i.
Amy cleared her throat, fingering her shirt collar nervously. "Okay, everybody, I have an announcement –"
"You're dating Peralta?"
The interjection came from both Gina and Terry, who were engaged in an intense game of hacky sack.
"I – wait, how did you know?"
"We're not idiots. Also, you two are holding hands."
Scully snored in the corner.
ii.
The funny thing is, they didn't have to act that differently once they officially started dating. It still took some people – Scully and Hitchcock, unsurprisingly - a while to figure it out.
"Jake and the Latina girl are dating?" said Scully through a mouthful of egg salad.
The briefing room went silent.
"We've been dating for six months, Scully," Amy retorted, with an exaggerated eye roll. "We've kissed in front of you."
"We've also done a lot more than that, I might add," said Jake. "Well, not in front of you. But never say never."
There was a collective groan throughout the room.
"You two were slightly less disgusting before you were dating," scoffed Rosa. "How long until you break up?"
"Sooner than you think," Amy muttered, glaring at Jake's upraised hand.
"Come on, Santiago. Don't leave me hanging. We have to keep up the image of the cute couple."
"You never had that image." Rosa's feet slammed to the floor. "Captain, can we leave? This is more nauseating than usual."
"I suppose we can't be very productive at this point. Very well. Dismissed – except for you two." Captain Holt motioned to Jake and Amy, who groaned simultaneously.
"Whatever it was, Captain, I'm sure it was Amy's fault," said Jake, wrinkling his nose as Scully and his rancid egg salad shuffled past.
"It's both of your faults, actually." Captain Holt raised an eyebrow. "It has come to my attention that your relationship has been the source of some discomfort throughout the precinct."
"I know that my suave ability to date hot ladies is impressive, but that's no need to use big words like 'discomfort'," said Jake, punctuating his remark with a kiss on Amy's cheek.
"Sir, you should know that I am never the instigator of romantic acts in the office," Amy sputtered. Jake's arm began to sneak around her shoulders and she offered him a warning glare.
"Sir, would you squelch young love?" Jake lamented. He dropped to his knees with a sickening crack. "Okay, these floors are a lot harder than I expected. Anyway, you may take our lives, but you may never take our freedom -"
"Braveheart. What an astonishingly emotional film," Captain Holt deadpanned. "All I wanted to say was to make sure that your romantic involvement continues to not interfere with your own work, and the work of others."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
iii.
"Okay, I'll take the right, you take the left."
"Will you marry me?"
Amy spun around, gun still in hand, to see her boyfriend of ten months on one knee. He was still wearing his ridiculous camouflage-print bulletproof vest. ("Why does it need to be camouflage, Jake? Who is that fooling?")
Amy gaped. "You're asking me now? We're about to bust some drug dealers, you realize!"
"Yeah, but I just thought it would be really hot if me and my future wife kicked down a door together. Who knows when we'll get another chance?"
"You're such an idiot," she laughed, her eyes dancing with sudden tears. "But yes, I'll marry you."
"Probably a terrible decision," Jake retorted. Amy grabbed him by his hideous vest and pulled him into a kiss.
iv.
Amy wanted to wait to tell everybody. It was bad luck to announce a pregnancy within the first trimester, or at least that's what her mother always told her.
"But I want to tell people!" Jake whined, placing his hands on her waist. "This is the best thing that's ever happened to me and I can't even tell Charles?"
"You don't have to wait that long, Peralta." She paused. "The best thing that's ever happened to you? What about marrying me, huh?"
Jake feigned deep thought. "Nope, definitely the baby. My future partner in crime." He leaned down to put an ear to his wife's stomach. "What do you say, little guy? Do you want to shoot bad guys together?"
"The baby doesn't develop ears until the second trimester, Jakey," Amy said with mock exasperation.
"You've got to stop reading all of those mommy books, or else our kid will turn out to be a nerd," said Jake, patting her stomach fondly. "I can't think of anything worse, at this point."
Amy rolled her eyes. "You're lucky I love you."
Jake smiled. "I know."
v.
Amy went into labor at the station.
She was sitting (due to Jake's insistence) in her horribly uncomfortable desk chair when she felt a huge surge of pressure in her lower abdomen. She had been feeling little contractions for a couple of days, but the intensity of this one was alarming.
"Amy? Are you okay?" It was Boyle, who was on 'Amy-watch' whenever Jake went out on a case. She nodded, taking a deep breath as she gripped the edge of her chair.
"You know, I printed out this helpful guide on how to pre-stretch your cervix –"
"CHARLES."
"Yes?"
"Just…don't, okay?"
Charles stuffed the offending pamphlet into his back pocket, looking concerned. "Are you sure you're alright? I can call Jake –"
"No, no, there's no reason. It was just one big contraction. Labor – if that's what this is – takes a long time, you know."
"I don't know, actually. I am very much womanless and uninformed."
For the next hour, Amy verbally assaulted anyone who took out their phone, paranoid that one of them would try to contact Jake. "This is nothing," she muttered, knuckles white against her armrest. "I am very much capable of withstanding a few contractions without him."
"Okay, this is ridiculous." Rosa pulled out her phone, staring down a flustered Amy as she began dialing Jake's number. "What are you going to do about it?"
"When this contraction is over, you're so dead," said Amy through gritted teeth.
"Uh, yeah, Jake? Your wife's in labor. Get your ass down here."
vi.
Lucas Eduardo Peralta was first introduced to the precinct via Skype, a few hours after his birth. Jake's excitement was infectious, and even Rosa couldn't avoid a smile as the new father's face filled up the projection screen.
"Look at my baby!" He stood slightly so the bundle in his arms was more visible. He gently lifted one of the baby's small arms from the confines of the blanket and waved it towards the webcam.
"How's the missus?" asked Hitchcock, dabbing his eyes with a handkerchief.
"She's kickass. She's also sleeping. This little guy didn't really want to cooperate when she was doing the whole pushing thing."
"I guess that really is your kid, then," Rosa murmured.
"Congratulations, you two," said Holt, whose mouth was upturned in a rare smile. "It's about time."
"'It's About Time'. Title of our sex tape."
Thanks for reading! I just recently got into Brooklyn 99 and I'm obsessed. Reviews are much appreciated.