Well, it's finally here! The HP parody I've been promising! I'm sorry about the delay on Trickster, but I need to finish reading it again. It'll take a couple of weeks, max. So…. In the mean time, I will be writing this!
Summary: This is basically just a parody of all the HP books…. I'm sure it's been done before, but I don't give a crap.
Disclaimer: I ain't Jk, I own nothing, and all that disclaimy crap.
………………………………………………………………………………………….
Petunia: Get up!
Harry: As if!
Petunia: Up yours!
Harry: Ah touché
Dudley: You suck!
Harry: Well your fat.
Dudley: I an not- Hey a doughnut!
…………………………………………………..
Dudley: Ladedadeda! We're going to the zoo!
Dudley's friend I forget his name aka DFIFHN: Shut up.
Dudley: As if!
Harry: Up yours!
Snake: Yo what up?
Harry: Wow, I'm talking to a snake! This isn't weird or anything…
Glass: Ow…
Snake: Later..
…………………………………………………………
Harry: OMG like a letter for me?
Vernon: You wish
Harry: As if!
Vernon: I've gone completely crazy, so now we're going to ride around for a few days, while I act like a paranoid psycho.
Harry: Jolly.
……………………………………………………….
Hagrid: I'm sorry. I broketed your door.(A/N sorry, I've seen the longest yard a few too many times.)
Vernon: I'm gonna act like a complete wimp here.
Harry: Act like?
Vernon: Shut up.
Hagrid: Dude, your like a wizard!
Harry: Dats cool.
Vernon: Shut up!
Harry: Screw you.
………………………………………………………
Ron: Hi I'm poor and I have freckles!
Harry: Oh yea? Well, I have a scar, so beat that!
Fred: Burn!
Ron: Your not in this scene!
Fred: So?
…………………………………………………..
Hat: You'll go well with all those freaks in slytheren
Harry: Screw you!
Hat: Okay fine.. GRYFINDOR!
Harry: Ow my ears! What the freakin crap?
Hat: Haha
………………………………………………………
Hermione: I'm smart!
Ron: -cough-nerd-cough-
Harry: Hey, Ron, slight problem here..
Ron: What?
Harry: We're dead lost.
Ron: That sucks
………………………………………………………….
Malfoy: You suck!
Neville: Waaaaaaaaaaah!
Harry: Shiney!
Malfoy: Wow, you can fly!
Harry: Wow, I can fly!
Malfoy: Go fetch!
McGonagall: Wow! Totally wicked Potter!
Wood: I got a seeker, I got a seeker, I got-
McGonagall: Shut up.
…………………………………………………………
Hagrid: Ain't he cute!
Hermione: he's a freakin DRAGON!
Ron: ow..
Harry: Haha
…………………………………………………….
Lee: You suck!
McGonagall: Shut up
Lee: You wish!
Harry: SHINEY!
Lee: Dude, your not supposed to EAT it!
Harry: Um, so?
………………………………………………………….
Hagrid: Guess what? I got drunk and told a creepy stranger how to steal the sorcerer's stone!
Hermione: YOU FREAKIN IDIOT!
Ron: hehehehehehehehehehehe
Harry: Are you drunk?
……………………………………………………
Fluffy: Arg! Fear me! I have three heads!
Harry: Oh, yea well I have a flute!
Fluffy: NO! NOT THE FLUTE! ANYTHING BUT THE FLUTE!
Ron: Oooooooooooooook.
……………………………………………………….
Hermione: Freakin plant
Plant: Hehehe
Ron: Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy
Harry: Shut up
…………………………………………………………..
Harry: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Key: What the crap? Not another one!
…………………………………………………………..
Ron: I want the prettyful horsey!
Hermione: Good for you.
Harry: Hey Ron why don't you go play with that scary looking queen
Ron: Fun!
…………………………………………………….
Hermione: Drink this, I'm 50 sure it's not poison.
Harry: Ok!
Hermione: Well, ta-ta!
……………………………………………………..
Quirell: You suck!
Harry: As if!
Quirell: Up yours!
Harry: Haha, your face is burning!
Quirrel: What the crap?
…………………………………………………………
Dumbledor(A/N How do you spell his name?): Yo what up?
Harry: fo shizzle!
Dumbledor: You're a terrible rapper.
Harry: I resent that!
Dumbledor: Good for you.
……………………………………………………………
I know it's kinda short, I left some key parts out, but hopefully it will get better. I don't read Chamber much, but I've read Prisoner a million times. Please review! Flames are, as always, welcome. Pickles to you all!
-king's-own-knight