This is before the crash, Shannon works in the modelling industry as someone that casts models, don't know why I chose that job, very random but who'd have thought she would have been a ballet teacher.

Extremely mild mention of LSD.

-------------

Dear Diary

Sunday 2nd December

In New York.

Run out of hotel to only get splashed (I say splashed, I mean soaked) by water from a passing cab. After ten whole minutes of trying to hail down the next cab, I finally get one!

Nearly miss my oh-so glamorous flight back to LA because of an emergency stop-off near JFK airport. I ask for a full manicure and pedicure.

"What colour would you like?" the bleary-eyed therapist asks. Hello. Pink is so this seasons hottest colour.

Have to get ready for my best friends Ruby's party.

---------

Monday 3rd December

Wake up in LA, with remnants of paint on my ankles (Don't ask!)

Have a model casting and meeting with photographer in one hour. Brief assistant while wearing Marc Jacobs sunglasses in a dark room. Drinking vast amounts of coffee. Photographer turns up EARLY!! (Damn Americans) and so do the models (utterly unheard of)

End up doing the casting in a gym (Never actually found out why. Note to self find out why)

So we end up casting in a gym while a topless girl hums away on a exercise bike next to us, thankfully I can only see out of one eye (overdid the eyelash glue) We cast seven models thanks to my awesome multi-tasking skills! Get on a late flight back to New York. More rain. YAY! (Being sarcastic of course!)

-----------

Tuesdays 4th December

Have a very little amount of clothes to chose from (Packing was a little unfocused)

Start screaming at hotel front desk that I've left my YSL ring in the spa, then realise its in my bag. (Sorry everyone that witnessed my complete freak out) Get to the studio and am hit by an attack of the giggles (nerves) as the hair and make-up team, eight models, photographer, three assistants and a dog (don't ask) look at me for direction. By 5:30pm thought everything was great and I popped next door for a tray of tequila.

Go to a models friend of a friend of a friends party. Well it would be rude not to. Meet lots of interestingly weird people. Meet a guy that seems to be making fun off me, ask him if he's mocking me he said "No you do my job for me" Again not tracking.

Wake up at 11am wearing a United Nations blue cap. Catch the Red Eye home.

-----------

Wednesday 5th December

After arriving back in LA. Go straight to work!

----------

Thursday 6th December

Take Buttermilk (my dog) for a walk, end up sharing a cab home at 5pm with a handsome stranger, who is to wasted to even talk. Still have the dog with me. Miracle. (Usually loose him)

---------

Friday 7th December

Try to track down guy in cab. No luck! At work. Got a call from Bonehead Boone (My Brother) What are we getting mom for Christmas?? I remind him the old witch is his mother.

---------

Saturday 8th December

Google nearest AA meeting.

---------

Sunday 9th December

A 'friend' rings to complain that Gucci has sold out of size zero leather trousers all over Los Angeles. Hate this kind of boasting!

Another fabulous party filled week in the life of me.

--------

Monday 10th December

Ruby rings. (Who is going out with this gorgeous guy) She's in a panic. The brand new car she's just had delivered doesn't fit in the brand new house they have just bought and her new neighbours are laughing at her trying to ram the too-large car into the too-small garage. But I've just been told Buttermilk has a tumour in his lip so I hang up.

----------

Tuesday 11th December

Arrive early at the vets. Vet injects dog without warning and he plays dead in a western kind of way. Cue inappropriate laughing. Feel like a very bad mother. Would like to step into over-sized bag and hide, actually I would like to live in it.

Ruby rings she is throwing a party, asks me to come. (Of course) Turns out its not in her new house (Damn really wanted to see it!) its in her old apartment. Get there around 6pm, apartment building is surrounded by builders who think there luck is in (Possibly because of the DVF mini shorts I'm wearing) Anyway party rocked, got very drunk and decided to google AA meetings again.

-----------

Wednesday 12th December

Go to a hospital appointment wearing a black gothic lace dress. (Perhaps a little inappropriate for a meeting with my surgeon) Doctor tells me I need my gall bladder removed. I ask, what does it do? Not much apparently. Does it sieve alcohol? Seems not. I decide to wait until after fashion week till op, cant deal with a scar right now.

Later make a new friend who invites me to join her for dinner, I accept, cant tell if she's pleased about me accepting, she's had to much surgery for me to see her emotions.

Later on in the meal her older male friend goes to the gents, I ask her if she often goes out to dinner with her dad. Turns out he's her boyfriend!! (Never expected that, but this is LA) A certain word came to mind. Gold digger.

-----------

Thursday 13th December

Charlie (My boyfriend) is out with one of his 'safe' friends. (I keep a list of who he is allowed to go out with)

I'm going to Ruby's official housewarming party (YAY can have a good look around!)

After drinking for four hours, and walking around in Miu Miu heals. I am now feeling very ill. Get a cab back to mine, friends advice go home and drink red wine. I do.

I have never felt like this before, I look at Buttermilk and he runs away. (Great!) I look in the mirror. BIG mistake. My eyes are like saucers and tears has made my mascara run. I'm a panda in pyjamas. Call 911. Ambulance arrives. I start panicking and ask the paramedic if my bag goes with my pyjamas? He gives me a strange look and guides me to the ambulance. Arrive at hospital, laying on one of those beds with wheels (Think there called trolleys) While I'm being wheeled to wherever I'm going I get a good look at all the doctors. (Very nice)

I'm strapped to a heart monitor (By a gorgeous male nurse, heart monitor shoots up very high)

Am now gripping the male nurse around the waist while police officers stand either side of me. (One is extremely hot!, other is old enough to be my great grandfather) Doctor does a few tests. One comes back positive for LSD. How suburban. Charlie turns up after a panicked call from Ruby. He's not impressed. I knew my pyjamas didn't go with this bag.

----------

Friday 14th December

Call work tell them what happened previous night. Very sympathetic. Let me have the weekend off.

Lay on sofa all day watching Legally Blonde one and two, then start watching Fashion TV.

Charlie comes round with a heart shaped box a chocolates (Extremely tacky box. Wonder where he got the chocolates from? They look like they where air dropped into a 3rd world country, decide against eating them)

Makes a reference I have never heard of. I reply "Sorry I don't get references before 1983"

Have an early night (without Charlie)

-------

Saturday 15th December

Feeling a lot better today. Meet an old 'friend' while out in LA. Jamie Eckleberry. We used to call her Eckleberry Hound. (Hound as in dog, I didn't name her that. I just spread it around)

Turns out Charlie knows her as well. He tells me she's very successful in her field. I make a joke about that "Oh, how nice. She has a field to run around in!" (I found it VERY funny. Charlie didn't, start to wonder if he ever dated her)

After a few more joke he tells me its getting old. I make another joke
"In people or dog years?" I end the whole Jamie Eckleberry conversation (as she passes us) with "She looks fetching." She didn't recognise either of us. Which reassures me that he never dated her.

-------

Sunday 16th December

Decide to do some Christmas shopping. Charlie picks me up at 11am. Have lunch out then do more shopping until my Gucci right heal snaps and I fall over. Make a complete idiot out of myself! Charlie quickly grabs me up but I cant stand on my foot. Then pain kicks in and I end up in hospital again. (Receptionist makes a very unfunny joke about this being my second home, my sides were splitting it was that funny!)

Nearly crying with pain ask for whatever drugs they can give. Charlie says it will only mask the pain (I don't care, mask it! Give it a cape and let it fight crime, I don't give a damn!) And that was the end of another fantastic week.

----------------------------

Please review. I'd really appreciate it. Tell me if its good or bad. Let me know your favourites bits. Thanks:)