A/n: I always felt that Megidramon transformation had such angst potential, so here it is! Some of the babbling might not seem to connect, but that's 'cause Takato's thoughts are chaotic and therefore are not supposed to be very lucid. Er… well that's my excuse anyway, hehe. If you like, leave a comment!
For dub watchers: Henry = Jenry, Rika = Ruki
There was an awful, cracking sound, and the sign on Megidramon's chest broke. The crimson dragon fell backwards, landing with a loud crash that sent up fumes of dust and shrapnel. For a moment, Beelzebumon just stood there, almost as if he were unable to believe he had beaten the Hazard dragon, and then he threw back his head and laughed. The fallen digimon cackled wildly, his whole body shaking with glee. He had won.
Takato stumbled, his mouth dry. He felt the last remnants of the immense hatred and bloodlust recede from the corners of his conscious. They had… lost? He almost couldn't believe it.
Couldn't believe that the murderer of Leomon had escaped justice. Couldn't believe that the terrifying power of Megidramon was something that could be beaten. Worse, he felt relieved.
Relieved that the horrifying digimon he had created was stopped. Relieved that they would all be killed by someone whom they knew to be a demon, and not someone whom Takato had forced to become one. Relieved that the responsibility wouldn't be his. Relieved that he wouldn't have to face Megidramon.
And he hated himself for it.
What Tamer was supposed to feel that their digimon had lost, that their partner was about to die? No wonder Takato had lost his digivice, lost his proof as a Tamer. It had shattered when he forced Guilmon to go through an evolution that should have never been. He simply wasn't… worthy to be a Tamer any longer.
Yeah, that's right, unworthy. But if he wasn't a Tamer, then what was he? His whole value in being here, in coming to the digital world, was that he was one of the only four Tamers in Japan at that time. If he wasn't a Tamer… then what was he?
Takato turned to Juri, not really sure what else to do. She always seemed to be there for him when he was feeling the most confused, the most grieved. He knew it was wrong to depend on her like this, especially after what happened to Leomon, but he couldn't help it. Juri was the one who had always stuck through him, always supported him, always helped him out… "Katou-san-"
The look in her eyes stopped him from talking. Sorrow, disgust, fear, and most of all… reproach. Seeming to know what he saw in her eyes, she closed them, but the damage had already been done. Takato stood, frozen, as Juri stepped back, tears peeking through her closed lids.
"Stop… stop this already." Her voice hitched, but it didn't take away any of the purpose from her tone, "This is…"
Takato bit his lip and took a step towards her, burgundy eyes desperate. If even she couldn't— if even Juri couldn't forgive him— "I didn't want this fight."
"Stay away!" She screamed at him, and Takato halted, suddenly unsure. Juri let out a small sob, her voice accusing, "Look at Guilmon-chan. Guilmon-chan was so nice…"
Guilmon… she couldn't possibly mean…? Takato turned his head, slowly, almost ashamedly, and looked towards where Megidramon had landed. The dust had cleared, revealing the strangled position Megidramon was in. The crimson dragon's face was twisted in pain, eyes squeezed tightly shut. His claws still extended towards the sky, as if he were grasping for something just outside of his reach. The Hazard dragon looked… wretched.
Takato felt his heart give a beat.
It didn't look like the terror inspiring dragon that even had its Tamer quaking in his shoes. Didn't look like the creature that's very existence seemed to bring about the destruction of the digital world. It reminded him, strangely of…
Before he knew what he was doing, Takato had already hopped over the crevice separating him from his digimon, and knelt down beside of Megidramon's head. From this close, he could see the wrinkles of pain that lined Megidramon's face, could feel the heat coming off of the dragon's skin. Hesitantly, Takato put a hand on Megidramon's face, and felt soft leathery skin.
This was… this wasn't the body of an entity as he had feared. This was just a digimon, an Ultimate digimon.
Takato felt shame flood through him, his throat closing up. Megidramon looked scary, certainly, but it was also a virus and virus digimon were supposed to look scary weren't they? Besides, Ryo's Cyberdramon was just as terrifying, but the Legendary Tamer wasn't afraid in the least. Why couldn't Takato see…?
He had been so stupid, so blinded by his fear. Hadn't he already promised that he wouldn't fear Guilmon anymore when Guilmon had evolved to Growlmon? Hadn't Takato made the resolution to fight with Guilmon always and never be afraid of him again?
Hadn't Takato decided that whatever Guilmon's new forms were, no matter what evolutions Guilmon took, Takato wouldn't shed away from it? Hadn't Takato told Guilmon that he would be with him forever?
And then Megidramon had come along.
Megidramon had made Takato forget all about his resolutions, his promises to fight along with his partner. Megidramon's form had caused Takato to freeze up, too scared of his digimon to be of any help.
He had forgotten the most essential thing, the thing that he never could seem to remember. How many times did Takato have to learn this lesson before he finally got it?! How many times did he have to hurt Guilmon before Takato finally remembered… remembered that no matter what form Guilmon took, Guilmon was still Guilmon.
But Takato had forgotten it, just like in Growlmon's battle with Devidramon, Guilmon's first evolution.
The brown haired boy leant forwards, his forehead resting directly above Megidramon's eye. Tears prickled at the edge of his vision, but Takato quickly forced them down. He didn't deserve to cry, not after what he did.
Why was Takato always the weak one, the one pulling down the team? He had done nothing during that battle, just as he had done nothing during this one. If Guilmon had a partner like Ruki or Jenrya, then Takato was certain that Guilmon would have never lost. Why did Guilmon have a useless partner like him? Guilmon deserved much better.
Deserved better than a Tamer who deserted him again and again, deserved better than a Tamer who feared him.
Takato drew in a deep breath, his whole body shaking. He had abandoned Guilmon when Guilmon had most needed him.
No wonder his digivice had broke.
Takato squeezed his eyes shut, clutching onto the crimson dragon's armor. "Guilmon… no, Megidramon. I'm… sorry…"
Guilmon was his creation, his responsibility, his partner. Guilmon was an innocent child, a kid who didn't know right from wrong. If Megidramon was malevolent, it was only because Takato hadn't taught him what being kind meant.
"Takato… let's play…"
That's right, Guilmon didn't like to fight. Guilmon only wanted to play, only wanted to goof off. An image of a red dinosaur flashed through Takato's mind, grinning stupidly and waving his arms wildly. Guilmon only ever wanted to have fun.
"Magic? Guilmon doesn't know, but if Takato is happy, Guilmon is happy too!"
And not only have fun, but for Takato to have fun too. Guilmon was selfless; he only wanted Takato to be happy, for Takato to not be angry. If Guilmon had to sacrifice his own arm for a smile from Takato, the brown haired boy had no doubt that the digimon would do it. Guilmon was like that.
"Takato… is not mad at Guilmon?"
Because of course, at the brink of death, only Guilmon would be thinking about offending Takato. Why was Guilmon fighting? Oh yeah, to protect his stupid Tamer's home.
"Takato wants Guilmon to become stronger, right? Takato want Guilmon to evolve more, right? Then… Guilmon will become stronger and evolve!"
Kill, kill, kill, those were the instincts of a digimon. But that wasn't why Guilmon killed. Oh sure, Guilmon was as guilty as any digimon about destroying and loading their opponents, but wasn't the reason Guilmon always tried so hard to find opponents because of Takato? Wasn't the reason Guilmon had evolved because of Takato?!
"Why? Shouldn't I evolve and change? Didn't Takato want that before?"
So why did Takato fear Guilmon every time he changed his form? Why did Takato find that he was scared of his partner every time Guilmon evolved? Why was he so fickle; why could he never be pleased? Takato had always wanted Guilmon to get stronger, yet at the same time was afraid of it happening. Yet, he never explained such things to Guilmon. Guilmon must have been confused…
"Hehe, it's okay. Nobody is perfect. Montanmai, Montanmai!"
But Guilmon always forgave, didn't he? Guilmon never held a grudge. Even though… even though Takato had wronged him so many times, Guilmon still didn't care. No… it wasn't that Guilmon didn't care- it was that he cared too much about Takato to let such a thing get in between them.
"Guilmon bread! Guilmon bread! I'll eat Guilmon bread!"
The sweet, innocent Guilmon…
"Growlmon scared you… when fighting? Guilmon doesn't want to scare Takato…"
The kind, thoughtful Guilmon…
…but isn't he just data?
NO!
Guilmon wasn't just data, he couldn't be. It was stupid of Takato to think of it like that. Why oh why had he thought of it just like that? Why had he let such a stupid comment from a complete stranger unravel his relationship with Guilmon? Why had he taken it in such a way?
It was true… it was true that Takato wished for Guilmon, and that the digi-gnomes granted that wish. It was true that at first, when Takato had scanned his paper pad through his D-Ark, that the concept of a 'guilmon' had just been data. But…
But when Guilmon had actually been born, had actually materialized into the Real World, he had exceeded Takato's expectations. He wasn't anything like Takato had imagined, and if Guilmon was just some data that Takato created, then there was no way Guilmon could have such a distinct personality of his own.
Besides… besides… in the digital world, wasn't Takato himself just data? Wasn't he and the rest of his friends just a bunch of computer particles floating around in the network? What was reality, and what was data? There was no difference really.
And even if… even if they were all just data, the time they spent together was still real. Guilmon was just as real as any of his friends were, just as real as his mother or father. Data, human, who cared? At the end of the day, as long as they existed, they were reality.
Why hadn't Takato seen that sooner?
But now, it was too late. Takato clenched his eyes shut, his hands fisting over the Ultimate dragon's skin. Now, Megidramon was defeated. Now, Megidramon was dead. Now, because of Takato's stupid mistakes, Guilmon was…!
"Tamer… Tamer, I did my best. Tamer, let me fight more. Growlmon hasn't given up yet. Growlmon will fight more… I want to fight more Takato! More, more… let Growlmon fight! Takato… you're Growlmon's… Tamer, right?"
…that's right. That's right!
"That's right," Takato repeated, slowly opening his eyes and looking at his digimon determinedly, "I was your Tamer. Despite everything, despite however much more you deserve, I was chosen to be your Tamer. Except I… I didn't do a very good job, did I? I'll be honest, you scared me, but a lot of things scare me. It's just 'cause I'm a 'fraidy cat. You're still the same, aren't you? You just wanted to protect us, didn't you? I shouldn't have- I'm such an idiot! You… I… I'm sorry. Megidramon… Guilmon… please give me one more chance!"
There was a brilliant flash of light, a light so bright that for a moment Takato thought he had gone blind. Blinking, Takato sat back, raising his head towards the source.
There, almost directly above him, was a shining golden sphere, radiating light like a miniature sun. Slowly, it descended towards Takato, the light dimming until finally, the shape of the device could be made out.
Trembling, Takato raised his hands, putting them together in a cupping gesture. The new digivice –golden with black and red inscriptions- fell softly into his hands, fitting into his palm as if it had always been there. This was… this was… Takato closed his eyes and bowed his head, pulling the new digivice close to his heart. Thank you, Megidramon.
Beelzebumon snarled, raising his gun and cocking the barrel, "What's with the light show, kid? You just don't know when to give up, do you? Well, well, I guess I'll finish you off before going after your friends."
Takato didn't care, not even when he heard the distinctive sound of gunfire as Beelzebumon released his bullets. Not even when the cries of his friends to just run away reached him. Takato only had one thought on his mind.
Megidramon, let's… fight again. This time… this time I won't hold anything back. Together… let's try again.
He didn't exactly see what happened, but he somehow knew that a golden light had encompassed Megidramon, glowing faintly before seeping into the wounded digimon's skin. Or maybe that was just in his imagination, but Takato somehow knew that Megidramon would be alright, now. This time, Takato would give his partner his own strength.
Takato smiled, opening his eyes, just as Beelzebumon's attack reached them.
Megidramon's eyes snapped open, the irises flashing red. Like a whip, his tail snapped up, destroying the bullets. With a growl, Megidramon started to rise again, his tail acting as a curling spring. (1)
"What?" Beelzebumon's eyes narrowed, his body tensing like a wire string. Then, suddenly, he relaxed, a smirk spreading across his face and his expression turning almost cat-like in its smugness. "Well it doesn't matter, it'll just be the same conclusion as last time."
"Wrong."
Just then, Megidramon lunged, no longer able to keep his bloodlust at bay. The crimson dragon fell upon Beelzebumon, his jaw stretched open as far as it was able. Beelzebumon easily caught the virus digimon, but instead of dealing with it like last time, he turned towards Takato with a sneer, "Wrong? Looks to me like no matter how many times you revive this beast, I can still beat it back to the ground."
Takato shook his head, pushing himself slowly off the ground. Megidramon thrashed against the demon digimon, but Beelzebumon easily kept the dragon in a stalemate. Takato looked towards the Ultimate that used to be Impmon, something akin to pity in his eyes. "Wrong. Last time, Megidramon didn't have his Tamer to back him up, because his Tamer was too weak and stupid. This time, although his Tamer is still weak and stupid, Megidramon will have his power. You'll see… that the power of partners isn't something to laugh at."
But Beelzebumon did laugh. He laughed like he had never heard anything so funny in his life, even as Megidramon's tail struck continuously at his sides. "Y-you think that you joining in this fight will make a difference. Ha… ha… I'm the strongest digimon on earth! Who're you trying to kid?!"
"This is your last chance," Takato said sadly, "Impmon you—"
"I'm not Impmon!" The leather clad digimon shrieked, "And if I have to load your digimon to prove it, I will! Arrrrrggg!"
Beelzebumon brought up his right hand, claws glowing a dark silver. He was readying his final attack, the one that would destroy Megidramon if given the chance. But Takato was faster. He brought up his golden digivice and slashed the digimon card through his new D-Ark, channeling all his power to it— to Megidramon.
"Card Slash!" This was it; this was what he had to do. Anything was possible, anything was possible. The cards themselves were only a way for the Tamers to visualize what they wanted to happen to their digimon, so… so… "King's Device!"
It had to work, it had to, it had to! He wanted it with all his will, willed it with all his desire. He needed…
"Cards are only a Tamer's physical way to channel their power to their digimon, but in actuality the ability itself is a mental process. A D-Ark is a device that helps channel the power, but if you're a skilled enough Tamer then you wouldn't need a digivice. With the knowledge of the cards, a Tamer can slash a card (which is the result they want), through the digivice (which converts their desire into reality), and the digimon the energy is directed at will receive the benefits. Technically, you don't even need a digivice, but channeling energy directly is dangerous.
"The information depicted on the cards helps the Tamer visualize what needs to be done, but the card itself is just a piece of paper. Still, they help limits the amount of power given to the digimon so it doesn't strain the Tamer since the boundaries of the cards are something well understood by everyone who plays digimon. For example, I could probably give Terriermon a huge boost in strength, speed, and firepower at the same time, but doing so would probably put me in a coma. It's better to strategize and pace yourself, so that you don't end up fainting. Get it now, Takato?"
Megidramon roared, his body glowing a baby blue. Takato fell to his knees yet again, his energy depleted, but he was smiling nonetheless. It had worked.
Beelzebumon's eyes widened as his hold on the crimson dragon slackened, and Megidramon bulged under his grasp. Suddenly the virus digimon started growing… growing… growing… Beelzebumon faltered, forced to let go as he stumbled backwards.
"Th…this power," He mumbled, his eyes shaking with what Takato didn't know. "Unbeliev—"
Megidramon didn't give him a chance to finish. The hazard dragon slammed his tail down, the spikes at the end of it glinting in the menacing light. Before Beelzebumon knew it, the barbed tail had sliced him in half, splitting him through the middle head to bottom. Beelzebumon's mouth was open in a silent scream, but the sound had not had the time to make it through yet. And then that too disappeared, as the demon digimon's head dissolved into data.
Takato winced, and turned his face away. He hadn't wanted to see the leather clad Ultimate's violent demise, especially not like that. He suspected he would have nightmares about it for months to come. Out of the corner or his eye, he noticed that Megidramon had shrunk back to his normal size—which wasn't small to begin with—and started to absorb Beelzebumon's data. He wanted to tell the dragon to stop, but felt that as soon as he opened his mouth he'd empty the entire contents of his stomach.
Gulping, Takato instead looked towards the faces of his fellow Tamers, his friends. He was almost afraid of what he would see. Lee Jenrya was holding Suichon close, so many emotions flashing across his face that Takato couldn't make sense of them. Kazu and Kenta were looking at him with expressions of support and cheer, though Takato did notice the faint fear lurking behind their eyes. Juri… well, did Takato even have to look at Juri to know what she was thinking?
Surprisingly, it was Ruki who seemed the most unfazed by what had transpired. Or perhaps unfazed wasn't the right word for it. Worry lined every inch of her face, concern coloring her eyes. Takato almost laughed, but he couldn't laugh in a situation like this; he had never seen Ruki with such a feminine expression before.
She took a step towards him.
And then the world exploded.
Megidramon let out a roar that shook the heavens, making Takato whip his head around so fast that his neck actually protested. The reptilian eyes of the crimson dragon seemed to glow, and plates of violet armor were curling around the virus's body. He had finished absorbing Beelzebumon, and he had gained something from it. After all, without his Tamer's help, Beelzebumon was stronger than Megidramon wasn't he? Now… did Megidramon have enough power to challenge the gods?
Takato gulped, the old feeling of fear and doubt creeping up on him again. This was… his digimon? His Guilmon?
But of course it was! Takato had already reached that conclusion, paid the consequences of his doubt, and got a new digivice as a reminder of the promise he had made. Megidramon was his partner, and that was that. No matter how scary the dragon looked, no matter how violent he could get, inside Megidramon was still Guilmon.
And then Megidramon turned on Takato's friends, and bellowed.
Hot air blew through the Tamer group, making Ruki's hair ruffle and Terriermon's ears fly up. Megidramon's barbed tail flashed through the air, aiming directly for Ruki. There was a flash of yellow, and a loud, cracking sound. Megidramon's tail had penetrated the red tiled floor, and Ruki lay just a few centimeters from the impact. She was panting harshly, her eyes dilated in fear, Renamon on top of her, having just pushed them both out of the way.
"What?" Takato staggered to his feet, unable to believe what he was seeing. Why was Megidramon attacking his friends, why was the dragon trying to eat the humans? "Why…?"
Because Megidramon's very nature demanded destruction, that's why. Takato had forgotten it in the heat of battle, but now, suddenly, he got his rude awakening.
Before he knew it he was running, running towards the source of all this. Megidramon let out a deep throaty rumble, and wrenched his tail from the ground. The golden barb lifted again, glinting dully in the dim lighting. He prepared to strike it down again, destroy Ruki and Renamon like he had destroyed Beelzebumon. And this time, the two females wouldn't be able to get out of the way.
Takato ran faster. He needed to… he had to… GET THERE!
The barbed tail plunged downwards… and stopped an inch from Takato's forehead. Takato was standing in front of Ruki and Renamon, his air coming in huge gulps. He had made it.
Slowly, ever so slowly, the tail retracted, curling back onto the ground. Takato could feel Ruki's and Renamon's pants behind him, and he felt more than saw Renamon stumble to her feet and drag Ruki away. Megidramon let out a low growl, his eyes zeroing in on something beyond Takato, and Takato instantly knew that Megidramon was going to attack his friends again.
Takato lifted his arms, stretching his hands to each side of him as if his little body could stop the powerful dragon from advancing. He swallowed, and then put all his determination, strength, and command into one single word. "STOP!"
Surprisingly, the dragon did stop. Megidramon's attention shifted away from what was behind Takato, and instead rested on him.
Takato stared into the Ultimate's eyes, and felt yet another stab of fear pulse through him. Reptilian eyes narrowed and Megidramon gave another low growl, his tail beating impatiently against the red tiles. People were yelling at Takato to move, to get away, but he couldn't. Megidramon's gaze had captured him.
He could feel the rage, anger, the need to destroy. He had never felt so violent in his life, never felt the need to obliterate everything around him as he did then. Never felt so… destructive.
Destructive in a way that wasn't human, wasn't even monstrous. It was simply a need to… annihilate. No pleasure, no pain, just a white hot anger that clouded all his thoughts, all his emotions. There was no distinction between friends or enemies in that anger, no distinctions between living and non-living things even.
Takato swallowed.
It wasn't… wasn't what he wanted, wasn't what he envisioned.
…but that was a lie wasn't it?
He had wanted Beelzebumon to feel terror like he never had felt before, to experience never-ending pain, to wish that he had never met them. He had wanted revenge, wanted justice, for Leomon's death and Juri's despair. And what better digimon to do it other than the very dragon that thrived in people's nightmares?
Megidramon was Takato's fault, and Takato's fault alone, he had to acknowledge that. The virus dragon was Takato's responsibility.
So it wouldn't be fair to destroy him, to terminate Megidramon because of his potential for evil. Takato was a Tamer wasn't he? He had to tame the virus, no matter how daunting a task it sounded. Besides, there was still Guilmon in there, and Takato didn't think he could bear Guilmon dying, especially not by his hand.
So… Takato relaxed his arms and instead stretched them out towards Megidramon, his position shifting from defensive to what might have been a hug. "Let's… go."
Megidramon roared, howling to the heavens as his tail lashed out once again. It wrapped around Takato like a constrictor, and lifted him from the ground. Red and black wings flared out, and Megidramon lifted from the sky. Takato heard his friends calling his name, but he didn't dare reply.
As Megidramon ascended, hanging for a moment in the air like a dark deity calling judgment, Takato looked one last time at his friends. Juri wasn't even looking at him, but he had expected that. Kenta was shaking his head in denial, anxiety written plainly across his features. Kazu was touchingly trying to get his digital partner to rescue Takato, gesturing wildly towards the red and black dragon. Thankfully, the former Andromon had more sense than that and wasn't moving an inch.
Ruki had her fists clenched, her head shaking in denial as she looked almost pleadingly at Takato. He thought he might have imagined it, but he could have sworn he'd seen a glint of tears in Ruki's eyes. Was she worried about Renamon? Perhaps he should have dropped off some sort of Heal card with her. But if he had done that, Takato might have inadvertently drawn Megidramon's attention to Ruki, and the consequences of that would have been disastrous.
Jenyra said nothing, but the look on his face spoke louder than any of the shouts the others were making. He looked sad, conflicted, but also… understanding. Seeing Takato glance in their direction, Jenrya nodded, mouthing the words 'be careful'. He knew what Takato was planning to do— no, had to do. And he accepted it. Takato couldn't help but he touched. Leave it to Jenrya to truly understand the situation.
And then they were gone. The small glimpse of his friends vanished the instant Megidramon flapped his bat-like wings yet again, and rose above the clouds. The crimson dragon let out a flume of fire, roaring in either delight or hunger as his wings beat faster. Takato felt the heat on his face and felt uncomfortable, but it was hardly like he could do anything about it. Instead, Takato allowed his thoughts to wander as Megidramon started flying towards an unseen destination. (2)
How in the world was he going to train the Ultimate dragon? He was a Tamer sure, but not nearly as good as Jenrya or Ruki. Otherwise, how could he have evolved Guilmon so wrongly?
Perhaps he should ask help from Ryo? Obviously, Ryo had to know a lot about taming untamable digimon, or else Ryo wouldn't be the Legendary Tamer. Plus, Ryo's Cyberdramon was a piece of work, and Ryo had to know a lot about handling difficult digimon. Still, Cyberdramon was at least only a Perfect, whereas Megidramon…
And now that Megidramon had absorbed Beelzebumon's data as well, was Megidramon even considered an Ultimate any longer?
Yes, yes of course he was. Plenty of Ultimate digimon had absorbed each other, and in the end they were still Ultimate digimon weren't they? Takato was ridiculous to think otherwise. But… other digimons' evolutions didn't wreck the digital world, did it?
No, he had to stop this train of thought. Takato couldn't afford to fall into any type of depression, not with the safety of his friends and his partner depending on him. He needed to be optimistic; yeah, that was it. Or how else was Megidramon going to learn that there was more to living than just destroying?
Just then, Takato felt Megidramon's attention shift. Blinking, Takato looked up, and saw that Megidramon's eyes had narrowed to a serpentine yellow. "What…?"
Suddenly, Takato's world swerved, as Megidramon shifted his tail's grip and abruptly turned to the left. Megidramon threw back his head and roared, sending out great billows of flame heavenwards as he sped towards the source which had caught his attention. Really, what…?
And then Takato saw them. There, in the distance, almost so small that Takato couldn't see them. But, Megidramon was gaining on them, and their shapes became clearer.
They were light blue with purple bellies, with a snake-like body and a dragon-like face. A large boney white mask covered the upper part of their faces, with only the yellow hair sticking out. Large red wings extended from their backs, looking bat-like in their appearance. Airdramon. A whole herd of them.
In the digital world, digimon existed to attack and load other digimon, no questions asked, but the Airdramon didn't attack. Almost as if they sensed Megidramon's power, they immediately turned around, their intent clear. They did not wish to get into a fight with the Ultimate dragon.
Megidramon didn't seem to care though. The red dragon almost seemed to fly faster, as if the thought of the chase exited him. Takato felt disgusted by it, but he at least he knew that Megidramon would never actually be able to catch up to the smaller digimon. Megidramon's attributes lay in attack and defense, not in speed. Airdramon were still beyond his reach.
And then Megidramon did the unthinkable. He dropped his jaw and let out a gurgle of white hot flame towards the herd. The Airdramon screamed as one-fourth of its herd was obliterated in the beam of fire, but they didn't look back. They continued flying.
Takato stared, horrified, at the remnants of his digimon's ruin. Megidramon bellowed in triumph as a cloud of data burst forth from the Airdramon's direction, but didn't even bother to absorb it as he readied another fire blast. Megidramon was too far gone, too caught up in the destruction…
No!
"No!" Takato cried, "Megidramon, stop!"
But how could the dragon born from Hazard listen to him? Megidramon fired, and other fourth of the Airdramon herd was gone.
No… no… Takato hadn't brought back Megidramon for this. Not for this. He wouldn't- he couldn't- let Megidramon just do as he pleased, destroying everything in his path. Takato couldn't watch this many digimon being killed in front of him.
Takato gritted his teeth, and twisted. Megidramon's tail tightened around him, making Takato gasp with pain, but he held. With a noisy suuuuuuukkk Takato wrenched his arms from within Megidramon's grip, his new D-Ark in one hand and a card in another.
Megidramon readied his third blast…
"Card Slash!" Takato yelled over the winds, "Training Gibs!"
The Ultimate digimon suddenly stiffened, his heard jerking back as harsh metal bands tightened around his neck, body, and wings. Megidramon screeched in fury, pupils darting down beseechingly at its Tamer. Takato just glared back; he had every right to be doing this! And then, they started to fall.
Wind rushed through Takato's ears as they plummeted, the speed of it all making Takato's eyes water. He wanted to close his eyes but knew that he couldn't, not with Megidramon's wings constricted by the Training Gibs.
At the last instant Takato released his mental concentration on maintaining the Training Gibs, and the metal constrictors disappeared in a shower of data. Megidramon's wings flared, just managing to slow them down before they went crashing into the trees.
Megidramon screeched as they tumbled past the layers and layers of tree branches, struggling valiantly to fly but not able to. Takato felt his face and arms burn as they fell down at an incredible speed, the trees slowing their descent slightly but at the same time, cutting up the both of them badly.
They landed with a loud thunk.
Takato groaned, and rolled away from Megidramon. The dragon's tail grip had loosened when they hit the ground, finally allowing Takato unrestricted movement.
For a moment Takato just lay where he rolled to, his eyes clenched shut now that he finally had a moment to rest them. They were burning, and it was all he could do to get the liquid back in them again. Finally, the brown haired boy stumbled to his feet. He rubbed his legs, which were still numb from Megidramon's intense grip on his body. Takato sighed, and looked over to his digimon.
The large red dragon still had his wings flared out, head raised and screeching defiantly to the sky. But he did not look quite the same as he did before.
Takato hesitantly took a step forwards, and then another. The fact that Megidramon did not stop screeching did not look promising, but the Hazard dragon hadn't yet attacked Takato, had he? Swallowing down his panic and fear, Takato took yet another step towards him.
"There, there," Takato said, trying to keep his voice as tranquil and gentle as possible. He wasn't sure how well he had succeeded, but he remembered Juri telling him something about using body language and tone to calm animals.
The thought of Juri sent a stab of pain through his heart, and Takato quickly pushed her image away. He had disappointed her, badly, and even if he could see her, he knew she would not want to see him. Who would want to see someone who had done such a horrible thing to their own digimon?
At the thought of that, Takato's eyes softened. He let out a deep breath, his trepidation going out with it. Using a normal pace now, Takato walked up to Megidramon, who had finally stopped screeching.
Hesitantly, Takato put a hand on his partner's side, ignoring the heat that seared his palms. Burgundy eyes fluttered closed, "I'm sorry Megidramon. I've just promised that I wouldn't be scared of you, and there I go again. Some Tamer I am, huh?"
He opened his eyes and looked up, trying to see Megidramon's face, "Still, you've got to learn some things, even if it means starting from scratch. You can't just atta—wait, what's that?"
His impeding lecture regarding the Airdramon forgotten, Takato stared wide eyed at Megidramon's soft, leathery wings. He hadn't noticed it earlier because he was too far away, but now it was as obvious as sunlight. Megidramon might have had impeccable amour, but there was still one part of his body which was unprotected. His wings… were now sporting an assortment of holes and gashes, when none of that had been there before.
Takato sucked in a breath, instantly realizing where Megidramon had gotten those wounds. After all, what had changed between the time they were flying and they time they had landed? Takato leaned against the side of his digimon partner, stroking the Megidramon's side.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Takato said sorrowfully, shoulders shaking as he barely held back tears. The Training Gibs or the trees, Takato wasn't sure, but did it matter? The fact was, he had caused Megidramon's wounds. It always seemed to come down to a choice between other digimon and his own. Could he ever save one without hurting the other?
He wasn't sure how long he stood there for, simply stroking the frozen Megidramon. The red dragon was still looking to the sky, claws and wings extended. Finally he felt Megidramon relax against him, wings folding again with a swish and head bending back down.
Takato sighed, and slid down to ground. He wanted to help with Megidramon's healing, but he wasn't even sure how effective a card would be right now. He was dead tired, the things of earlier today finally catching up with him. Running such a distance, forcing an evolution, then using the King's Device… it had taken a lot out of him.
He closed his eyes again, leaning his head against Megidramon's side. The crimson dragon's muscles had become less bunched, but Megidramon still made no move of settling down. Takato wasn't sure if this was a good thing, but he didn't think his words would have any effect on the Ultimate digimon, anyhow.
Night fell, and Megidramon had still not moved an inch. Takato unconsciously snuggled in deeper to Megidramon's side, trying to sleep because he knew that he was too tired to do much else and that staying awake any longer would only be counterproductive.
Still, it was hard, even if the natural heat of Megidramon's body countered the coldness of the night. Finally however, his body couldn't take it any longer, and despite his troubled thoughts the next time Takato opened his eyes, it was morning that greeted him.
Takato let out a sigh, and arose from his position. His muscles screamed complaints at him, not pleased with their awkward position over the night. He ignored them as best he could, and looked to Megidramon.
The crimson dragon had still not shifted from his position.
Takato furrowed his brows, and took a few steps away from his digimon. He stood for a moment, simply observing him, wondering what was wrong. And then, in a flash of impulsiveness, Takato scaled up the sides of Megidramon, using the digimon's armour as footholds.
He stopped at the shoulder, swinging his legs to the front of the digimon and sitting on the Ultimate form of Guilmon like he was some new type of car.
Takato took a moment to catch his breath. He was panting, but it had been a hard climb. He'd never been one for rock climbing, and scampering up a burning digimon with such slight footholds wasn't exactly a walk in the park for someone with his physique.
Even through all of that though, Megidramon had still. Not. Moved.
Takato trailed his fingers nervously along the flesh of Megidramon's shoulder, taking care not to accidently skewer his hand on the boney armour. As much as he had wanted Megidramon to turn his burning gaze away from Takato yesterday, now he felt… what, lonely?
The school boy swallowed. He wished it was Guilmon here at the moment, instead of the crimson dragon. Guilmon was always looking for something fun to do, and would always make sure that Takato wasn't bored.
But as soon as that thought arose within him, he felt disgusted with himself. He had made Guilmon this way after all. He had to accept Guilmon for what he was now. Yet, it was so hard to remember that.
Takato sighed for the twentieth time since Guilmon's transformation, his fingers stopping in their straggling. "I said we're going to start anew, didn't I?" He turned to face Megidramon's head direction, and forced a smile on his face. "Hi, I'm Takato. Who're—"
The next words died on his throat as he finally noticed what differed from yesterday. He hadn't seen it before because he had avoided looking into Megidramon's eyes. He didn't want to see the burning hate and need for destruction. And now that he had finally the courage to look into them again…
Megidramon's eyes were dull, unseeing. They had no emotion within them. Absolutely none.
For a moment Takato panicked, wondering if he had somehow caused his digimon to go blind. It would just be his luck. Guilmon would get the awful Tamer who didn't know how to take care of him. And then, he saw what seemed to be a thin white film over Megidramon's eyes, and Takato felt his panic subside.
Ah, of course. Megidramon was a reptile, right? (3) And reptiles could sleep standing up, without closing their eyes.
Takato let out a breath of relief, and hopped off Megidramon's shoulder. Now that he was sure his digimon partner was alright, he could move on to other things.
The brown haired boy however, had never been much of a gymnast. He should have known better than to attempt such a jump.
Takato didn't land gracefully. He stumbled and had to cartwheel his arms quite a few times before his momentum finally left him, leaving him in a one-legged rooster catching lice position. He couldn't help but flush in embarrassment as he quickly returned his body to a more normal position, but then reminded himself that no one could see him.
But that thought didn't help matters.
A sudden bout of depression hit him. No one could see him because he had left all his friends. And no one would be able to see him until he had fully tamed Megidramon.
This wasn't like the situation with Growlmon, where all Takato had to do was wait for the energy to run out. There would be no rainbow miracles. It was different here in the digital world; he knew that much.
Jenrya had explained it to him the first time Guilmon had evolved and hadn't devolved in the time frame that Takato had thought it would take. The digital world was full of ambient digital energy, and that allowed digimon to keep their evolved forms for much longer.
Plus, now that Megidramon had absorbed Beezlebumon's data when Beezlebumon was an Ultimate who was strong enough to challenge the Sovereigns… well, Takato didn't need to be a rocket scientist to know what that meant.
There was no easy way out of this. It was tame Megidramon or watch as all his friends became his digital partner's new desert. Was his life screwed up or what?
Takato squeezed his eyes shut, and shook his head. No, now was not the time for self pity. He had brought all of this upon himself, after all. But… but he was not strong like Ryo. He was not sure he could survive the loneliness. The reason he could pull off the role of a hero was because of his friends, because he had wanted to protect them and in turn, they protected him.
He was only strong because of them, and without them, he wasn't even sure what he was anymore.
There had been one person who would have always stood by him no matter what, and how Takato wished to hear his voice again. But he was gone now, because of Takato's mistake. Guilmon, Takato's closest companion, his one confidant when all of his friends were unsure of him… he was gone.
Well no, not gone exactly, but not the same. Takato glanced up at Megidramon. He wouldn't resent the crimson dragon for it, but all the same Takato wished he had somebody he could truly talk to.
Then again… people had been taking care of Takato all his life. It was always Takato who needed to be protected, because he was fragile or because he simply couldn't handle it. His parents, then Ruki and Jenrya, and finally Guilmon…
Maybe it was time that Takato did the taking care of?
New determination filled him as he looked upon the sleeping figure of his digital partner. Yes, he could do this. It was his time to give something back to the world. He was still unsure, but he had been filled with the love of his friends and family for all his life in preparation of… what? Maybe it was to fill Megidramon with love as well.
Takato felt a slight blush cross his cheeks at how corny that sounded even in his own thoughts, but nevertheless he was determined to stick by it. He was worried, he was unsure, and most of all he was as frightened as heck, but he would do it. Because his parents would do it, because Jenrya would do it, because Ryo would do it, because Juri would do it, and because for sure, Ruki would do it.
He would not be left behind.
"Megidramon!" Takato called up, his voice stronger than he remembered it. "Wake up!"
Nothing happened. Not even a grasshopper scampered out of hiding.
Takato felt his heart drop. He knew it; he was too useless.
And then, the crimson dragon stirred.
Takato wasn't quite sure why he was filled with such happiness at the sight of the digimon whom had hours before, filled him with terror, but he was happy. So much so that he couldn't stop a huge grin from splitting across his face.
"Good boy!" Takato exclaimed joyfully, "Megidramon, that's—"
And then the dragon let out a bellow, and spewed plumes of red hot fire into the air.
Takato's face burned with the heat, and he had to quickly shut his eyes to avoid them being dried out. Overhead, he heard screeches of birds and the sound of frantic flapping as they hurried to get away, and of course there was the crackling of the air as Megidramon's flames stripped them of their oxygen.
"Me-Me-Megidramon," Takato gasped out, his voice turning hoarse in the presence of the flames. "St-st-stop. Stop!"
The crimson dragon didn't listen.
Takato's eyes flashed, and he quickly drew a card and his D-Arc from his belt. "Card Slash. Mouth Guard!"
Iron locks suddenly appeared over Megidramon's mouth, snapping his jaws shut with a snap. The Hazard dragon roared in fury, though it came out sounding stifled. Nevertheless, Takato could feel the anger.
"I told you to stop it!" Takato yelled. "You can't just kill everything in your sight!"
Surprisingly, Megidramon did stop. The crimson dragon appeared to have heard Takato this time, because it went stalk still, before suddenly whirling his upper body towards Takato. The virus digimon's head stopped just in front of Takato's, serpentine eyes narrowed into slits and his face so close that Takato could feel each puff of breath it took through his nostrils. They were hot enough to scald his cheeks.
Takato froze, suddenly wondering if he'd gone too far. Megidramon looked angry in a way Takato had not yet seen directed at him, and he couldn't deny the thrill of terror that raced through him.
And then Megidramon pulled back, letting out another huff to signal his displeasure, but for some reason he didn't seem quite as angry any longer. The virus digimon settled down, relaxing as much as Takato had ever seen the crimson dragon, and only watched his Tamer with hooded eyes.
The brown haired boy let out a breath he wasn't aware that he had been holding.
"G—good," he smiled shakily, reaching over to pat Megidramon's snout. As he did so he allowed the Mouth Guard to dissolve, once again freeing Megidramon's head.
Megidramon roared, his jaws unhinging to show rows upon rows of penetrating teeth as his war cry nearly blew out Takato's ear drums.
Takato quickly snatched his hand back.
They just stayed like that for a while, Tamer and Digimon. Neither of them moved, simply staring at each other. Finally Megidramon looked away, seeming to calm a little. The Ultimate no longer tried to barbeque the sky after all.
Takato let out a sigh of relief.
"Alright then," he told the Hazard digimon, "I'm going to go look for some food alright?"
Megidramon didn't respond, but then, Takato hadn't expected him to. Now that he was sure that Megidramon didn't seem likely to go off on a rampage, Takato quietly exited the clearing, venturing to look for some food just as he said he would.
The foraging session wasn't a very fruitful one. Takato did manage to find some berries but he didn't remember which ones weren't poisonous and he was too chicken to actually kill anything for meat. When he was with the gang it was Jenrya or the rest of the digimon who took care of this stuff, or if they were particularly lucky, a helpful village would provide their needs. He knew he was going to be in for a hungry night.
And then it started to rain.
Takato sighed as the sudden downpour drenched the surrounding bushes, colouring the area grey. He hadn't really been able to see the place before, but the rain made it impossible.
Knowing that scavenging was out for the moment, Takato decided to call it a day and head back to Megidramon. Perhaps the dragon was even missing him now. If Guilmon was still inside there somewhere, Takato wouldn't doubt it.
Surprisingly he actually found the way back without the use of his D-Arc's tracking device. Then again, maybe he should have been embarrassed. He had left a very clear trail of broken branches and trampled on leaves; the coming rain hadn't enough time to clear the evidence.
"This sucks, doesn't it boy?" Takato said as he shook the last snags of his shorts free from the bushes when he got back to the place where they had crashed. He wasn't sure exactly what Megidramon would respond to, so he stuck with talking to him like the crimson dragon was Guilmon. It made it easier on Takato's mind, anyhow. He finally looked away from the forest, back to the clearing and in the direction where he had left Megidramon. "Hey, doesn't this remind you of…"
He trailed off, the words stuck in his throat as he realized something he should have realized long ago.
Megidramon was not in the clearing any longer.
Takato felt his heart give a thump.
For a moment he wondered if he had gotten the wrong place, but common sense quickly ruled that out.
Quickly he dug out his D-Arc, and in an instant it had located Megidramon's position. Somewhere to the northeast, it seemed. Takato didn't wait for more information than that. He took off sprinting towards the direction the arrow was pointing.
It was hard running in the rain. His foot slipped more often than he would have liked to admit, and he was sent sprawling face first into the muddy puddles that had gathered more than once as he tripped over raised tree roots. But that didn't matter. What mattered was the sinking feeling in his chest and the knowledge that something was wrong wrong wrong.
His feeling didn't disappoint.
His D-Arc finally stopped beeping as he neared the edge of the forest, and truthfully, he felt Megidramon's presence even before his D-Arc told him that he arrived. The air after all suddenly felt like it'd gotten ten degrees hotter, and from between trees he thought he could spot his partner's red form.
Takato finally pushed out of the forest, only to be met with a scene of horror.
He went rigid, for a moment completely unable to comprehend the scene before him. He wasn't sure exactly what he had expected, but it certainly wasn't…
…Megidramon was in the middle of some sort of huddle of makeshift huts, bellowing fire everywhere. There were Tsukaimon dashing about wherever they could, hiding under whatever they could find, but it was no use. Megidramon just destroyed that, too.
The air was filled with so much data that it was almost hard to breath. Whatever Tsukaimon made it too close to the safety of the forest Megidramon would just spear with a movement of his might tail. Megidramon just kept destroying, and destroying, and destroying.
"No…" Takato whispered, hardly able to believe it. The scene looked surreal, as if it were out of a movie rather than his life. "No no no no no."
He staggered forward a step. No this couldn't be happening. No this couldn't have under his guard and he'd just left Megidramon for a moment and he was so stupid and why did he even think that was a good idea and now it'd caused this.
"NO! MEGIDRAMON, STOP!"
The Hazard dragon stopped.
But it was too late. The Tsukaimon village was laid completely to waste.
Takato choked back a sob as he staggered towards his digimon partner, burgundy eyes filled with horror as he surveyed the scene around him.
Ruined, completely ruined. There wasn't a single building that wasn't half burned down, and there wasn't a single Tsukaimon left to inhabit them.
Finally he made it to Megidramon's side, but it was more with a crippled lurch than a walk. He clutched at the heated, radiating body, which warmed Takato's skin even when it had crushed various smaller digimon just moments before.
"Why did you…?" He whispered, his voice coming out hoarse. "Why…?"
But of course, Megidramon didn't respond.
Takato was shaking. He was shaking so hard he wasn't even sure how he was standing. And quite suddenly, he wasn't.
His legs felt too weak to support his body, as if all the energy had been drained from him. Takato fell to his knees, his body hunched, and he found that he couldn't get up.
His breath was coming in short gasps, and he knew he was hyperventilating. He couldn't bring himself to care though. Why should he care when an innocent village lay in ruins around him, simply because he couldn't control his digital partner?
He felt a laugh of hysteria bubble up within him. He thought he could handle this, but who was he kidding? He'd already known that he would never be as good as Ryo or Ruki or Jenrya, but he was even less than that! He'd let… he'd let…
Tears welled up in his eyes. Tears of sorrow for the digimon who'd died. Tears of frustration at himself. Tears at the whole damnable situation.
"I can't do this," Takato sobbed into Megidramon's side, "I thought I could but I can't, I can't!"
And then he heard a groan to the right.
Eyes wide, Takato turned from his buried position at Megidramon's side. There, just a little ways off was one of Tsukaimon. Half of one ear was ripped off entirely, and cuts and bruises littered its body. But it was alive. Still alive.
Wonderingly, Takato looked up into Megidramon's eyes. The dragon was tense, and its attention was still very much on that Tsukaimon. It was obvious that the dragon digimon had noticed the other, but it still hadn't finished it off.
…why?
Was it because Megidramon didn't feel the need to? No, that couldn't be the reason. The very nature of Megidramon dictated destruction. It was not someone who would spare a helpless innocent because they deemed themselves superior. No, the reasoning couldn't have been that.
There was of course, one explanation which explained everything, but dare Takato hope…?
Had Megidramon truly stopped this time simply because Takato ordered him?
There still wasn't a hint of humanity in Megidramon's eyes. They still screamed for devastation and chaos. But… but Megidramon had stopped on Takato's command, hadn't he? Yes, Tsukaimon was wounded, but he wasn't dead. He even looked like he might be fine if left alone, physically at least.
Takato felt his breath hitch as he held down a sob at the thought of the horrible fate which befell the tribe of innocent bunny-like digimon. A horrible fate that was caused by him, no less. And then he quickly pushed down the panic, because he knew that if he went down that road now, he would never be able to stop.
Things weren't the same, and Takato doubted that they ever would be again. Even if Megidramon changed back to Guilmon, Takato would be forever changed. And he doubted that Guilmon would be the same after such an experience either.
Still, even if things weren't ever going to be the same, he thought he could accept it. Looking into Megidramon's burning red eyes, Takato realized that even if it was still Guilmon in there, Megidramon was a whole new deal. But… but he was still Takato's partner.
Takato nodded, and stood up. He laid a hand on Megidramon's side, acknowledging the coiled tension beneath his fingers, the plague of death that was sure to reign the moment Takato lost control.
The Tamer withdrew his hand, and walked away from the remnants of the unfortunate rabbits and the puddles of muddy rainwater which had formed in the place where he had knelt. At the edge of the forest he paused, and turned back to the only other one in sight. "Megidramon… we're leaving."
When the skies cleared there wouldn't be a rainbow. The conditions of the digital world wouldn't allow for that. Still, he thought he might have experienced something of a miracle today.
He was partners with an out-of-control digimon who had enough power to destroy the digital world ten times over. He was partners with someone whom he was still a little frightened of. But… they were partners nonetheless.
There was no happiness yet, but there was acquiescence.
A/n: Uh… I kinda wrote this a few years ago, and recently decided to finish it. I haven't watched Digimon Tamers in forever, so near the end my information might have gotten a little wonky. I don't remember if the Tamers actually felt hunger or anything in the digital world ('cause Tamers world was so screwed up; loved it, but it was screwed up compared to the other ones). So to any rabid Digimon fans, be lenient with me.
(1)- Megidramon's revived, but he doesn't have the power of the Hazard behind him anymore. His chest plate was never restored. Therefore, his existence itself doesn't hurt the digital world. His actions however… well…
(2)- How can Takato breathe that high in the sky? Simple; it's the digital world. He's too consumed by his thoughts than to think about how he shouldn't be able to breath, so he can. It's the same way he and Jenrya breathed underwater when they were separated from the rest of the group.
(3)- Well, sorta. Reptiles are coldblooded, but… it's digimon, and what the heck, they don't make sense.