Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The CW is the author and owner of Hart of Dixie. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Since english isn't my first language, special thanks go to my awsome beta-reader jkazzie! Thank you so much, I couldn't do this without you! ***********************************
Chapter 1 – Coming to BlueBell"Doc? Doc, wake up...!" Wade grabbed Zoe's shoulder and shook her gently until she finally opened her eyes.
"Wade? What happened?" Zoe was confused. She checked her surroundings to figure out where she was. She was sitting on the couch in Lavon's living room. Right next to her sat Wade, looking equally confused. She couldn't remember how she ended up here, or why.
"I don't know. I just woke up myself a few seconds ago…" Wade stood up, rubbing his neck. He felt like he had some kind of hangover, except he hadn't been drinking last night.
"What's the last thing you remember?" Zoe asked, stretching her neck and checking her own mind for some clue as to what had happened last night.
"I… I was sitting on my front porch, playin' my guitar. Tansy came over and brought me some cookies. She said she'd made them for George but he was allergic to nuts, so he couldn't eat them."
"Did you eat them?" Zoe asked, a weird expression on her face. She looked like something just dawned on her, but at the same time, she looked kind of shocked. And angry.
"Of course, Tansy's cookies are awesome!" Wade said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"OH. MY. GOD!"
"What is it, Doc?"
"She drugged us!" Zoe started pacing around Lavon's living room, suddenly furious!
"What?!"
"She drugged us, Wade! I don't know how or why, but there's no other explanation. She came to my practice yesterday and told me an identical story! And I also ate the damned cookies! And now, after Tansy brought both of us cookies – which she's never done before, by the way – we wake up in Lavon's living room, totally hung-over and we can't remember how we ended up here! That is one hell of a coincidence!"
Wade thought about her theory for a moment. "Well, let's find out!" he said tenaciously. He made his way through the kitchen towards the exit. The door wouldn't open. He tried again, this time using all of his strength to turn the knob and push with his shoulder, but it remained firmly closed. "What the f***?!' he though, right before Zoe screamed.
"Wade! "Wade, come in here! The TV just turned on without me doing anything!" she explained, as he entered the room.
"Okay, what the hell is going on in here?! LAVOOON!" he called out, but he was met with silence.
The TV showed the test-pattern for a few moments before the screen flickered and the opening credits of a TV-show began. "'Hart of Dixie?' What is this crap?" Wade scoffed, turning the TV off.
"I don't know, I've never heard of it. Come on, we can't sit around here. We gotta go find Tansy and kick her ass for drugging us!"
"The door's locked, Doc – it won't budge. Do you have your phone with you? I can't find mine."
"What do you mean the door's locked?" Zoe shrieked, while searching frantically for her phone. "No, I don't have it. Damn it! What is going on here?" She began to panic. Something was really messed up! She collapsed onto the couch and tried to calm herself – before she hyperventilated.
Wade sat next to her.
"It's going to be okay, Doc. Lavon will come home eventually and then we'll go kick Tansy's ass." He smiled at her reassuringly. Ever since she broke up with him four months earlier, there was a tense atmosphere between them. He could only hope that one day, she could forgive him for cheating on her. Until then, he would be there for her in every possible way, and show her that he could be the man she always saw in him and that she could trust him.
She grinned back, eagerly anticipating a good ass-whooping, but caught sight of the television from her peripheral vision. "Wade… the TV..."
Once again, the opening credits were flickering across the screen. Zoe picked up the remote to turn it off, but nothing happened. "Maybe the batteries are dead," she murmured. She began pressing random keys: menu, guide, channel, numbers – but nothing worked. "Damned piece of junk!" she whined. Losing patience, she took to banging the remote against the edge of the coffee table.
Wade rolled his eyes. "Doc! Doc, cool it," he pleaded, stretching over to grab it before it shattered, but she whipped it out of his reach.
"I can do it!" she grumbled, pressing keys with manic thumbs like she was sending a text message. Zoe yelped when her own face flashed before her. Without thinking, she hit the pause button, and stared open mouthed at the frozen image on Lavon's giant television screen.
"Wade, the pause button works," she said inanely.
"Oh, goody," he retorted sarcastically before he saw what she was staring at. "Um, Doc?"
"Yeah?"
"Doc? Why are you on TV?"
"I have no idea…" she said, transfixed. "Maybe it's the drugs?!"
Wade chuckled, wagging his finger at Zoe. "I know what this is. I'm bein' punk'd by you and Lavon, aren't I." He stood up, pacing to the stairs as he called out, "You can come out, Lavon. You got me a good one, but the joke's over!"
Zoe huffed impatiently. "Lavon's not here, Wade. This is actually happening."
"It can't be," he argued, returning to the living room. He threw himself onto the couch. "This is insane, Doc. We are not locked in Lavon's mansion watchin' the CWs fall lineup with you in the starring role! Who'd hire you as an actor, anyway – I heard you totally sucked as Juliet."
Zoe whacked him reflexively. "Shut up, Wade! This is real."
Wade snatched the remote from Zoe's limp hold. "We'll see about that," he challenged, and pressed 'play'.
Zoe watched the screen in disbelief. "Wade, this is exactly what happened. This is how I came to be in BlueBell! I don't understand what's going on here. It's like someone made a reality show about my life..."
They watched Zoe arriving in BlueBell, meeting George Tucker, moving into Lavon's carriage house, and visiting the practice for the first time. When TV-Zoe retired to bed to read a book before falling asleep, the fuse-box blew and everything turned dark. TV-Zoe remembered Lavon telling her she shared the power supply with some guy named Wade Kinsella, who lived in the gate house across the pond. Zoe watched as her TV self trudged around the pond, the sound of guitar music and girlish laughter getting louder as she approached the backdoor. TV-Zoe let herself in when no one answered her knock...
"Hey, look, that's me," Wade announced with a smirk. "Ooh, I look hot!"
"Shut up!" Zoe said, smacking his arm. This whole thing scared the hell out of her.
"I remember this," Wade told her. "You stormed into my house, yellin' at me for blowin' the fuse-box and generally being highfalutin'. The second I laid eyes on you for the first time though – you ruined me for all other women."
They gazed at each other for a few seconds. Zoe smiled at Wade's confession and then the argument on the television refocused their attention.
"You overheated the generator!""Nice night-gown – I'm Wade." He smirked crookedly."Well this smile might make all the girls at the church social swoon but it's not gonna work on me!"Wade pressed the pause button.
"That was SUCH a lie!" He laughed.
"No it wasn't! I could tell right away that you were an ass!" Zoe snapped, but grinned as she grabbed the remote and pressed play again.
Later in the episode, a very drunk TV-Zoe sat on the side of the road holding an almost empty box of wine. Ugh! Chateau-cardboard. Zoe shuddered as she remembered its acrid flavor vividly. She'd since tasted better salad dressing at the Rammer Jammer. TV-Wade drove by and stopped the car.
"Nice first day. Everyone knows old man J memorized the eye-chart.""Don't you have some cows to tip... Waaade?!" TV-Zoe slurred.Ohhh... look at you girl! Drunk as a boiled owl! I'd offer to give you a ride, but – I don't want you gettin' any ideas – "TV-Zoe stared at him dumfounded. Was he for real? He didn't actually think she'd make out with him, did he ... in his crappy car?!"Oh, no! Not that!" Zoe screamed. She hid her face in her hands. This was embarrassing! The situation itself, AND reliving it in high definition, Technicolor with surround sound.
"Oh, come on – you liked it!" Wade teased.
"DID NOT! I was drunk, your front seat was uncomfortable and I played Dixie with my butt. It was embarrassing!"
Wade smirked. "But it was fun." Zoe's lips twitched in an involuntary smile she tried and failed to hide from him. Sure, she'd been pretty wasted, but she couldn't deny enjoying their little encounter.
"It's over." Zoe said, when the episode ended. "What now? What is this supposed to mean? Is this the hash-cookie version of Charles Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol'? Some sort of 'Ghost of BlueBell Past' is going to show us how we became friends and what we had together?" Zoe reared to her feet and stepped over Wade's outstretched legs. "I'm not doing this," she refused, walking into the kitchen.
Wade followed her. "I don't know what this is or why it's happening – but it seems obvious to me that we're pretty much trapped in here." Wade tried to reason with her as she attacked the doorknob. "What are you doing there, Doc?"
"I'm trying to open the fricking door!"
She shook the heavy door and pushed against it with all of her strength, which was pretty much only one tenth of Wade's and he hadn't been able to budge it earlier, but that didn't stop her from bashing on it with clenched fists. She sagged against it when it wouldn't open.
"Doc? Hey, Doc..." Wade said gently as he approached her. He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "Zoe – " when he said her real name, she stopped in her tracks. He was using this deep, calm, soothing voice she loved. "If I'm not able to open that door, then you won't be able to either. Just... calm down, okay?" He waited while her rapid breathing slowed to an almost normal pace.
"Okay," she finally said, and he let go of her. "So, what are we gonna do now?"
"Let's see if there are any more episodes. I don't think we can do anything besides watch that damned show for now, " Wade said, and led her back into the living room. They sat down on the couch together and Wade picked up the remote. Zoe decided to trust him – what other choice did she have?
"Okay, go on ..."
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AN: Thanks for reading. Please review and let me know what you think. Thank you!
Also, I would like you to know that the chapters won't be too long, but there will be plenty of them! ;-) I guess you'll figure out quite soon where I plan on going with this... :-)
Please just let me know what you think and leave your reviews. This story is really really time-consuming as I have to typewrite entire dialogues from the original episodes so if you guys don't like it, I could spare myself an awful lot of "wasted" time and just write a different story. :-)