One Way Out

Growing up, he'd always been there for me. Always. The only 'family photos' I have without him, are the ones from the day I was born leading up until around my second birthday, when we met. Ever since that day he'd always been there. I remember being in grade nine, and him pulling up in his spruced up truck to get me from school. My closest friend at the time, Emma, had whistled lowly, asked me who he was.

Smiling, I had replied, "He's my Quil."

I hadn't how possessive...obsessive we were, until just recently. After graduation high school, I had been given my 'initiation'. It wasn't really much, sort of just a party. A party that was to welcome me to the pack – officially. At eighteen years old, I was finally a woman. I guess you could relate it to other cultures, where boys and girls had ceremonies celebrating their acceptance to adulthood.

Jacob Black was the man that made this one. His imprint, Nessie Cullen had been given the ceremony much earlier than me. As her body reached physical adulthood, Jacob had wanted to celebrate. The tradition was created, so to speak. I was the only other child imprint thus far, so I was next in line to be welcomed by a pack of hungry wolves.

If there were to ever be another child imprint, the same would go for them – unless they were exposed prematurely to the life of the wolf. Somehow, this particular pack of mangy mutts had managed to keep it from me my entire life. Nessie had known regardless, but Jacob still felt the girl could use some good old fashioned La Push partying to finish it all off.

Emily told me the night of my eighteenth birthday that Jacob and Nessie had...consummated their imprint status. She may have had the body of a full grown woman, but she had only been around eight. Bella and Edward had been furious, but Nessie's mind was so advanced that there wasn't much she could do. She had made the decision.

Intelligent or not, she was still and eight year old girl living in a grown up world.

Emily asked me if I was finally going to make it official with Quil – sure I liked him, but I didn't...not like that. He had burped me as a child, for pete's sake. Silently I had walked away from my aunt, and left the party. I guess one could say it was then that I knew what I would do.

Nessie may have been half vampire, but there were plenty of kids that got the short end of the stick. Watching her with Jacob, and looking back at how my actual human friends had grown up, I realized that it just wasn't right. I didn't want other girls getting stuck in things they wouldn't be able to escape. I didn't want to see anymore Nessie's grow up. Whether they be human, vampire or wolf.

Nessie inspired me to pursue the line of social work, which involved several psychology classes. Nessie is the one that lead me to realize that she wasn't the only one – I was stuck to. I owe her much for guiding me to the light, even if she may never see it herself. Mate, imprint, lover of my alpha, she did as she was meant to do – she helped guide pack to their path in life.

So, thank you Nessie. It may not mean much to you, but it means the world to me. You were my salvation, in the end.

Even after starting college, it took me a year. Or, it took me until I really got into my psychology class. We didn't use the entire book, but the field of study intrigued me and I began reading into it more. Most of our studies were based around social disorders, signs of abuse.

I heavily became interested in stockholm syndrome. I hadn't been physically held hostage in my life, but the pack had an iron grip around me. I went to a community college because it was closer. I worked hours that suited their patrol. The one day I had a study session with a boy in my class, Quil put a hole though my wall and left. I could hear his howls of rage for hours, and for nearly a week afterwards I didn't sleep.

I stopped talking to that boy and began studying with Brady and Collin. They weren't in school, but they didn't mind helping me – or so Jake said. As I delved further into the pack and into myself, I learned that what Jake said, went. No one questioned him – or at least if they did, it didn't matter. His rule was Law in the pack. For the wolves...and for us imprints.

I became afraid.

Emily and Kim were married, Emily pregnant with her second child. Her face...beautiful in old family pictures, horribly disfigured by her imprint, Sam. My uncle. Quil could be capable of that violence as well. Sure, he was an older wolf, but control didn't come easy.

I didn't want that life for me. A life of fear. I didn't even want to settle down and have children, not with the man that had nearly been a father to me my entire life. Bike riding, holding a pencil. He was so much older than me.

I wasn't going to become an Emily, a Kim, or a Nessie. I just wasn't.

Looking at Bella, I knew I couldn't become her either. Throwing my entire life away for eternal love. Scientifically love...I guess it doesn't really matter.

I'm not a vampire though, or even a human who wants to be one. I'm not a wolf. I'm weak flesh and bone, breakable. I'm one hundred percent mortal, and the wolves may be fast but they don't have eyes everywhere, all the time.

I guess I'm writing this so you'll know. So that maybe they'll learn, and next time it will be different, because it's too late for me. It's too late for me to fix this. I'm too involved, with Quil, with pack. I'm one of them. And for me, there's only one way out.

When you're reading these final words, know that I didn't write in past tense to be difficult.

Goodbye, everyone, but especially Quil. I really did love you just...not in the way everyone wanted me to.

ZZZ

The funeral had been a mostly silent affair. Her parents had cried, naturally, but Quil had stood silent; staring at the casket. Fellow students had come to mourn a girl they had grown to love, but the wolves made not a single sound. As Quil's eyes met with the man whose scent sometimes lingered on his imprint, he snarled.

It was all that bastards fault.

Not directly, but he kept Claire going to class, despite Emily and Kim trying to get her into art. If she had have went into a safer profession, her head wouldn't have been poisoned with insane thoughts. Her classes had made her think she was wrong, had made her fight her purpose, and she had died because of them.

The wolves all shared Quil's sentiments on the schooling. Side by side by side, they stood strong, glaring at the 'students' that had called their Claire friend.

It was all their fault.

ZZZ

It was a steady slope into depression. He ran double patrols, ate less. He was slowly going crazy. Quil felt as if he was sitting outside of his body, watching the insanity eat at his brain. His imprint was gone – his entire purpose. The one his world revolved around.

He had no world anymore.

Shape shifting wolves are durable and strong, but heartbreak can destroy even the strongest of creatures. Even an alpha order from Jacob to eat did nothing. The pack watched as one of their most beloved members faded away, before finally dying.

It was fast enough that when they buried him – on top of Claire – he didn't look a day over twenty.

ZZZ

Claire sat in the woods, the voices of her ancestors filling her ears. She had always wondered what came after, but she hadn't expected this...universe. Wolves and humans ran alongside her, and no judgement was passed.

She was content with that, because she was finally free. Here she could run and skip and hop and jump and fly and not worry about 'I wonder what...will think'.

A hand stroked the back of her neck, heavy breathing behind her. "Claire." He whispered, awed and amazed.

Staring straight ahead a lone tear slipped from the young girls eyes.

No.

Even in death I can't escape him.