Betrayal and Forgiveness

Disclaimer: I have merely borrowed these characters for the purpose of writing this story. The characters and part of the text below belong to JK Rowling.

Chapter 1: Betrayal

It had definitely been the worst day of her life, she thought as she muttered the password to the Fat Lady and entered the Gryffindor Common Room. Lily headed straight for the girls dormitory and flung herself onto her bed, tears welling in her eyes again. She wiped at them angrily, she was sick of the boys at Hogwarts. Severus, for being the worst best friend ever, Potter for bringing out the worst in him.

She wouldn't be friends with Sev again, not after today's incident out at the lake. It was unforgivable, calling her a Mudblood and he had made it clear what her really thought of their friendship. It hurt, really hurt when she thought of all the times she had defended him, been his friend when she was ridiculed for it. No one could understand why she was his friend. Lily sighed as tears escaped, as she acknowledged that he had changed a lot this year although it had started earlier than that. He now seemed far too interested in Dark Magic and he had been muttering for a while about the logic You-Know-Who was proclaiming.

His Slytherin housemates also left something to be desired and she had told him, begged him even, to keep away from them. She didn't trust them, especially after hearing that two students had ended up in the infirmary last week after they had supposedly cut themselves in the bathroom. Neither of the students remembered cutting themselves or even why they had been in the bathroom to start with. Dumbledore was worried, she and the other students could see it. Obviously the teachers hadn't found out who had hurt these students, there hadn't been any news of students being expelled from Hogwarts.

Lily heard some girls coming up the stairs and felt her cheeks grow hot as she wondered who at the school didn't know about the lake incident. She hastily closed the curtains around her bed with her wand so she couldn't be seen. She was so humiliated by it all and furious as well. Potter and his arrogant friends had gone out of their way to embarrass Sev in front of as many people as possible and she had been caught in the crossfire.

As she dressed for bed, she plotted what she could do to them tomorrow as she lay there fuming. Perhaps she could cover them with boils, or maybe she could cover them all with a rash to make them impossibly itchy, although attacking them with bats had its merits too. She would have to teach that imbecile toerag Potter a thing about discretion.

"Err, Lily, are you there?" came the quiet voice of her friend Mary.

"I'm here Mary," she replied, wiping her face with her sleeve and hoping she didn't look all red and swollen from crying. She used her wand to open the curtains and looked out at her friend.

"It's just that Snape is down by the entrance to the Common Room. He said that he wants to talk to you."

"Tell him to go away."

"Well, I did that already. Actually it wasn't just me... Anyway, he said he is going to camp there until he has seen you, so you probably should go and talk to him before he gets cursed by... well you know."

Lily ground her teeth together in annoyance. "Fine, I'll go and speak with him."

She got off the bed, threw on her dressing gown and headed to the bathroom. There was no way to hide that fact that she had been crying, her eyes were all red and glassy. She threw water over her face and decided that Sev should see what he did, and with a deep breath, walked towards the stairs.

Lily found him seated outside the entrance, just as Mary had promised.

"I'm so sorry, Lily," Severus said in a whisper as he looked up and saw her standing in front of her.

"I don't care."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath. I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just –"

"Slipped out? It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater Friends – you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Lily watched him open his mouth, but nothing came out. No denials, she felt a twist in her stomach. "I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No – listen, I didn't mean –"

"- to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?" She watched him try to come up with something more to say, but she had had enough of it. She tossed him a contemptuous look and climbed back through the portrait hole.

She was close to tears again as she walked rather blindly towards the stairs that would take her back to the dorm, when two strong male arms caught her and held her in her place. She looked up angrily and almost burst when she saw who was holding her. "Potter," she hissed, "get the hell out of my way, right now!"

"Sorry Lily, but I can't do that," he replied.

"Get your hands off me," she said and wrenched herself away. He let her go but stepped towards her, blocking her escape.

"Just let me..."

"I don't want to talk to you," she choked, "get lost." It was too late; the tears that had threatened now tumbled down her face with a vengeance, making Lily even madder that James Potter was standing in her way.

"Please Lily, I am sorry about today. I am sorry you have lost a friend, even if it was Sniv... err Snape."

"You couldn't care less," Lily yelled, wiping at her face with the sleeve of her gown.

"I don't care about Snape, that's true, but I do care about you."

"Well you have a funny way of showing it. Now get out of my way before I hex you." She pulled out her wand to show that she wasn't kidding.

James held up his hand in surrender, "Okay, I am backing away, but please believe me when I tell you that I am sorry that this happened the way it did. We did have a reason you know."

Lily ignored this last comment and rushed towards her room. She threw herself back on her bed and closed the curtains and grabbed some tissues to mop up the tears. Potter and his friends had never needed a reason to humiliate others before, she thought angrily. No doubt this latest stunt was just their way of showing off again, It's just that someone else got caught up in it all.

She lay on her bed listening to the sounds of the other girls getting ready for bed. "Lily, if you need to talk, I'm here," Mary said quietly from the other side of the curtain.

"Thanks, but not now," Lily whispered back. She lay there for a long while before drifting into a fitful sleep with bad dreams, full of students getting hurt while others in dark masks stood around laughing at them.

"I still can't believe that weasel called Lily a Mudblood!" James said as he stormed around the boys dorm. Sirius and Remus watched him pace up and down, kicking at anything that happened to be on the floor in his path.

"Did you speak to Lily?" Remus asked.

James nodded and sat with a thud on the chest at the end of his bed. "It didn't go well - I think she really hates me." He put his head in his hands and said "I think I have really and truly blown it with her now." Tears welled in his eyes, "Damn Snape and all his cronies. She wouldn't even let me explain."

"James, perhaps you are just going to have to give Lily sometime to calm down. She is obviously upset about what Snape said to her so she isn't going to feel very charitable with you now, is she?"

"I don't think she will even talk to me Sirius."

"Well, we'll just have to go down to breakfast tomorrow and test the air. Then we can try and come up with a plan, right boys?"

"Sure Sirius. It will be okay James, you'll see," said Peter.

James sighed and fell back on his bed. "Okay, we'll 'test' the air tomorrow. I am sure it will be full of poison though," he finished with a sigh.

"That's the spirit," teased Sirius. "I always appreciate that sort of optimism."

James found a pillow and threw it at him.