Never Gave Up – Part 1
This little fic came to me the other day and I thought I would share. It's set in ep. 1-13 the scene where Robin is so mean to Much. Anyway it's not the greatest but oh well. Two parts.
Robin sat on the hill overlooking Locksley wondering at how his life had gotten so messed up. How did it end up so different from how he had always assumed it would be? His thoughts were interrupted by someone walking up. He didn't have to look to know it was Much. The manservant always was around.
"I knew I'd find you here."
"It is my village." Robin didn't want company. He just wanted to be alone to come to terms with everything.
Much sat down beside him seemingly oblivious to what Robin was feeling. "Remember the times we used to sit up here. Sit up here and say there was no finer place in England"
Yes, he remembered how things were. It seemed so far off like a different world which he supposed it was. It hurt to think of those days when his life had been carefree and the future was a happy prospect. "Gisbourne is stealing my life."
"And you must let him. You heard Edward. The king is in danger and what is Locksley is England can't be saved?"
"At this moment I care more about Locksley than England."
"It isn't Locksley is it? It's Marian. We must let her go. I say we I mean you."
Robin looked at Much shocked. He had expected Much to be the one person who would understand. "Let her go? You tell me how I am to do that. How do you let go of someone who has always been a part of your life, who was always supposed to be a part of your life? How do you let go of someone you love so much you ache whenever you are not with them? How do you let go when that person is a part of your soul and you need them as much as you need air to breathe? Tell me how and I will gladly do it."
Much looked at Robin seeing the pain emanating from every part of his master. "I don't know but you must. Marian has made her choice. Maybe if you hadn't left or if you would have told her how you felt when we first returned things might have turned out differently but it's too late now."
Robin shut his eyes. That was what hurt the most, cut the deepest. Because of his choices his life was messed up. Things would be different now. He and Marian would have been long ago married. It was his own fault he had lost her. Much again cut into his thoughts.
"What happened to Robin Hood the man who put England and its people before everything else, who wanted glory more than anything?"
Robin winced. "He discovered how worthless glory is especially if it loses you the only thing you ever truly loved."
"Robin, the king is coming back and if we can stop the sheriff from messing things up then England will be right again."
"Will it?"
"Yes. The sheriff will be out. You'll be in. We're talking days surely. You'll have your lands back. You'll be in Locksley. I'll be in Bonchurch. It's not a huge estate but it's big enough. A man could easily get lost on it easily."
Robin turned to Much. "Don't you get it? It doesn't matter. Nothing matters without her. I could be given all the land in England and it would mean nothing. My life means nothing without Marian to share it with. Just leave me alone, Much. Go and save the king yourself. Have your Bonchurch. I wish you the best."
"But master…"
"Go" Much heard the anger in Robin's voice and knew there was nothing he could do to convince Robin so he left him to his misery.
Robin sat there all night remembering when Marian was his, thinking about how things would have been if he hadn't went chasing glory. He felt like such a fool. He had the greatest prize any man could hope for and he had thrown it away.
He waited until he saw Marian arrive to leave. He had to be sure she would go through with it before that last glimmer of hope faded. He has said he never gave up. Now he was giving up on the one person that meant everything to him. Because that was what she wanted. He really had no idea where he would go. He just knew he couldn't stay and see her become another man's wife. Perhaps he would return to the Holy Land. Maybe war would help ease his heartbreak and help him forget what an absolute failure he was.