Title: A New Road
Author: Karen
Disclaimer: If anyone wants me, I'll be in the Witness Protection Program.
Rating: R
Category: Drama
Summary: Logan gets a second chance.
WARNING: Character death.
Series: This is a continuation of "The End Of The Road" storyline and picks up right where "In Love With Mississippi" ended.
Italics indicates telepathic communication
Marie's POV
In the end we only had six years together. Six wonderful love-filled years. It wasn't nearly enough. Ethan had been sick, so I hadn't gone on what was supposed to be a routine mission. When they returned with my husband's lifeless body I sat in on the debriefing and heard Hank say it had been a tactical error. In other words, it had been Scott's own fault. I had no one to blame but him. He'd made a battlefield decision that turned out to be fatal and left me with two children and six years of memories. I was twenty-five years old and I was a widow. For all the acknowledgement of the dangers we faced every time we donned the leather, it still left me unprepared for the cold harshness of reality. The fact that my husband had died a hero, saving countless others, was of little comfort to me.
Two weeks later, I was in the shower when I doubled over in excruciating pain and saw blood trickling down my thighs. I wrapped myself in a towel and staggered down to the medlab in time for Jean to help me as I lost Scott's baby. The baby he never even knew about.
They say there are stages of grieving, that it's normal. At first there was the denial and shock stage – he wasn't really dead. Even when they lowered his casket into the ground, I refused to believe it. The anger – why did he always have to be such a goddamn hero? The bargaining – I'd give up the hard-won control of my mutation, I'd quit biting my nails, whatever God asked of me, I just wanted fifty more years with him. That wasn't too much to ask, was it? The guilt – maybe if I'd gone on the mission, I could've done something. Taken out the bad guy before he got a chance to cut down the father of my children. The depression and loneliness stages threatened to suck the life force right out of me as they engulfed me completely. There were days in those first few weeks that I couldn't force myself out of bed, preferring to wrap myself in the sheets I'd refused to wash because his scent still lingered on them, a combination of Abercrombie & Fitch's Fierce and pure Scott. Kitty and Jubilee were a godsend, taking care of Sara and Ethan because their mother was a shell of her former self, incapable of even the simplest of routine tasks like making sure they brushed their teeth or that their breakfast consisted of more than just a bowl of Fruit Loops or a doughnut.
One afternoon as I lay in bed hugging Scott's pillow, Sara came into the room and informed me that Jubilee was the worst peanut butter and jelly sandwich maker on the face of the planet because she'd used strawberry jam with lumps instead of grape jelly.
I looked at my daughter's sad expression and burst out laughing, which prompted her to burst into tears. I'm sure that she thought her mother had finally slipped over the edge into complete madness and was distraught at the idea that Jubilee might have to take over mothering duties permanently. I gathered my sobbing child into my arms and begged her forgiveness as I started crying myself.
"Don't cry, mommy," Sara said, wiping her own eyes with her sleeve.
"Oh, baby," I sniffed, "mommy didn't mean to laugh at you."
"I'm sorry I cried and made you stop laughing," she replied.
"It's okay, peanut," I said, using her father's nickname for her as I gathered her in closer.
"He's not coming back, mommy, no matter how much we cry," my five-year old, with the wisdom of an adult, informed me.
"I know, peanut. Mommy just misses daddy a lot and my heart hurts."
"My heart hurts, too. Ethan thinks daddy's still away because he can't find good presents and that's what's taking so long."
I smiled at that. Trust my two-year old son to think in terms of gifts. Scott and I had a hidden stash of toys in a locker in the Ready Room and whenever we came back from a mission we'd always have presents for the kids. I remembered one time when Sara had asked Scott if they were 'airport gifts', because that's what her friend Lisa said she always got from her father when he came home from a business trip.
I got out of the bed and pulled on a robe.
"Let's go fix you a decent peanut butter and jelly sandwich, okay?" I said holding out my hand.
"Yeah," Sara said as she pressed her small hand into mine.
We walked into the kitchen to find Jubilee sipping a cup of coffee and Ethan with his face smeared with Spaghetti-O's. I'd swear my son was the messiest eater on the planet.
"Mommy!" he yelled, jumping up and spilling his glass of milk in the process.
Jubilee instantly produced a towel and nonchalantly pressed it into the puddle. We were all well prepared for my son, the walking disaster-zone. My mini tornado launched himself into my arms, leaving orange-colored sauce stains on my white robe as he hugged me.
"Hey, Scooter," I said as I cuddled him to me.
I'd always found it amusing that Scott's nickname for our son was the teasing nickname Logan had once bestowed on him.
I carried Ethan over to the sink, pulled a washcloth out of a drawer and dampened it ready to clean him up. He'd even managed to get sauce on his ears! As I wiped the last of his lunch off of his face and hands he gave a big yawn.
"I think somebody needs a nap," I said as I kissed his button nose.
"Great," Jubilee said with a sigh, "Just what the kid needs, a chance to recharge his batteries."
Ethan stampeded around the mansion with so much energy and destructive force that Scott had once jokingly asked me if I'd had an affair with Logan and Ethan was really a product of Logan's genetics instead of his. Unfortunately, at the time I didn't find the joke amusing and he found himself bunking on the couch for the night. I was lost in the memories of how we'd made up the next day when the Professor interrupted me on what Logan had always termed the brain phone.
Marie, I'd like to see you in my office at your convenience, please.
Just let me just put Ethan down for a nap and I'll be right there, Charles.
Splendid. I'll see you soon.
I'd told Charles that I would no longer be a part of the team as I couldn't take the risk that Sara and Ethan might lose both their parents. I also told him that I didn't expect him to let us stay at the mansion and that as soon as the life insurance claim was settled, I'd find a new place to live. He informed me that Scott had been a son to him in all but biology and as such, I was his daughter-in-law and Sara and Ethan his grandchildren, therefore, as his family he wanted us to stay. He told me that he'd promised Scott that he'd always provide for us should anything ever happen. He sensed my hesitation in accepting charity, so he told me that when I felt ready, if I would continue teaching he'd consider that payment enough.
I put Ethan down for his afternoon nap, showered and dressed and went down to Charles' office.
"Good afternoon, Marie," Charles greeted me.
"Good afternoon, Charles," I reciprocated as I leaned down to kiss his cheek before seating myself in one of the leather chairs in front of his desk.
"I'll come straight to the point," he began, "As you know, Ororo has declined to take over as Team Leader and of course, the team can't continue any longer without leadership …"
He trailed off and hesitated momentarily.
"Marie," he finally continued, the hitch in his voice evident, "I've asked Logan to return from England to lead the team."
Logan had been in England since a few months after Ethan's birth two years previously. After his relationship with Hayley had suddenly imploded, he'd accepted Charles' offer to lead an English division of the X-Men called Excalibur, named in honor of King Arthur's legendary sword.
"What about the Excalibur team?" I asked trying to sound nonchalant.
"Logan feels that Brian is ready to assume control. They've assembled a strong team in the last two years and now it's time for him to come home."
"Yes, of course, Logan would be the logical choice." I said, hoping I sounded calm even as my stomach was doing somersaults.
Logan and I hadn't parted on exactly the best of terms. He'd never accepted my marriage to Scott and my apparent desire to keep producing children with my husband had been in his words, "As if someone had used one of my own claws on my heart." The creation of the team in England had been the perfect excuse for him to be as far away as possible from having to watch me be happy. And now he was coming back. He hadn't attended Scott's funeral, having been away on a mission of his own at the time.
"He'll be here by the end of the week. I just thought you should know," Charles informed me.
"Thank you, I appreciate that. I need to go check on Ethan now," I said, wanting to end this awkward discussion.
"Of course," Charles said.
I walked out of the office slightly stunned. Logan was coming back.