Disclaimer: I own nothing except the laptop that my parents bought for me. Oh, how life is cruel.

A/N: Some of the thoughts regarding Twilight come from roxypony's Profile. What? Stalker? Me? Not at all... -shifty eyes-
Though I am of a like opinion.

I'm still a new author, and this is my first attempt at a "humorous" story, so reviews make me happy. Just not flames. -bats eyes-

Warning: It's plotless, just fluff.

The day started like any other work day should. Arrive early, get changed, workout, lunch break. But when Jules left her locker room with a sandwich and a bottle of juice, she was greeted by a strange sight. Spike was sitting at a table, munching his sandwich and deeply absorbed in a large novel. Jules raised her eyebrows, amused.

"I didn't know you were so into reading, Spike," Jules said as a greeting.

Spike jumped and looked up from the giant novel he was lost in. "Huh? Oh, hey Jules. I don't know, I'm not usually, but..."

"Well, you were rapt. What book? You could knock someone out with that."

"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire."

"Harry Potter?" chuckled Jules as she shot a glance at the book's cover.

"What?" Spike demanded, a defiant note creeping into his voice. "It's a good book."

"Aren't you a bit old for Harry Potter?"

As she said this, Ed and Wordy came in, and Wordy promptly interrupted, "Harry Potter? I've read those to my girls. They're not bad, actually."

"Clark loves them. I've read them too, actually," Ed added thoughtfully. "They're a lot better than some of the trash people call literature."

"Are you saying you've never read them, Jules?" inquired Wordy.

"No, and I wouldn't have thought any of you had read them either."

"Read what?" queried Sam and Lou in unison as they exited the men's locker room.

"Harry Potter."

"Oh, Spike and I love Harry Potter!" yelped Lou, positively quivering with excitement. "I can't believe you've never read them!"

Jules rolled her eyes and took a bite out of her sandwich.

"Does that make me the only mature one? What about you, Sam?"

Sam twiddled his thumbs absently before he chose to answer.

"Nope, I don't really... read much...."

"Ha!" yelled Ed, jumping up. "Sam never struck as the reading type...."

"Hey now, Eddie. Play nice!" said Greg, choosing this moment to enter with a stack of completed paperwork tucked under one arm, his dark eyes twinkling. He took a glance at Spike's book. "At least it isn't Twilight. Then I'd be worried."

"Jeez, Ed! I just choose to spend my free time doing other, more productive things. And what's Twilight? I've never heard of it," said Sam.

"Like what, watching hockey?" asked Wordy, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Among other things," sniffed Sam haughtily. "But really, what is Twilight?"

"I thought everyone had heard of Twilight. My friend convinced me to read them, and I've regretted it ever since. I'm scarred for life."

A few interested and somewhat shocked looks were sent her way.

"Wait a sec, Jules," said Spike concernedly, "you've never read Harry Potter, but you've read Twilight? That's bad."

Jules shot him a glare that would have killed a lesser man.

"Yeah, but didn't I say I regretted it? I only agreed to my neurotic friend's request because she said it was all the rage with teenagers. If a subject brings it up, I figured I should at least know what it's about. Teenagers these days are so brainwashed," sighed Jules, shaking her head.

"In that case, Jules, you can be the negotiator with rabid Twilight fans. I want nothing to do with that book."

Jules tilted her head in amusement.

"Books, actually. But fine, Sarge."

"There's more than one?" gasped Lou.

"Sadly, yes," groaned Jules.

"I still don't know what Twilight is about."

"Lucky you, Sam. Shelley and I won't let our girls read those, it's just not healthy. Not that they're old enough, anyways...."

Sam, who was looking warier and warier, intervened.

"Jules, come on. What's it about?"

"You want the whole sad story? Fine. An oh-so-average teenager named Bella and an immortal vampire who looks 17, but who is really 100 at least named Edward fall in love. It goes on for 4 novels and about 2000 monotonous pages."

"Is that honestly it?"

"Oh yeah, and the vampires sparkle in the sun."

"They sparkle?" asked 5 voices incredulously.

"It's as bad as it sounds. And yes, Sam, that's honestly it. The only action at all is wrapped up in all its predictable glory in about five pages. Oh, and the characters are terrible. They seem to have no flaws at all."

"Good grief, how do those kids actually read those things?" groaned Wordy.

"I have no idea. And the movie was even worse. No plot or direction whatsoever."

"Good Lord, Jules, you've seen the movie too?" yelped Ed in horror.

Jules coloured slightly, "My friend took me. She spent the entire thing talking about how hot Edward was. She has yet to reach an appropriate level of maturity, it would seem."

"Oh yeah? Who played Edward?" asked Lou curiously.

"A guy named Robert Pattinson. Personally, I think he's pretty creepy."

"Hey! He plays Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire!" said Spike excitedly.

"Sophie and I have watched that movie so many times with Clark... I'm with Jules on this one, creepy for sure."

"At least Harry Potter has literary value. There's a great moral struggle going on about what is and isn't crossing the lines. I could relate to that. And the villains are great, too...." added Greg thoughtfully.

"Wait, Sarge, you've read them too?" cried Jules in despair.

"Yeah, I thought everyone had. I've read them all a few times in my downtime. They're definitely worth reading."

"What downtime?"

"Funny man, Braddock."

"Well, I think Sam and Jules should read Harry Potter. They're missing out!" exclaimed Spike.

"Surprisingly, I agree with you, Spike," said Wordy, "I wasn't prepared for how much I was going to like them."

"Yeah, me too," added Lou. "If Jules has read Twilight, she can handle Harry Potter!"

"Sarge? Ed?" questioned Spike happily.

Two noises of assent came from the team leader and Sargeant.

"Well, that is a stellar idea, gentlemen," began Sam, "but I will have to pass. I'm sure Jules will accept your offer, however."

He winked.

"Oh, I don't know..."

"Come on, Jules. You've already read Twilight and survived, I'm sure you can handle an actual book," said Ed in his most patronizing voice.

Jules held up her hands in defeat.

"Fine! Fine! But someone will have to lend me the first book, otherwise the deal is off."

Greg smirked.

"Sure thing. I have the first one in my locker, I'll go get it. And team, you might want to start on those lunches that you've been neglecting, Lunch break is over in... 12 minutes," he said, checking his watch.

That effectively ended the conversation.

About a week later

"Damn," snarled Jules as her overstuffed bag hit the floor, its contents spilling everywhere.

"Need some help, Jules?"

"Thanks, Spike, but I'm fine," she sighed, shoving her things haphazardly back into her bag.

She turned to say something to him, but stopped short. He was holding a book in his hands, a triumphant grin spreading over his face. Jules narrowed her eyes.

"What is it, Spike?"

"This is Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets."

Jules flushed, "So?"

"Sarge only gave you the first book. And we've had a pretty hectic week so far."

"I'm not seeing your point."

"You must have been reading at every possible moment to be this far into the second book already," Spike grinned happily. "Admit it—you're hooked."

"Fine," laughed Jules, "they're good. You were right. Anything else you want to hear?"

"That just about covers it. Welcome to the club, Jules. Welcome to the club."

Fin.

See that shiny green button? Isn't it just begging to be pressed? Until next time ;)