Halo, a csi: miami fanfic

A/N: my very first e/c story...hopefully not my last. based on the episode when Calleigh found Eric's file.

Summary: what if the roles got reversed? what if when Calleigh had put Eric on the spot about his feelings for her, he had turned the tables and put her on the spot?

Disclaimer: if i owned csi miami, eric wouldn't have left the team and we'd be seeing more e/c

Flashback

Speaking

'Thoughts'

Calleigh's mind/Conscience

The alarm going off stirred her out of her sleep. Without opening her eyes, she stretched out her hand to where she knew it was and turned it off. It was early morning, barely dawn, so she opted to lay there for a few minutes. Knowing she'd have to get up soon, she let out a sigh as she opened her eyes. She rolled to her side, and her gaze got caught on a picture on her bedside table. It was a picture of all of them; Horatio, Ryan, Natalia, Tripp, Alex, Eric and her. She smiled as her gaze drifted over each one before stopping on Eric. She grabbed the photo and rolled on her back. She looked at it for a few moments before she traced her finger over Eric. Letting out a sigh, she replaced it. Groaning, she threw back the covers and rolled off the bed. Going to the bathroom, she went straight to the shower and turned it on, adjusting it to the setting that she wanted. She turned to her sink and grabbed her toothbrush and shower gel. She brushed her teeth before removing her pajamas and stepping into the shower. As the water ran over her skin, her mind flashed back to the conversation she had with Eric a few days ago.

Flashback

"Sometimes it sucks to have a memory problem," Eric said. "But other times it's good."

"How is having a memory problem ever good?" Calleigh turned to look at him.

"Well for one thing," Eric smiled. "If there was someone in your life you didn't like, then you would forget them and wouldn't have to pretend to like them."

Calleigh laughed, but on the inside she was extremely curious and anxious. She had no idea if she should mention anything about seeing his file. Eric opened his mouth to say something, but she stopped him. She couldn't take it anymore. So she blurted it out.

"I read your file." She watched as he froze.

"What?" Eric turned to fully look at her; shock evident in his features and body posture.

"Your file," she repeated. "When we were going through the doctor's office, I saw it."

"And you read it?" he asked.

"I saw your name," she shrugged and looked away before looking back at him. "And I opened it."

"What did you think?" Eric swallowed. He had wanted to deny it or at least switch topics but he knew exactly what was in the file and he found that a part of him didn't want to.

"Honestly?" she frowned at him. "I'm so confused."

"How?" he looked at her.

"Eric," She started. "I may have read the words, but I'm not sure what to make of them; I'm not sure what you really want. And until I actually hear you say the words, I don't think I can believe them because I don't think that you believe them." He looked away before looking back at her. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Cal," his voice was soft as he started talking. He paused for a few minutes and opened his mouth to continue but found that he couldn't; fear stopped him.

"That's what I thought," Calleigh sighed. "You can't say the words, can you? Then how am I supposed to believe what was in the file? Saying it would be 'nice' to settle down doesn't mean that it's what you really want." She swallowed, before continuing. "I'm sorry Eric, but I refuse to do this when you can't even say the words." At his continued silence, she shook her head and turned to walk away.

Eric stood there and watched her walk away. He understood where she was coming from with what she was saying. But as he went over her words, a part of him couldn't help to get angry.

"Well what about you?" he shouted at her when she was only a few yards away. His shouting caused her to stop.

"What?" she asked, a little confused as she turned to look back at him.

Gathering his courage, he walked over to her. When he was directly in front of her, he continued. "From the moment we met, I've always felt an attraction towards you and I've never made a deal out of hiding it. Over time friendship and trust grew between us, but that attraction was still there. Everyone knows how I feel about you Calleigh, but even after all this time and no matter how well I know you, I don't know how you truly feel about me. In any case, I should be the one asking you that question."

"What?" she looked at him shocked. Eric had never spoken to her like what before.

"I'm your best friend Cal," he said. "Which means I know better than anyone how guarded you are with your feelings. You find it hard to let anyone get too close to you and it's frustrating being on the receiving end of it. How I feel about you has never been in question; but how you feel about me is."

"Eric, I," she paused. She didn't know what to say.

"It sucks being in the hot seat doesn't it?" he asked. "I know how I feel about you Calleigh and you know it too. But I think that what I feel for you and what you feel for me scares you. I know that you give out this excuse of not getting involved with a co-worker, but you never even thought of actually giving us a try until you read my file; you still believed that all I felt for you was a silly high school crush."

Calleigh looked at him. She couldn't find the words to defend herself because he was right; about everything.

"So I'm asking you Calleigh," Eric took a deep breath, he knew that this question was the question and he was a little hesitant to ask it, but he had to; he needed to know the answer. "How do you really feel about me?"

She stared at him unable to answer his question. She had feelings for Eric, she knew that, but she just couldn't bring herself to say the words. She was terrified of what would happen. Eric, apparently frustrated, spoke before she did.

"I guess I'm not the only one that can't say the words," he let out a wry chuckle. He leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek. As he pulled back, he shifted his mouth to her ear and whispered, "When you're ready to tell me how you truly feel about me, then and only then, will I tell you how I feel about you." And with that, he walked away leaving Calleigh staring after him.

End flashback

Calleigh stepped out of the shower and wrapped her towel around her. Smoothing her wet hair back, she tightened the towel around her and walked over to the mirror. She wiped it off before walking out. She walked back into her room and went straight to her panty drawer. When she got her underwear, she went to her closet and grabbed her clothes for the day; black pants, a jade-green shirt and the black outer jacket. She dropped her towel and grabbed her deodorant and cream. After applying them, she pulled her underwear on followed by her pants. Going back into the bathroom, she grabbed the hair blower and plugged it up. She grabbed her towel from the floor and wiped out the excess water. After setting the blow dryer, she grabbed her brush from her dressing table and stood in front of the mirror. She turned her radio on as she started drying her hair. A song had just started to play and she absently listened to it as she thought over Eric's words. When he had said that she was scared of how she felt about him, he was right; she was scared. Eric meant so much to her and she couldn't stand the thought of not having him in her life. She was afraid to admit how she felt about him because she was truly scared of what would happen. 'What if it doesn't work out?' She thought to herself as she turned the blower off and unplugged it. But what if it does? A voice answered back. What are you so afraid of?

"Of getting hurt," she whispered.

DO you really think Eric would ever hurt you?

"No," she answered. "But what happens when it doesn't work out? I can't lose him."

What's with the 'when'? If you keep thinking like that, you'll never be happy. The relationship doesn't have to end if it's what you both truly want.

"That's what I thought about Jake," she replied. "And look how that turned out."

But when you were with Jake, didn't you find yourself thinking about Eric? Besides, you and Jake were never meant to last.

"We could've made it work," she protested. "And who's to say Eric and I are?"

Because he's different from Jake.

"How can I be so sure that Eric is the one and not Jake?"

Because Jake would never place you above his job and Eric would.

With that statement, Calleigh became quiet. Her mind went back to when Stetler had found out about her relationship with Jake and focused on Eric's words; 'if it was me, I'd change shifts.'

She knew that he had meant it, and remembered feeling a rush of gratitude and something else; something she now recognized as love. As she looked into her mirror, her gaze caught the photo on her bedside table, and the truth hit her then as she focused on Eric's face; she, Calleigh Duquesne, was utterly and completely in love with her best friend and partner, Eric Delko.

"I love him," she said out loud. As she finally admitted to herself, she felt a relief go through her. She then frowned as she thought of the best way to tell him. "How do I let him know exactly what he is to me?" She grabbed her green shirt and put it on before grabbing her jacket as well. As she was fixing it, another song came on. As she listened to the words, she was surprised to find that it was exactly how she was feeling. Getting an idea, she finished dressing and walked out the bedroom. She grabbed her radio from the table beside the TV stand and her phone from the kitchen as she had a quick breakfast before leaving. Locking the door behind her, she made her way to her car. On her way in, she stopped by a nearby music store and after a few minutes of looking, found the CD she was looking for. Smiling, she made her way back to her car. Half an hour later, she was pulling into the parking lot at MDPD. She called out to a worker as she made her way inside. Stepping on the elevator that would take her to her floor, though she didn't show it, she was filled with a nervous excitement. When the doors opened, she checked with the receptionist before making her to the locker room. Putting her stuff away, she grabbed her radio and the CD and turned to go out. When she was leaving, she ran into Ryan.

"Hey Ryan," she smiled.

"Hey Calleigh," He answered. "Just getting in?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Traffic wasn't too bad."

"Well aren't you the lucky one," he chuckled.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Natalia said she might be a bit late," he turned towards her. "She got stuck in a bit of traffic."

"I'm sorry to hear that," she smiled as she turned to walk out.

"What's with the radio?" he asked her.

"Just something I have in my mind," she smiled at him before walking off. At the door, she stopped and looked back. "Do you know if Eric's here yet?"

"Yeah he is," Ryan said as he ducked his head into his locker. "I saw him heading to the lounge just before I came in here."

"Alright," Calleigh smiled. "Thanks Ryan."

"No problem," he smiled back as he watched her walk out. Calleigh walked through the halls, bypassing Valera on her way to the lounge. When she was a few feet away, she saw Eric standing in front of the coffee pot, his back to the door. Taking a deep breath, she walked over. Not wanting him to know she was coming in, she slowly and carefully opened the door. Just as careful, she closed it. Since her radio worked on batteries, she turned on the CD player and skipped to the song she wanted. She turned the volume up, but hit pause when Eric turned around.

"Cal?" He looked at her. "What's with the radio?"

"You told me that you needed to hear how I felt about you," she said. "Well, this is the only way I can think of to show you what you mean to me." She paused before continuing. "Please, just listen."

Nodding his head, Eric did as he was told. Letting out a silent breath of air, Calleigh hit the play button and let the song play.

(Verse 1)
Remember those walls I built?
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But, I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

(Pre-chorus)
It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm taking
I ain't never gonna shut you out!

(Chorus)
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby, I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
Halo, ooh ooh.....

(Verse 2)
Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light
I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

(Pre-chorus)
It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm taking
I'm never gonna shut you out!

I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
Halo, ooh ooh.....

I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
Halo, ooh ooh.....
Halo, ooh ooh.....
Halo, ooh ooh, oh........

I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
Halo, ooh oh.......
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
Halo, ooh oh.......

When the song was over, Calleigh stopped the player and set it on the table. Hoping it worked, she turned back to Eric.

Eric looked from Calleigh to the radio and back again. "What does this mean? Cal….what are you saying?"

She walked over until she stood directly in front of him. She grabbed his left hand in her right and touched his cheek with her right. "I'm saying that I'm in love with you Eric Delko."

"What?" Eric's eyes widened in shock; hoping he heard her right.

"I'm completely in love with you," Calleigh repeated. The smile that came over Eric's face was so bright and captivating, that Calleigh found herself smiling back. Eric leaned down and captured her lips in the most sensual kiss she had ever experienced; it conveyed everything he was feeling. He pulled back slightly and looked in her eyes, while he rubbed her cheek with his thumb. He bent down again and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

"Te amo también querida," he whispered against her lips. She smiled. They jerked apart to the sound of applause. Turning around, they saw Ryan, Natalia, Valera and Horatio standing there.

"It's about time you guys," Ryan laughed.

"What the hell?" Eric asked his arm around Calleigh's waist. "You guys were spying on us?"

"So what if we were?" Natalia chuckled. "Do you know how long we've waited for you two to finally admit how you feel towards each other?"

"We deserved to see this," Valera smirked.

"I agree," Horatio smiled at them.

"Wait," Calleigh said. "What about Stetler? Will he come after us?" This was a fear of hers and Eric understood because his arm tightened around her waist.

"You leave Stetler to me," Horatio told her. "I've waited patiently for this day and I will allow nothing to ruin it." He smiled at them as he fingered his shades. "I have every confidence in your ability to do your job regardless of your personal situation and if Stetler has a problem with that, he can deal with me."

"Thanks H," Eric smiled.

"You never have to thank me Eric," Horatio turned to go out. "Back to work guys." The rest of the team laughed and Eric and Calleigh stole one more kiss before doing as he said.

(Later at Calleigh's)

Calleigh placed the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher before turning it on. She wiped her counter, and when she was done, she threw the rag in the garbage and walked out the kitchen into the front room. Eric was sitting on her couch, flipping through the channels. When he saw her, he patted the space next to him. Smiling, she quickly walked over and sat down; he immediately placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. She snuggled into his chest. Eric soon found a movie and they settled in to watch. After a few minutes, he turned his head to look down at Calleigh. While he was overjoyed to find out she felt the same way about him, there was something he wanted to know.

"Hey Cal?" he called softly.

"Yeah?" she lifted her head to look at him.

"Why were you so afraid to tell me how you felt about me?" he asked. "Why were you fighting it?"

Calleigh was quiet as she thought on his question. She knew why she was afraid; she just didn't know how to tell him. But then, she scolded herself as she realized that this was Eric, her best friend and now, the man she was in love with. Needing to face him when she told him, she shifted out of his arms and turned her body fully towards him.

"Eric," she started. "You were right when you said you were my best friend and that you know me better than anyone else. You were also right when you said how I felt about you and how you felt about me scared me. The way I feel about you, I've never felt that way about anyone before….not even Jake. You are the most important person in my life and if there's one thing I'm terrified of, it's losing you."

"That's not going to happen," Eric said softly.

"You don't know that," She shook her head. "I almost lost you before. But that's not what I'm talking about. I was afraid that if I told you how I felt about you and we got together then we might break up and things would change between us and I didn't want that."

"Things would never change between us Cal," Eric grabbed her hands. "Besides, you don't have to worry about that because I don't plan on us breaking up. I waited patiently to have a chance with you and I am not letting you go; I love you too much. But you have to believe in us Calleigh; you have to stop thinking about 'when' we're going to break up. I understand what you're saying. And should we break up, God forbid, you'll still have me because I'll always be your best friend."

Calleigh, felt tears in her eyes. He not being a part of her life was truly a huge fear for her and to hear him say that helped chase away most of it.

"Calleigh, what you read in that file," Eric rubbed her cheek with his thumb. "I meant it. I love you and you're the only one I want to spend my life with."

She looked into his eyes and saw that he was telling the truth; that he meant every word he said to her. He truly did mean everything to her and once she had allowed herself to open her heart and finally admit how she felt about him, she knew that she felt the same way he did; he was the only one she wanted to spend her life with.

"I love you too," she smiled as she ducked her head down to kiss him; a kiss that she poured everything into. "Every word in that song was true Eric. You're my Halo and I never want to let you go."

"You'll never have to," he smiled. "Te amo querida."

"Te amo también," Calleigh whispered against his lips. They kissed once more before turning back to the TV. As she snuggled up into him, Calleigh knew that like other couples, she and Eric would have their problems, but as long as she remembered how they felt about each other they would be able to get through anything.

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby, I can feel your halo
I pray it won't fade away

A/N 2: how did you guys like it? i hope it was good. read and review and tell me what you think

Song: Halo by Beyonce