Conrad Ecklie sat at his desk, staring at the man across from him.
Gil Grissom returned his gaze cooly, one eyebrow slightly raised in question.
Ecklie finally spoke.

"I'm conducting an inquiry into the inappropriate relationship between you and CSI Sidle," he informed Gil, trying to sound authoritative.

Gil nodded, raising his eyebrow a bit higher.

"What do you want to know?" He asked, and Conrad hesitated.

Conrad's mind buzzed with questions; some of them legitamate and some not so. Conrad and Gil had always had a prickly relationship, and Conrad was well aware that he wasn't particularly liked in the crime lab, especially by Gil's team.

"I want to know what you see in that gap-toothed little twit," he thought, but instead, asked,

"How long have you two been intimate?" He watched Gil frown in thought.

"About nine years." The CSI responded.

"Nine years?" Thought Ecklie, "is the old dog slipping, or what?"

Out loud, he said,

"You two need to get your stories straight." The surprise on Gil's face struck Conrad as hilarious, but he didn't show it.

"Must be a pretty boring relationship, if Sara can only remember two years," Conrad thought to himself, and looked across his desk at Gil.

"I'd advise you against any extra-curricular relationship with a subordinate, Gil. You know the Departmental Policies."

Gil didn't respond, but he sure did have a few choice words for Ecklie; just none that would be appropriate if he wanted to keep his job.

"I expect you and Sidle to have nothing more than a professional relationship at all times. Do I make myself clear?" Conrad warned.

"Yeah, you conceited ass," Gil thought, "you're just jealous because I'm in a relationship, period." Gil thought, but he didn't voice his opinion.

Ecklie might be an ass, but he was Head Ass, and that made it tough for any of the team to express their true thoughts in regard to anything at all. It didn't matter what it was, Ecklie would make it into a federal case, and pursue it to the highest level. No wonder he didn't have any friends.

"I've also been alerted that there may be more than a professional relationship between CSI Willows, and CSI Brown," Ecklie continued, and Gil feigned surprise.

"If there is," Gil said, "it's news to me."

"If there is," he thought silently, "it's none of your damned business."

It was Ecklie's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Are you telling me you don't even know what's going on between your own CSI's?" He asked, and Gil shook his head.

"I don't think my team's personal lives are any of my business, Conrad." Gil said, and rose from his chair.

"I'm not finished, Gil." Ecklie said as Gil walked toward the door.

"No you're never finished, you pencil necked moron," Thought Gil.

Aloud, Gil spoke, turning once more to face Ecklie.

"Conrad, there's more to life than running around micro-managing my team. Maybe you need to get laid."

"Oh shit," Gil whispered, wanting to give himself a good kick in the pants.

That last part just slipped out. Gil could care less about whether Ecklie needed to get laid; why the HELL had he said it out loud? He turned to look at Ecklie.

Conrad's face had paled, and his eyes were wide with shock. For once, the guy was totally speechless.

"I have to get back to the lab," Gil informed him, suddenly wondering if he was going to have a JOB to go back to.

With that, he exited Ecklie's office and moved down the hall at a pace that would make a racehorse jealous.

Ecklie sat staring at the closed door of his office for a long time, his thoughts turning madly. He'd always known he wasn't well liked, but Gil had never said anything regarding his sex life, much less that of anyone else's.

"Well, snap." Ecklie said aloud to himself, and shook his head.

"I've no response; I'm speechless."

Logging onto his computer, Ecklie began a game of Solitare, still not quite sure what to think of the conversation he'd just had with Gil Grissom. One thing was certain; Gil was right. Conrad really needed a girlfriend.