Broken

I stumble again, landing face-first on the cold, hard ground. A quiet oof escapes my lips, and its sound, along with the rustling of stirred grasses that I hit, accompanies the tiny chirps of crickets in the field. I lash my bent tail and get to my paws, shaking the dirt out of my golden pelt. I peer back at the horrid thing that causes me to fall humiliatingly on flat surfaces. It's crooked and unnatural looking. I turn away from it, closing my eyes as memories resurface.

I was running on the moor, on border patrol by myself, breathing in the wonderful scent of my clan, Windclan. Feeling the trampled grass under my paws, I felt I was racing the wind. I felt my cheetah ancestors rumble in my veins as they worked wildly to supply my thumping heart with oxygen-rich blood. My lungs took quick, deep breaths, matching the pace of my paws. I felt my legs stretch as I opened my stride, my tail giving me the ability to make turns as sharp or as smooth as I preferred. Catching the scent of the rabbit, I turned sharply, slowing down.

Scanning the grasses, I saw the brown round ears of a plump rabbit poking above the grasses. I made sure I stayed upwind of it, forgetting I was near the barn. The loners had been hostile lately, and Tallstar had warned to be with another cat when close by. Being so focused on the rabbit, however, distracted me from that thought. I wish it hadn't.

I open my eyes, giving my tail another odd lash. It never felt as smooth as before. It stopped lashing at the bend, and the rest felt stiff. Blinking away tears, I walk on.

Why was I trying to run again? I can't even cross camp without looking like a clumsy kit. I can't change the past, so why re-open old wounds. I'm as good as running and hunting as an elder.

I looked up at the full moon, remembering more of that night.

I rolled my shoulders as I stalked the clueless prey, my grey eyes studying it intently. With a yowl and a dash, I sprang. The brown eyes of the rabbit widened and it dodged my leap and took off with me on its heels. I was caught in the wondrous feeling of running and chasing and hunting, I hardly noticed I ran along the border of their territory and the barn, and then crossed it in pursuit of my prey. My mistake.

I sighed sadly. The dirt under my paws taunted me, as did the tall grasses that rustled in the soft breeze. I take a deep breath, a determined look settling upon my face. I am Lilystream, of Windclan, and by Starclan's name, I'll run again. With that, I took off into the grasses, feeling their gentle, familiar smack against my pelt.

Going straight, I kept my balance. I decided I should try to turn again. As soon as I adjusted my tail, I lost my balance. My paws slipped and slid across the loose soil, and I flew into the grass on my side, feeling my broken tail throb after landing on it. I was wincing, I was sighing, and I was in tears. Just like that night.

The rabbit had finally run out of breath, which led to its demise as I sunk my claws into it. I murmured thanks to Starclan, when I heard a rustle in the bush next to me. Oh no. Our territory doesn't have bushes; I must be near the barn. That's where all the loners are. You mouse-brain! I thought harshly. I better get out of here. Suddenly, a massive dark brown tom with inquiring amber eyes leapt out of the bush where I heard the rustling. His lips were pulled up in a terrifying smirk. He spoke with such a rough voice, making him seem even scarier.

"Why, hello there, Clanner. You seem to have forgotten you hunted on our territory, love."

I feel my fur fluff out, and I bare my teeth. They glint in the moon's rays. "Don't call me that. You have no idea what abilities I'm capable of. I suggest you leave me alone, let me take the rabbit, and no one gets hurt, Loner." I spit out the last word like it's crowfood. I crouch over my kill protectively.

Suddenly, the tom is joined by three other loners. One is another massive tom, but with a grey pelt and the same amber eyes, which have a malicious glint in them. Then there are the two identical she-cats, with their thick, dark tabby fur. The only way to tell them apart was their eyes; one had stormy green eyes and the other icy blue ones.

My eyes flickered from cat to cat, feeling defenseless and horribly outnumbered. I knew I wouldn't get to keep the rabbit without a fight. Was it worth it?

Before I could think about the answer, the grey tom smirked. "Thrush, Ivy, Frost, what are we going to do with this trespasser?"

The brown tom replied as the she-cats came being me. "I don't know, Stone. Maybe we should teach her a lesson. Something a Windclan cat will never forget."

My eyes widened, and Ivy and Frost had me pinned from behind. Their claws sunk into my shoulder blades and spine. I suppressed a yowl of pain, letting a growl rumble in my chest instead. I struggled which only made their claws tear my back even more.

Then they let me up. Not wasting a moment, I sprang to my paws. A grey paw came right toward me. I wasn't fast enough to react, and my head throbbed as I saw stars. Another grey paw landed on my side, causing me to topple over onto my side. I shake my head, thrashing around to get free, but Ivy holds down my front paws, Frost takes hold of my back legs, and Stone holds my side.

A shadow looms over me, and I look up into the eyes of the hateful brown tom. Thrush looked down at me like a Dark Forest cat had possessed him. His fangs were hidden by a shy, evil smile. His claws sheath and unsheathe, tapping against the soil.

He raises his paw and plunges it into my flank. I gasp and snarl, thrashing more wildly now. Thrush steps back and nods. The three leap off of me and I get up, seething with rage. My side bleeds, staining my golden pelt a dark crimson. It stings, and my breath catches for a second. Narrowing my eyes at the smirking tom, I crouch about to leap, when Frost's claws slide down my other side. They also catch my muzzle. I growl, feeling blood drip down my pelt and face. Ivy's talon-like claws slam into my head, and they leave deep puncture marks. I see stars again, and the massive paw of Stone knocks me down again.

He holds me down with ease, despite my struggles. He grins, and I see Frost and Icy carry a large rock. I frown, halting my struggle for a moment. Thrush speaks from out of my vision range. "Now, little Windclan cat, tell me this. How will you ever hunt rabbits if you can't even take a pawstep without balancing?"

I open my mouth to snap something back, when I see the stone drop. A crippling pain shoots though my tail and I can't hold back the shrill, deafening scream that comes from me. Another smack, and the scream is cut short as I feel my eyes roll back as my head hits the ground, unconscious.

I roll over, once again shaking debris from my fur. I murmur, "Starclan, why didn't you save me that night? Why did you let this happen to me?"

I started the slow trek back toward camp, where no one I wanted to see was. Some of the clan pities me. Some said I deserve what happened, stating I was poking my nose in loner territory, asking for trouble. I don't think they'll ever believe that I can carry on as a warrior. But I know I can get past this, I know having this disability won't slow me down. I will always believe this despite what my clanmates think of me. That's why I've been trying so hard to run again, but I fear now that is as far away as the stars.