his hand on her knee and squeezed, "but it can't be as bad as it seems."

She loved him deeply and his attempts to lighten the load made her love him even more.

"Weddings are supposed to be special," she said in a choked voice.

"Ours will be." He hugged her to his chest. "We don't have to listen to our parents. We can do whatever we want."

"Is your mom still trying to get you to wear your dad's tux?"

"She had it dry cleaned and delivered to my apartment."

Judy sighed, "Oh boy."

"She hates that my dad isn't here. I hate it, too, but wearing his thirty year old suit won't bring him back."

"But you can't tell her that."

Tom shrugged. "I may have to. She may not give me a choice. What are you telling your parents?"

"I wish I knew."

"You have to tell them something."

"I'd rather tell them after the fact." She pulled her hair free of the scrunchy that had been holding it in a ponytail. "This is supposed to be our day! The start of the rest of our lives! I feel like our parents, mostly mine, are trying to hold it hostage. I don't want to hurt them, but this isn't working for me."

"Maybe we need a hostage negotiator," he said with a laugh. The wry twist of his mouth showed how he was trying hard to find the humor in the situation.

"I can't imagine who that'd be. We can't ask Fuller. He's taken enough heat. Brass was determined to take one of us from Jump Street when we became engaged. If Fuller hadn't stepped in..."

"I know, I know," Tom said. "I was joking. We can't let someone else fight our battles in this."

"This is so not awesome," Judy said, mimicking the lead suspect in a ring of mall shoplifting.

"Totally."

"So, check this out," Doug Penhall was saying as he followed Tom down into the basement. They were doing surveillance on the house across the street.

Tom grabbed a pair of binoculars and zeroed in on their object of scrutiny. As he eased onto his stool, he said, "I've checked out enough stuff lately. Let's focus on the bozos across the street. Judy overhead some kids talking about a warehouse of electronics that wasn't really a warehouse but a house. Let's focus on that."

"You've been a grump all evening. What gives? You know, Judy was in a crappy mood, too. You guys are okay, right?"

"We're perfect," he said with a big grin. "Absolutely perfect."

"So...as I was saying, Harry and I have our eye on the Boom Boom Room for your bachelor party. Blowfish knows the owner's cousin and says he can get it for us at half price."

"She'd kill me. No, thanks."

"Why does she have to know?"

Tom lowered the binoculars and fixed Doug with an evil glare. "She's going to be my wife."

"She isn't your wife now!"

"You don't understand," he said, directing his attention back to their suspects.

"You don't understand!" Doug snatched the binoculars from Tom and set them down on the nearby table. "Your life as you know it will end after you say 'I do.' That'll be it. No more impromptu road trips, night out with the guys or unexpected bowling adventures! That's it. You'll be answering to Judy 24/7. You can kiss your freedom goodbye."

Tom stiffened. "It won't be like that."

"Are you sure? You sound kinda doubtful to me." Doug handed the binoculars back to Tom. "Harry and me just want you to have a little fun before it's all over. That's all."

"A bachelor party, huh?" Tom asked, not as cold to the idea as he was a moment ago.

"Yeah. You and the guys hanging out."

"No strippers!"

Doug had the decency to look shocked. "Come on, Tom. What kind of guy do you think I am?"

"I know what kind of guy you are," Tom mumbled. "I'm not saying yes."

"But you're not saying no." Doug smiled. "Just think about it. Mull it over. In the meantime, Harry and I will do what we can do. Blowfish, too."

Tom groaned inside.