Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own ideas.
Spoilers: THE PROMO FOR 8X04!
HUGE thanks to mingsmommy for the always awesome, super speedy beta.
Gil Grissom, the epitome of order, balance and rational thought sure knows how to throw a curve ball.
The night Nick was found alive, he showed up at my door, a six pack of beer in one hand and a plastic Chinese take out bag in the other. I expected him to need some comfort, someone to talk to perhaps.
I didn't expect him to kiss me, and I mean really kiss me, like I was going to disappear into thin air. His arms held me tightly against his solid frame like he was trying to make me meld into his flesh.
Neglecting the beer and the Chinese, he took me to bed and loved me with his mind, body and soul.
And I wasn't complaining, but coming from the man I've wanted for years, well…it was a mind fuck.
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The day he asked me to move in was equally as unexpected, though a little bit more low key.
He uttered the words, "You should move in," before looking up from his paper to judge my reaction.
I finished chewing and stared back at him, shock written all over my face.
He flattened out the page he was on and continued. "I know it's only been five months, but half of your stuff is here anyway and…" his voice got softer and glanced down, "I like waking up with you beside me."
Well, shit.
I looked down at my half eaten bowl of Cheerios and back up, stealing glances around the room.
My dishes mixed with his.
My books lined his shelves.
My clothes were folded neatly in the basket.
My keys hung on the hook next to his.
I looked back and him and smiled.
"Okay."
He smiled back. "Okay."
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He told me four days before flying to the East coast that he would be gone for a month. If I had known the day would turn shitty, I would have prepared myself.
But no, everything until that point had been good.
We woke up, smiled at each other and made love. We went to work and caught the bad guy. We walked hand-in-hand as we returned home and we both made dinner.
"I got a job offer in Massachusetts," he said slowly.
"And?" I prompted, waving my fork.
"And I took it."
"Great. When do we leave?"
I heard him swallowing heavily and sigh. When I looked up, I caught his drawn and tired face before he shifted his eyes away from me.
"I leave in four days."
I wanted to pretend I didn't hear him, but I did.
"Oh."
I pushed the chair back almost violently and grabbing my plate, walked to the sink and shoved my meal down the disposal.
If only I could fit him in the disposal.
"Sara—"
"Don't 'Sara' me, Grissom," I kept my back to him. "I hope you find what you're looking for."
I left the house before I could hear him respond.
I knew he would follow me, and part of me was glad he did. Grabbing my arm, he swung me to face him. His gaze caught mine briefly before he looked down at his feet.
"I'm…I'm not leaving you, Sara," he started softly, still staring at his feet. "I just need a break from work."
A small "hmm" was all I could manage.
"I'm not leaving you," he repeated.
"You hurt me," I whispered, looking him straight in the eye. At least I'm not a coward.
He sighed, "I'm an idiot."
I attempted a smile, "Yeah, you can be."
Pulling from his grasp, I bring my hand up to his face and run my thumb along his cheek. I sigh softly. "I'll still be here." At this point, I'm not sure I know how to be anywhere else.
Tracing the contours of his lips, I feel the small press of his lips to my flesh. This certainly doesn't fix things, or make up for the fact he acted like a complete ass, but I know he's sincere.
A month without him was too long.
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I've said it before; Grissom is never short of surprises, good or bad. But today, today threw me for a loop.
Two weeks back on the job and I finally snag an opportunity to work with Grissom. Working swing shift isn't horrible, but I do miss everyone. Especially Grissom because…well, I love him.
And while playing with bees isn't the most fascinating thing we could do, I'll take whatever I can get.
"Hand me that, will you?" he asks, pointing to the bee rack I'm currently holding.
I grin as I hand it to him. "I miss working with you," I say softly.
He looks at me and he lets out a small sigh. "I know. Me too."
We work in comfortable silence, until he stops and turns to look at me. I turn to face him, a smirk of my own playing across my face.
"You thinking something nice, Gil?" I never know what's going on in that brain of his, but I like teasing.
He just smiles. "You know, maybe we should get married."
My smile falls and I snap my attention back to his face.
Thousands of images of us flash before my eyes.
My first time in Vegas.
The day I brushed chalk from his cheek.
The day I asked him to pin me down.
Him nearly hunting me down in the lab the day he returned from Williams.
Wiping my tears away at the lab.
GRISSOM, the seven letters I first saw when I woke up.
I shift almost uncomfortably.
I've thought about marriage before. With him mostly, no one else was special enough. But I've seen too many bad marriages, worked with the victims of abusive husbands and watched my parents destroy each other.
Never in a million years did I think Gil would ever do anything like that, but it was still something I could never shake myself of.
We've dated nearly two and a half years. We've shared a home for two. Most of the time, we act like we're already married. I complain when he does bug experiments in the house and he complains when I kick my shoes off at the front door, creating a walking hazard.
I rock back and forth on my heels. "Griss—Gil, this, uh, this is…"
His face doesn't fall like I expected it to. "I love you."
Oh, this I know the answer to. "I love you, too," I say, looking him in the eye. "I just, I don't need a ring and a piece of paper to make what we have real."
He shakes his head. "I don't either. I just…wanna marry you."
I make a wordless noise.
"If you say no, I won't crumble." He steps so close I can't help but wrap my arms around him. With the bee suits on it's a bit clumsy, but we manage. "You permeate everything I do. I can't imagine you not in my life; you've shown me how wonderful your love is, Sara." His words seem to glide through the air, so soft and poignant. I'm having a hard time staving off the tears.
"I don't need you to say yes, because I know I already have you."
Stepping back slightly, I pull the mesh net from Grissom's face before removing my own. It was supposed to be a gentle press of the lips, but the moment our skin connects, he captures my lips with fervor.
He pulls back, gently cupping the sides of my face and presses his forehead to mine. I lick my lips and smile.
"I want it to be just us," my breath dances across his skin.
Gil's eyes search mine and he kisses me again. "Just us," he repeats.
You know, sometimes surprises are amazing.