Wahaha! I decided to write this crappy Lord of the Rings story because I was bored.
Summary: "Sam, stop it! You're hurting me with your gay!" Frodo gasped…
WARNING- Crossover (lots of weirdo Japanese musicians and gay porn stars), OoC, Popsicles, Prada bags, and all that sorts taboos. Don't read if you think you're going to get a great story out me. Because… this is pure crack. It's not even the funny kind of crack. This is more like crack that would make you vomit from disgust. OKAY?
/DRABBLE/
It was just another day in Middle Earth. No more evil, and everyone was happy and all that shit. Sam got divorced, Gandalf died from AIDS, Frodo came back, and Merry was married to the famous Japanese gay porno star Hikaru (love that boy, go watch the LUXE series. Lol. I humor me). Of course, Merry was then killed by Hikaru's new lover(s), Sho and Nagi. Boy, isn't that freaking la-di-da happy?! I THINK IT IS! Anyways, like I said, it was just another day.
"Master Frodo! You dropped your prada bag!" Sam said, handing it to Frodo like the obedient servant he was.
"Sam, stop it! You're hurting me with your gay!" Frodo gasped.
"Hey! Who's the one with the prada bag?" Sam yelled. And then…
SMACK!
"Oh, it's own bitchz!" Frodo yelled, grabbing his coach backpack and hitting Sam in the head with it repeatedly.
And soon, they were having a bag fight. Meanwhile, Pippin was staring at a shiny rock with Daishi from the band, The Romeo (you'd probably know him better as the vocalist from the now disbanded band Psycho le Cemu). But then suddenly, Daishi's knight and shining armor came in and harpooned Pippin with a chopstick to the heart.
"Oh, hi Lida-kun!" Daishi said cutely. THE CUTENESS! You can't deny it!
Suddenly, a big thud was heard. Sam lay on the ground defeated.
"Yeah! I knew I was da ultimate queen. Eat your heart out you other gay bitchz!" Frodo yelled, showing off his brand new 6 inch high heels with pride. Yes, he is the ultimate queen.
"NOT SO FAST!" a deep voice yelled.
IT WAS SHINYA FROM THE BAND DIR EN GREY! GASP!
"I'm way prettier than all of you combined! Don't you dare say you're the ultimate queen! You don't even have your own dog!" Shinya said, holding out his little dog Miyu (think Paris Hilton Chihuahua dog). "Ever queen knows that they need a freaking dog! You are so poserish! You're nothing more than a big talking tranny!" Shinya said, flipping his hair back like a true queen. GO SHINYA!
"REMEMBER EVERYONE! DAISHI LOVES YOU!" Daishi yelled out in the middle of it all. Everyone in the whole universe paused what they were doing and squealed. CCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! XDDD
"Hey look, I found a quarter!" Daishi said again, picking up the dirty coin. And then, he proceeded to throw it right at Frodo's eye.
"Holy motherfucking shit! You frugly asshole!" Frodo yelled.
EVERYONE GASPED. WHO DARE INSULTED DAISHI!?!!!!??!
But then, Lida blew a silent whistle and soon Frodo was being attacked by Kyo from Dir en grey. Kyo's teeth grew larger and larger and he sunk his fangs in to suck the hobbit's blood. Oh yeah, hobbit blood tastes like delicious vanilla ice cream. Hm… I'm getting hungry.
Then the author mypotato popped out of nowhere and observed my Middle Earth.
"This is some freaking messed up shit," mypotato thought.
Hope you enjoyed this. I'm going to get popcorn…