Saiyuki and its characters belong to Kazuya Minekura.
This story takes on elements from both the english and japanese versions.
This was written as a character description essay for class, and earned an A. This was also written for Sanzo and Goku, even though they are a pain in my ass (You know who you are). This was initially posted on my Luna account (Theosphir).

Odd Fellow

His smile is fake. It's not noticeable at first, but after you've gotten to know him, it's clear as day. He's always smiling, always hiding, putting up a front, because if he doesn't, he'll break. And he can't afford to break.

Cho Hakkai is the backbone of the Sanzo Ikkou, the thread holding them all together, if just barely. He is the driver, the cook, the housekeeper. He is their healer, counsel, and intelligence. He is the peacemaker. Hakkai buys the groceries. Hakkai keeps track of the budget. Hakkai always manages to talk their way out of stickiest situations, and somehow keep Sanzo, Gojyo, and Goku from killing each other. He takes the worst of all the things they throw at him in subdued silence. And he never once complains about it, just flashes that fake smile of his and trudges on as if it's really no big deal. To most outsiders, Hakkai is just short of a saint.

He's not the kind of guy you'd peg for a murderer, to say the least. His brown hair is always clean, held out of his face by a green headband, and usually has a disarming boyish ruffle to it. He's dressed properly at all times- khaki pants and dark green, oriental styled collared shirt. He wears a white sash around his shoulder and midsection, making him look even more the part of 'team doctor'. Contrasting nicely with the other colors of his attire, a black undershirt covers his arms. He's tall but lanky, harmless looking. He even wears a monocle over one eye.

If only the people passing by on the streets knew that the eye the monocle adorned, he had ripped out himself, or if they saw the sparkle of the silver ear cuffs he wore that limited him to a human form, surely they would think differently. Yes, Hakkai, Mr 'End-all-my-sentences-with-desu-ne', was a demon, though not by bloodline. He had been human once upon a time, back when that smile of his was always genuine. Back then, when he was still human, he had been in love. Deeply, madly, overpoweringly in love. She had been taken from him; he had gone a bloody killing spree to get her back, only to have her take her own life in the end and die before his eyes. The murders he had committed resulted in his current self- a human turned demon. The only things remaining to remind him of that night were his limiters, a long, pale scar across his belly, and the rain.

"Kanaan..." Hakkai's timid voice whispers to no one in particular, breaking the partial silence in the dark, empty hotel room. Staring out the window, he lifts a shaky hand to press at his scar through his shirt. It's raining outside tonight, like it was the day he lost his beloved. Like the day he got that scar. He cringes at the memory. He doesn't want to go there. Thankfully, he doesn't have to.

'Kyuuuu?'

"I'm alright, Hakuryuu," he says, blinking and turning to the small white dragon perched on the windowsill beside him. Gojyo had laughed at him when he'd told him what he was going to name the little creature. Hakuryuu. Pale Dragon. For his white dragon. He found himself chuckling slightly as he remembered the calico kitten they had encountered a few weeks prior. Goku had wanted to keep it, and they had, until they found the owner. The entire time Hakkai had insisted on calling her 'mi-ke' ('calico'). He really was an odd fellow.

Little red eyes stared up at their master as he made an uncertain noise, only to have Hakkai's calloused fingers scratch at his silvery mane. Hakkai smiled, still fake, but a little bit more sincere towards his little pet.

"Really. I'm fine."

Hakuryuu seemed satisfied with this, and Hakkai found himself thanking the Gods that animals were so much more understanding than people. The door clicked open behind him, and the dragon fluttered up to his shoulder in surprise, Hakkai reaching up to pat him soothingly. Emerald eyes stared at their reflections in the window pane as Gojyo's lazy shuffle filled the room, followed by a clunk as he set a cup of tea down on the small table.

"You don't gotta be such a martyr ya know," Gojyo's strange accent (Boston-Puerto-Rican) greeted him, and he turned from the window to gaze at his half-demon best friend. For the sake of normality, he answered the comment with his standard false grin. It was worth a shot.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about Gojyo," he replied calmly, his voice carrying with it his usual melodious tone. Gojyo glarred back at him, red eyes stating clearly to emerald that he was not in the mood for these charades.

"Cut the crap, Hakkai" Gojyo growled firmly as he walked over to the table, pulling out a chair and turning it to sit on it backwards, arms resting on the back. Hakkai's smile instantly fell. While his facade could fool most, it was no use on Gojyo. The half-demon had known him the longest out of their merry group, and he knew all of Hakkai's secrets. Hakkai heaved a sigh, and took a few tentative steps over to the table to pick up the cup of tea.

"Thank you," Hakkai offered, and for the first time in a long time he allowed his weariness to show through in his voice. Gojyo looked up at his friend, noticing the wrinkles and tired expression that replaced the smile. He nodded, brushing off the feeling of pity for his friend, who seemed ages older than only twenty two.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright," the red-haired half breed said, not meeting his friends gaze and instead inspecting the pattern of the wood on the table. Hakkai noticed this and did the same, subconsciously running his fingers over his scar.

"I'll be okay," he stated again, more to convince himself than Gojyo. He took a sip of his tea. "You know the rain makes me think of Kanaan."

Gojyo smirked when his friend was able to say his late wife's name without faltering. It had taken nearly four years, but Hakkai was healing, bit by bit. He wasn't over it yet, but he was dealing with it more each day. He was proud, and glad for his friend.

"Yeah. Damn rain gets everyone worked up it seems," the redhead scoffed, "I already got the monkey working on our overly-dramatic priest."

A genuine smile graced Hakkai's lips at the mention of their traveling companions. Though Sanzo was constantly grumpy, Hakkai found that they had a lot in common, right down to losing someone on a rainy night. He was wise, and a good person to talk to, once you got over his attitude. And Goku, though obnoxious, was always there to lighten the mood. Hakkai had always loved kids, having been a teacher long before his life had gone down in shambles, and Goku's bright eyes and inquisitive mind put him at ease, no matter how often he and Gojyo fought about the space in the back seat of the jeep.

"Did you make this yourself?" Hakkai asked, figuring he should lighten the mood a bit. It was already near two in the morning, and he knew Gojyo wouldn't be getting to bed unless he was convinced that his friend was ok. Gojyo nodded, and Hakkai put forth his best amused smirk.

"It's not toxic," he joked as his companion stood, pushing the chair back under the table.

"Yeah yeah," Gojyo waved him off, rolling his scarlet eyes and heading towards the door, seemingly satisfied with Hakkai's mental state for the time being. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I'm goin' to bed," He called over his shoulder as he left, boots clunking.

"Goodnight Gojyo"

"Night 'Kai"

As the door shut, Hakkai finished his tea and walked over to the small, neat bed, pulling off his sash as he did so and making it into a pile for Hakuryuu to lay on. The dragon churred happily at this, curling up and almost instantly falling asleep. He didn't wait for his master. His master never slept when it rained.

One night, a long time ago, when this journey of theirs had first begun, Sanzo had asked him if he wanted out. He had said no. He'd never questioned his decision to come along with them. He just felt it was something he had to do. Even if it meant faking he was ok when he was still hurting. Even if it meant driving hours on end with the whole lot of them arguing and fighting in his ear. Even if it meant an eternity of Goku's "I'm hungry" and picking up cigarettes and beer cans after Sanzo and Gojyo, he would keep going. Maybe it was because he had come so far that he wouldn't allow himself to go back now. And if he did, what would they ever do without him? As he readies for bed, though he will not sleep, he practices that fake smile of his one more time, trying his best to make it a little more real. Because if he doesn't smile, he'll break. And Hakkai can't afford to break.