(I attened something called Challange day today. It was the best experiance of my life, So I thought I'd share it with Santana. Some of whats in this story is close to what I heard today but it's not. I just wanted to say if you get the chances to ever do this. Do it.)
I huffed hitting the alarm next to the picture from on my bed side tabe. "Morning Britts." I smiled seeing the picture in the frame. I streached till I heard a healthy pop. Stummbled to my closet and pulled out the red and white Cheerio's uniform out. Today was going to be a very, very long day. I heard my phone buzz and moved swiftly to see who was texting me. I smiled reading the screen.
'What do I bring 2 day?
Brittany(^_^) '
'Just u in clothes an a smile.
S'
I texted back. I got a repy a moment later, an okay and giggled at the thought of going to school naked. I smirked thinking of an very bad reply. I decide to just text see you in a few. I dropped the phone on to my bed and changed. Today was going to be an experences. Every one I knew that had gone through the day before had cried. Today was what they called Challange day. Other than that I didn't know much else.
The luched room chattered with 'I'm on bus one.' and 'I don't go to day' I moved through the fimillar crowds that parted like the Red Sea at the sign of red and white. I pulled out my normal chair next to Britt and smiled at the blondes beside me. "Late again San." I smirked at Quinn.
"Bell hasn't rang, I ain't late." She smiled.
"Cutting it close." She said in a smug tone. Brittany must of got that I was ready to get into it with the other blonde cause she laid her hand just above my knee and gave me a light squeeze.
"San did you see the Animal Planet special on bears?" She asked hopefully. I smiled back but shook my head.
"No Britts I missed it." She frowned but keep talking anyway.
"Oh well did you know that Polar Bears are all insesting bears from Ireland?" I looked at her confused for a moment, and she just nodded and smiled. Polar bears. Polar bears. Then it hit me. Polar Bears all evolved from a common Mama bear in Ireland some 20,000 to 50,000 year ago. It was something I'd learned back in seventh grade when some kid did a report on them. I smiled liking Britts take on it much better.
"Come on the bells going to ring and I don't want to have to fight a crowd to the buses." Quinn barked to the other Cheerio's. "S, Britt, are you ready?" She asked in a much smoother tone. Brittany nodded and stood grabbing my hand and pulling me up in one move.
"Ready!" Brittany beemed. I smiled than snapped my bitch look on as we begain to move towards the exit. Again the room split like the Red Sea only this time it wasn't for the red and white. It was because The Unholy Trinity had stood and all begain to move at the same time. And everyone knows the best thing to do is to move,out of the way or be fucked.
"Hello Santana, I couldn't help but observe that you are the only Cheerio on the first bus, and we are the only Glee kids on the first bus. So I was..." I cut Rachel off, I was actually supised I listened as long as I did.
"No." I pushed pass the girl and kept walking down the hall leaving her on her own. Before we got to the end of the hall Brittany stopped. Quinn kept moving leading the girls to the bus. "B whats the matter?" I asked noting the serious look on her face. She looked up from the spot on the ground she'd focused on for a minute. Her blue orbes had never been so sturn.
"San..." She paused almost as if she was looking for the right words. "Santana. Please. Be you today." She didn't let me responed she walked out the double doors and on to the second bus.
I spent the bus ride over thinking about Brittany. Nothing new but the thoughts weren't the normal thoughts that I had thinking about her. Instead I had that one damn sentence running through my head. "Please be you today." I huffed. I'd popped in my head phones once I noted Rachel sitting across from me. I felt my body tremble as the song 'Just Friends' begain to play. "You really like Amy whinehouse don't you?" I turned to face Dave, when the bus started to get packed it was either him or Berry.I changed the song and 'Alanis Morissette You owe me nothing in return' came on. "Okay then." We weren't friends and if he had expexted something else he was insane.
Figgins lead us into a large builling and we stood outside a gym for a moment. Brittany didn't come over to me like Quinn did. She moved towards the Glee club. I know it's not that she was mad, it was just that she didn't want to hear me lie to her. She was right not to come over to me, cause I had deiced the night before that I wasn't going to let anything anyone said get to me. Once we were let inside we were greeted by a tunnel of adults screaming and giving us high fives as we walked in. Quinn truned to give me a look the moment she saw Shuester in the line, and I matched it with an eye roll. Of coures he was here the red head dating the hot dentist organized the whole thing. As if she was reading my mind. Quinn turned and said. "Speack of the devil." There was tall dark and theethy satnding in the line giving out high fives. "Hey Santana, Quinn come on high five." Mr Shue smiled giving a creeper grin and sticking his hand in the air. Quinn looked at me and rolled her eyes but high fived the man anyway.
"Santana?" He offered his hand. I looked him straight in the eyes. And with an insult on the tip of my toung, Britt's voice played throught my head. 'Santana. Please. Be you today.' What would I do if I was me. Huffed. He still had that stupid ass girn on his face. So I walked away; without the high five.
The beganing of the day was slow, I'm not going to lie. They talked about, the history of the program, about the steps of what we would be doing. "Be the change you wan't to see in the world." That was the main motto of the day. And as Kayla; the girl that had been doing most of the mornings talking, told us the words repetedly she added the steps to this program. Notice. Choose. Act. Notice things. Choose what your going to do about it. And do it. I felt that sting in my chest as Brittany's voice continued to play after everyone of her words. "If you see a kid sitting there alone." Be you today. "If you see a boy whose getting thrown into the lockers." Be you. "If you see a girl trying her hardest to be invisible." Be you. "Talk to them." Be you. "Say hello." Be you. I tried to shack Brittany from my mind as Kayla handed the microphone to the guy that was by the sound board I'd just noticed.
"Hey guys my names Jack and we're about to play a game." he had us jump out of our chairs with enthusiasum as he said we're going to play a game again. Again not what this is all about, like the beganing of the day the game wasn't that thrilling, we were suppose to run for dear life across the room and get a new seat if what Jack said applied to us, if we happen to be the last person to sit down, we had to dance. Being one of the top Cheerios ment that this wasn't a challange at all. And since the last person got to dance. Britt walked in slow motion to the other side of the room, and still made it before some of the other kids. So she waited for everyone to take a seat before she gave hers to Finn. Jake found this funny but Britt's is a serious dancer and when he told her. "I can't dance so I'm just going to do whatever you do." She took it as a challange. Witch I loved. Afterwards they gave us a little break but not before having us walk over someone we'd never talked to before and stand by them for 'a moment' I spotted a mid hight red head that I'd never seen before. Be you. Right and me would be me for you. So with Britt in my head I walked over to the girl who was shortter apon my arival. I did the one thing I only did around my Britt Britt and I smiled. "Hi." She smiled back. "So we should, I don't know you so...wanna pair up?" She seemed to jump at the idea, But then hesitated.
"Your Santana Lopez." I nodded.
"I am and you are?" She didn't seemed to believe that I was real as she slowly reached out and poked my arm. "And I don't like to be poked." I said in a serious tone. She jumped back but smiled again.
"Okay I'll be with you. And its Jade." After a moment, a real moment they told us that we would have a break and that we couldn't leave the side of the person we were with until the break was over. We were told to share our dreams.
I didn't take long for things to get serious, it seemed like minutes when really it had been a few hours, but they numbered us off and into groups of five we sat in circles facing one and other. They asked if we we're our family, then our friends, girlfriends or boy friends, best friends; and if we were they moved us. Until we were in circles with people we've known but never really knew. Four students, two adults in my group: Miss Dalada who'd mad my bad list the day she marked Britt down a letter grade for a report done in crayon; Mr Harold, the school cop; Jacob Ben Israel, aka Jew fro; Lani, a girl I've never seen before; Rachel Berry, of course we'd get stuck in the same fucking group. They told us to small take for a moment anything we wanted to talk about. Our group sat in silence for a second until Miss Dalada or as Katie as her name tag read broke our silence. "Jacob your part of the A.V. club right?" Once the words were out everyone zoomed in on Jacob. I was shocked that Rachel didn't take the moment talk. The stopped us after two minutes and asked everyone what they talked about, the answers were common. 'pets', 'brothers and sisters', 'favorite foods.' simple things. Then Kayla and Jake asked us to make a small ampitheater around them, witch took a minute. Once all lined up I took note of the people beside me. A Cheerio; Shyla, I think. And again Rachel fucking Berry, its like I couldn't get away from her. Be you. You do like Rachel's self exceptence.
"So I'm going to tell you guys right now, we'd never make you do something that we wouldn't do. " Kayla said. "So right now I'm going to share something with you. I grew up in a small family, like really really small it was just me, my little sister and our parents. I live on the nice side of town, in a big house, everyone on my block knew one and other. From the outside looking in we were a perfect family. But everynight, when the lights when out the house was full of yells, and screams." Kayla's hands shook a little and she put the mic down; we were close enough that she didn't even really need it. "I prayed that the yelling would stop, I begged, and I pleaded. Well I must of begged to hard. Because on day the yelling stopped, the screams stopped. All to the slam of the front door. I sat there in my bed at seven years old and waited for what seemed like a life time, of slience and then I heard this faint sound, my mother. Sobbing." I heard a sniffled that captured my attention and turned my head to see Rachel wiping her eyes. Be you. Without another thought my hand was on her knee giving her a soft squeeze. She jerked but then relaxed without looking up. "I went down stairs after three hours of hearing the weak sounds of my mother, and I found her on the floor of our kitchen, with her knees to her chest. I was seven years old, I had no idea what was going on. Whats wrong? Thats all I could ask, she looked up at me and as if I was a thirty year old woman my mother said your father slept with his assistance, we're getting a devoirce and he's moving out. My relationship with my mother has never been the same. My little sister was three. Up in her room sleeping. My mom had to start working dead end jobs at all hours to keep us in a house. I took care of Lexi, I fed her, bathed her, changed her, took her to her first day of school. Til she was 12 yeas old. When I was sixteen years old I came home from school to find a note. 'Kayla, I have to work a hour longer then normal, please feed your little sister.' One hour. One of my moms jobs, was a temp. She was temping for a banking assistance that week. She got off at 3:00pm when I got out of school. So there I was sixteen, sitting in my kitchen at 12:00am and mom isn't home yet. I was scared, my father left, why not my mother." I turned to face Rachel completly and this time it wasn't sniffles, she was full out sobbing. I guess never knowing you mother meeting her and have her choose a new baby over getting to know you dose that to you. Be you. How would I comfurt B if she was sobbing like this. I moved closer to her so that she knew someone had turn to focus on her, rubbing light circles with my thumb on Rachel's my hand slightly above her knee. "At 2:00am my mother came through the door, with tears pouring down her face. And the first thing out of my sixteen year old mouth was 'Where were you?' Kalya she said this burning in her eyes. The back was robbed. The man had a gun, a bullet almost grazed my ear. My relationship with my mother changed that day and it has never ever been the same." Kayla was crying, Rachel was crying and in my line of sight, Quinn was crying her eyes lining up with Rachel. Kayla didn't say anything else she just handed the mic to Jake, and took a seat infront of us.
"So like Kay said we don't wont to ask you to do anything we wouldn't. So something you guys should no about me is that I'm a momma's boy. Anyone else?" A few boys raised the hands and I jerked feeling Rachel's hand on my mine. I looked over and noticed the confused look on her face as she exzamined my hand. She looked up and over at me. I pulled my hand away, but not to fast. Be you. I smiled, "You okay?" I asked. She looked even more confused. Be you. I looked back at Jake who was already half way through his speech.
"See I didn't know my dad, Twenty four years and I'd never met the man. So I went to my uncle and said 'hey man I wanna meet my dad.' he said you sure and I said coures man, so he picked up the phone punched a few numbers and bam. I was talking to my dad for the first time in my life. He had a thick acssent. I found out I'm half hispanic in that phone call for the first time in my life. We arranged a meeting and within an hour I was meeting the man that had been missing in my life for TWENTY. FOUR. YEARS. When I saw him for the first time I had some many questions. Where were you? Did you think of me? Why did you go? Was I not good enough for you? Did you have anyother kids? Did you know I don't know how to through a baseball? I've never been camping. I've never not thought about you. Did you know that I had dreams about the day we'd meet? Did you? Why didn't you call? Why didn't you write? But I didn't asked them." Rachel was crying again, and so was I. Be you. I was sobbing. Be you. "We went into a the dinner we were at and he told me. You know I wanted to wright you, I wan't to call, but I didn't know where you were, or what I'd say. He told me he loved me. Over. And. Over. I left that dinner happier then I'd ever been. I called my friends, my aunts and uncles, told them hey I met my dad. The last person I told was my mother. I told her and she just started sobbing. I said no no mom it's okay we talked we're cool. And you know what she told me? She said. Baby boy I begged him to go and spend time with you, he's always known where we lived. He's always had our phone number. He lied to you." Rachel was sobbing again, Quinn had her face in her hands: balling. I assumed it was the same reason Rachel was crying. Rachel's mother had Quinns baby girl. Jake finished his story and told us. "We are going to play If you really knew me. And your going to do what we just did, I want every one to go back to your little familys and then we'll start."
We sat in slience all of us thinking of a day in the life of us. Be you, Be you , Be you. "Okay we are going to ask one person in each group to raise their hand if they're willing to start students first." Again our group didn't move. "If no one wants to go, can an adult start?" Katie smiled took a deep breath and started. I can't say much about her story but it made something click for once. Many why she was such a bitch to Brittany. No one had pushed her and she was three years behind on education. They had the person to the right of the person talking go next, witch for us was Jacob. The boy got quite for a good twenty seconds. "If you really knew me... You'd know that I get a slushy to the face 39 times a day, I've never had a girlfriend and I've been thinking about suicde for the last week an half." He was quick and to the point and we weren't aloud to cut anyone off of tell them anything, we could hug and show them that some loved them through the sign langue. Be you. So thats what I did I showed him on my hand then I wrapped the short grezzy boy in a hug. Then it hit me that it was my turn.
Be you. Be you. Be you I had a flash of public moments Britt's and I had over the two years . It s this one, I say tapping Britts hand when she rasies her left hand instead of her right during a Glee Club meeting. It s the first genuinely sweet interaction between us infront of them."If you really knew me... " When I drew her name for Ballads "Hmmm...Brittany." Really the Hmm did I need that? But her excitment was amazing."You'd know I'm in love with my best friend," Sectionals Brittany let it slip that she and I are sleeping together when after I noted that, Sex is not dating, and then Brittany responeded with, If it were Santana and I would be dating." "that I harden my shell because if I don't someone will hurt her and it'll be my fault, I might as well have done it myself." On our double-date with Finn we offered to make out in front of him. "You'd know that I could care less about my reputation." Crossing pinkies and resting heads together as Kurt sings This House is not a Home. and again Over the Rainbow. "that it's not my well being I fear for." We listened to Rachel sing What I Did for Love with my legs over Brittany s lap. "You'd know that I'd do anything just to make sure the world sparkles for her." Brittany also told Sue, figgins and Shue she wants to touch Coach Beiste s breasts than told me about it infront of Finn."because I don't want her to know that people don't undestand why to girls just fall in love." We got our anesthesia on together and dance to Me Against the Music, in a combined fantisy."You'd know that I love Glee club." Britt's flashed me that no-no boobies sign in the middled of the hall way and no one seemed to say anything. "Because I love to sing and I get to she her happy and dance along people that we thought we'd never be friends with." Pluse we tottally skipped and twirled down the hallway together. And I pantsed Britt's once after a Cheerios win. "If you really knew me... you'd know that I watched as someone went though the teasing."And when I sang Valerie Brittany slapped my ass and I beckoned her to me in front of a hundred strangers."That I teased him with them." And I publicly told Britts I love her someone other then us had to hear that. It was like a flash every little moment every touch. "You'd know that I'm utterly sorry because really I was teasing myself. If you really knew me, you'd know that I love musicals, and I just want to be able to hold the hand of the love of my life without fearing anything."
I can't tell you what happend after this, I can't tell you Rachel's story because honstly I can't begain to repeat it without turning into a new born. I can tell you that I felt miles closer to the pint sized diva afterwards. And believe it or not that wasn't the part of the day that I remember the most. After If you really knew me. We did the line activity. There's two lines, you stand on one side and they call out something, things along the lines of 'if you've ever' and if you have you cross the line. It's to show you your not alone. With each thing Kayla called out I started to think 'Maybe I should just stay over on this side.' because I crossed the line almost every single time. The only time I didn't was when the question was for the boys. I trembled crying, wathcing Brittany, Rachel, Mike, Tine, Finn, Puck. Kurt, Shuester and even Sue cry and cross the line over and over and over. When the day came to an end they had us do one more thing. We went and said or 'sorrys' and 'thank yous' stay right were I was the first thing I did was tell Rachel how sorry I was for everything I'd ever done to her, we had so much more in common than I would have ever imagined. And I was glad that Rachels one of the most forgiving people in the world. I turned to leave and she grabbed me by the arm.
"Santana I'm sorry." She cought my confused look. "I told you the only job you'd ever have was on a pole, and that's not true. Your an amazing singer and great person." She smiled and hugged me before turning to the long line of people waiting to apoligise to her. Not suprisingly Quinn was at the front of that line. I made rounds apoligising to people evey second. I hadn't really thought about the shit I talked or did until that moment. I felt this gut sicking feeling as I said sorry and heard people giving thank yous' to one and other.
"Sanny.." I turned Gods greatest creation. "Thank you for letting me love you." It made my heart stop. I felt her arms squeezing before I could responed. So I wrapped my arms the blonde spoke, not whispered.
"Thank you for loving me. You're more than my best friend Brittany, your everything to me." I smiled as she pulled back her baby blues deeper then ever full of watery tears.
"I love you." She didn't let me say it back she captured my lips in a kiss that wasn't to long and wasn't to short. A kiss that said I love you, I care for you, I'll nver leave you, I'm yours and I don't care who knows it!
(I hoped you liked it, and remember if you get the chance to go, go its life changing.)