Summary: Five times Afsaneh Paris didn't mean to fall into bed with Philippa Georgiou and one time she did.

Notes: It's not really canon, but I adopted the (limited) backstory from David Mack's book Desperate Hours that Philippa is divorced and Georgiou is her ex-husband's name.

i.

March 2223

Penang Park, Malaysia

"Is it working?" Afsaneh Farzan whispered.

"Mmhmm," Philippa Zhou Ling murmured, fiddling with the alignment on the telescope viewfinder. "Almost there."

Afsaneh smiled at the look of utter concentration on Philippa's face. "Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are when you are thinking?"

Philippa blushed and ignored her. "There. Now try it."

Afsaneh leaned in, shoulder brushing Philippa's and pressing her eye to the eyepiece. Then she saw it.

"Do you see it?" Philippa asked impatiently.

"Wow," Afsaneh whispered. Saturn hung before her; she could even see the shadow of the planet on the rings. She pulled back to let Philippa take a turn. "It's beautiful."

Philippa smiled and leaned in, hand resting on Afsaneh's leg. "Maybe it's silly. There's a thousand ways to get a more detailed picture. But there's just something romantic about the old fashioned way, don't you think?" She pulled back, but her hand didn't leave Afsaneh's thigh.

Afsaneh nodded, much too distracted by Philippa's touch to be able to string words together. "Pippa… "

"Yes?" Philippa licked her lips.

Afsaneh didn't answer, but she closed her eyes and leaned in.

Their first kiss was hesitant. It was soft and sweet and thrilling.

Their second kiss has hungrier, and Afsaneh caught Philippa's lip between her teeth and made her gasp. Afterwards, Philippa pressed her forehead against Afsaneh's cheek and tried to catch her breath. "Want to see Titan?" she asked.

Afsaneh smiled. "Sure."

Philippa readjusted the telescope, but it took longer this time because Afsaneh kept stroking the inside of her knee with her thumb.

After they looked at Titan, they moved on to the other moons. Afsaneh was looking at Rhea when she felt soft kisses on her neck. She shifted automatically, trying to give Philippa better access without moving away from the telescope. Then the telescope began to tip over and Philippa barely caught it in time.

Once Afsaneh was convinced the telescope was stable, she began to apologize profusely. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean- "

"It's okay," Philippa insisted. "But… maybe we should sit a little further away?"

Afsaneh smiled and nodded. She moved to the blanket they'd laid out on the beach before getting the telescope set up and sat down on one side to give Philippa room to sit down next to her. Then Philippa knelt right across her thighs and leaned into her and they toppled down onto the blanket together. Afsaneh groaned and rolled them both over, pressing her knee between Philippa's thighs and kissing her hungrily.

They were on their sides, Philippa's lips back on Afsaneh's neck when she felt the first drop. For a moment, she didn't think much of it. She'd gotten used to the weather in San Francisco, which was often wet, but more foggy and misty than actually rainy. Then she felt another, and then another. Philippa pulled back to look at the sky, and they heard a crack of thunder. Then the rain really began.

Philippa packed up the telescope quickly, and they ran together from the beach to the house, telescope in its box between them, and blanket held over their heads in an ultimately futile attempt to block the rain. Philippa squealed as the water pelted her, and Afsaneh giggled. By the time they finally made it to the house, a couple of kilometers away and just outside of the park, both were sopping wet and out of breath.

Afsaneh pushed a wet strand of dark hair out of her eyes and looked around. "So, this is your parents' house?"

"Yes. But they are on Mars right now, visiting my aunt." Philippa set the telescope down and reached for her hand. "Come on, let's get you dry."

Philippa left Afsaneh alone in her bedroom while she went to find towels and Afsaneh began to undress slowly, the wet clothes sticking to her skin. She dropped her clothes one by one in a pile by the window but hesitated when she was down to her underwear. Philippa wasn't back yet and she just didn't feel quite comfortable being naked in her date's room.

"Here."

The soft voice made her jump, and she turned to see Philippa holding out a towel. She smiled and blushed. "Thanks."

The towel was soft and fluffy, and most importantly, dry, and Afsaneh draped it gratefully over her shoulders. Philippa smiled and rubbed the fabric over Afsaneh's arms to dry her. Then their eyes met and Afsaneh forgot to breathe.

Philippa reached up to push damp strands of hair behind Afsaneh's ear, and she leaned in a little, fingers trailing through her hair. Afsaneh closed the distance between them, and then they were kissing again, Afsaneh's hands clutching the towel, and Philippa's hands clutching Afsaneh.

Afsaneh fought against the impulse to drop the towel and push Philippa towards the bed. "We have class in the afternoon," she reminded Philippa. "On the other side of the planet."

But Philippa had an answer for everything. "There's a transport station nearby," she told her. "We can leave in a few hours. We'll have plenty of time." Then they were kissing again and Afsaneh gave in, dropping the towel to grasp at Philippa's clothes.

The two worked together to divest Philippa of her clothes as they stumbled across the room, and by the time they toppled together into bed, they were both down to their underwear. Afsaneh pressed Philippa down into the mattress. "You are a bad influence," she breathed.

Philippa just grinned. "You like it."

Then Afsaneh grinned and neither spoke again for quite some time.

ii.

September 2231

Starfleet Headquarters, San Francisco

Afsaneh wandered aimlessly through the grounds of Starfleet Headquarters. It was weeks before her ship would be ready to depart, and she suddenly had little to fill the hours.

Gaspard's words kept echoing through her head, but no matter how many times she replayed the conversation in her head, she wasn't any closer to knowing what to do. They'd barely been married four months, and now things seemed to be over as soon as they'd begun. She ran her hand over her front pocket, feeling the outline of her wedding ring through the fabric. Even though she'd taken it off, she hadn't been ready to part with it completely.

It was actually quite sunny and warm out for once, so she was thinking about returning to her quarters to retrieve a book and find a nice quiet spot to read when she heard a familiar voice calling her name.

"Afsaneh! Afsaneh Farzan!"

She turned towards the sound, to be greeted by a face she hadn't seen since the Academy. "Philippa! What are you doing here?" The last time she'd seen Philippa flashed through her mind. It had been the day after their graduation from the Academy and they'd been posted on different ships. But both were too career focused to sacrifice for the other. Ending their relationship had been the only reasonable option.

Philippa grinned. "My ship is getting refitted and the crew is being trained on the new systems. We start tomorrow. What about you?"

Afsaneh ignored the question, eyes falling on Philippa's collar. "Full lieutenant, I see?"

Her grin broadened. "Just promoted. You are looking at the new Chief Conn Officer of the USS Patal-tor."

"Congratulations, Philippa! That's wonderful."

"So," she prodded. "What about you, Lieutenant Commander Farzan?"

Afsaneh hesitated. "It's Lieutenant Commander Paris now, actually. I am… between postings. I've been offered a new position, but I'm not sure if I'll take it." It wasn't just a new position, it was a promotion, and a big one. She'd be a fool to turn it down.

But if she took it, she'd be admitting that her marriage was over.

"You'll take it," Philippa replied confidently. Then she looped an arm through Afsaneh's and began to lead her in a different direction. "Now, you must oblige my nostalgia. I haven't been to the Pacific Heights Cafe in years and I have to hear all about this new job."

"So, what's wrong with the job?"

They were seated together at a small table by the window, a cup of oolong tea in front of Philippa and a Vulcan mocha in front of Afsaneh. And after Philippa had regaled her with tales of her adventures on the Patal-tor, she'd inevitably come around to the question Afsaneh had been avoiding. Afsaneh sighed. "Nothing. It's perfect. They offered me the first officer position on the Nova."

Philippa's face lit up. "That is fantastic! So… what's wrong with it?"

"Nothing!" Afsaneh shook her head and stared down at her mocha. "Nothing is wrong with it."

Philippa tilted her head at her friend quizzically. "Then what is the problem?"

Afsaneh began to fidget, fingers rubbing together where her wedding ring used to be. "It's in space."

Philippa laughed out loud at the absurdity of the statement, but she quieted herself quickly. "That is usually how things work in Starfleet," she noted.

"I know," Afsaneh murmured. "That's the problem." She tried to ignore the feeling of Philippa's inquisitive eyes boring into her as she continued. "I got married, recently. You- you'd like him. He always thought I took everything too seriously."

Philippa smiled encouragingly. "Sounds like we have something in common."

Afsaneh smiled and nodded. "Most of our relationship has been long distance. He was on Earth, I was in space. And then we got married, so he came with me on my next mission. Everything should have been perfect." She paused and Philippa waited quietly for her to continue. "Do you… do you remember the first time you went into space?"

If Philippa was confused by the change in topic, she didn't show it. A smile tugged at her lips. "I could never forget." She took a sip of her coffee and Afanseh nodded at her so she continued. "I was twelve and my family took a shuttle to visit family on Mars. Seeing Earth from above for the first time… Nothing can prepare you for it."

Afsaneh gave her a sad smile. "I was so excited to take Gaspard into space for the first time. I was absolutely certain that he would love it the way I did." She shook her head. "But he hated it. He hated how the windows were always filled with black, complained about how the recycled air tasted different, how there was no sun to tell him when the days began and ended. He began to feel claustrophobic all the time." She took a sip of her mocha and winced when she realized it had gotten cold. "The mission ended a week ago. As soon as we returned to San Francisco, he told me… " She swallowed uncomfortably. "He told me he never wanted to go back into space."

"I'm sorry," Philippa whispered.

"It's okay." She tried to smile at Philippa, but she could tell the other woman wasn't buying it. "We separated. We are taking some time to 'reevaluate things.' So I haven't officially accepted the new position yet. But… I don't want to leave Starfleet." She sighed. "I think at this point it's more just giving us time to accept the inevitable. To acknowledge that we made a mistake. That we want different things in life."

Philippa was silent, but she reached out across the table to take Afsaneh's hand in hers and she squeezed it gently.

Afsaneh squeezed back. "Thanks. It's… it's really nice to see you again, Pippa."

"It is," she agreed.

After they finished their coffee, Philippa had told her in no uncertain terms that Afsaneh was not allowed to be alone. There would be no wallowing in loneliness while she had any say in the matter. So instead of retrieving her book, they'd retrieved jackets instead, and gone on a long walk along the Presidio Promenade. They were walking past the visitor's center when she reached for Philippa's hand.

They were overlooking Crissy Field when Philippa kissed her.

And when they finally got back to Starfleet's temporary officer housing, Afsaneh kissed Philippa outside of her door, but not for long, because Philippa quickly pulled her inside and Afsaneh didn't leave till the next morning.

iii.

October 2231

Starfleet Headquarters, San Francisco

Afsaneh spoke with Gaspard that afternoon for the first time in weeks and nothing about the conversation had gone as expected. She'd expected it to be painful and awkward, the inevitable repeat of their last conversation.

Gaspard would tell her he loved her but couldn't stand living in space.

She would tell him she loved him too, but her life was in space.

He would look at her sadly and after insisting he'd given it a lot of thought, tell her there was just no way he could return to space.

She would tear up and tell him regretfully that she wasn't prepared to give up her career to stay on Earth with him.

He would finally ask "so this is it?"

And she would nod and end the transmission so she didn't have to see him cry.

But that isn't how it happened. And the pain hadn't come until after.

Afsaneh had considered calling Philippa, but ultimately decided against it. And now she was outside of the other woman's door, finger hovering over the chime.

It was time.

Afsaneh pressed the chime and when Philippa opened the door, she smiled widely at Afsaneh. Her hair was pulled back into an elegant twist, but her dress hung at odd angles, falling forward and a little down. "Sorry, I'm not quite ready yet." She gestured at her back, where the dress was still unzipped. "I couldn't choose what to wear."

Then Philippa was turning back into the small quarters and moved towards her closet before Afsaneh could respond.

"What do you think?" She held up another dress. "Which one?"

Any words Afsaneh had been trying to form died in her throat. "I… no, that one. I like the one you have on."

Philippa smiled. "Great. Can you help?" She turned away, presenting the zipper of the dress, and her bare back, to Afsaneh.

Her throat went dry. "No." She walked up behind Philippa, who turned her head in surprise. Afsaneh licked her lips. "I don't want to go to dinner anymore," she whispered, her voice low and rasping. Philippa frowned, but Afsaneh ignored it and moved closer, thumbs hooking under the straps of Philippa's dress and pulling it down far enough to make her intent clear. Philippa grinned shyly and Afsaneh let the dress fall, pooling around Philippa's feet. Then her hands were on her, one around her waist and the other palming her breast, only one layer of sheer fabric between her and Phillipa's flesh. She pressed against her back, holding Philippa close and kissing her neck.

Philippa leaned back into her with a pleased sigh. "And here I thought you couldn't be spontaneous."

Afsaneh sat up slowly, leaning back against the pillows propped against the headboard. She felt warm and relaxed and a little tingly and she let her eyes fall blissfully shut. The body of her lover pressed against her, naked skin on skin, still sticky with a sheen of perspiration, and she raised her arm out of the way to let the other woman get closer.

Philippa tucked her shoulder under Afsaneh's arm and rested her head against her breastbone. They laid together for some time, breathing slowing, heart rates returning to normal. It was easy to ignore the reality staring her down when they were still basking in the dizzy afterglow of their lovemaking. But eventually the warm fuzzy high of endorphins began to fade and the guilt began to crush in on her chest. "Pippa," she whispered, "we need to talk."

Philippa didn't move, waiting quietly for her to continue. Afsaneh's chest tightened and she had to force herself to keep going. "I spoke with Gaspard today."

Philippa sighed. "I thought so. You haven't seemed quite yourself tonight."

The guilt churned in her stomach. "I'm so sorry, I should have told you earlier." She sat up, forcing Philippa up as well, and took the other woman's face in her hands. "I have treasured my time with you," she whispered.

Philippa held her gaze. "But."

Afsaneh nodded. "But." She felt herself deflate. "But… Gaspard said he'd do whatever it took to make things work. He… he said he'd come back to space with me."

"And do you think that's going to work?" Philippa's voice sounded cold for the first time and Afsaneh let her hands fall.

"I don't know," she whispered. "But I have to try."

iv.

December 2243

Starbase 18

Things were quiet on the station. Afsaneh Paris took her usual morning tour of the facilities with confident, unhurried steps, nodding at her staff as she passed their stations. It felt pretty much like every day on the station she'd been commanding now for four years. She was speaking with Lieutenant Smirnov regarding the air filtration system when her communicator beeped.

She pulled it out and flipped it open. The voice of Ensign Garcia greeted her. "Captain Paris, the Venture is coming in for emergency repairs. They should be docking with the station in approximately thirty-six minutes."

"Do we know what sort of damage they sustained? Are there any casualties?"

There was a pause, and she could picture him pulling up information at his console. "Um… exact damage unclear. All we know right now is that they hit an ion storm. No casualties."

"Excellent. Thank you Ensign. Notify the Commander. I'll meet her in the primary flight deck."

Commander Hernandez handed her a PADD with the details they'd pulled together about the ship. She skimmed through it as they stood together, watching the ship slowly approach out the viewport. Apparently the loss of their shields during an ion storm had knocked out the warp drive and caused some minor structural damage. The command team on the ship was Captain Li, a man she knew only by reputation, and a Commander Georgiou, a name she didn't recognize.

She looked up. "Have accommodations been made for the crew?"

"Yes, sir. We've got them assigned in Section D-1. Lieutenant Smith has been in contact with Engineering and Operations to coordinate repairs."

"Excellent."

Once the ship had landed and been secured, the two women entered the flight deck and the crew of the Venture began to disembark. "Pippa," she murmured breathlessly in surprise as they came into view.

"Captain Paris." Philippa's response was nothing but professional, and Afsaneh tried to remember where she was. Philippa stuck her hand out. "Commander Georgiou," she offered by way of explanation.

Afsaneh shook her hand. Georgiou? "It's good to see you, Commander. I didn't recognize your name on the manifest. You got- Congratulations!" She gave Philippa a smile, hiding the pang of disappointment.

Now Philippa grinned a little. "Not exactly."

Afsaneh felt her stomach lurch. She forced her attention away from Philippa, and back to the task at hand. Hernandez was already deep in conversation with the captain of the Venture. "Commander, do you have the arrangements taken care of?"

She nodded. "Yes, sir. We should be able to repair their damage without a problem. The only difficulty is that we will have to wait for new warp coils to arrive before those can be replaced, but it should only take a couple of weeks to arrive."

"Thank you, Commander. If you have everything under control, I'd like to take Commander Georgiou on a tour of the station. It seems her crew will be joining us for some time."

Hernandez nodded. "Of course, Captain."

When they were alone in the turbolift, Philippa finally spoke. "So, how is Gaspard?"

"We divorced four years ago."

"Oh. I am sorry to hear that."

Afsaneh sighed. "Don't be. It was inevitable. I don't know what ever made me think it was a good idea. Or what took us so long to admit it wasn't."

They were both silent for a moment. Then she felt Philippa's eyes on her. "Maybe it was hope."

At this, Afsaneh gave Philippa a small smile. "Perhaps. What about you, Commander Georgiou?"

Philippa gave her a rueful smile. "Married. And divorced."

"I'm sorry." Her words were apologetic, but her heart was in her throat.

"No need. I enjoyed what we had while it lasted. But… it was not meant to be."

Afsaneh licked her lips. "So, is there anyone in your life now?" She knew she was being obvious, but she didn't care anymore.

The turbolift doors opened and they both strode out. Afsaneh tried to compose herself. This was hardly an appropriate public conversation for the captain. But Philippa turned towards her and whispered "No, no one," and her heart skipped a beat.

The tour was a joy. Being with Philippa again was wonderful and she truly enjoyed showing her around her station. But being in public, unable to have the conversation she so desperately wanted to have, felt like torture.

The tour concluded with the Venture's temporary accommodations, then Afsaneh paused in front of another door.

"What's this?"

"These are my quarters. If you ever need something during my off duty hours… " She trailed off, knowing just how far she was stretching the boundaries of their tour.

But Philippa just smiled. "Well, are you going to invite me in or not?"

Afsaneh pressed the keypad next to the door and it slid open. She gestured inside. "Please."

She followed Philippa in nervously. All she could think about was how much she wanted to kiss her and how good she still looked in that form-fitting uniform, but she tried to push it out of her mind. She couldn't assume that Philippa was still interested after all these years. Especially after how they'd left things.

Philippa looked around the main room, eyes falling on a holophoto of her kids on her shelf. "Oh my- are these- ?"

Afsaneh smiled and nodded. "It is hard to believe. Afrand is ten now, and Setareh is eight."

"Wow. They are beautiful."

Afsaneh shrugged. "They take after their father."

But Philippa shook her head vigorously. "No… those beautiful, dark, inquisitive eyes are all their mother's."

"Philippa… " The other woman looked up and their eyes met. Afsaneh licked her lips nervously. "Philippa, I- I'm sorry if I'm being presumptuous. But I can't afford to waste time anymore. If you- " They both froze and she could see Philippa's chest rising and falling.

Philippa moved first, and Afsaneh was right behind her. Their lips met, mouths crashing together, exploring hungrily.

Afsaneh's fingers were sliding up the back of Philippa's jacket when she pulled back momentarily. "How long do we have till they miss us?" Philippa murmured against her lips.

Afsaneh groaned. "Its nearly midday. We can say we stopped for lunch. We've got at least an hour."

Philippa grinned and kissed her. "That might be enough."

Afsaneh chuckled low in her throat and pulled Philippa in for a lingering kiss. "We can have all the time in the galaxy. If you want."

Philippa grabbed her hand, tangling their fingers together. "Let's start with today."

Afsaneh grinned and pulled her into the bedroom.

v.

February 2249

Eagle Twelve Space Station

"Afsaneh!"

Her eyes blinked open drowsily, taking in the low light of the room. She reached up automatically with her hand, trying to rub at her eyes, but sharp pain lanced up her arm almost immediately. It made her gasp and she had to set her hand back down.

"Philippa? Is that you?" She blinked again and the room slowly began to take shape again, the calm taupes, soft light, and the blinking lights of the monitors that made up the station's medical center reminding her where she was. A dark shape came into focus and she reached out with her good hand.

"I'm here." Philippa squeezed her hand and Afsaneh smiled. "I came as soon as I could. The Shenzhou can make it without me for a few days. How are you feeling?"

"I'll survive," Afsaneh replied dismissively.

Philippa harrumphed. "And I thought I was the one with the dangerous job. You were supposed to be safe and sound here on the station."

Afsaneh shrugged, trying not to move her right arm. "There are always risks."

Philippa reached up and stroked her face. "I hear there are a lot of people who have you to thank for saving their lives."

She leaned into Philippa's hand. "I was just doing my job," she murmured.

"Said like a true Starfleet officer," Philippa responded with an affectionate smile. "Where are the kids? Have they not made it here yet?"

Afsaneh shook her head. "They got here a day ago with Gaspard. They are just sleeping. It's the middle of the night, Philippa."

Philippa gave an abashed smile. "I'm sorry. Maybe I should let you rest. You still have a lot of healing to do."

Afsaneh shook her head. "I do need to rest. But I also need you here with me." She reached for Philippa's hand again and didn't let go. During the four years they'd been together, they'd spent more time apart than together. It was simply a fact of their lives, and one that had quickly taught them to take advantage of the time they had. "I've missed you."

Philippa lifted Afsaneh's hand to her lips, kissing it softly. "I've missed you, too." She was quiet for a moment, then she smiled and began to climb into the small bed next to Afsaneh.

"What are you doing?" Afsaneh hissed in surprise. "Anyone could come in here!"

Philippa ignored her, shaking her head and nestling against Afsaneh's side. "I'm so glad you are okay," she murmured into Afsaneh's neck.

Afsaneh sighed in capitulation, comforted by the warmth of Philippa's body next to hers. "I love you too, Pippa."

vi.

May 2256

Eagle Twelve Space Station

"Commodore Paris! We have an urgent message from Starfleet Command!"

Afsaneh sighed. The station had recently gotten an influx of new Academy graduates and while they were competent, they were very green. She flipped open her communicator, unconcerned. "This channel is only supposed to be used for emergencies. This better be good, Ensign."

"This is an emergency," he insisted.

There was something in his voice that sent chills down her spine. "What happened?"

"It's the Klingons, sir."

The station went to yellow alert. The shuttles were all grounded immediately, the planned transports to and from Earth canceled.

Klingons, only a few light years away. It was hard to believe. Afsaneh didn't know what could have suddenly caused them to move into Federation space after so long, but whatever the reason, it was an ominous sign. Even if conflict were avoided today, it was probably only a matter of time.

And her station was one of the closest to Klingon territory. If things went badly… well, they would be prepared for it if things came to that.

Afsaneh let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding as she strode into the main operations center. "Ensign, any updates from Starfleet Command?"

"Nothing yet, sir. The Shenzhou is facing off with the Klingon ship, but no contact has been established. No aggressive moves made by either side."

Her steps faltered. "The… the Shenzhou?"

"Yes, sir."

Ice filled her veins and she could feel his questioning gaze on her. She'd spoken to Philippa only a few days before, on a long distance transmission from Earth. The Shenzhou was being sent out to repair a relay. An easy mission. Nothing to worry about. They'd excitedly planned a visit for after the mission was over. The Shenzhou wouldn't be far from the station as they headed back towards Earth, so it would make an ideal place to pick up supplies.

They'd planned to spend the evening together. And the night. And the morning.

Afsaneh took a deep breath. The thought that something might happen to Philippa terrified her, but a part of her was also somewhat reassured. If anyone could calm things down with the Klingons, it was Philippa Georgiou.

Afsaneh just had to trust that she could take care of herself. That she could take care of all of them.

"Notify me immediately if anything happens. I'll be in my office."

"Yes, sir!"

The next twenty-four hours had been tense; the entire station waiting with bated breath for news. But Afsaneh was in her element; she kept her cool and she kept the station calm.

She tried not to think about Philippa until they got the news that the battle was over. But even then, information was sketchy. The Europa had been completely lost. The Shenzhou, Clark, and Yeager had taken heavy casualties. There were vague comments about a mysterious new Klingon stealth technology.

She was pacing in front of the large window in her office when the door chimed.

"Come."

Her first officer entered, slowly, hands clasped behind her back. She nodded at Afsaneh. "Commodore."

"Is there news?"

Commander Zhang nodded and passed Afsaneh a PADD. "I thought you should know. The… " she paused, clearly her throat. "Captain Georgiou didn't make it. Killed in the line of duty, while incapacitating the Klingon's flagship."

The news hit her like a stack of bricks and Afsaneh reached out, steadying herself against the window. She felt lightheaded and tears began to well in her eyes, but Afsaneh refused to let them fall.

"Commodore… I'm sorry. I know you- I'm sorry."

Afsaneh took a shuddering breath. "Thank you, Chen."

"I just thought… I thought you should hear the news in private."

Afsaneh forced herself to look at the other woman. "Thank you."

Zhang nodded and gave her a sad smile, then turned on her heel, leaving Afsaneh to bear her grief alone.

She didn't get to sleep for hours more, despite the fact that she'd been up for more than twenty-four already. They were one of the nearest space stations, and in the aftermath of the battle, the survivors flooded in in waves, limping along in their damaged ships. The station was at capacity, and the medbays were overflowing. She and her senior staff had converted a cargo bay and a conference area into triage centers, and the medical assistants treated the more minor injuries there, cots lined up tightly to accommodate as many as possible. Her doctors concentrated on the critical patients in the medbays, but they'd already lost three. It had been too late to save them by the time they'd arrived.

So she'd put her own grief to the side and focused on her job.

But when her work was finally done, and she finally allowed herself to rest, she didn't get in bed. She laid down on the long couch in the sitting area with a pillow and a blanket and waited for sleep to take her. The bed just didn't hold the pull it had before.