Scully entered the dim-lighted room quietly. The room itself didn't heighten her mood- it was a dark room from the maroon pain and black leather furniture.
"It's nice to see you again, Dana." Dr. June Ingle smiled small. Scully nodded.
After Dr. Ingle looked at a few things on her desk she looked up at Scully who's mind was obviously else where. She jut watched her for a minute until Scully felt the doctor's eyes on her. They stared at each other for a moment when the doctor spoke, "why don't we go sit over there?"
Scully followed the woman and sat on the short couch. In front of her was a small coffee table with two glasses, and a water pitcher on a metal tray. Scully stared at it for a moment while the doctor sat in a chair, "Would you like some water?" Dr. Ingle asked Scully quietly. Scully shook her head. After a few more minutes of silence, the doctor trying to find signs of Scully's problem, she spoke again, "I heard you requested to see me, there must be something up, huh?" Scully looked down at her hands, trying not to get upset. "Take your time, "Dr. Ingle leaned back in her chair, holding a writing pad. Scully prepared herself, taking her time to hold back the feelings she had.
"A couple weeks ago my cancer reached its worse… I knew I was going too die. I felt it. I-I felt death in me… my family came to visit, the doctor had told them that I was going to go soon. I tried to make peace with my brother and my religion…" Scully stopped. The doctor waited patiently, then spoke after a minute, "its ok Dana, continue."
Scully took in a deep breath, then continued, "I asked my family to leave and see if Mulder was out in the waiting room… they looked for half an hour, called him, my brother even went to his office and apartment. But he wasn't around. My family wanted to stay with me, they wanted help my journey to death be easier… but I said no. I had them leave the room. If Mulder wasn't there I wanted to be alone…" Scully chocked, her lip started to quiver and tears warmed her eyes.
"I missed him, I wanted him near." The Doctor broke in, "Why?" Scully tried to control herself and slowly she forced her lip to stay steady, "Mulder's always been a sense of strength for me, we've grown close over the years. I wanted him to be there, I wanted to tell him things that needed to be said."
"Like?" Scully looked away with tears forming again, the Doctor waited patiently once more.
"I just… I wanted to explain the situation to him. I knew he blamed himself. I knew he believed it was his fault. But it wasn't"
"Did he show up?" The Doctor wondered. After a few moments Scully nodded, "Yeah, I had closed my eyes- I felt so tired. I had been thinking about Mulder, thinking about some fun and not-so-fun times we've had… and soon enough I felt him slip his hand into mine… when I opened my eyes he was sitting there smiling softly. I was so happy to see him. I wrapped my arms around him and he hugged me back tightly… I knew I'd miss him most of all… I realized after a bit, that this was my chance to explain the things I wrote in my diary for him…" Again Scully stopped, tears started to fall.
"Please continue, it will feel better to get this all of your shoulders." Scully pulled herself together and went on, "I started to explain what he meant to me but after awhile I started to get tired again. He told me I needed rest and he leaned in closer… He kissed me lightly and as he pulled away I told him I loved him. I don't know if he heard me or not but I was so tired, I could barely move, let alone talk. I did manage to hold on to his hand and he held back, assuring me he wouldn't leave. I fell asleep holding on to him. I fell asleep with him at my side, and though I didn't wake up to see him again, I know he would always be there, at my side.
Mulder moved out of the way for the nurses and sat on the hall floor. He put his head in his hands and for once in his life he prayed. He didn't' know how to exactly or to who but he did anyway. He prayed that Scully would make it, he prayed she'd pull through, and by some hope and faith just maybe he'd get his second chance with her.
After a half hour a nurse came out of the room and approached Mulder. It took him a second to realize someone was in front of him and he jumped up.
The nurse could tell he had been upset, his eyes were red and the florescent lights glared off the tears stained on his cheeks. Mulder asked, "how is she?" he waited and after every second the nurse delayed his faith started to crumble.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Mulder," he didn't want to hear the rest, "But she didn't make it."
His heart stopped right there. He slid down the wall and slumped to the floor. After the nurse started to go back to the room he called out to her, "Can I see her?"
The patients family wasn't really supposed to see the deceased but she could tell he needed to resolve some unfinished business, "Wait here."
After the nurse went back to Scully's room, he put his head back in his hands. But he held back, he had to be strong he had to fight and not give in. He'd miss her more then anything, especially when they got so far on their journey, but he wouldn't let her be forgotten.
After a half hour or so, some more nurses and a doctor filed out of Scully's room. The same nurse he had talked to before approached him," you're welcome to go in. I'll be back in a few minutes."
He watched her until she disappeared down the hallway.
He finally got up and approached Scully's room. Waking in there he expected to look at her and she'd be smiling like she always did, when they were around each other. But this time it was different. He could tell the nurses cleaned her up and all the tubes that were in her before were now gone. She looked peaceful but it hurt to see her so stiff, so lifeless. He walked to the side of her and took her hand in his. She was still warm but he could tell she was cooling off quickly. He didn't know where to begin with her, but finally he got the courage to speak.
"Dana… I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can--- I miss you. And I'm sorry for this. I'm sorry this has happened to you because of me... I care about you very much and I'm not going to stop until I find who's done this to you. I won't let anyone get away with this, I will find the truth, for you, and for us… You know I lost my sister and I didn't know why or who took her, and now I've lost you in the same way… but the difference between my sister and you is, I loved my sister very much, but I was- am, I am, in love with you. Even if you're in heaven and I go to hell, or even if you were alive and I was dead or four-thousands miles away, I'd still be in love with you…" he leaned in and kissed her forehead like he always had, then spoke once more, "This isn't the end Scully. You're still alive in me and you always will be."
He stayed next to her, holding her hand, for while. He didn't speak or cry or show any emotion. He just sat there, remembering their past and all the good and bad things they'd been through.
He hadn't noticed the nurse come in and it startled him when she started talking, "you know, she spoke fondly of you," Mulder held on to Scully still, but looked up at the nurse. "Some people can sense when their time is near, and she knew. And she was scared. But whenever she talked of you, she smiled and her fear was gone… As a nurse people tend to tell you things that they've kept secret- she didn't do that though..." Mulder looked disappointed, but the nurse continued, "But, Mr. Mulder, she wanted me to give you this," She handed him the diary.
He took it, letting go of Scully and getting up. He held on to it like it was the most important document he'd seen. He nodded and headed toward the door when the nurse called out again, "The last page is in my handwriting. She was too weak and she had me write down what she said," The nurse seemed to miss Scully too. Mulder nodded again, "thank you very much."
With on last look at Scully, peacefully resting, he turned and left the room. He wasn't sure if he was ready to read the diary yet, but until he did he would continue what she helped him start; the fight of the future.
FINISHED