The Scars We Carry
Sam was sequestered in his room at Pastor Jim's farm working on homework for a summer school program he was doing. John had agreed because Sam said he didn't have to go to school for it, he could fill the booklets out at home, and that if he did well he could graduate a semester early. Sam knew what was expected of him once school was over, he was supposed to join the family business full time and hunt down the thing that had killed his mother, and while Sam didn't want to do that, he knew that there was no way out for him, he had to stay, it was his family and that was all he had.
Caleb knocked on the door before pushing it open and flopping down on Dean's bed. Sam made a show of ignoring the older hunter, Caleb was Dean's best friend, and basically like another brother to Sam, but there was a twelve year age difference and the two men sometime had difficulty relating to one another.
"You know the point of knocking is waiting for someone to say it is okay to come in…" Sam said not looking up from his school work.
"Yeah well, I was trying to be semi polite, but I was going to ignore the snarky teenage 'fuck off' you were going to give me anyway, so I figured I would save us both some time." Sam snorted and closed the booklet in front of him, leaning back against the uncomfortable office chair.
"What's up Caleb?"
"Nothing, I was bored so I decided to come see what you were doing." Sam smirked; sometimes Caleb acted like he was twelve instead of twenty nine.
"I am afraid I won't be much help on the boredom front, I have an AP Algebra booklet, and a Psychology booklet to do." Caleb quirked an eyebrow at Sam.
"Psychology huh? I gotta ask, what the hell does your psychology textbook say about us?"
"Well… we are right up there with serial killers… and crazy military survivalists who live in underground bunkers like mole people." Caleb laughed.
"Well we may do military drills all the time, but at least we live on a farm instead of underground. Why are you doing school work all summer anyway? You know this is when regular seventeen year old boys get drunk and try to get laid right?"
"Why not? Hopefully it will knock off five months of high school… and meeting girls is kinda hard when you spend your summers on a farm in the middle od Kentucky."
"Yeah… we really need to get you out more. Soooo…. You are trying to get out of school early? Why? I thought you were one of those weird nerds that loved school." Sam shrugged.
"I don't want to drag this out longer then I have to…" Caleb sat up and moved down to the end of the bed facing Sam.
"So what? Once you are done high school that's it? You are just going to hunt?" Sam looked up at Caleb incredulously.
"What did you expect me to do?"
"I don't know… you've been talking about college for years…" Sam snorted.
"Please… my Dad would lose his mind..."
"Since when do you care what your Dad thinks?"
"Since always… he's still my Dad."
"What about Deuce?"
"What about him?"
"Do you think he would want you to go?" Sam shook his head.
"Did you know that Dean got a baseball scholarship to LSU?" Caleb tilted his head at Sam.
"He never told me that…" Caleb was shocked at that revelation; there weren't many secrets that they kept from each other.
"He never told anyone, I found the letter when I was packing one day… I never asked him about it, I didn't want to make him relive that."
"So… you think because he didn't go you shouldn't either?" Caleb asked carefully. "He is a born hunter Sam, he loves what he does, you're… different… you love all that bookworm crap."
"Caleb, I'm not stupid. I know I was the reason he stayed, maybe not the whole reason, but at least part of the reason. Dad and I would have killed each other if we were left alone for four years. So after all that he has done for me, and all he has sacrificed for this family, what does it say about me if I walk away now? He shouldn't be the only one who has to sacrifice things." Caleb opened his mouth to answer, before he heard the door downstairs slam shut and John yelling downstairs.
"That can't be good." Caleb said standing up, Sam followed closely behind him, walking into the kitchen where Jim and Bobby were standing with John Winchester who was yelling.
"I couldn't find him, and I had no back up what was I supposed to do!" John screamed slamming his fists against the counter.
"You were supposed to find a place your satellite phone worked and call us for help you jackass!" Bobby yelled back.
"What's going on?" Caleb asked. The three older men turned around looking between Caleb and Sam. Sam tensed, as he knew instantly what had happened. Sam stepped towards John leaving mere inches between him and his father.
"What did you do?" Sam asked with fire in his voice. John kept his face stern as he looked at his youngest son.
"The witch got the drop on us, and I couldn't get us both out of there…" Something in Sam snapped as he threw his father back against the wall. The air seemed to be sucked out of the room as no one made a move to separate the Winchester's
"You left my brother alone in the woods!?" Sam growled, slamming John against the wall one more time. Sam had grown over the past year and had packed on some muscle, but John could still take him down, if he hadn't been so shocked. Sam and John argued constantly, but they had never laid a hand on each other in ager before.
"I didn't have a choice! It was either that, or we both died!" Sam let go of his father as Caleb pulled him back by the back of his shirt. Sam went willingly but kept his gaze on his father.
"Dad, I swear to God, if anything happens to him, I am taking it out of your ass!" Sam fell back into Caleb as John's fist collided with Sam's cheek. Uncharacteristically, Jim stepped in and pushed John back against the wall. Jim was a man of words, not violence but John had gone to far.
"John Winchester you will not strike your child on my property! Now go wait in your truck, Samuel, Bobby, and Caleb will meet you out there, and you will bring Dean home." Jim let go of John and he headed towards the screen door, stopping for a second and peering at Sam one last time.
"Be pissed at me all you want Sam, but remember who is in charge here, if you are coming, you are fighting for me, leave the attitude behind." Sam eyed his father coldly, and the look made the rest of the men in the room uncomfortable because Sam was usually the sensitive one, the one who pulled the others back into humanity when they went a step to far, but at that moment he looked like hunter through and through.
I know who I am fighting for." Sam said evenly. "And it isn't for you." Sam turned and went up the stairs, while John slammed the door behind him heading back out to his truck. Jim turned back to the other two hunters in the kitchen.
"Bobby you ride with John, I think it would be better if Sam rode with Caleb."
"Yeah… good call Jim." Caleb said.
"Same for the hunt, normally I wouldn't say this, but keep the Winchester's apart on this one. Caleb stays with Sam the whole time."
"Yes sir, now I gotta go pack up, my best friend is out there in the woods and I plan on bringing him back before the sun comes up." Caleb replied.
"Bring him back in one piece… bring them all back in one piece."
"We will." Bobby said. Caleb headed up the stairs to grab his weapons, and headed out to the Jeep, Sam came out a few minutes later and slid into the passenger seat beside him, hiding his already bruising cheek behind his hair.
Caleb followed John's truck through the night, sparing glances over to Sam every once in awhile who still had that same cold blank look in his eye that had been present for the past few hours.
Sam was a hunter and a member of the Brotherhood, but he carried unique qualities in him that other hunters didn't have. Sam wasn't innocent by any means, he knew what was out there in the dark, he had killed monsters, ran into burning buildings and he saved innocent people from their worst nightmare without so much as a flinch, but he was also the only hunter out there that was born into this. He had no memory of his life before hunting, and he didn't remember what had brought him into the life.
He didn't have the hate in his heart that the rest of them did, and it was a quality that everyone loved about Sam, for most of the men in their family, Sam was a constant remember that there was still some good left in world.
Yet in that moment Caleb couldn't see that kid, he saw hate and fear in Sam's face, and couldn't find the five year old who helped him build bridges and believed in dragons, and that scared Caleb more then he would ever admit out loud.
"Hey Sammy? You okay?"
"I'm not the one being held in the woods by a pissed off witch, I'm fine."
"Yeah but… your Dad hit you pretty hard back there." Sam snorted.
"I've been hit harder then that by school yard bullies Caleb, I'm fine." Caleb swallowed hard.
"Sammy…"
"Don't. Whatever lecture you are about to give me can wait until we find my brother… he is what is important right now." Caleb couldn't hold back the laugh, which caused Sam to scowl at him. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing kid, I am just realizing that you could really give Deuce a run for his money with the protective Mama bear shit." Sam just shrugged his shoulders. Caleb and Sam stayed silent for the rest of the drive, until they pulled over on the side of the road and got out of the jeep walking up to John and Bobby.
"Alright, the cabin is about 1 mile North East into the woods, that is where she is holing up, hopefully she brought Dean there. If you see an opportunity to get Dean out of there take it, and I will come back and deal with the witch later, if not, she is human, and I am pretty sure she can be taken down. Everyone clear?"
"Yeah, lets go get him." Caleb answered; Bobby nodded his confirmation, while John narrowed in on Sam.
"Is that clear Sam?"
"Yeah, crystal." Caleb and Sam went off there own way, they would meet John and Bobby up near the cabin.
"Hey Sammy?" Caleb whispered.
"Yeah?" Sam replied.
"I want you to stay behind me okay? Don't take a shot at the witch unless you have to…" Sam frowned and lowered his gun a little bit, stopping for a second, watching Caleb carefully.
"Why?"
"Well because she may be a crazy bitch… but she is still human… I don't want you to have to take the kill shot…" Sam laughed coldly.
"She took my brother, and she is holding him captive somewhere in the woods. She is the definition of a monster, so if I have to kill her so be it, she is the exact same piece of shit I have been hunting all my life… worse even, she chose to be like this. No, I feel no guilt for having to put a bullet in her fucking head." Sam turned and continued towards the cabin. Caleb shivered and then jogged to catch up to Sam, it was going to be a long night.