Lily couldn't remember when it had started. Not even after all those late nights just lying in bed, wondering. Because it seemed to her that there wasn't a defining moment. It had been gradual – so gradual, in fact, that she had only just noticed.
Sirius and James had always been close. They had been friends even before arriving at Hogwarts their first year, as their families had run in similar circles. They were infamous for their pranks and ill-mannered behaviour, in spite of the fact that there were two other Marauders. Everyone knew that it was James and Sirius who really instigated all of their mischief.
They had been sitting at breakfast, the Marauders and Lily, innocently munching on their toast. It was the day before Gryffindors first Qudditch match of the year, and everyone was nervous and fidgety – but none more so than James.
He wouldn't keep still. His fingers were tapping away at the table so hard his plate was shaking. There was silence all around them, since no one could muster the energy to make small talk. Not even Peter, who believed that all silences – even the comfortable silence between friends –, was awkward.
Finally, Sirius put his slightly larger hand over James', successfully quieting the drumming.
"We'll be great. It's only Hufflepuff, and we killed them last year. Relax."
Sirius gripped James' hand tight in his, and smiled reassuringly at him.
"Thanks man," James sighed in reply.
A few seconds later – a few seconds too long – Sirius released James' hand and everything was back to normal.
Or so it seemed.
In those seconds, realisation hit Lily like a ton of bricks. Sirius had always been affectionate – mostly towards girls whose names he wouldn't remember the next morning – but even when wrestling with James on the floor of the Gryffindor common room, it had been different. There were the tender, longing glances when he thought no one was looking; the special smiles that seemed to be reserved especially for James.
Lily couldn't believe she hadn't noticed before. But, she reasoned, Remus hadn't figured it out either, and he had far more access to the private lives of Sirius and James than she did.
What Lily didn't know, however, was that Remus knew. He had known from the very first look. How could he not?
Sirius had always sought out James to play Qudditch, pull a prank on Snivellus or one of the other Slytherins. But it had always been Remus that Sirius had gone to when he was upset about his family, had a girl problem, or just wanted to relax.
James and Sirius were so close they were like brothers; Sirius and Remus' relationship was a different one entirely.
There was no way that Lily could have figured all of that out without a little help – even if she was the brightest witch of their year.
"He did it! He caught the snitch! Gryffindor wins, three hundred and seventy points to one hundred and eighty!"
The Gryffindor stands let out an almighty roar as the Slytherins booed. Hufflepuff had always been great sports when it came to losing (they did it so often), and so the teams congratulated each other on the spectacular game.
"Party in the common room!" Sirius yelled out to the other Gryffindors as he lifted James up onto his shoulders.
James whooped as Sirius ran into the castle. Lily rolled her eyes fondly as she gazed after them, but her thoughts quickly turned dark. She'd been having trouble with that since she found out.
She was afraid of losing James. In spite of six years of hating him with a fiery passion, he had still been a constant presence – someone she could always depend on. She could feel him slipping out of her grasp, and Lily was scared she would lose him forever.
Lily didn't doubt James' sexuality – his noticeable reaction to seeing her breasts for the first time was proof of that – nor did she doubt that he loved her. She just wasn't sure that their love was stronger than James and Sirius' friendship. Sirius wasn't known for letting go of something that he wanted without a fight the size of a war, but neither was Lily.
And though it may have surprised her at first, Lily truly did want James. She loved him, and she didn't want to give him up.
She just didn't know what to do about it.
Remus was upset, anyone with half a brain could see that, and Sirius had a fully functioning one – in spite of what a nasty rumour from the Slytherins had been saying.
Remus never really got upset. In fact, the only times Sirius had seen Remus cry was when they had figured out he was a werewolf, and when Mary had broken up with him.
Both of those times Sirius had been there to comfort him, and tell him that it was all going to be OK. But this time it wasn't going to be OK.
Sirius choked back the words he wanted to say, because he knew that Remus wouldn't want to hear them, set James down and stormed off to the dormitory. Remus had made it clear where the two of them stood – even if he hadn't given a real explanation. Hell, Remus hadn't even given him a fake explanation. A few words were spoken, along the lines of, "I can't do this anymore," and they hadn't mentioned it since.
They had both been hoping things would just go back to normal, but there was no normal after that. They had gotten so close, and then Remus had gone and pulled away.
Sirius kicked his trunk in his frustration, and grimaced in pain as his toe connected with the leather.
He sighed and collapsed onto his bed.
His mother had rejected him, his father, practically his whole family – Sirius was not new to the experience. Yet when Remus had rejected him... the pain was something different entirely.
Sirius had tried to find solace in the arms of the good looking birds of the school, but they were nothing to him. If anything, they just reminded Sirius of what he was missing.
So he looked for love elsewhere. James. They had always been close, James was practically family. He knew everything about Sirius – almost everything anyway– and had stuck by him through it all.
James was funny, kind, loved Qudditch and was unbelievably attractive; everything you could want in a person. Even so, running with James on his shoulders, Sirius could only imagine a different time, a different set of legs.
Peter trolled up to the portrait of the Fat Lady, his arms laden with sweets from the kitchen for the party.
"Cucumbers," Peter mumbled awkwardly, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He wasn't looking forward to the party. Not one little bit. The Marauders had become so uncomfortable. Sirius and Remus would barely look at each other, and James was far too preoccupied with Lily to notice anything peculiar was going on.
Peter sometimes wondered if he was the only Marauder with a brain. Sirius was too busy checking out everything with legs, Remus was too busy with his nose buried in a book, and James was too busy with Lily and Qudditch. Peter was the only one of them who could stand back and watch everything as it fell apart.
Peter sighed as he entered the common room. Most of the Gryffindors were already there, and so he set the food out on the table before taking a cupcake for himself.
James was swinging wildly from the banisters, Remus was sitting on the couch his knees tucked up to his chest, and Sirius was nowhere to be seen. Peter shrugged and returned his attention to his cupcake – the one dependable thing in his life.
Lily came down from her dormitory apprehensively. The Marauders parties were always great fun – if you weren't the one who had to clean up the mess afterwards.
It wasn't all that out of hand, but Lily knew it was only a matter of time.
She saw Remus sitting on the couch, and headed over to him.
"Are you alright?" she asked, sitting down beside him and placing a hand on his shoulder.
Remus breathed deeply, before turning to face her.
"That time of the month, I guess," he answered offhandedly. You'd have to be an idiot to miss the pain in his eyes though, and Lily Evans was no idiot – even if she was dating one.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" she suggested.
Remus gave her a small smile.
"A walk would be lovely."
They stood up and exited the room, neither noticing the stormy grey eyes that followed after them.
Even though Sirius hated Lily – she had stolen James away from him, after all – he had never been more grateful than he was when he saw Lily comforting Remus; doing what he himself could not.
"Sirius!" James called out to him. "Do you have the Firewhisky?"
Straightening his shoulders, Sirius held up the case.
"Of course."
He set the whisky down on the table, and was the first to crack open a bottle. Sirius took a long swig, and resigned himself to an evening of drunken bliss.
"I'm guessing you don't really want to talk about it?" Lily asked once she and Remus were wandering outside near the lake. It wasn't yet curfew, or Lily would never have suggested leaving the common room – she was Head Girl.
"Not particularly," Remus replied. "Why don't you tell me your problems?"
Lily stiffened slightly, before brushing off his question with a smile much too big for her face.
"I don't have problems."
Remus chuckled, but there was no mirth in it.
They turned silent as both waited for the other to say something. Remus did so first.
"You finally figured it out," he muttered.
"Figured what?" she asked, mostly for the sake of asking; they both knew what Remus had meant.
"Sirius and James," Remus said.
Lily sat down against a tree and let her head fall into her hands.
"How long?" she mumbled.
"They've always been close," Remus said, sitting beside her and wrapping his arms around his knees. "But the flirting thing?... Three weeks."
"What changed?" she asked, turning to Remus. "You and Sirius are really close, aren't you? He'd tell you."
Remus snorted and gazed out at the lake.
Lily waited patiently for him to answer her.
"We... had a falling out, I suppose," Remus finally answered, still not looking at her. "We were bonded for a time by mutual interest, but things always change. Not for Sirius, of course. Never for Sirius. I was different, and I couldn't be the friend that he wanted."
Lily was struggling to wrap her head around Remus' words. She knew that there was something he wasn't telling her, but... oh.
"You were having sex," she breathed.
Remus just nodded, and rested his chin on his knee.
"How did it start?"
"He kissed me," Remus answered. "I let him."
Remus didn't want to tell her the entire story. How Sirius had found him sobbing in the kitchen over a bowl of chocolate pudding. How Sirius had taken the spoon from his hand and placed it on the table. How he had been too distraught to notice. How Sirius had tenderly reached out a hand and brushed the tears from his eyes. How Sirius had leaned in, brushing their lips together so softly, so perfectly, that Remus was sure no other kiss could ever compare.
It wasn't something that any guy ever wanted to admit, even one as in tune with his emotions as Remus.
"How long were you?..."
"Four months," Remus replied, his voice tinged with longing.
"I think... I think I remember," Lily said. "You and Sirius kept running off by yourselves – not that James and I minded of course. Sirius was acting so oddly. He was... happy. Genuinely happy. And everyone was worried because he wasn't dating any girls... but he was dating you."
Remus snorted, and returned his attention to the lake where the Giant Squid was frolicking.
"We weren't dating," he said bitterly. "We were fucking. He was supposed to be rebound sex."
Lily stared at Remus' profile, half hidden in the darkness. Darkness! Lily internally blanched, realising how long they had been outside. If anyone caught them... but, Lily knew that this was more important than any punishment they could receive. Remus needed to talk to someone about this; bottling up your feelings was never healthy.
"In the beginning," Remus continued. "It was fun. We snogged everywhere: broom cupboards, empty classrooms, the prefect's bathroom. Once," Remus said with a small smile on his face. "Once we snuck out to the Shrieking Shack to try and frighten the villagers with the noise we made."
Lily grinned at the idea.
"So what changed?" she gently prodded.
"I did," Remus replied, turning to her again. "He didn't."
"You fell in love with him," Lily breathed.
Remus shook his head. "No. I mean... I tried not to. It just happened so fast. As soon as I realised, I tried to pull away. I was afraid that if I even kissed him, he'd just know. So I ran."
"You don't think he liked you back?" Lily asked.
"No more than he liked the rest of his sluts," Remus replied darkly.
"But you guys were friends, too," she pointed out. "He cares about you."
"He might have. Now, he cares about James."
Lily's face dropped, and Remus immediately apologised for his thoughtlessness.
"God, Lily, I'm sorry. I didn't-"
"It's alright Remus," Lily replied. "I get it."
Remus sighed.
"I think you should tell James," he finally said. "At least then you'll know what will happen."
"What if I'm just putting the idea into his head?" Lily asked, slightly fearful. She truly loved James, Remus could tell. She had the same look that he had when he thought he was going to lose Sirius. He didn't want her going through the same thing he had. It hurt too much.
"James loves you, Lily," Remus consoled her. "He's not going to give you up because Sirius is going through another one of his phases. Talk to him. If you want, I'll ask Sirius about it."
Lily's eyes brightened.
"You'd do that?"
"Of course," he replied, pulling her into a loose hug. "What you and James have is special, Lily. Don't let it go so easy."
When Remus and Lily returned to the common room, it was disastrous. Everyone below fifth year had already headed for bed, and everyone that remained was completely trashed.
"Lilyflower!"
The girl in question rolled her eyes and scowled dangerously at her boyfriend.
"James, why are you drunk?"
"It's a party, darling. That's what ya do."
"God," Lily muttered, immediately returning to prefect mode. "Bed, James. Now."
"You mean it?" he joked.
It took Lily all of three seconds to acknowledge the hidden meaning in her words. Her cheeks turned a delicious shade of pink.
"No!" she backtracked quickly. "Just..." she sighed. "Go get me something to drink."
"OK!"
James bounded off happily while Lily gazed after him.
"I'm going to head to the dorms," Remus rolled his eyes. "Goodnight Lily."
"Night Remus," she said, kissing him swiftly on the cheek. "Thankyou."
Remus smiled at her, before walking lightly up the stairs to the boys dormitory. Talking with Lily had always had a positive effect on him – Lily had a way of brightening one's day just be being around – but their particular topic of conversation had been one Remus had needed to talk about for the longest time. He finally had, and it was as if everything that was weighing him down – stress, unrequited love, etc. – had just vanished. There was nothing that could ruin his good mood.
"Remus."
Except possibly that.
Sirius was drunk. Remus wasn't the slightest bit surprised.
"Sirius," Remus replied with a nod of his head as he slung off his cloak and folded it neatly.
"We... we've got to talk, Remmie," Sirius slurred.
"What about?" Remus asked as he took off his shoes and placed them at the end of his bed. Sirius rolled his eyes at the other boy's organisation.
"Us," Sirius answered matter-of-factly.
"There is no us anymore, Sirius," Remus replied, sitting down on his bed. "You broke it off, remember?"
"No, no, no," Sirius mumbled. "You broke it of; I just made it formal."
"It doesn't matter Sirius. You've obviously moved on, so I don't see why it's bothering you all of a sudden."
"What do you mean, 'moved on'?"
Remus laid back and stared at the picture he had stuck to the rook of his four-poster bed. Nothing dirty or anything (Remus wasn't a complete perv), just happy. In the photo, Sirius had his arms around Remus and surreptitiously kissed the crook of his neck. James – who was taking the photo – hadn't even noticed; though he had been curious as to why Remus' cheeks suddenly turned bright red.
Tears prickled the corners of his eyes, and Remus squeezed them shut.
"All that flirting with James," Remus replied, his voice not reflecting any of the emotion in his eyes.
"So what if I am?" Sirius asked defensively. "It'd not like you and me are dating, so you have no right to be jealous."
"I'm not jealous," Remus lied through his teeth. "But you're hurting people with your stunts, Sirius. It's not fair."
"Not fair to who?"
"To James and Lily," Remus sat up and gaped at Sirius. "Do you seriously have no idea what you're doing to them?"
Sirius shrugged as he took another swig of his firewhiskey. It was at least his fourth bottle of the night – but he'd lost count shortly after his second, so he couldn't be sure.
"I'm not doing anything," Sirius drawled. "James doesn't even notice. He's too blinded by Lily anyway."
"Exactly, Sirius," Remus scolded him. "James is in love with Lily, and she's so scared that you're going to steal her away from him. What right do you have?"
"Well she stole him away from me!" Sirius growled. "What right did she have, huh? Answer that, oh brilliant Moony."
"Your best friend is happy, Sirius," Remus sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Nobody deserves to have happiness taken away."
"Well I'm nothappy," Sirius yelled. "Why does everyone get to be happy except me?"
It was a rare moment that Remus lost his temper. It only had happened once before – when James and Sirius replaced all his chocolate with dung bombs – and no one had brought it up since.
Remus just lost his temper.
"You think that everyone's happy?" Remus shouted, standing up and storming over to Sirius. "I turn into a monster once a month! Tanya Lovell's parents were just murdered! There's a crazy, evil wizard roaming the countryside killing every muggle he finds! And you," Remus shoved Sirius in the chest for effect. "You are unhappy because you don't get to spend every minute of the fucking day with your friend? Grow up Sirius. The world does not revolve around you."
Remus was breathing heavily. Sirius stood up and their noses were almost touching.
"What happened, Remmie?" Sirius whispered softly.
Remus closed his eyes and tried to imagine himself anywhere but there; it didn't work.
"You're being an idiot," Remus muttered, uncomfortable with Sirius and his close proximity. They hadn't been this close since – no, don't go there.
"I don't mean now," Sirius said. Remus had known that already, of course, but he wasn't going to answer with the truth. His heart was already so battered and bruised, he wasn't sure it could handle being broken.
"If you didn't like it, you could have said so," Sirius continued. "But you didn't. You didn't say anything. You flinched away every time I touched you. Made up some horribly lame excuse to get away from me. What did I do wrong?"
Remus breathed deeply, trying to clear his mind enough to respond halfway intelligently, but it didn't work. The air smelled of alcohol, chocolate and something so uniquely Sirius, Remus almost lost it.
It's for the best, he told himself sternly.
"You didn't do anything," Remus replied. Except make me fall in love with you, he added internally. "I just... didn't want to anymore."
"If you didn't want to," Sirius whispered, "you'll hate it when I do this."
Sirius pressed their lips together, seemingly gentle and rough and oh-so-perfect all at once. A moan escaped from Remus, and Sirius slipped his tongue into his mouth without a seconds warning. Their tongues met, and shivers ran down Remus' spine.
Sirius wrapped an arm around his waist, bringing them crashing together. Remus' hands tangled in Sirius' hair, tilting his heads for better access to those beautiful, soft lips.
Remus had missed this. Everything was so exciting, and new, and...
Fake. It had always been fake. Sirius would never feel the same way as he did, and Remus was just setting himself up for disappointment yet again.
Remus pushed Sirius roughly away from him, and held his head high.
"You're a good kisser, Sirius," Remus said detachedly. "And you're drunk. Whatever this is," Remus waved his hand towards the two of them, "it isn't going to mean anything tomorrow."
Remus spun around and crawled into his bed. He slammed the curtains closed and put up six or so different charms to make sure no one could see, hear, smell, or more importantly, talk to him.
Then he curled into a ball and sobbed, as he tried to keep his heart from breaking.
"It's not the full moon yet," Peter noted at breakfast.
"Well spotted Pete," Sirius grumbled. Hangovers tend to put the brightest of people in a horrid mood – and Sirius wasn't bright to begin with.
"What I meant," Peter continued, "is where's Moony?"
James looked up, and noticed Remus' absence for the first time.
"Oh yeah..." he muttered. "He's probably still asleep."
Lily sat down next to James and kissed him chastely on the lips, revelling in the fact that for the first time in weeks, Sirius wasn't sending her death glares simply for being alive.
"Where's Remus?" Lily asked as she buttered a piece of toast.
James and Peter shrugged; Sirius scowled moodily at his scrambled eggs.
"Sirius?" Lily asked, pressing her luck. "Have you seen him?"
"Not since last night," he replied. He was too distracted with his thoughts to give Lily any trouble, and she internally smiled.
"Did he say he was feeling unwell?" she asked, slightly concerned. "He was fine when he left me."
"We... got into an argument," Sirius explained with a sigh. "He said some things that I didn't agree with, and I made it bloody clear too."
Sirius stabbed at his eggs violently, and Peter jumped.
Lily quickly put two and two together. Remus had admitted his feelings to Sirius, and had been rejected.
Lily got to her feet, reached out her hand and slapped Sirius across the face. Everyone gaped at her, but her attention was focused solely on Sirius.
"You bastard," she exclaimed.
"What the hell?" Sirius gasped. He stood up and glared at Lily. "What did I do?"
"Don't play coy, Sirius Black," Lily scowled. "It doesn't suit you. Remus poured his heart out to you, and you just shoved it in his face!"
"What?" Sirius asked, successfully confused. "What are you going on about?"
Lily stopped dead in her tracks.
"You mean... Remus didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?" Sirius snapped at her.
Lily stared at Sirius, her eyes wide with fear as she realised she just gave it all away.
Sirius groaned. "He told you, didn't he?"
Lily took a deep breath, and nodded.
Sirius swore, and clenched his fists.
"So he can just go off and tell the entire fucking school without consulting me, but I'm not even allowed to tell my best friend?"
Lily glanced around at the crowd that was gathering.
"Maybe this isn't the best time, Sirius," she softly suggested.
Sirius too noticed the throng, and scowled. He stormed off, and every eye in the Great Hall followed him out.
Without speaking, James and Lily decided what was going to happen. Lily would find Remus, and James would tail Sirius. James lightly kissed his girlfriend before they both left the Great Hall.
Peter sat, staring at the empty spaces around him.
"I really need to get some more friends."
Remus woke up and found himself wondering if you could cry so much your tear ducts just gave up entirely. That's how he felt, at least. The mere notion of spilling just one more tear made his head hurt.
For a brief, blissful moment, Remus completely forgot why he was upset in the first place.
Then it came rushing back.
Sirius had kissed him in a drunken haze, because he was a horny, male teenager – possibly one of the world's most dangerous combinations – and it meant nothing more to him than getting off.
Remus had kissed Sirius back because he too was a horny, male teenager – made slightly more dangerous when the werewolf factor was added – and it meant the world to him because he was kissing the boy he loved.
It was obvious to Remus, had been for some time, that their tale could never end happily. Didn't stop a guy from dreaming though – even if it should have.
"Remus? You up here?"
He recognised Lily's concerned voice immediately.
"Yeah, Lily," he replied, opening his curtains.
"Are you OK?" she asked. "Sirius said you guys got into a fight."
Remus yawned as he nodded.
"Yeah. We did."
"About what?"
"About how he's an ass that only cares about himself," Remus replied. "It was very one-sided."
"Is that all?" she pressed. "I wouldn't have thought an argument would faze you, even if it was Sirius."
"He was drunk," Remus sighed. "He kissed me."
"No!" she gasped.
"Don't sound so shocked," Remus smiled humourlessly. "He's a horny bugger."
"But... why didn't you come to breakfast? You seem... fine."
"Now I am," he sighed. "Last night I was a total mess. I wish I could just forget it all, but I can't."
"Why not?"
"I love him."
James found Sirius resting casually against their favourite oak by the lake, his head tilted back and his eyes closed.
"Hey," James said as he sat beside him.
"Hey," Sirius replied without looking at James. They'd been friends long enough to know the other by his voice.
James took a deep breath, before plunging right in.
"I know I haven't been around as much lately, what with Lily and being Head Boy and all, but you're still my best friend Padfoot. It's not right that you should keep secrets from me."
Sirius nodded.
"I know mate. I guess... it was all so unreal. Half the time I wasn't sure I wouldn't just wake up and find out it had all been a crazy dream. I didn't even know what I felt, so how could I tell anyone else?"
"You told Remus," James pointed out.
Sirius chuckled, his face turned to the sun.
"I suppose I did."
They were quiet for a moment, each half-hoping they could just drop it and let everything return to normal. James already had a good idea of what Sirius was going to say – James may have been an idiot, but he was not completely oblivious – and Sirius knew that James knew. They were brothers, after all. Some things didn't have to be said.
But it wasn't one of those things.
"Remus... he's special," Sirius said carefully. "He's an ass, but he's special. He sees things that no one else does, and he has the most perfect laugh."
James didn't disagree Remus was special, but the winner of the most perfect laugh went to his Lilykins. As did the most beautiful eyes, sexy body, gorgeous hair and best sense of style.
"It wasn't like I planned it," Sirius continued, oblivious to James' internal ramblings about his girlfriend. "I've always been so busy with girls and with you. Then you finally started dating Lily, and I knew that I was second to her. I guess I was jealous. I wanted something special like what you two have. I started to spend more and more time with Remmie, the more you were spending away from me. And I liked it. You were still my go to man for Qudditch and pranks, but when I was sad, I'd only want Remus."
James was a little surprised sure, but only because he'd never thought about Remus and Sirius together. He wasn't freaked out in the slightest that Sirius was a shirt lifter. Sirius was always going to be his best friend, no matter what crazy shit he got up to. Out of all the weird things Sirius had done, snogging Remus was really only eight or ninth.
"When he broke up with Mary," Sirius remembered fondly, "I kissed him. And he kissed me back."
James smiled encouragingly at his friend, who had finally opened his eyes to see James' response.
"We started hanging out more, sneaking off, snogging in every place we could think of. It was fun, and he can deny it all he wants but I know Remus liked it too. Then, one day it just stopped."
"Why?" James asked, becoming quite intrigued with the story.
"I don't know," Sirius groaned, frustrated. "He just started pulling away from me. I don't know what I did. And he wouldn't tell me. We just went on like that for two weeks or so, before I finally ended it. I didn't want to, but Remus wanted out, and I wanted him to be happy."
"He hasn't seemed very happy lately," James noted.
Sirius nodded in agreement.
"I know. But I don't know what he wants from me. I've tried to talk to him, but he just storms off."
"Is that what you fought about last night?" James guessed.
"Pretty much," Sirius replied. "I kissed him."
"What did he do?" James asked.
"Snogged me right back," Sirius smiled. "But then he pushed me away and hid in his bed."
"That's… kind of stupid," James said slowly.
Sirius snorted. "You're telling me."
"I just mean," James corrected himself, "that it's not like Moony to avoid conflict. He's all for getting things out in the open and dealing with problems. He doesn't sweep them under the rug and act like they never happened."
"It's worse not knowing why he left," Sirius sighed. "I get barely any sleep because I'm just going over every detail trying to figure out what I did wrong."
"Maybe we should have an intervention," James suggested.
Sirius shook his head.
"I don't want to force him to explain himself to me."
"Why not?" James asked genuinely surprised.
"I love him."
James and Lily met in the common room, their faces equally resolute.
"Sirius is an ignorant whore –"
"Remus is a selfish child –"
"What?"
"What?"
Lily raised a hand to quiet her boyfriend.
"What did Sirius tell you?" she asked.
"That he's madly in love with Remus and has no idea why Remus broke it off because he won't tell him anything."
Lily opened her mouth.
Then closed it.
Then opened it again.
Then closed it.
Then fell to the floor, clutching her sides as she laughed.
"Um… Lily? This is kind of serious." James wasn't used to being the level headed one; it made him nervous.
"I know, I know," Lily giggled as she stood back up and straightened her shirt.
"What did Remus tell you?" James asked.
"That he fell in love with Sirius and thought he could never love him back because he's a slut."
James opened his mouth.
Then closed it.
Then opened it again.
Then closed it.
Then fell to the floor, clutching his sides as he laughed.
"Um James, this is serious," Lily mocked him.
When James finally recovered – he took a considerably longer time than Lily – they stared at each other.
"We have to get them together," Lily said stubbornly. "They're going to be happy, even if I have to make them."
James kissed Lily swiftly.
"I love it when you're scary."
Lily and James knew Remus and Sirius well enough that if they just said, "You both love each other, go have gay sex!" they wouldn't believe it. Not without proof.
That was where the Pensieve came in. James had borrowed it off Professor Dumbledore, who was more than happy to assist their cause. Lily was shocked when James just spilled everything to the headmaster, but James knew better; Dumbledore was just a hundred and thirty year old teenage girl.
Peter was sitting in the Gryffindor common room playing chess with a first year. And losing.
It was quiet. That frightened him. It hadn't been quiet in the common room for over six years.
"AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!"
There we go.
Peter breathed a sigh of deep relief as James bounded into the room holding an expensive looking bowl to his chest.
James spotted Peter and headed for him.
"Just to catch you up real quick," James said breathlessly, "Remus and Sirius were dating, but they broke up. They love each other, but they both think it's unrequited. We're going to fix that."
Peter raised his eyebrows.
"… I see."
"Lily should be bringing Remus soon, and Sirius is upstairs. Can you grab him for me? I need to clear out the entire tower – I'm assuming there will be loud makeup sex later, and no one really wants to be around for that."
"OK," Peter replied. "But Sirius isn't upstairs. He already went to dinner. It starts in ten minutes you know."
James opened his mouth to reply, but just gave up.
"Let's go find Lily," he muttered resignedly.
Remus and Lily were already seated in the Great Hall; Lily had figured out the flaw in their plan long before James, and had made adjustments accordingly. However, there was something she hadn't taken into account.
Remus was acting off. He was paler than usual, barely moving or talking, and didn't bat an eye when Dumbledore pronounced there would be double choc, chocolate mud cake with chocolate ice cream and chocolate milkshakes. Which was unusual for a normal person, let alone a choc-o-holic like Remus.
Sirius entered the room and sat across from Remus trying to catch his eye. Unfortunately for him, Remus was very purposefully not looking at back, and only looked away from the twinkling roof when James and Peter arrived.
"Right then," Remus muttered to himself. He squared his shoulders, and stood up. The screech of the chair against the stone floor quieted the room quite effectively.
Remus hopped up onto the table, trying to avoid – but not succeeding – standing on anyone's plates; luckily the food hadn't yet been sent up by the house elves.
"Mr Lupin, what on earth do you think you are doing?" McGonagall gasped. Remus was, after all, one of her model students.
"It's perfectly alright ma'am," Remus swayed slightly. "I already asked Dumblydore."
The headmaster patted McGonagall on the arm consolingly.
"My name is Remus Lupin," he began. "Many of you know me. But that doesn't actually matter. I have an announcement to make.
"I didn't know it at the time, but five months, one week and three days ago, I fell in love. Took me ages to realise it you see, because this person was a bloke."
There was a collective gasp around the room, but no one said anything else. Not even the Slytherins.
"He's completely gorgeous of course. Way out of my league. But then he goes and kisses me, and I can't help but think, 'what if?'.
"So, there I was, dating the most amazing, wonderful, beautiful man in all of Hogwarts, if not the world… and I go and fall in love with him. So of course, I break it off. It would be really awkward if he knew that I loved him. 'Cept after we broke up, it was awkward anyway. We didn't talk to each other except to yell. I couldn't even ask him to pass the salt, it was horrible. I had to eat my potatoes all boring-like.
"So this morning, I was like, you know what? Fuck it. My life can't possibly get any shitter, and I'm leaving Hogwarts soon anyway. You can only hate on me for another few months.
"Basically what I'm getting at, is…"
Remus swayed again, and had to use Lily's head to support himself. He stared right into Sirius' eyes, and didn't know how he was supposed to feel about that look. Sirius just looked… unbelieving.
"I love you. Totally, utterly, completely, love you. I don't want to embarrass him by saying his name or anything, but I'm pretty sure the idiot knows who he is by now. If not, here is something only he will get.
"We scared the pants off those poor, unsuspecting villagers. All they could hear was thumping and banging and a couple of screams every now and then. Usually from you, vocal bastard."
Peter was already bored of Remus' confession, and was staring anxiously at his plate, knife and fork already in hand.
James was beaming up at Remus, while Lily was a little peeved. She'd had everything planned out! She was going to hold their happiness over their heads whenever she needed a babysitter, or someone to go to the store, or do menial jobs around her house or…
Dumbledore was smiling at Remus encouragingly, thinking fondly back to his own coming out ceremony. They didn't make dresses like that anymore…
McGonagall had long since fainted.
Remus took a deep breath.
"In case I didn't make it totally clear, I am a complete and utter shirt lifter. I'm proud of who I am… but that might be the firewhiskey talking."
Remus grinned sheepishly as he stumbled off the table and sat back down beside Lily.
Silence.
More silence.
Did someone just drop a pin?
No, that was some cricket in Australia.
"Well, while everyone's so stunningly quiet," Sirius jumped up. "I have an announcement of my own."
Remus didn't actually want to look at Sirius. But that wasn't going to bloody well stop him.
Sirius finally caught Remus' eye, and he smiled.
"Remmie is a little confused, seeing how he's completely smashed," Sirius said. "He seems to be under the impression that I am the most amazing, wonderful, beautiful man in the entire world. I just have to make it clear to you all, that the most amazing, wonderful, beautiful man in the entire universe is Remus John Lupin."
Sirius jumped off the table far more gracefully than Remus had – but Sirius wasn't on his sixth bottle of firewhiskey – and took the other boys hand in his.
"I feel like this would be the perfect moment to ask you to marry me," Sirius mumbled. "But I don't have a ring, and that seems a little bit forward. So, will you be my boyfriend Remmie?"
Remus glanced at Sirius and then down at their entwined hands.
"Hell yes!" Remus exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Sirius and crashing their lips together.
That kiss, standing in front of three hundred people, making a fool of themselves, was undeniably the best.
Their first kiss was gentle.
Their second kiss passionate.
Their other five hundred and sixty seven (give or take) varied between the two. But the one in the Great Hall was perfect. They finally loved each other.
Sirius rested his forehead against Remus' and sighed.
"I love you."
"I love you."
The room erupted in applause. Lily wasn't sure, but she could have sworn she saw tears running down Professor Slughorn's face. There were boos, but only from the Slytherin table.
They would be mercilessly pranked for the rest of the year, of course.
"Tuck in, everybody!" Dumbledore said as the food finally appeared.
Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance.
"I'm actually not that hungry," Remus said, edging slowly towards the door.
"Yeah, ah, me neither. Actually, I'm really tired. I might go to bed early."
Sirius fake yawned and slung an arm around Remus' shoulders.
"But what about the double choc, chocolate mud cake with chocolate ice cream and chocolate milkshakes?" Lily gasped.
Remus took one long look at Sirius, before replying.
"White chocolate is good too."
Remus and Sirius chuckled as they exchanged hi-fives with James.
"I don't get it," Lily muttered. Remus and Sirius began to quickly walk away.
Just not quickly enough.
"Wait a second… Sirius… white chocola… REMUS!"
AN: Yes, I know. The joke is horrible, but c'mon; what kind of 16 year old boy doesn't make horribly lame smutty jokes? None of them, that's who.
So, I hope you enjoyed my very short Sirius/Remus slash. If you didn't, well, I guess you just wasted thirty minutes of your life that you can never get back. Haha. You're life is wasted!