A/N: I wrote this last night because I felt pretty much like doing the same thing and I already had the idea of it earlier so I just figured I should write it. It is setafter the Season 2 finale. Maybe a bit OOC. Also, it's AU. A huge Thanks to my amazing beta eLynda.
Drown My Sorrow
Kate Beckett sat in her apartment bawling her eyes out and clinging to the almost empty wine bottle in her hand.
He had left for the Hamptons. With Gina. Not her.
He had left her. For Gina.
Kate couldn't stop her thoughts from wandering that way, so they did. And being completely honest with herself, she didn't even try to keep her thoughts at bay anymore.
Kate had been sitting like this for at least two hours. She couldn't tell anymore. She was still crying as hard as when she had closed the door behind her and her whole body was telling her to stop. It started to hurt but she didn't care anymore.
The wine bottle was already as good as empty...and it wasn't the first one she'd emptied, either. There were at least 10 empty bottles of beer and another wine bottle lying on the floor.
Kate was curled up on her couch and with the next sip she took the bottle was drained and joined the other ones on the floor.
She got up as fast as possible, re-considering her actions for a second before slowing down as the world around her started to spin. Then she continued like nothing had happened. She walked to the counter where she stored her alcohol and- deciding that she needed something stronger than wine- she grabbed the next best bottle. Vodka. She studied it for a second and stumbled back to the couch. Kate needed to steady herself several times but eventually made it to her destination.
The tears started to dry up slowly as she started the vodka.
He had left for the Hamptons. With Gina. Not her.
He had left her. For Gina.
As her mind raced back to the origin of her dilemma, Kate started crying and sobbing again.
Within the next hour she had emptied the vodka bottle as well. She lost her grip around it and it fell down to the others.
Suddenly, Kate felt sick. She hadn't exactly eaten anything although Castle had gotten her some Chinese food earlier around noon. Even though she could handle a lot of drinks, this was just too much. Kate knew she could never make it to the bathroom in time and she felt so dizzy that she just threw up on her floor. She would take care of that later. When there weren't three tables anymore and when the world stopped spinning so fast.
Then everything went black.
The next morning Lanie wanted to check up on her best friend so she tried to call her but no one answered. She was worried about the detective. The day before had been horrible for Kate and it was already 11am. Kate should be up to at least answer the phone. Lanie tried her luck as had Ryan, Esposito and even Montgomery, but no one seemed to be successful or to know anything. The ME considered calling Castle for a second but quickly decided against it.
Before she knew it, Lanie was on her way over to Kate's. Less than half an hour later she knocked on the door. When after five minutes no one answered, Lanie decided to use her emergency key to unlock the door. It took her less than three seconds to spot the empty bottles and a –hopefully- sleeping Kate on the couch. It took her another second to reach the couch and check Kate's pulse.
"Oh, girl, what have you done...?"
Kate had passed out badly and the next moment Lanie had her phone in her hand and called the ambulance. The next phone call was to Esposito.
"Yo, you found her? How is she?" He asked straight away.
"Not too good. I called an ambulance, she passed out. She drank an awful lot last night. The ambulance will tell us more."
"Fuck! You want us to come over?"
Ryan's head shot up next to Esposito when he heard his partner cursing like that. This didn't sound too good.
"Nah, I'll be fine but I'll let you know which hospital they'll take her to. 'Cause I'll hurt someone if she doesn't." They hung up and Esposito filled Ryan and Montgomery in a minute later.
Lanie's attention went back to the woman lying on the couch. That was until she heard the ambulance arriving. After some questions to Lanie by the paramedics, Kate was carried outside and sent to the closest hospital; Lanie followed right behind them. Esposito and the others would meet her there.
"Lanie. How is she?" Ryan asked when he had spotted the ME.
"She'll be fine but..."
"But?"
"I've never seen her like this. I mean, she drank herself unconscious. Kate Beckett does not do that... I gotta call Castle. I need to yell at someone," she explained and went to make the call.
The three men looked after her, not wanting to interfere with her right now and far too worried about Beckett to actually feel pity for Castle.
"Can we see her?" Esposito asked no one in particular as the other two shrugged and they went to pay Kate a visit together.
"Dr. Parish. Miss me already?" Castle answered his phone with a cocky grin on his face.
"CASTLE! Do you have any idea what you did to my girl? You better have a damn good excuse!" Lanie yelled into the phone.
"Woah, woah, Lanie! What are you even talking about?" There was a short break before, "Is Beckett alright?"
"If she's alright? Hell, no, Castle! She's not alright, she's barely ok."
"What happened?" His voice was full of concern, worry and she heard the hint of panic in his voice.
Lanie took a deep breath to calm herself a bit before she answered him.
"Kate's in the hospital. She drank herself unconscious last night. She will be fine but she'll have to stay for the next days but I don't know exactly for how long and she hasn't woken up yet either."
"Where?"
As soon as Lanie had told him which hospital they were at, Castle was on his way to his car. He ignored the shouting from Gina as he practically jumped in the car and left for NYC.
Hours later, Castle arrived at the hospital where Lanie was still waiting for him. The guys had left a while ago.
"Lanie. How is she?" He ran towards her looking very worried.
Lanie's anger for Castle seemed to have subsided and had made space for her own worry.
"She is getting better. She woke up an hour ago but fell back asleep. The doc said she had slight alcohol poisoning and has to stay until tomorrow. Then they'll see."
Castle was about to ask where she was when Lanie showed him. They went to her room together.
"You said it was my fault. What did I do?"
"You left her, Castle. You left her to be with your ex-wife. But, even more so, it's what you didn't do: you didn't take her with you. She broke up with Demming, you know? She was going to tell you and she wanted to go with you." Lanie explained, looking at her best friend instead of Castle.
His jaw dropped to the floor. How could this be? How could he have missed it? Then it hit him. Within a second Castle realized what had happened and what he did, or better, didn't do.
"I hurt her...this bad?"
"Yes, Castle, you did. I know you didn't mean to... Go home, there's nothing you can do here now. You can come back in the morning." She turned to him and laid her hand on his forearm.
Castle looked at the sleeping detective and nodded eventually. After several more minutes just standing there in silence, they left together.
The next morning came faster than Castle had thought it would. He was in the hospital as soon as he was awake, so to speak. The author found the way to Kate's room without a problem. She was still asleep when he entered the room. Castle sat down next to her bed and held her hand. Never would he have thought that Kate would drown her sorrow in alcohol. Neither had he ever thought that it would lead to a stay in the hospital.
He felt her fingers move in his and saw her eyelids flutter open. She was awake.
"Beckett, Kate, hey." He whispered softly when she looked at him after a few seconds.
"Castle? What are you doing here?"
Kate sounded sleepy and sort of powerless.
"Lanie called me when you got here, to yell at me. Then she told me where you were and I came."
"You didn't have to come...What about Gina and your book?"
"They'll have to wait. This is far too important. Kate, I'm so sorry I hurt you. I-"
Kate shook her head. He couldn't possibly have known. She didn't blame him. She wasn't the kind of person who lost themselves in alcohol but she had.
"You couldn't know. It's not your fault I'm here, it's mine. I'm sorry, Castle."
"I like you, Kate, a lot, and you can't tell me this is not my fault. I'm really sorry, I should have-"
"You didn't know." Kate interrupted him blushing a little. "I'm glad you're here, Castle. It means a lot to me. I like you too, you know?"
"I figured." He smiled at her and put a lost strand of hair back into place, "Don't do that again. You can yell at me, you can shoot me, but don't do this. Don't lose yourself in alcohol."
Kate smiled, apologizing.
"Oh, and stop apologizing, please."
"I promise, both. I didn't even mean to drink so much but...when I got home...I just couldn't stop anymore. You broke my heart when you left with your ex."
"And I'm so sorry for that. I never meant to hurt you in any way."
"I know." Kate smiled and lifted her hand to his face.
He gently grabbed it and kept it in his. They just looked at each other for a while and didn't notice that Lanie had arrived and was watching them in silence.
"I still want you to come to the Hamptons with me."
"I still want to come. When I get outta here that is."
Castle's grin reappeared on his face at that. Lanie started to chuckle at the door but not quietly enough to go unnoticed by Kate. She turned to her best friend and greeted her with a smile.
"Hey, Lanie."
"Hey, girl. You feeling any better?"
"Yeah. I heard you called Castle? You didn't have to."
"Hell, I had to! Hey, Castle."
"Lanie." He nodded at her with a small smile.
He had always enjoyed the two women and their conversations. It was pretty entertaining.
"You planning on kissing my girl today?" Lanie asked in a mocking tone, raising her eyebrows.
Kate blushed as her eyes widened a bit and Castle shook his head smiling. That was exactly what he had intended on doing.
"I was indeed. I just don't want to hurt her again."
"You only hurt her when you're bad." Kate laughed and Lanie soon joined her when she saw Castle's face.
"I'll leave you two alone now. And Castle? Don't mess this up, 'cause when you hurt her again, I'm not gonna be the only one who'll be hunting you down." With that the ME left and Castle and Kate watched her go.
"She scares me sometimes..." he said.
"I know she can be scary...so...are you planning on kissing me now?" Kate whispered as her cheeks got pinker.
"Absolutely." Castle grinned and bent forward to gently capture her lips with his.
They broke the kiss a few seconds later and they smiled at each other.
"I like you, Becks. I'll stay here and when you're ready, I will kick Gina out and we can leave for the Hamptons if you still want to."
Kate nodded and placed her hand on the back of his neck to close the distance between them again.
"I'd like that." She whispered between kisses.
Two days later they were in the Hamptons and Gina was back in NYC. With his muse by his side, Castle had finished the book and had a lot of time with his Kate. Never would he hurt her again.
THE END