BROKEN BY LUNARVIOLENCE

Summary: It was always Katara. And because of that, I'm left broken.

Author's Note: hello so it's me again. the writer of pain and insanity. (wow i just realized all my stories are angst-y and stuff oops sorry. i promise i'll make it up to you all by writing a fluffy one next time!) so i just had this idea like what if you were in mai's pov and what would mai feel like. honestly, i dont like it when authors portray mai as someone cold and uncaring, i mean obviously she loves zuko and what she did for zuko back at the boiling rock (helped him escape even if it meant she'd be imprisoned) was so sweet and i never did hold a grudge against mai and i want everyone to open their eyes and change their opinion/perspective on mai. sure, she can be cold and emotionless, but she's still human, you know? so this is a zutara fic, just in mai's pov which may or may not be a sad one.

Disclaimer: iown nothing. except for this fic, of course.

without further ado, i present to you all: broken.

p.s. review ok? :)

Love. Such a silly thing, isn't it?

But no, it's not. It's a wonderful feeling. If you asked me what love feels like I'd normally say boring, but in my head I would've had a thousand things to say that I have no strength nor confidence to tell anyone.

But the thing is, love doesn't hurt. People tell you that love will hurt you more than anything else and break your soul and tear your heart strings. That love will make you look foolish.

It won't. That's what people think, love. What hurts, though? The aftermath of lost love.

Love that was lost doesn't only apply to a breakup or rejection. It also applies to the in-between, those moments where you just start losing it. But mostly, the moment you realize he's not yours anymore.

People envied me. People would've killed to win the heart of the great Fire Lord, Zuko. Don't worry. I would've killed to win his heart, as well. But sadly, I lost in this damned game to a water witch.

But no matter what, I can't seem to bring myself to hate Katara. Such a pretty name. Just her name's enough to make anyone happy. But a dull 'Mai'?

But that's not it. Katara is a beautiful lady. She's got everything I don't have and that's why I never questioned what Zuko sees in her. She's kind, generous, helpful, and happy.

She's mostly happy.

And when she's happy, Zuko's happy.

And when Zuko's happy, I'm happy.

And that's why I had to let him go.

Even if it meant that my heart will be ripped, shattered, bruised, and broken.

I've seen love blossom between the two of them. There are times when I ask Zuko if there is something going on. But most of the time, I cry.

It was always Katara. Always.

How can I tell? Well, it was in the way Zuko would glance at her once in a while as we feast. Every damn breakfast, lunch and dinner time. Some wouldn't've caught it but I see his golden eyes flicker to her direction.

Sometimes, it was in the way Zuko would hold her hand and put it on his arm as they walk in the palace's royal garden. They might not say it, but the garden is their favorite place to be with each other.

It was also in the way when Zuko would block the leering gaze of a perverted old man from Katara by stepping protectively in front of her and viciously glare at the man who threatened to hurt Katara.

But most of the time, I'd see the way he looks at Katara. He used to look at me that way, and oh, how it made my heart melt. His eyes. Oh spirits, his eyes. It reminds me of summer days, childhood, and all the nice things you can name in the universe.

Katara's annual vacation in the Fire Nation is almost over, and she has to leave once again along with Zuko's heart and leave him miserable once again.

And I know, I'm the one who will have to put an end to his misery.

"I love you. And that's why we have to break up."

"Wait, what? Mai-"

"I know what I'm doing, and why. You don't love me anymore."

"How can you say-"

"No, Zuko. It's alright. We've been really bad at this...relationship."

"But Mai-"

"Do you love Katara?" I wonder how I'm managing a straight face. Or maybe not.

"Mai, what are you saying?"

Sigh. "Zuko. Do you love Katara? Answer me, honestly."

He was silent for a few seconds. "I'm sorry."

I know what his apology meant. I turned my back to him so he won't see my pained expression and vulnerable state. I never show any emotions, but this was too much. "Are you happy with her?"

He sighed, and finally "Yes."

I turned to look at him and hugged him, one last time as a lover. "Then I'm happy. It's alright, Zuko. I don't hate you."

"I'm so sorry, Mai."

I smiled at him. A sad one, it was. "Goodbye, Zuko."

And with that, I walked up the ramp of the ship that'll lead me home. It was only supposed to be a vacation, but staying there might become permanent for me.

And it saddens me, my home from now on wont be Zuko's arms, but will be Katara's. Katara, who's heading to the Fire Nation right now for her annual vacation. Katara, who's very lucky to win this game. Katara, who Zuko truly loves.

Katara, whose heart is the opposite of ripped, shattered, bruised, and broken.