I Had To

by are-you-Aaron-Burr-sir

"I had to say it. I had to make it real." Writing this story physically hurt me. Newt-centric. Slightly Newtmas. SPOILERS FOR THE DEATH CURE.

I saw him approach me. A name floated around in what was left of my brain- my invaded brain, my eaten brain.

Tommy.

The anger and the pain rushed back but so did the love and for a second that love was so intense that it knocked the bloody Flare right out of me and in that blissful moment I thought of nothing but Tommy, my Tommy.

But then despair clouded my thoughts and before I knew it I was begging for my death, begging for Tommy to PLEASE JUST END IT I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE PLEASE TOMMY PLEASE

He was crying but I felt nothing because the Flare had eaten away any parts that were me and I was past Gone, just an empty shell of a soul and I wanted it to stop.

And he pulled the trigger with shaky hands that I wanted to hold, but Death was pulling me away and it was all too fast and I had to say it. I had to make it real.

"Tommy," I murmured. That one bloody word hurt more than anything and I wasn't sure if it was because of the bullet or the heartache. "I-"

Darkness.