I know that I tore them apart. I know that I can never live up to her – I can never be as great as her. I know how much better she is. I know how she's my replacement. I know that Nick once left me only so that he could have a chance with her. I know how much prettier she is. I know how innocent she is. I even know that saying I know all of this shows exactly how jealous I am. I know.
Selena Gomez. The perfect girl. The reason of every single insecurity I have.
I first saw her when I visited the set of Camp Rock. I came running through the airport into all the brother's open arms as they gave me a group hug. Nick picked me up, spinning me around in a circle a couple times before he put me down.
The minute I got to the set she was talking and laughing with Demi. I'd known about Demi, though. She had seemed nice enough from what I had heard. She was pretty – not gorgeous, but fame worthy – and she was keeping my boys entertained. I liked her already from that.
I was not, however, expecting the supermodel sitting beside her. The light reflected off of her full lips, the straight black hair laying perfectly on her back. I didn't recognize her white graphic blouse or where it came from, but she was wearing that along with purple skinny jeans, and topped it off with converse. It was an outfit I knew I could never pull off. No matter how hard I tried.
Nick nudged me, "Why are you staring?"
"She's beautiful," I answered.
"Selena?" I nodded. "Nah. You're beautiful, Mi. She's pretty."
"No. She's beautiful."
After that I found out that she was Demi's best friend. Apparently she came around a lot. No one had ever really mentioned her to me, though. Demi I'd heard everything about. What she looked like, her sense of humor, what her plans for that day were. Even what she ate for breakfast every now and then. I knew that her favorite color was yellow, and Nick said that reminded him of me. I knew that her voice was the best range that Joe had ever heard in his life. And I knew that she came crying to Kevin last month because her and her boyfriend were officially , I'd never met her.
Selena, the prettiest person I'd ever seen without trying to be, was a different story. Apparently she's been out for a week and a half too, but no one told me a new person had even arrived. By the way they all gave her hugs it was obvious they knew her well. So how come I didn't even know a girl named Selena existed until now?
When they noticed me they both looked at each other with smirks.
"Nick's told us so much about you," Selena held out her hand. "I'm Selena. This is Demi."
"I've heard a lot about you too," I lied, holding on a smile that only the three best-friends beside me could tell was fake.
They both smiled back. Even Selena's teeth were perfect. They were straight, they were white, and the way she smiled would look great on a blown up poster.
"I'm just gonna go... talk to Nick," I turned around, grabbing his arm. "C'mon, Nick."
He obeyed, but just by the way he walked I could tell that he had no idea what he had done. I sat him down in a chair that was in the next room over, sitting myself beside him.
"I don't know how to say this, so I'm just gonna blurt it out," I had said. "Did you do anything with her?"
"Why would you ask that?"
"I just have a feeling, Nick."
Silence.
"Did anything happen?"
He stared at me for awhile before he answered.
"Yeah."
--------------------------------------
It was a year later. After a charity concert. At the time I really didn't care the name. My life was such a blur anyways, what was the point in caring about anything? I was crying alone in my dressing room. It was another performance with the boys and all I knew for sure now was that the Jonas' officially hated me.
I was sobbing, waiting for my mom to get done mingling with Denise, and on the verge of loosing it. I hated life. Fans were turning their backs, slowly but surely, friends were leaving my side when they had to choose a team, and every single person that I trusted was no long here.
Great.
Then, she knocked on my door. I automatically told my mom to hold on. It was then that she told me that it was not my mom.
"In that case, you really have to hold on," I laughed harshly. I didn't like this girl at all, and today was not the day that she should have decided to mess with me. I didn't want to fight with anyone, especially not her. It was her fault that I had lost everything.
I quickly applied my makeup back on, wiping off the smudges and counting to ten. I decided to blame the redness of both my eyes and face on the heat and lighting of the stage.
"Yes?" I opened the door, plastering on a fake smile. She came in, signaling for me to shut the door. "Sure, come right in. I wasn't doing anything."
She stayed silent, looking down until the door clicked shut. Then she looked up, and her eyes that were sparkling before slowly turned to hurting. "Why do you hate me?" she said quietly.
It took a moment for me to grasp what she had said but when I did I didn't know what to reply. Yeah, I did pretty much hate her, but I couldn't just tell her that. After all, I didn't even have a decent answer to her question.
"I mean, I know what Selena did to you, and I know that it was wrong. And I know what the Jonas' did to you. I know that was wrong too. But I'm not them. I never did anything to you and... why do you hate me? I just want to know if I did something wrong or to offend you – and if I did I can confirm now that I didn't mean it," she stopped her ranting for a second.
"Who ever said I hated you?" I asked her softly. My voice suddenly disappeared.
"It's kinda obvious." She was completely positive.
"I'm sorry," I apologized sheepishly. Truth be told; I was just embarrassed that I was caught. I thought that I was a good actress.
She pursed her lips, shaking her head, "I don't want you to apologize. I just – what did I do?"
"Nothing," I faced down, ashamed.
"Then why -"
"You're just part of the package, okay?"
She closed her eyes, and I wasn't sure if she was trying to hold back anger or tears. "I shouldn't be. I didn't do anything. I'm not my friends, and I'm not on a side or part of any package."
I nodded. "Okay."
She started to walk out, but before she reached the door I stopped her. "Demi?" she turned around to look at me, no sign of dislike to be shown still. "I'm sorry... And I don't hate you. And I shouldn't have categorized you to be like them so quickly."
She nodded. "It's whatever. Happens a ton."
------------------------
A few nights later at a party, we somehow left as friends, even. I caught her at a moment of weakness, and to pay her back for being such a bitch I decided maybe it wouldn't kill me to see exactly what this Demi girl was like. She slept over at my house because she didn't feel like explaining to her mom why she wasn't sleeping over at who I assumed to be Selena's. I guess she was in a huge fight or something. We talked a bit, and after that managed to keep in contact.
Usually once a week there was a phone call or two, and we would be texting at least once a day.
But we didn't become best friends until she got into an even bigger fight with Selena.
"She's my best friend! She should be able to balance it all out between her stupid boyfriend," she had yelled. "If she has enough time for Nick she should be able to make time for me! I've always made time for her, and now it's like she's totally cutting me out."
I simply held her, letting her cry in my arms. I'd never been to her house before today, and had to admit it was nice. I loved her room.
Suddenly her phone rang, however, and she struggled to pull it out of her pocket. She didn't bother to look at the caller I.D. before answering, but once I heard her strained voice I wish she would've.
"No, I didn-"
There was silence as the other person must have spoke.
"This isn't my fault! I didn't do any-"
I couldn't help myself. She was getting worked up again and I was done with it. I pulled the phone out of her hands, putting it up to my own ear.
"Listen, this is a bitch free zone. So leave Demi the fuck alone, and stop treating her like shit. Got it? Good. Depending who you are maybe I'll talk to you again sometime," I hung up quickly watching as Demi giggled. "So, uh, who exactly did I just cuss out?"
"Nick Jonas and Selena."
"Oh," I laughed. "In that case, Bonus Points for Miley."
"I want Bonus Points! It was my phone!" she smiled along with me now.
And I didn't mean to actually like Demi when we first began to talk, but she had that vibe to her that made everyone feel so comfortable. Along the lines she became my best friend.
Then, after that, we started to talk at events too.
"MILEY!" Demi screamed as I walked in. She ran up to me.
"DEMI!" I yelled back giggling, giving her a hug. "Take a chill pill.
"Fine, next time I'll ignore your presence," she grumbled. "Then, when you want to talk to me, I won't reply. And I'll get Bonus Points for that."
"No, you'll lose Bonus Points, because you wouldn't be talking to the creator," I stuck my tongue out at her, digging into my bag and gulping down my water bottle. "You know the Jonas' are glaring at you, right?"
"Screw them then. I have friends, they can get the hell over it," she smiled politely. That second I felt on top of the world. Sure, maybe I lost Nick, and he ditched me for Selena, but at least I gained this amazing best friend.
I giggled. "You can really go talk to them if you want. Honestly, I'd totally understand."
"Too bad, because I want to talk to you," she said slowly.
"I say after sound check we go to McDonalds!" I exclaimed. She looked at me confused. I pulled her in whispering in her ear. "I get cravings when I'm on my period."
She burst out laughing as I put my hands up defensively. "Okay," she spluttered out. "but I say that this is just some way for you to get fast food whenever you want."
"Whatever. Either way we're going to McDonalds."
She nodded, understanding. "Well hurry up and sing so I can get a milkshake."
"You did your soundcheck?"
She ruffled my hair playfully. "You're late, remember?"
"Right, right," I grinned, running off to quickly rehearse.
She came up during our conversation that day too. I tried to be nonchalant about it in the way I asked how she was, but it was definitely hard. Demi knew that I had an intense dislike for her and the rest of the Jonas'. But I was honestly curious. Her and Selena weren't doing too well lately. I felt terrible for Demi, it was hard losing a best-friend. I would know...
"How are you and Selena doing?" I had blurt out.
Demi stared at me for awhile before her face fell. "We haven't talked in over two months."
On the outside I shot her a sympathetic look but on the inside I was glowing with happiness. If nothing else happened to her, she still lost Demi. Her best-friend for ten years, and she just decided to practically give her up. I decided that I was definitely getting closer to being even with her. Don't get me wrong, I felt terrible. But at the same time I knew that she deserved it.
But still, I wanted to destroy her. Crush her. Hurt her.
Yes, I was without-a-doubt, completely jealous of her. But she had everything.
She still does have everything.
Or at least everything I want.
And yes, I'm jealous.
And, sure, maybe the best way isn't to fight fire with fire... But it's the only thing I can do now. She made me lose everything I had ever gained. She made me lose everything that I had from the start. And she left me with nothing except my family - the same people that had no choice but to stay.
Well, Karma is a bitch... and so is she.
I'm her Karma, and eventually, I will take her down.
One. By. One.
She'll see the other side.
Whoa? A oneshot!? it's only been like a year :P hahahah. I dunno if this was really that good. I think it could definitely be better but i had to post SOMETHING today! haha. so, can yaa maybeee, review?
& thank you guys soooo much for the NJK award nominations! I can't even tell you how stoked i am. that's craazzyyy! I mean, someone nominated me for the to be added to the authors Hall of Fame. seriously? that's insane. thanks so much for the nominations for We Meet Again & Sometimes Life Happens too. they both mean soo much :)
Review?(: