authors note: this is my first time attempting writing fanfiction since i was like 14! i havent even watched recent seasons of south park. so just keep that in mind as you read my super self indulgent polyship fic. thanks for giving it a read everybody. dont forget to give it a favorite and/or a review! id love to talk to u all about it

Stan

The alarm that woke Stan up this morning was the same as every other morning, but seemed extra awful today. He groggily slapped his hand against his phone in an attempt to silence it. There wasn't anything particularly different about the day. He still worked the same job, with the same people, in the same town. Lately though, he found himself tiring of it all. He felt as though he was in a rut that he'd never escape without some serious life event or change of direction. Is that what a midlife crisis is? Realizing that pretty much no matter what, your life is the same forever, and desperately trying to change that? What does it say about someone to be going through this crisis at 25? Will he be dead by 50? Not a bad run, but certainly nowhere near his actual life expectancy. No, this couldn't be a truly "mid" life crisis, but perhaps just a life crisis in general. Stan could accept a general life crisis.

His phone started blaring the snooze alarm that Stan had accidentally turned on instead of silencing it. He groaned and swiftly turned the alarm off for good this time. He swung his legs over the edge of his bed and rubbed his eyes for a moment. That's five minutes of his morning gone in a flash. Why does time go so fast when you don't want it to go by at all?

There was a knock at Stan's bedroom door, followed by a familiar "Breakfast" reminder from his roommate, Craig. Stan finally made his way into the kitchen and sat at the small table the two of them shared in their apartment.

"Fall back asleep?" Craig asked as he portioned out some eggs and toast for the both of them.

"Pretty much," Stan nodded. "Got lost in thought, didn't realize how much time went by."

"Ain't that the truth." Craig smirked as he set both of their plates down on the table and took a seat. "Nobody tells you getting old means losing all concept of time while simultaneously going insane trying to manage every minute. Maybe less kids would try and make it there so fast if they knew."

Stan raised an eyebrow at Craig. "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to relate to me as well as actual children. Did someone take over your body last night? Blink twice if yes."

Craig rolled his eyes. "Alright asshole, maybe I wanted to have a somewhat civil morning conversation. Relating to kids is impossible." He chuckled.

"Weird to think we were kids once." Stan mused.

"One of us was." Craig corrected. "I was basically a parent as soon as Ruby was born."

Stan shook his head. "Your parents are nuts dude. Kids already don't have enough time to be kids. Your situation was straight fucked."

Craig nodded. "It's in the past. We both made it through. Ruby is even going to community college when she graduates. She's been working hard to save for it and she's still gonna have to work while she studies, but if anybody can do it it's her." He seemed as though he was getting lost in thought himself.

Stan checked the time again. They were cutting it close. He quickly shoveled the rest of his eggs onto his toast. "I'm rooting for her too, dude. We gotta get going though."

Craig finished his last bite and put both of their dishes in the sink. "You know I'm always waiting on you."

Stan tossed Craig the keys to the truck and they walked down the hall of their apartment to the shoddy elevator and took it down to the first floor. It shook quite a bit on its way down as it normally did, but something seemed a little more off than usual.

"That thing is gonna kill somebody one day." Stan commented right before he took his last bite of egg toast.

"Don't wish too hard, it might happen to you." Craig unlocked the truck and hopped in the drivers side. Stan had bought this truck, (well, split the cost with his father for the truck), from someone much taller than either Stan or Craig that they both practically had to jump into it due to how tall the wheels were.

With that, they were off. Stan looked out the window at the same sights he saw every morning and got lost in thought once again. He remembered being young, and how Craig and him never got along. He figured part of that was the insufferability of children in general in comparison to the emotionally removed and mentally aged Craig. It was the best explanation for how well they get along now in comparison. Stan had arguably done a lot of growing up when he decided to move out on his own and start his adult life. He did his best, experienced his first huge failure in the form of not being able to pay for his first apartment's rent, and realized that he needed others a lot more than he thought. Thankfully, Craig was eager to move out of the shared house he lived in with the then newly engaged, now married Clyde and Bebe.

That was a whole other wild thing to think about. What if Stan and Wendy had tried to stay together when Wendy went off to college? Would they be in the same situation Clyde and Bebe are now? In the public eye, they were living the ideal dream. A lovely house with no roommates, both working stable jobs, and married their high school sweethearts. There were even rumors going around that Bebe was pregnant.

Stan wasn't fooled though, as Craig had told him of all of the drama that went on behind closed doors. Clyde was constantly on the cusp of being fired due to his general lackadaisical behavior. The house was not nearly as lovely as Bebe's lighting in her photos made it look. They were barely scraping up their mortgage without Craig there to pitch in, and now they might have to decide what to do with a potential baby on the way. They fought all the time, which was what eventually drove Craig to decide to leave. Clyde was a great buddy, Stan remembered Craig told him, but that house was quickly turning into something familiar that he wouldn't subject himself to twice. They said they understood, but neither of them had reached out to Craig since. He only saw their life in snippets on social media where they were still pretending to be perfect.

Stan also remembered his friendship with Kyle. He'd be coming back home from college again soon. Stan wondered if they'd go back to being super best friends again, or if they'd continue to drift apart as they'd done since Kyle left. Stan couldn't blame Kyle. He was constantly under pressure to do schoolwork and participate in extracurricular activities which was more than a full time job even from the beginning. He also made other friends, ones who were close by and could relate to his new problems.

Stan had Craig. Craig was a good guy. He was fun to banter with, and they spent most of their evenings together watching whatever was on the streaming service and playing video games. Craig cooked, Stan cleaned up before bed, they split the bills right down the middle to the penny. Stan knew when to leave Craig alone when Craig was feeling moody, and Craig did the same for him. They had a pretty good thing going together, but it couldn't replace what he felt with Kyle.

Stan thought about how sometimes what happened between Kyle and him weren't always strictly friendly. Especially during junior year of high school. They spent almost all of their time together studying for finals, Kyle helping Stan write his papers, and then they would snuggle up together when they slept, or watched a movie for a break. He attributed it at the time to them being super best friends practically their whole lives. However, thinking back on how heartbroken he felt when Kyle told him he got into a really nice school that was far away, coupled with his ever diminishing feelings for Wendy to the point of not even caring if he saw her that week, he wasn't sure. When Wendy left for school and broke things off with Stan for good, he felt relieved. When Kyle left for school a week later, he was absolutely crushed. They had been bickering for the better half of senior year, ever since he found out Kyle was going halfway across the country. Wendy on more than one occasion asked Stan if he loved Kyle more than her, and Stan couldn't answer. He was honestly shocked she didn't break up with him sooner. He was convinced that it was just what they were both used to and comfortable with, and that when she left South Park she started her own new life. She even deleted him off of social media. It was a clean break.

Stan's thoughts were cut short by Craig stopping the truck at their workplace. Lumber yards weren't glamorous jobs, but they paid decent, and they had the luxury of not having to talk to any customers. Just boring manual labor. Of course, with boring manual labor comes more thinking about Stan's life, which wasn't helping his whole life crisis situation much. He couldn't complain though. At least he couldn't get in trouble for being in his head all day.

At lunch, Stan got a message from Kenny. 'hey u wanna get together soon? kyles back on monday. lets reunite the crew.'

'Yeah sure dude. I'm free most evenings and all day on Saturdays and Sundays.' He quickly replied. This was good, Kenny can orchestrate the whole thing and it'll just go how it goes. No need to freak out about this.

'word lets do friday night after we get out. 7:00pm? my place?'

'Sounds good to me.' Stan was definitely freaking out a little bit about this. Just a little bit. Even Craig noticed.

"Hey dude, everything ok?" Craig asked in between bites of his sandwich.

"Yeah. Kyle's coming back next week and Kenny is trying to set up a hangout." Stan furrowed his brows. "It's always been weird when he's only back for a short time. He'd be busy with his family and we'd go get a bite to eat. He'd talk about his life, and I tell him the same things I told him last time, and then we'd go quiet and go home."

"You want things to be different now that he's theoretically home for good." Craig nodded.

"Theoretically?" Stan questioned.

"Well, yeah. He's got what, a masters degree now? In computer shit? He could go live anywhere he wanted, and get paid out the ass for doing it. Do you really think he's gonna live in South Park forever? Would you stay here if you had the chance to leave?" Craig explained. "I'm just saying, it's a decent possibility he leaves in a few months after he gets some job offers."

Stan didn't know what to say to that. Of course he had thought about that possibility, but he hadn't entertained it for long due to his unwillingness to believe it. Craig put his hand on Stan's shoulder.

"Look, dude, I know it's hard seeing your friends move on and have their own lives without you. We all go through it. At least he still attempts to connect with you sometimes. You gotta look on the bright side, and give yourself permission to move on from that. Childhood friends don't stay friends forever," Craig sighed, "and if he doesn't feel the way you do about it, then that's how that goes."

Stan pursed his lips. "Right." He didn't like what Craig was saying, but he knew it made sense. This could be one of the last times he ever sees Kyle.

"Don't like, give up, but don't be surprised if he's not right there with you." Craig reiterated.

"I understand what you're saying. I really do. It's just hard." Stan shook his head. "I'm so proud of him and what he's done, but I was such an ass before he left, and now he's got new friends and has a great life ahead of him. I can't help but feel like I pushed my own self out of his life when I freaked out on him for leaving."

"Maybe you should talk to him about that when you see him." Craig suggested.

"Yeah, like it's that easy." Stan scoffed. "Hey Kyle, here's all my feelings right on the table for you, after 6 and a half years of me being fucking garbage and us barely being friends. I'd feel like I'm being ridiculous. Like he probably doesn't even think about this stuff anymore."

"If he didn't think about it, do you think he'd keep trying to reconnect with you?" Craig removed his hand from Stan's shoulder and continued to eat. "Look dude, worst comes to worst, you've exposed your feelings and he doesn't feel the same. He still leaves and you never have to deal with that awkwardness again. Best case scenario, he comes and visits you sometimes, or he tries to keep up with you on social media, or possibly even decides to stick around. Who knows. You'll never know if you don't try. I'm not saying the chance is high, but I think you'll hate yourself forever if you don't get this off of your chest."

"Who says I hate myself?" Stan bluffed.

"You, with your actions, or should I say lack of actions. You haven't even tried to make other friends. You barely even keep up with Kenny anymore. You hang out with me because we live together." Craig put his arm up for emphasis. "There's a whole world of people out there looking for friends, or more than friends, or something. As you've said, it's been 6 years. Try and actually have some people in your life besides your roommate and your family."

"We get along well though, don't we?" Stan asked. "I like being around you."

"Yeah, we do. I'm not Kyle though. That's for sure." Craig finished his sandwich and stood up. "Just something to think about, you know? Take charge of your life if you don't like it." With that, he went back to work. Stan followed behind shortly afterward.

Craig was right. Craig was always right. Why does Craig get to have all the wisdom in this town? For that matter, why wasn't Craig Kyle? Obviously, he couldn't literally be Kyle, and Stan would never ask him to be. Really the question was, why wasn't Craig as important to Stan as Kyle was? They've spent years together, living in the same apartment, working the same job, and sharing their lives with each other. That conversation that they had just now wasn't something he'd ever had with Kyle. They were physically close, but they never talked about feelings. That'd be pretty gay, and as it goes, being gay wasn't exactly what Stan wanted to be known for. He was a football player, someone dating arguably the second hottest girl at high school, and basically the pinnacle of straight white dude masculinity. Aside from his time alone with Kyle. It was as if they had their own little world when they were alone together in one of their bedrooms. Why was talking with Craig about his feelings so much easier, when the physical connection wasn't there? Could the physical connection be there if they tried? Would Craig want to try? Isn't this rather fucking gay to be thinking about? Why doesn't he just try and get a girlfriend like everybody else?

Stan decided this was all too much to think about right now, and instead decided to focus on what he was going to say to Kyle on Friday. This was going to be a long week.

Kenny

'he said yes. plan alpha is go' Kenny quickly messaged Kyle as soon as he got the yes from Stan.

'Can we not refer to this as a plan? Makes it feel kinda nefarious.' Kyle replied. Kenny rolled his eyes.

'its not nefarious! this is a great plan! one for the history books. call it whatever u want, its in motion' Kenny was beaming. When Kyle reached out to him earlier this week, he was ecstatic. The plan was simple. Get the three of them together, drink, and talk shit out honestly. Maybe there's some other stuff involved. Who knows where the moment will take them as grown men? He enjoyed thinking of all of the possibilities. Then, they'll realize the bond between them is so strong they wonder how they ever drifted apart as a group, and they'll be super best friends for life.

Kenny was curious at Kyle's real intentions here though. Sure, he framed it as though he wanted all three of them to be friends again. Perhaps that was the easiest way to get back to being "friends" with Stan. He knew that Kyle and Stan hadn't been the same for years now, but he wasn't blind to what was going on with them in high school. Why didn't they want him like that?

That was a little ridiculous of Kenny, he knew. Polyamory was barely accepted in society, let alone podunk South Park. Who's to say whether they even thought of it as a possibility? They more than likely had no idea he even knew about them. They sure as hell had no idea that he wanted to be around them like that.

High school was filled with days of Kenny just not being around school, nor the town of South Park itself. He spent many of his days riding his bike into the city, buying some weed, and hiding in the woods somewhere to smoke it before work. He brought his phone for some music, some snacks, and his notebook. School wasn't Kenny's thing. Everybody was aware of that at this point. He was going to drop out as soon as he was able. Everybody knew that too. It wasn't that he didn't like school, so much as that he didn't have the time to study much between actually going to school and working his full time job at night. He also didn't think he was that great at school in the first place. Some people are just workers. That's how it goes, especially trying to get out of the poverty he lived in.

He did his best to provide for Karen and him while he lived at his parents' house, but he couldn't live there much longer. Even Kevin had flown the coop. No one knew where he went, but Kenny assumed that he was living in a drug den somewhere. A few years later, Cartman needed someone to room with after his mom finally got remarried to "some rich asshole who doesn't respect his authority", and Kenny was a perfect candidate. He could basically do everything around the house and prove that at least one of them had an actual job. Cartman had his mother's cosign and would pay for the majority of the bills from his stocks. They've lived together ever since.

So now, Kenny met Karen at her school in the morning and gave her some cash to do anything she needed or wanted with it. She always tried to say she was ok, she was working a part time job. Kenny insisted. He hated that she was even working part time, but knew it was necessary. She needed to save as much as she could for college. That's why she decided to stay in that house, to save as much money as possible. He understood, but knew it was taking a toll on her. Only 2 years of community college, then she can get a decent job, move out, and move on. She was tough. He knew she could do it.

Kenny had been working at the same gas station since he was in high school. He was a night manager now, which came with pay increase, but it wasn't much. It was a stable job that he was good at though. He had no qualms with this line of work. Somebody had to do it. For now, anyway. Only a matter of time before robots replace cash register operators and stockers.

In the meantime, he saved a small portion of his paychecks every week, just in case. The majority of the rest went to Karen and a small amount of the bills. Cartman had no problems paying for the weed and alcohol they consumed, Kenny just had to acquire it himself. It was a better set up than living with his parents, but not great. At least he wasn't paying a mortgage and electricity bills anymore, or food, for that matter. He and Cartman had a mutualistic relationship. Plus, the apartment itself was pretty sweet due to Cartman being rich as hell. He really couldn't complain too much. Of course, he did anyway, just to get on Cartman's nerves.

Cartman was less than thrilled that Stan and Kyle were going to be there "gaying up the place" on a Friday night. Kenny reminded him he was just going to be playing video games and getting fucked up anyway, what does it matter if those two are here as well. They could just stay in Kenny's room if it bothered him that much.

"Are you planning a threesome in my house Kenny?" Cartman accused.

"Not necessarily." Kenny joked. "Really, they haven't been speaking much since high school, this is probably gonna be more awkward than anything else. Kyle asked me to though."

"And you could never say no to precious Kyle!" Cartman rolled his eyes. "Whatever, if you losers get too gay I'm banning you to your room. Good thing I have sound proof headphones now huh Kenny?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"They're pretty sweet dude." Kenny smirked. He knew Cartman was mostly joking, but couldn't shake the feeling that this asshole could actually tell what Kenny's real motives here were. This could be the last time him and Stan see Kyle, and he had some things he needed to get off of his chest before it was too late. This night was gonna possibly his last chance. It was now or never. Worst comes to worst, he never sees Kyle again and Stan continues to pretend he doesn't exist, as per usual.

Well, that was a little harsh. Kenny didn't exactly reach out to Stan anymore either. They were both busy with their own lives, comfortable with what they were doing, and too nervous about breaching the topic again. Kenny was convinced this was true. Everyone is just extremely bad at being a person when their lives are so monotonous. Stan even had a history with depression, Kenny knew, so it was wholly possible he just doesn't have the energy to reach out. Or, maybe Stan was with Craig now.

Was Stan with Craig now? This wasn't something Kenny had considered. He found it strange that he decided to live with Craig over him and Cartman, but not unheard of. They'd both grown as people since school, definitely. Maybe they just enjoyed being their own little circle without Kyle or Kenny. Maybe that's why Stan had been so distant with both of them.

Kenny didn't really like that idea. Craig wasn't a bad person, he never was. He just happened to be on the other side of drama with things in school. However, if Stan was already in a committed relationship like that, this would be even harder than originally thought, or even impossible. Perhaps they could still rekindle their friendship. He supposed he would just have to wait and find out.

This was all a very unlikely fantasy anyway. Kenny was aware of this. It was probably going to come off like a joke, and they'll laugh, and they'd blame it on him being so wasted and such a horny dude. He figured that was still better than not trying at all.

Kenny went into his room for the night. He laid on his bed and cuddled his body pillow as he did every night since he got it. It didn't actually have a pillowcase on it, both because he couldn't afford a custom pillowcase even if he wanted to, and because he couldn't possibly decide who should be on said pillowcase. There were so many hot cartoon people out there. It was better to have a blank slate that he could project anyone onto. This is totally healthy and normal. No it's not. It's better than trying to sleep with nothing at all.

Having sex with people was Kenny's big game. He had this effortless charm about him. He enjoyed sex, and he enjoyed making other people feel good, but it wasn't as satisfying as he thought it would be. The problem was, he hadn't really found any people he liked enough to be in an actual relationship with. They were nice people, and he was even actually friends with some of them afterwards, but he never connected with them on a level that felt like a real relationship. He was sort of performing a huge leap of faith in trying this whole thing with Stan and Kyle, not even knowing if this would satisfy him if it did end up working out. He was relatively certain that it would be his best shot though. Plus, if it did end up just being a one night stand threeway, that would be totally cool with Kenny too. He really had nothing to lose here.

He soon drifted off to sleep.

Kyle

Kyle wasn't exactly surprised that Stan said yes, but he was happy about it. The past few years had been hard to deal with without Stan. He had his college friends, and they were great for awhile. Of course, there was drama, and relationships, and a whole bunch of other garbage that he was glad was behind him at this point. He had some new social media friends, and some possible coworkers to look forward to, and that was that. His connection with these people was almost purely out of being put in the same space for so many years. College was a microcosm, just like high school was. He'd meet up with these people in a few years too, reminisce for a night, and be on their way back to their own lives the next day.

That's all Friday was going to be too. A plan to get the gang back together for a reunion, really talk about the good old days, and talk about their current lives. They'd have a great time, and it would be the perfect send off for Kyle to move on into his new career. He had already started applying for jobs all over the world as soon as he graduated college. People were sending offers left and right, and he mulled over each offer carefully. He wanted to make sure he picked the perfect one. Well, as close to perfect as possible anyway. He also wanted to get far away from South Park.

Kyle wasn't great at breaking ties. He easily was emotionally involved with people's lives, to the point where he would sacrifice his own happiness at times for those around him. South Park was impossible to escape under normal circumstances for this reason. He was incredibly involved with Stan, to the point that when he had to move away to college his first few months were filled with a severe sadness and loneliness. When Stan started lashing out at him during the last half of senior year, it killed him inside. He felt so guilty for leaving Stan behind. However, Stan was still dating Wendy, and keeping whatever they had as their little secret. They told no one about the nights spent snuggling in the dark, the whispers of sweet promises to never let go while they were half asleep, the small kisses that Stan thought Kyle couldn't feel because he was asleep. He felt that leaving South Park and going to college elsewhere was his only chance at finding happiness. Boy, was he wrong.

College was just as dramatic and ridiculous as high school, except the school work itself was much harder, there was more of it, and there was a serious social pressure to get wasted every weekend. This wasn't exactly Kyle's idea of a great time, especially after realizing it was mostly people looking to fuck for a night and not see you ever again afterwards. It took him awhile to realize this, and led to quite a few instances of hurt. Once he did realize this, he just never let anyone else in. He had his friends who had their own drama, and he was always dragged in, but he was sure that he was never personally hurt ever again. College was simply not the place to find his partner. He was certain of that. He would just find someone after he graduated and got his really nice job. He would be the perfect eligible bachelor. Any guy would be lining up to date Kyle.

There was the idea that he could try with Stan again. Kyle was nervous about that idea though. He knew Stan had been living with Craig for awhile now. He had no reason to believe Stan wouldn't lie to him if he had been doing the same things with Craig all these years that he was doing with Kyle before he left. Stan had no problems lying to Wendy. He decided he didn't really want to even risk that conversation. If they did try for real this time, who even knows if it would work out? No, Kyle didn't want to be hurt by the same man twice. He was visiting friends. Just friends.

Kyle swiped mindlessly through a dating app on his phone. He was back in South Park at this point, so he knew this wasn't going to be very fruitful, but he had made a habit of checking it every day. Who knows who could be out there at any given time? Most of the people on here were either fresh out of high school or way further out of town than he cared to go for a date as of yet. Then, a familiar face. Craig fuckin Tucker.

Maybe it was an old profile? Kyle clicked on it and started reading through it. Looks as though he had answered personality questions as recently as last weekend. There was no mention of Stan in there aside from his status as living with a roommate. Kyle looked through his pictures. Craig was looking really good recently. He had always looked pretty good, but he was a dick to Stan, so of course Kyle disliked him in school. That's all changed though of course. They both did some growing up, it seems.

Well, that answers the Craig question. Stan could still be involved with someone entirely different though. Isn't that the same chance that there would be with anyone else though? Kyle hated that his easy out assumption was so quickly debunked. This made their meeting of friends on Friday that much more confusing. It was his idea though, so he couldn't back out now. No, this was for the best. Might as well get everything out in the open right? Talk it out. Worst comes to worst, he gets a job somewhere far away like he planned and never has to see Stan again.

Why does everything have to be so complicated?