None of the characters are mine the belong to JE. I'll put them back when I'm done.
Acceptance
Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Mmmmmmmm
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
I wrapped the heavy shawl around my shoulders and walked out onto my balcony. The chill of the winter breeze and the view before me took my breath away. I felt like I was aboard my own personal cloud floating out toward a sea of diamonds that lay twinkling along the horizon. Paris, the city of love, would forever be to me the road to self-acceptance. The city where I finally discovered whom I was and where I was going in my life.
It had all started almost a year ago. Tessa Summers, a friend of mine from college, had called me out of the blue and asked me if I would be interested in taking a temporary position with Manolo Blahnik. At first I thought she was kidding. I mean, Manolo Blahnik. That was every Burg girl's dream. Access to the best designer FMP's in the world. Visions of little strappy sandals danced before my eyes and I had accepted immediately, hoping beyond hope that they would be paying with shoes not money.
Tessa sent me the necessary paperwork and within three days my apartment was packed and sent to storage and I was standing at the airport thinking, what the fuck have I done? Sure, this was a dream job … in Paris. Freaking Paris. For a year. What was I thinking? Paris was like a million miles away from Trenton . . . from my family. I had started to hyperventilate. I wanted to go home. I couldn't go. This was crazy. What had I been thinking? I had been ready to run when I had suddenly felt a warm hand on the back of my neck. I had immediately relaxed and leaned back into the comfort of Ranger. I could remember the conversation like it was yesterday. He had made me believe; he encouraged me to go, to soar, to fly.
"Babe, you're looking a little crazy," he said, a smile tugging at his lips.
"I...I..I'm having second thoughts.. My mom...Mary Lou...Rex...you…"
"Ssshhhh... Calm down," he said, running his hands gently up and down my arms. "It's okay to be scared, Babe. I know you can do this. You need this. You need to find out who you are, and what you want. Whatever you find will only be good. So go, spread your wings, babe, fly... That's all you've ever wanted to do. So just do it. We'll all be here when you get home."
He had leaned in and kissed me softly, gently, unlike the many times before then he picked up a box and handed to me. "Open it when you get there. Inside is the answer to all your questions on the mystery of me. Just be sure you're ready to know. Once you do there's no turning back. I'll no longer be a mystery." Then he'd walked away.
Well I would send them
but I know that it's just not enough Another aeroplane Let me go home
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
I shivered as a snowflake danced across my nose, and I turned and walked back into my apartment and sat down on the sofa. Tucking my feet under my legs, I reached over and picked up a brown leather photo album that was lying on the coffee table. I traced my fingertip along the gold embossed letters that spelled out The Adventures of Wonder Woman across the front. A lump formed in my throat as I read the passage that had carried me through so many days since I'd started my adventure here.
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ranger had started my path with what he did best: encouragement and faith. In that one single quote, I had known what I'd been searching for all my life. Peace. Sweet, wonderful peace. I wasn't like my mother, my sister, or my grandmother. Sure, they were part of me and each one of them had touched my life in some unique way. But they did not control my happiness or my inner peace. I had been looking for self-acceptance in their eyes, in the eyes of the Burg, when I couldn't even find it in the eyes of my own mirror.
And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life Another winter day has come
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me
And gone awayAnd even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
I flipped through the pictures one by one, smiling as I saw myself clearly for the first time. I was strong, independent and a bit quirky. I had made friends with the rich and famous, and the poor and infamous. I could be proper and refined, or chug down beer and roll in garbage. I'd never be the woman my mother thought I should be, but I could be all that I wanted to be, which was my choice after all.
My hand settled on the picture of me that had been taken in front of a fountain in Rome. I had been sightseeing all day, taking in the beauty of the country, thinking about how someday I'd visit this again, maybe with Ranger. And that's when it hit me. Someday had never been about Ranger changing his life for me, but about me accepting my life with him. I remembered running back to the hotel that day, flinging open my suitcase and pulling out the album. I hadn't opened it for fear of what it might hold. But the fear of not knowing suddenly frightened me more.
In a bundle in the back was a letter filled with pain and love as Ranger spelled out his life, his secret and his undeniable love for me. Enclosed was a single picture of him, with the man who loves you written carefully on the back. I had laughed at the secret and cried at the love. The secret of a man was just that. He was just a man. No secrets, no mystery. No batcave. An ordinary man in love with an ordinary woman.
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
I turned back to the pictures of us as we both grew together. He had visited me several times over the last few months, taking our relationship one day, one step at a time, until we were comfortable with whom we were, without losing the passion that had brought us together. He would always be my hero, saving me from losing myself in a world that didn't quite understand me. And I would forever be his angel saving him from a world without laughter. He believed in me and I believed in him, and through our trust we built a love that would last a lifetime, a lifetime we planned to spend together.
I picked up the phone and dialed his number, smiling to myself as I heard his voice, husky and laced with sleep.
"I miss you, Ranger."
"I miss you too, Babe."
"I love you, Carlos."
"I love you, too, Stephanie."
I smiled as I hung up the phone, and I took one last glance around the empty apartment. My bags were packed and had already been loaded in the waiting car below. I picked up the album, my purse and my plane ticket, and slowly closed the door behind me. I had taken a chance and followed my dreams, and in the one remarkable journey I'd found peace within myself, and a love that would last a lifetime. And tonight I was going home.
It will all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home
Home sung by Michael Buble