This fiction is a series of relatively unconnected oneshots featuring various, mostly non-canonical, pairings, in various character perspectives and points of view. It is based off of the PSP translation. If you've any particular requests for a pairing, let me know.

This piece in particular is from Catiua in a first person point of view, taking place in the background of the events of Chapter 3L and 4L. It's meant to elaborate on her somewhat radical change of character, and give her some (unrealistic) reasoning for staying with Lanselot Tartaros and going from Light-only to a Sword-using, elemental casting Dark Priest.

I do not own Tactics Ogre.

Lies

Lanselot Tartaros is a dangerous man. His words are smooth as silk, yet stick with me like some atrocious mixture of sap and tar. When he speaks, I cannot help but listen; his words promise a brighter future and a continued strength for Valeria, his accent and vivid descriptions of what is to come are a sweet melody to my ears. Denam speaks identically to the Lodissian, all promises and dreams. Denam wants a better future, and revenge on the Dark Knights for what occurred at Golyat, but look how he ended up: condoning the deaths of thousands at Balmamusa, assisting in an assassination plot against his liege Lord, and being so devoted to his country that he abandoned even the one who was most loyal to him.

I'm so confused. I want to hate Tartaros, yet it is he who opens my eyes. He shows me the truth, and is leading me, and Valeria, on a path to a stronger, more secure future. He alerts me to Denam's lies and manipulations, and demonstrates how the man I once called 'brother' cares not at all for me, but only what I represent. To Denam, I am a key to the hearts of the people, as well as a representation of his own past. I "humanize" the unknown commander in the eyes of the masses. Tartaros destroyed Golyat, true, but I find myself apathetic to it now that I've stood by his side. When I met with him in Phidoch for the first time, before the Balmamusa massacre, I felt nothing but hate, but now that rage is gone now filled with. . .something else. It was not my family he destroyed, nor my father who lies dead by his hand. I've no reason to hold disdain for him.

Maybe if I repeat the words often enough, I'll eventually believe myself.

I'm not sure what provoked it, but I've started comparing Tartaros to Denam. As I feel myself distancing from my "brother," I get closer to the elder male, to the point where my gaze lingers a half-second too long, and my thoughts stray into unacceptable familiarity; I am using him to promote peace only - nothing else. Yet why do I keep thinking about the Loslorien Templar, and why has he built such a secure foundation within me? Denam and Tartaros are very similar, in manner and action. There is love and devotion for their country that surpasses all else. They've a determination that causes them to be willing to sacrifice everything, even the country's own people. Lanselot isn't as efficient as he could be, often spending the time to placate his followers and can even be seen as merciful in some of his actions. He knows the importance of putting on a good front, which Denam mastered early in his career as the "Hero of Golyat." Both act as a motivator for their followers, being not only their leader, but an idol who spawns order and unity.

But the similarities make the differences that much more obvious. Where Denam is weak, Tartaros is strong. Where young Denam is uncomfortable, the elder Lanselot is confident. Where Denam is insecure, Tartaros is not only secure, but elegant. Denam is a boy, but Tartaros is the man he will grow up to be. I cannot help but be attracted by the connection the two share. I want to hate myself for it, but, despite my anger, some feelings for Denam persist. I must continually work to lock them away, as they are a weakness and will do nothing but hurt my cause in the future.

I heard some of the Knight Commanders speaking, once. They keep their distance from me, but one can learn much through eavesdropping. The older man, Balxephon, says that the murder of Ronwey and rise of Denam is too much of a coincidence to simply ignore. I know the truth in his words, a truth Loslorien would be blind to. Denam did plot against Ronwey to secure power in his own hands, at the urgings of Leonar. It was a dangerous gamble, one of many actions I've recently disagreed with, and one of many plans where Denam has put the ends before the means. I'm frightened at the monster he has become and of the Ogre he will turn into. Perhaps he is no longer human at all.

On the subject of the Commanders, I found motivation in the most surprising of places: the female Templar, Ozma. We do not often speak with each other, but I watch her practice whenever she comes to Phidoch from Heim, which is unfortunately not as often as I'd like. She is beautiful not only in appearance, but also with her spells and her sword, often using both at once. I pale in comparison. I've decided to better myself, practice my swordplay, and to learn to cast elemental spells. I've no need to rely on anyone any longer.

When Lanselot thinks no one is looking, I watch as he sits, staring into nothingness and lost in thought. He catches me watching him, once, and gives me a strange, unreadable look. He looks more like a lost little boy than I'd have ever expected of a man of his caliber. His fingers caress the hilt of Ambicion unconsciously, almost as if searching for something. Without a word, Tartaros stands to leave, but looks up at me, his lone eye filled with dark shadows from his past. As he walks by he gently pushes my hair behind my ear without a word. Is that a sigh I hear, or is my imagination running away with me?

I've been training more, recently. Despite being nowhere near the skill of even the weakest of the Loslorien Templars, it has given me more confidence. I feel as if I can stand on my own feet. To blend sword skill with my newly trained elemental magic, I feel as if I'm starting a new chapter in my life. I've said goodbye to the Catiua who clings to the church and her brother, and in her place I welcome a new woman who will rule Valeria, even if I bend knee to Lodis to claim peace, unable to do so on my own. Lanselot tells me of my responsibilities as Princess often; it's a daunting task and, in all honesty, I'm not sure I'm up to it. There are times I can barely focus my mind around all of the duties, let alone act the theatre the politicians and commons demand of me. He must have seen my trepidation, as he consoles me that I certainly will not be ruling alone, but with the steady hand of a Lodissian "ambassador." I ask him if he would stay in Valeria and he seems amused, declining, saying that he had business in Lodis once his work here was complete. I felt my stomach sink then and I am surprised at my disappointment.

My newfound confidence is also a curse. I've gotten overconfident, claims Tartaros, and should not base my support on my blood alone. He claims I must show the people, with achievements rather than bloodline, that I am a capable ruler. Frustrated, I snap back, asking him of what achievements I've claim to. He replies, with a subtle annoyance, "Exactly."

It hits me hard, as he is completely correct. I've no reason, other than a fallen bloodline, to be with Lodis. I'm not a leader, let alone have any experience with it beyond what I've watched from Denam. From the start I knew that I was taken by the Lodissians simply to act a tool for Tartaros, but to have him openly speak of me with little regard for my personal feelings wounds me. All of the work I've done to improve myself, and he still has yet to recognize me as more than a instrument to further his machinations. I beg for acceptance and acknowledgment, and get neither.

I've heard aging women from Golyat say that the more you love someone, the more it hurts when you're rejected. Yes. Yes, Denam and Lanselot Tartaros are very much alike.

Please review if you enjoyed it, or see any glaring flaws that should be fixed.

I'm thinking of ArycelleVyce next.