Harry did awake upon the day, looking about the room as if entranced by the wonders of life itself. Hedwig cooed to him warmly as if to issue a declaration of love upon miraculous lifebreakers by which our oceans did sing of you.
"Good marrow, my sweet owl," he did say. "What have ye for me today?"
And from Hedwig's beak did she produce a large parcel formed of Uncle Vernon fused with his clone from the universe on the other side of the mirror.
"YE SHALL PAY FOR THIS HARRY FUCKING POTTERR!" the large Angry Vernon did describe his rage with such words. And then and only then did Petunia emerge from her place in the dresser smiling as though she were a resident of Stepford, or maybe a camel…
And is it with it now that then and here did Dudley arise from the sea, clad in robes spun from silver with diamonds engraved into his palms like wishes made by the young girls who long for dreams to breach them in the night.
"Harry," the young boy called, "you will conquer victory triumphantly!"
"Mozzeltov!" Harry did reply as he stepped through the magical mirror and was transported to Hogwarts where he would begin once again his magical education in the magical arts.
Upon arriving at that place, he did find his dearest sweet Ginerva, who, with eyes of brilliant emerald, did stair him down longingly.
"Harry, will ye be mine future groom?" she did ask.
"Of course," the boy did respond. "Ye and Luna and Padma and Hermione and Cho and Katniss and Neville shall all be mine beloved brides on this most glorious of days."
"How wonderful it is!" Ginerva did sing as she flew to the ceiling to rejoice with the angels at the news of the wedding between her and her beloved and the fact that she had been chosen as part of Potter's ELITE SEVEN.