Snape and the evil giant fart part 3
Authors note:For those of you who don't know, Supernousomphone is Snape.
Severus Snape was in a pirticularly foul mood , not only because his AC had broke, but because he had just found out that his wife was cheating on him with none other than Harry Potter.He had found pictures in Samantha's handbag. Suddenly the door opened. In walked Sam.
"Hello" Said Supernousomphone in a cold voice.
"Oh sweetie, what's wrong? My it's hot in here."
"Yes, VERY hot indeed."
"Huh?"
Snape glared at Sam.
"Honey dumpling what's wrong?"
"I can't believe you.How long have you been seeing him?"
"What?Who?"
"Don't play dumb with me.You know who."
"Voldermort?"
"No no, I'm saying you know who it is!"
"Oh. Allright, Harry Potter." Sam started crying.
"STOP!That crying act isn't going to work with me my "Darling" Samantha!"
And with that Sam fled. About 1 month later, Snape got a call.
"Severus?I'm sorry. I left him."
"Sam?"
"Do you forgive me Snapie honey?"
"Well...I suppose."
"Sweetums? There's more.I'm Pregenant."
The words startled Snape so much that he let out an almighty "PFFFFFFFFFFFGGHRT!!!"
9 MONTHS LATER!!!!!!!
"Push Sam , push!"
PFFFFFFFTTTTTT!
"Hey someone forgot to give her the pooper stoper!"
To make her feel better, Snape joined in. PPPPPFFRYTHTGHGHGJGKVOQQTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!
"Holy Shit!" said one of the nurses and fell down dead.
"Watch your mouth ! Said Snape. The nurse had been cursing the entire time. God , Their baby would say nothing but shit just from lisenting to the nurse for 3 hours.
"Drugs!" Said Sam.
"You asked for it !" snape said.PFFFFFFFRRRRGHHHTTTTT!!!
"Ah, much better." Said sam.
7 HOURS LATER-
Snape had fallen asleep , slumped over in a chair in the waiting room.
"Mr.Snape?"said one of the nurses who hadn't gone into ICU after Snape's second blast.(Apparently she had been 30 blocks away before her shift started.She just missed it by one block.)
"Your little baby boy."
Snape took the baby.he had black hair like him. But something wasn't right.He didn't have sallow skin. He didn't look remotley chinese, especially not the eyes. In fact, instead of having black eyes like snape,
or hazel eyes like Sam, He had bright green eyes. Also, he had a lot of hair for a baby.And untidy hair at that. His hair wasn't hanging down limp, or greasy like Snape's. And he seemed to be squinting, as if he needed glasses. Could it be?
A FEW MINUTES LATER-
Snape and the baby were getting DNA tests. A loveley young woman walked out and handed Snape two envelopes. He opened the first one and looked at the baby's DNA count. Then, Slowly, with shaky hands, he opened his envelope, pulled out the piece of paper, and-
PFFFFFFFT!!
THE END!!!!!
Authors note:For those of you who don't know, Supernousomphone is Snape.
Severus Snape was in a pirticularly foul mood , not only because his AC had broke, but because he had just found out that his wife was cheating on him with none other than Harry Potter.He had found pictures in Samantha's handbag. Suddenly the door opened. In walked Sam.
"Hello" Said Supernousomphone in a cold voice.
"Oh sweetie, what's wrong? My it's hot in here."
"Yes, VERY hot indeed."
"Huh?"
Snape glared at Sam.
"Honey dumpling what's wrong?"
"I can't believe you.How long have you been seeing him?"
"What?Who?"
"Don't play dumb with me.You know who."
"Voldermort?"
"No no, I'm saying you know who it is!"
"Oh. Allright, Harry Potter." Sam started crying.
"STOP!That crying act isn't going to work with me my "Darling" Samantha!"
And with that Sam fled. About 1 month later, Snape got a call.
"Severus?I'm sorry. I left him."
"Sam?"
"Do you forgive me Snapie honey?"
"Well...I suppose."
"Sweetums? There's more.I'm Pregenant."
The words startled Snape so much that he let out an almighty "PFFFFFFFFFFFGGHRT!!!"
9 MONTHS LATER!!!!!!!
"Push Sam , push!"
PFFFFFFFTTTTTT!
"Hey someone forgot to give her the pooper stoper!"
To make her feel better, Snape joined in. PPPPPFFRYTHTGHGHGJGKVOQQTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!
"Holy Shit!" said one of the nurses and fell down dead.
"Watch your mouth ! Said Snape. The nurse had been cursing the entire time. God , Their baby would say nothing but shit just from lisenting to the nurse for 3 hours.
"Drugs!" Said Sam.
"You asked for it !" snape said.PFFFFFFFRRRRGHHHTTTTT!!!
"Ah, much better." Said sam.
7 HOURS LATER-
Snape had fallen asleep , slumped over in a chair in the waiting room.
"Mr.Snape?"said one of the nurses who hadn't gone into ICU after Snape's second blast.(Apparently she had been 30 blocks away before her shift started.She just missed it by one block.)
"Your little baby boy."
Snape took the baby.he had black hair like him. But something wasn't right.He didn't have sallow skin. He didn't look remotley chinese, especially not the eyes. In fact, instead of having black eyes like snape,
or hazel eyes like Sam, He had bright green eyes. Also, he had a lot of hair for a baby.And untidy hair at that. His hair wasn't hanging down limp, or greasy like Snape's. And he seemed to be squinting, as if he needed glasses. Could it be?
A FEW MINUTES LATER-
Snape and the baby were getting DNA tests. A loveley young woman walked out and handed Snape two envelopes. He opened the first one and looked at the baby's DNA count. Then, Slowly, with shaky hands, he opened his envelope, pulled out the piece of paper, and-
PFFFFFFFT!!
THE END!!!!!