Title: The Secret of Tuxedo Mask

Author: frkwerewolf

Fandom: Sailor Moon

Rating: G

Summary: Mamoru goes shopping.

Notes: This is full dialog. as in no description, only talking.

"Hello, sir. How may I help you?"

"Yes, I'm looking for a black tuxedo and cape. I will also need a black cane. White vest, white tie. Oh, and do you have a black top hat?"

"I believe we do. Please come this way and we will measure you."

"Thank you."

"...Rather long inside leg."

"Yes, well..."

"Hmmm... I do believe we can find your size. Now I must measure your head."

"...For the hat?"

"Oh? Yes, yes. Of course... The hat."

"...."

"Now, how tall do you want your hat?"

"Oh, about... Seven inches."

"Seven! Dear boy.... If you say so. That's quite a large hat."

"What do you mean?"

"Well the height and the width...."

"Are you saying I have a big head?"

"No, no, no. Now, my dear boy, would you like any shoes?"

"Hmmm... Yes, some black dress shoes."

"Do you know your size?"

"Ten and a half."

"Such small feet..."

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing! Would you like them heeled?"

"Well, not really. Though I wouldn't mind them clicking when I walk."

"...Right. I'll be right back."

[Later on that night...]

"Look, it's Tuxedo Mask!"

"I am here to help, Sailor Moon."

"Well, duh."

"Jupiter! Hush!"

"Well, it's rather obvious!"

"Still... Sailor Moon is happy to have him here, that's what counts."

"Sailor Mars, this is Sailor Moon we are talking about."

"Oh... Right."

"Umm... Tuxedo Mask?"

"Yes, Sailor Mercury?"

"Your tag is showing."