Disclaimer: This counts for every other chapter got it? (okay, deep breath, time to face the truth)

breathe in I DONT OWN LOVE HINA! GOT IT!

YAY! I SAID IT!

Inspired by kerochan606's story Bakura's Pink Fluffy, er, Blood Red Diary, er, Book

Well, as you guys can see, this is my first fic, EVER! Yea I clearly suck here and I'm gonna need all the help I can get, sooooo, if u guys can review (I can take flames) I'll try to make the story better.

In kerochans story it's in first person because Bakuras writing in first person and all that. This fic will be real similar, but different… you'll see soon enough… MUAHAHAHAHAH! ahem

Chapter 1: Intros and Girls

Yo, the names Urashima Keitaro, 20, girlfriendlessness, and deviously handsome. I live in this all-girls dormitory with 5 hot babes surrounding me at all times. How, you may ask, have I ended up living with these women? Pure luck my friend, pure luck. Lets go through the list here in my computer enhanced geniusly handsome brain.

Narusagawa Naru- Hot, total bitch, but smoking hot. Let's see, man hater, pervert hater, fun hater, Keitaro hater? Who the hell put that there? Always punches me for no reason wutsoever, claiming I'm doing something perverted, like peeking, harassing, peeking, touching, peeking, feeling up Shinobu's skirt, oh… and did I mention peeking? She acts like a total bitch, but she wants me, she wants me so bad she wants to kill Seta so he won't distract her no more.

A/N: Hey, a guy can dream right?

Motoko Aoyama- Hot, total bitch, and lesbian. Same things as Naru, and studies some kind of kendo stuff, School- Gods Cry School, sounds cool but can gods cry? Lesbian for certain reasons,

1. She hates me, who can hate someone as handsome as me?

2. Man hater in general.

3. Has many 'female' fangirls that follow her around.

4. Sleeps with Su at night in a bear crushing hug.

And 5. She's freaking violent! What kind of girl is violent!

...don't answer that…

Maehara Shinobu- Nice girl, shy, meek (whatever that means), overemotional, REALLY good at cooking. Not much, but I'm pretty sure she likes that guy we saw at Aunt Harukas Café'. I was drinking a nice Orange Crush that day, when I looked over at Shinobu she started blushing and stuff. And when I looked beside me there was this really old guy walking out. That's kinda creepy, being into old people.

Thinking about Shinobu is making me hungry, hold on a second brain… Went to go get a snack… ;

Ahhhh…. That was goooood. Now where are we…?

Su Koalla- Young, high suger levels, lesbian, and child genius (not as geniusy as me though). Constantly hugging Motoko and Shinobu, defiantly a lesbian. Can create weapons of mass destruction with super cool effects! Why don't I make weapons? ahem I can but I'm busy... um… um…, shut up…

Konno Mitsune- Alcoholic, prostitute, free lance writer, drug dealer… wait scratch that last one.

Always drunk, even when she seems sober she's still a little drunk. Prostitute, WELL! HOW ELSE CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHY SHES ALWAYS HITTING ON ME! Hmm? Conning me out of my money so I can buy her some more sake? That's the craziest idea I ever heard of!

There's also this one other hot girl (with huge breasts!) who doesn't live at Hinata-Inn.

Otohime Mutsumi- HotHotHotHotHotHotHot, watermelon lover, HotHotHotHotHotHotHot, wants me soooo bad, HotHotHotHotHotHotHotHot. She'd even look more hotter if she bothered to wear more skimpy clothing. ECPECIALLY TO SHOW OFF HER BIG BOOBS! And the bimbo act? I think she took it a little too far… But, she can play bimbo with me in bed anyday!

Okay, all the girls who live with me! Cept the total hot, total ditz known as Mutsumi.

By the way, if your wondering why and where I'm talking to myself, I'm in my room at night just talking to myself cus Su shoved like 10 sugar cubes down my throat so I'm bouncing all over the walls because I cant get all that sugar out of my system! While the girls at the moment are all in the hot springs stoned as a gigantic boulder rolling down a cliff about to crush a small city killing hundreds and hundreds of people which will become my small kingdom after I gain control of alien technology to destroy my greatest rival, or should I say rivals, THE TELLITUBBIES! There is no way I can beat them, them and all there alien powers, like making tubby custard appear from a machine.

Brr… just thinking about their evil powers make me shiver in fear… Oh! Here comes Aunt Haruka! Go to sleep? HAH! NOONE CAN MAKE THE FUTURE RULAR OF THE TELLITUBBIES GO TO SLEEP!

OH KAMI-SAMA! She started to throw tea cups at me! TEA CUPS WITH RAZOR SHARP HANDLES! Wait, how can she even hold them?... whatever… But for my powerful ability to use the Matrix, I'm about to dodge them all with ease! SEE MY POWER AUNT HARUKA! THROW THOSE TEACUPS AS MUCH AS YOU WANT! MUAHAHAHAH!

Narrator: While overconfident in his abilities Keitaro Urashima managed to completely miss the fan flying directly towards his lower privates… a sad day for one to lose his manhood…

Who said that? A fan? Where? Uh Oh… this is gonna hurt… a lot…

ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

owie owie owchies….

Well, I'm finally in bed, my nuts hurt, and I'm finally out of the sugar in my system. I wonder what adventure we'll have tomorrow. Right Hamtaro? Whoa, wrong show.

DAMN YOU TELLITUBBIES!

Well, just an intro and all that. But you guys pretty much knew them already huh?

Sorry for the short first chapter you know I really need help here so flames or no flames I just really gotta know how to improve this thing. I dunno if this is gonna get better or not, and if it doesn't! I'll make it happen. But that probably won't happen because I just got

Fullmetal Alchemist 1 & 2 for Ps2 and I think I'm gonna finish the games for a while. No worries guys! It just takes me like um something hours to finish the game! Is that a good thing or bad thing? WHATEVER!

Ja Ne!

See ya soon!

Soons too long! T.T

Fayte Angel .