My Sacred Lunch Time
by Polydicta
Ron has been affected by a potion designed to give a feeling of spirituality. Weasley bashing. Distressing table manners.
Disclaimer:
All fiction is derivative and fan fiction doubly so. I make no claim to own any part of any of the following, all I have done is an attempt to put together the elements in a novel fashion, using words and ideas like Lego ™ bricks.
There is no money involved – all I do is to share what I do for my own amusement.
-::::::::-
My Sacred Lunch Time
.
"What the …?"
"Merlin's beard, what's that?"
The creature shambled into the Great Hall. It was stood about six feet tall, bone thin with orange hair. It was wearing the tattered remains of what could, once, have been a Hogwarts school robe … and a pair of Chudleigh Cannons boxers about its waist.
It's vast, salivating mouth was leaving a trail of drool, it's outsized nose scenting the air, following the aromas of hot food.
There was a loud grumbling noise coming from it's capacious belly, a demand, presumably, that it be filled.
.
The creature slumped beside the Gryffindor table and it began piling food into its mouth using two shovel like hands. As it chewed, it started mumbling and muttering, allowing partially eaten lunch to spray across the tables.
After clearing enough food for easily two dozen students, it stopped eating and fell asleep where it sat, snoring loudly enough to wake the dead.
.
"Severus? What were the sixth year Gryffindors preparing in Potions this morning?"
"Breath of Spirituality Draught, Headmaster. Why?"
"Correct me if I'm wrong, Severus, but if you add the Golden Rod before the silver snarf beetle eyes, don't you get Wortzenol Potion?"
The Potions master nodded. "You do, but why do you ask?"
Dumbledore led the potions master into the Great Hall where the creature was sleeping.
Smirking, Snape simply said, "The potion appeared to be the correct colour, Headmaster. I can only assume that Mr Weasley has experienced a religious epiphany, although I do agree that we seem to be seeing him warts and all."
Shaking his head, Albus Dumbledore determined to make an entry on Ronald's records. Under the heading 'religion', it would now, forever say 'Food Worshipper'.