Title: List of Nasty Things to Do
Author: Me! (Dataxia)
Summary: Mikoto Uchiha is sick and tired of having to deal with her youngest son and his awful behavior. She send him to live with his father and older brother, not knowing the all the chaos that will ensue.
Pairing: Sasuke/Naruto
Rating: Ages 13+ for now… Rating will go up as the story progresses.
Genre: Humor, AU, Romance
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Word Count: 3,176
Warnings: OOC (as I am not great with Character analysis, but I am trying my best. Putting this up as a precaution)
This has been Beta'd by: Queen Sophia
Annoying your parents to the possible extent was really fun. It is the greatest joy one can have. Blasting your rock songs from your room with the door open so everyone can hear, screaming along with the songs, and just for the hell of it, switching to "Shut Up" by Simple Plan when your parents come charging into the door. Oh yeah, life couldn't get any better.
That was what Sasuke thought before he met Naruto. Before he knew that, there was something, more vial, more disgusting, and even more thrillingly annoying than listening to heavy rock. When he had met Naruto and realized this opportunity to make take it up a notch, or three, he took it willingly and without a thought.
If only he knew what kind of troubles would come galloping behind.
-Step One: The Move-
Sasuke sat on the counter of his kitchen with the faucet running cold water through its pipes. There was a scream above him in the bathroom when he smirked and jumped off the counter, shutting off the water while doing so. The dark-haired boy slipped into the living room where all his books, clothes, and food lay about and sat down on the couch picking up a pencil and some paper, starting to write. Sasuke felt the door to the bathroom slam open and shut. The footsteps to the staircase did nothing but put an amused smirk on his face.
"Sasuke!" Mikoto yelled from the top of the stairwell. She stomped her feet as she climbed down the stairs with her bathrobe on, securely in place. Her long black hair was wet, dripping with water and shampoo lather. It soaked her bathrobe at the collar. The long, creamy white legs that stamped down to the first floor dripped with now extremely cold water onto the staircase. She heard the noise of the TV blaring since she escaped her igloo ice trap of a shower and knew exactly where to go. Mikoto stomped her way into the living room with both hands on her hips.
At first, the young mother was horrified by the storm that happened to hit her clean living room. How in the world did he manage to make such a big mess in such a small amount of time? Her dark gray eyes scanned the room, looking for its target. With all the food, drinks, and apparel laid about it was hard discovering the mop of dark hair. When she did, she locked on the figure and approached the loveseat, kicking away the khaki pants and tie from her path.
"Sasuke Uchiha, you clean this mess up right now!" the older brunette yelled at her youngest son. For a moment, she forgot why she had come down in the first place. His innocent look and the small smirk that Sasuke had given her reminded her of why exactly she had stormed down to the living room in the first place.
"Did you turn the cold water on?" Mikoto asked. She glared at her son. Mikoto's features were too soft and delicate, and thus Sasuke's smirk grew wider. He loved it when his "sweet" mother tried to act authoritative.
"I might have, just to get some water. I didn't know you'd be in the shower at the time." He lied through his teeth. Mikoto knew it too.
"Sasuke, for the last time, stop turning on the cold water when I'm bathing!"
"Not even to get a cold glass of water?" Sasuke tapped to the beat of the music blasting from the television. His mother's annoyance grew and she growled.
"You don't even like tap water." And with that, she took the television's remote control, shutting off the blasted device.
"I grew accustomed to it."
Mikoto continued to glare. "By the time I get out of the shower and dressed, this living room better be cleaned and you have better be doing your homework, young man. No more shenanigans."
"Yes mother," Sasuke mocked. He smiled sweetly, enjoying the pure annoyance radiating from his biological mother. A sort of sick twisted glee shook his body as his mother left. Sasuke could not let the twisted smile hide from his face, and so he let it out and chuckled. His laughter grew when he heard the loud "oomph" of his mother's fall. It seemed like she slipped on the water that dripped from her body. Sasuke heard the curses emitting from the small mouth and he sighed, content with his efforts.
"Sasuke, why did you put the cold water on right when I was taking a shower? Do you know how horrifying it is to suddenly go from warm water to blistering cold? It's bad enough that you make a mess in this house and then just leave it there, but do you have to pull stupid stunts like that all the time?" Mikoto rambled on. She was fresh out the shower and clothed in a navy blue dress that reached to her knees. Her hair was let down and Sasuke could see that it was growing longer. He remembered cutting his mother's just a month ago and felt the urge to do so again. Sasuke also recalled the punch his elder brother gave him. He still had the bruise on his chest from the blow. The urge died down just a bit.
The living room became clean, but the television was back on. A crowd of teens and adults were screaming on the TV screen as they watched a concert. Women were taking off their tops and underwear on screen and throwing it at the band on stage. Sasuke watched, not mesmerized, but clearly amused at the censored nudity on the TV screen. Sasuke used the cheering crowds of some concert to ignore his mother's chastising words.
"Sasuke can you please turn that down and listen to me?" His mother pleaded.
"I don't know where the remote is, sorry." He continued to ignore her and watched someone be tossed in the air by the massive crowd and carried in mosh-pit fashion until he was dropped and horribly stomped on.
"Ouch." Sasuke smiled at the pain the anonymous individual faced.
"Tomorrow you will move in with your father and Itachi." Somehow, her words cut through the band's guitar solo and the cheering fans. Sasuke's heart stopped and his eyes grew.
"What? You can't do that! It was my choice to live here with you, you just can't send me over there-it's not right!" Sasuke yelled at his mother. She gave off a smug look and wrapped her hands around herself.
"What was that? I can't hear you with the TV so loud." She feigned hearing loss, but she heard him perfectly well. The remote magically appeared from underneath Sasuke and in his hands; he shut the box off.
"Are you serious? You can't send me there," Sasuke regained his composure and pouted, "I won't go."
"Sorry Sasuke, your school has been notified and your father already fixed a room for you in his house. You'll leave tomorrow afternoon."
"I'm not going," the youngest Uchiha declared.
"You don't have a choice in the matter."
"It's not right, you can't make me go."
"You are not right, Sasuke. At any little moment, you have the urge to just do something completely terrible and intolerable." At this, she pointed her well-manicured finger at Sasuke. "Your father and I have already spoken about this and he is willing to let you stay while being disciplined. When you learn to behave you can come back, if you wish." The last part she whispered. Mikoto was afraid of losing her son because of this. She loved him of course, between her two children, Sasuke was secretly her favorite as he was the youngest. Sasuke was everything she had left.
However, with him behaving like a lunatic, she feared for both their safety and sanity. Wherever he would go, Sasuke would cause some sort of trouble, whether it was bullying someone at school or torturing his own mother at home. Her youngest son needed to learn some respect and self-control, before it was too late.
"You can't force me to leave, mother." And with that Sasuke left the room and went upstairs to his bedroom. He slammed the door shut. In a few minutes, Mikoto could feel the bass of his stereo system through the wooden floors and sighed.
"Good luck Fugaku."
Mikoto sat on the foot of her bed, early in the morning. She had some time before she needed to prepare breakfast and start Sasuke's lunch for the day. In the darkness, she sat and thought of her youngest son.
Since he was of walking age, Sasuke would always be active. He trailed after his older brother, copying his every move. Sasuke was smart for his age, and he learned very quickly. The little boy was also quiet and sweet, getting flowers for his mother and watching Itachi train in the dojo. He never said more than a few words and just watched other people, observing them. No one had suspected a thing.
It was strange at first when Itachi's homework would get lost. Fugaku simply thought Itachi was making up excuses for not doing his schoolwork. That of course led to many fights in the household, in which Mikoto would try to patch up. She would comfort Itachi and help the boy find his work before the night ended. After a few times of Itachi's homework disappearing, keys to Fugaku's car would vanish from the holder. It was never like her husband (now Ex) to misplace her keys. She had her suspicions but doubt clouded her mind, aided by the fact of no proof being found.
As time went on patterns appeared throughout the household. A red or blue sock would wind up in the white laundry, tinting an entire load. Sometimes multiple clothing articles would be found crating tie-dye effects on the clothes. Other times Mikoto would find her clothes bleached and destroyed by Clorox. The mother of two would begin to question herself at such times. Other misfortune around the household took place as the shampoos were switched, or the food suddenly became rotten and swelled with insects. The adults (and one teen) could not figure out what was wrong.
Then, one day Mikoto caught him. She remembered the entire scene as if it were yesterday.
Sasuke was eight years old at the time. It was close to Itachi's birthday and the summer came early that year. In an attempt to seem like a happy household, despite Fugaku and Mikoto's problems, both parents invited the clan members to a birthday barbeque to celebrate Itachi's birthday.
The entire clan was outside in the back yard of their big and beautiful house. Parents and children of every Uchiha came to celebrate Itachi's day. Someone had informed Mikoto that the punch had run out. As an excellent hostess, Mikoto walked into the empty house to make more. Before she reached the kitchen, she heard a noise. The shuffling of little feet caught her attention. A chair scraping across the wooden kitchen floors. It was so silent that Mikoto heard the small gleeful laugh of her child and a pop of a bottle. When Mikoto walked by the threshold she was surprised.
Sasuke stood on a chair reaching the counter, pouring liquid soap into the extra punch container. The young child filled the up the bowl until the soap was half gone. He then used a spoon to mix in the punch and drown the dense material so that it was only noticed when tasted. The smile Sasuke used was so evil; it was unlike one she's ever seen on children other than in horror movies. Mikoto was shocked at the time and could not do anything but watch as Sasuke finished with the punch bowl and reached for the chocolate birthday cake she had ordered three weeks ago. The woman watched in horror as Sasuke planted dirt in the cake. His smile grew as he implanted a worm and other wriggly insects inside the cake and smoothed over the icing, making sure that the hole was not noticed.
The little boy then stepped off his chair and cleaned his hands of the dirt, leaving from the other exit.
Mikoto had to throw out the cake and the punch, choosing to deal with Sasuke later. The mother was too shocked to act to anything that she had witnessed and disposed of the evidence. Whenever anything went wrong in the house, Mikoto knew that it was no accident; it was her youngest baby, Sasuke.
Ever since her divorce with Fugaku, Sasuke had acted strangely. He wouldn't talk to anyone unless to snap at them. He didn't pull any of his pranks or pretend to be "clumsy." This seemed to be the calm before the storm. One day Sasuke cracked and became disrespectful in school. The school had called Mikoto for Sasuke strange behavior. At first Mikoto thought it was a lapse of judgment. As cruel as his pranks may have been Sasuke was always an innocent face, hiding behind his effeminate looks. But as time went on his actions escalated. He was becoming sloppy, self-centered, and downright horrendous. No matter how many times she tried to talk to him, he would brush her off or just ignore her while staring right at her. It was only when she talked to Fugaku about Sasuke that she felt such desperation and failure of being a mother. Fugaku, in turn, feeling that he could not help Sasuke from such a distance, gave her the idea that their sons should switch places at least for a month or so, just until Sasuke learned to behave. Mikoto agreed half heartedly.
After talking to Itachi about it he decided that he should stay with his father to watch Sasuke also. Fugaku could not be everywhere Sasuke was and needed an extra hand just in case Sasuke did something extra devious.
"I'm sorry mother," Itachi said after explaining to her that he would be leaving her alone.
Mikoto shuddered at the memory. She lifted her bed sheets and put her feet inside the slippers, only to scream as thumbtacks embedded themselves into her feet. Sasuke smiled in his room and then went back to bed.
Sasuke watched as his mother packed his clothing in a suitcase. He stood by the threshold of his room, glaring at the woman for everything she touched.
"You do know that I still refuse to go, right? Despite you packing up all of my clothing," Sasuke said in a snarky tone. Mikoto simply turned around with a pair of his boxers in her hand.
"I don't care if you want to go or not. Your show of remorse this morning really was pitiful." Mikoto watched her son smirk at the memory. "Sasuke, why can't you just be nice for once? Why can't you just talk to me rather than try to destroy me?"
The teen rolled his eyes at the plea. "I'm not trying to destroy you, mother."
"Actions speak louder than words, and you sure are telling me a lot when you shove thumbtacks into my house-slippers." With that, Mikoto started packing again and her son started to glare again.
The doorbell rang downstairs and echoed throughout the house. "That should be your brother, please go and get the door."
"You get it." Sasuke stepped away from the threshold and downstairs. Once again The TV was on and Sasuke was ignoring the world. Mikoto sighed as the second bell rang. "He will be the death of me."
Mikoto went downstairs to open the door to her first son, Itachi. When she tried to turn the handle to open the front door for him and could not, she almost cried. Of course Sasuke would sabotage the house before he left, why wouldn't he?
Moving the window shades to the side, Mikoto motioned for Itachi to come around to the back. Itachi, an exact replica of Fugaku, except for his long luscious hair, shook his head and followed the path to the back door. The older teen's eye twitched as he came to find nails shutting the back door from the outside. How had his mother not noticed Sasuke doing all of this was a mystery onto itself.
The older teen took his cell out and called his mother. The call went straight to voice mail. He tried her cell but that also went to voicemail. Inside the house Mikoto actually screamed noticing all the windows were tightly nailed down. Her cell phone and the house phone were missing along with any hammer that might be used to pry off the nails.
On the couch, watching the TV, Sasuke smiled.
It took Itachi exactly two seconds to knock down the back door with a powerful kick, four minutes to locate Sasuke and knock down his bedroom door with the same powerful attack, and ten minutes to beat the stuffing out of the boy before their mother interfered with the one-sided fight. Itachi then knocked out his younger brother and called a repair man that will fix his mother's house before the end of the day. The eldest son then helped his mother pack Sasuke clothes, books, and important items into boxes that he lifted to his car. Sasuke in the mean time was hand cuffed and tied to the staircase railings, quietly resting. With the brat's belongings packed and all of his recreational items packed and sent for donation, Itachi then lifted Sasuke into his car like a sack of potatoes, throwing him in the passenger seat. He kissed his mother good bye and gave her information to the repair man who would be coming.
Itachi's heart ached seeing his mother being torn apart by his brat of a brother. He knew that Mikoto would miss Sasuke dearly regardless of his actions, but someone needed to teach the boy a lesson.
Driving to the next town only took half an hour and with an additional fifteen minutes to travel to the house Sasuke awakened. He struggled and tried to yell for a bit until Itachi threatened to leave him on the curb, still tied and gagged. Afterwards Itachi lifted the boxes of Sasuke's crap into his bedroom then contemplated leaving Sasuke tied up in the house or in the backyard tied to the fence. However, Sasuke began to yell through his gag.
"Im meem cho ku cho mfamfchum!" Itachi untied the gag and Sasuke yelled out, "I need to go to the bathroom!" Itachi untied the little bastard, not wanting the floor wet, but he did keep the rope and handcuffs close, just in case Sasuke did try something.
Itachi went into his room, not bothering to give Sasuke the tour. If he didn't learn his boundaries the quiet way, he'd learn the hard way.
The rest of the evening consisted of Itachi studying for his Psychology 101 exam while Sasuke quietly unpacked.
I hope you like this rewritten version of A List of Nasty things to do. :) I'll be doing other chapters as well.