* * *
One day, I was listening to the radio, and the song "Black Balloon" just happened to play. At the same time, I was desperate for fic ideas. Right away (well, maybe not *right* away...), I thought, Hey, 'Black Balloon' rhymes with 'fat buffoon'... Palmer's a fat buffoon. Now there's a coincidence. And as much as I disliked writing about Palmer, the presence of the Turks made up for it, I suppose. Anyway, onto the spoof/song/thing.
* * *
(Sung to the tune of "Black Balloon" by the Goo Goo Dolls)
Reno
Palmer's a fat buffoon with no grace.
He almost ate me with that hole in his face.
And he never does his job
'Cause he's a complete moron,
A face to shun.
Elena
A dozen of my lipstick tubes stolen;
I bet the fat oaf took them all.
There's a grotesque air about him
That causes a stink in the hall,
That's why Rude's bald.
All
He fell down, we fell right over.
Air's more clean when he's not here.
A heart attack when he's not much older
Is a wish we all share.
Tseng
Secrets were kept from public view
'Bout the man we wish we never knew,
Such as the trail he leaves of goo
That we accidentally found.
It burned through the ground.
All
He fell down, we fell right over.
Air's more clean when he's not here.
A heart attack when he's not much older
Is a wish we all share.
Rude
And he ate all my head wax.
Time to plan his death.
All
He fell down, we fell right over.
Air's more clean without him here.
A heart attack when he's not much older,
All because he...
He fell down, we fell right over.
Air's more clean without him here.
When he dies we'll all be happy, and
All because he...
(All because he...)
And we'll kill him,
And celebrate this feat!