ANIMANIACS AT THE RIVER STYX
The road to Hell is wide and well maintained; it invites the traveller to take it. It has sixty-six roadside inns in, each of which one must stay for a hundred years. Good-looking and friendly bartenders serve drinks which taste better and better the closer one is to Hell. If the traveller resists the temptation to drink to excess, and reaches the last inn without being drunk, he is free to go back; Hell has no more hold on him. But in the case of those arriving drunk, they are given a horrible mixture of snake and toad's blood. From then on they belong to the devil, and are done for.
The dead never come back from Hell but there are living souls who have been there and back.
One night Wakko, Yakko, and Dot were returning home from a fair in Burbank, California. The road to Warner Brothers Studios was long, and they whistled and sang as they walked to raise their spirits.
"You sing marvellously," said an unexpected voice from behind them. They turned around and saw Slappy Squirrel sat on horseback.
"Faboo," said Wakko, aimlessly.
Dot made an assertion of her cuteness.
Yakko just stood there, deadpan.
"Where are you going?" Asked Slappy.
"That way," said the Animaniacs unanimously, all pointing in different directions.
"I'm going that way also. We can travel together."
So they went on, side by side.
"Your horse doesn't make much noise," said Yakko.
"It's still young and its feet are tender," replied Slappy.
The journey went on amicably. They talked at length about Brendan Fraser. Slappy seemed to know just about everyone there is to know in Hollywood and its surroundings from the richest to the poorest. He told very strange tales about each of them: "Such-a-one is a drunkard.. another, a miser.. another beats his wife.. this one loves diapers," and so-forth. And with each name he mentioned, he told a tale to prove his words. He was an amusing companion and the Animaniacs were delighted to have bumped into him. Whilst chatting, they reached the entrance to an avenue on the left side of the road.
"I need to stop here," said Slappy. I've some business at the bar over there behind those trees. Would you be so kind as to hold my horses' reigns? I'll be back soon."
"Willingly, but you'll be wasting your time. The bars are all closed," said Yakko.
"They're expecting me," said Slappy. "Make sure the horse doesn't get away."
"Don't worry. I've held friskier ones than this. Goo-o-odnight everybody!" Said Yakko, motioning suggestively.
[ALL ANIMANIACS] "Hello-o-o, nurse!"
Slappy Squirrel jumped down, took the saddlebag, and off he went. The Animaniacs wrapped the reins round their wrists and, as an additional precaution, took a firm grip on the horse's mane.
"Hey, lay off. You're hurting me," sighed the horse. "Please don't pull on my mane."
"What!" Said the Animaniacs. "Horses are starting to talk now!"
"I'm a horse today but I was a woman when I was alive. Look at my feet and you'll see."
They looked and saw the little feet, like a woman's.
"My God!" They exclaimed; "Then what sort of man is Slappy?"
"That's not a man; it's the devil."
"Oh!"
"He's stopped here to take the soul of a young girl who died at the bar. Right now he's stuffing her body into that saddlebag you saw him take with him, and soon he'll take her to hell. You can all expect a similar fate if you haven't cleared-off before he comes back."
The Animaniacs did not wait. They reached Warner Brothers Studios in record time and collapsed in a heap on the studio floor. They could not speak for three days. It was only on the fourth night that they were able to tell their tale.