So, this is just
something I wrote because I am obsessed with the song TIMOTHY by Jet
right now. If you've only heard the over played 'Are You Gonna Be
My Girl' I highly suggest that you invest in 'GET BORN' and
'SHINE ON.' They have kind of a Beatley sound… especially in
Timothy/Elanor.
Also, I would like you to know that there will be
no more. Hopefully that will be disappointing to you and not a
relief.
Bolded lyrics are dividers. Italics is the song. Read the words.
I have changed the name 'timothy' to 'julia'… Just because it's a Beatles thing, and timothy has no place. But DO listen to the song.
Timothy, Jet
Lucy sat at the kitchen table, her hand on her chin. They could barely afford to keep the house, how were they going to afford a child? She closed her eyes and let a tear run down her face, something that hardly happened now a days. Jude walked into the kitchen and saw her tears, and sat down next to her. He looked at the table, not knowing what to say. He wanted to hold her hand and tell her that everything would be okay. But her hand was up against her chin, and her eyes were closed. If she wanted comfort, she didn't show it.
Sadie walked quietly out of the room, leaving them alone.
"Maybe this was meant to be…" Jude managed to whisper, and Lucy replied with a short sob.
when you told me…
Lucy shut her eyes tight once her baby was born. She was crying hard out of both of her eyes, and even when the doctors announced, 'It's a girl…' and Jude whispering 'She's beautiful, Lucy…' she continued screaming and sobbing.
"Just take her away, Jude!"
Jude looked confused at Lucy, not sure what she meant. "What?"
"Take her away, I can't look at her, I cant look at her..."
Jude took the baby from the doctor, feeling slightly empty inside. Him and Lucy had already discussed the child, deciding that they were going to keep it and try their luck with the money. He couldn't understand anything, what was going on?
when you told me…
The doctors took the baby to another room while Jude sat with Lucy in her hospital bed.
"I can't do this." Lucy assumed, staring out into space. The room was so quiet, once you ignored all of the machines.
Jude felt his heart empty. He had seen his daughter, and fallen in love. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms, watch her walk, hear her say his name…
Jude tried not to show his feelings, trying to listen to Lucy explain.
"Jude…" She sighed.
He looked at her fingers, drawing circles on her hospital sheets.
"I thought…" Jude started, and then stopped when he started to choke on his tears. "I thought…" He calmed down and started to speak in a depressed voice. "I thought that we were going to raise a child, Lucy. We were going to name it Julia. We were going to watch her grow up to become a great woman like you… Why are you crying?"
"Why aren't I crying, Jude? I cant raise a child. I just cant." She paused before sobbing a bit.
"You can, Lucy. We can."
She looked at his big brown eyes, seeing her reflection through the shiny tears coated over them.
Julia, I took your place.
"Julia!" Lucy called from the kitchen. The 10 year old girl staggered into the kitchen, her face masked by a book.
She turned the page gently and adjusted her glasses. Her blonde hair was tied into a braid, obviously her fathers work, and her short bangs played around her eyes.
"Julia, I haven't seen you all day." Lucy looked at her daughter, trying to pull down her book and look at her face. "Are you going to come out with us to go see your Uncle?"
Julia suddenly looked up. "Max?" She asked quietly.
Lucy nodded.
Julia put her book down, having memorized the page number. "Are we walking again?" She asked, not looking at her mother.
Lucy turned around and poured a bowl of cereal. "Yeah."
Julia sighed. Why can't Max come to see us? I hate walking everywhere."
Jude walked in through the kitchen and passed the milk to Lucy, who thanked him quietly and poured it in the cereal.
"I don't know, Julia. You can ask him once we get there."
"You know, all my friends' parents have cars. They drive everywhere."
"Well, you know what, Julia?? We can't afford a car, because we have to pay for your goddamned education!!"
Julia got very, very quiet. She looked at her mother, slightly frightened.
Jude placed a hand on her shoulder, and Lucy closed her eyes.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. "Eat, Julia, okay?" Lucy placed her cereal on the table and walked into her room.
Jude took a last look at Julia before going to comfort Lucy. He didn't know that it was going to be the last look he ever took.
Julia, cuz it was such a waste…
Jude grabbed Lucy's arm as she reached under the bed, and Lucy screamed out in pain, and tears.
"I need it, Jude, I need it!" She screamed loudly.
"You don't!!" Jude yelled back just as loud, and used his strength to push her on the bed.
Lucy, her face red and wet from the tears, yelled out loud.
"You don't know what I'm going through!!" She screamed as Jude took the bottle from under the bed.
"I know exactly what you're going through, Lucy." Jude said bitterly. "This is our life, not yours."
"You can be a father Jude! But I'm a shithead mother! I need it!"
Jude opened the bottle and poured it all down the sink in their room.
"Jude!!" She screamed angrily. "You can't do this! That's mine, not yours!!"
"It's ours. You used our money to buy it, without my permission."
Lucy cried as he smashed the bottle on the sink and let the pieces fall in the garbage can.
Jude walked back into the room to find Lucy tearing through the room, her dresser drawers, her closet, her pantry…
"What did you do with it?!" She screamed, her face redder than ever. She tore through the bedroom door and ripped the cabinet doors open. "Where is it!?"
Jude watched her tear apart the room, and then step up on the table.
"What are you doing?" He asked quietly, and she tilted the lamp down, taking a bottle from the light.
Jude looked disappointed, watching her drink the bottle quickly.
She sat on the table and cried into her hands.
Jude walked over to her side, wanting to comfort her, and sneak the bottle away, but he stopped when he saw a book sitting on the table. Julia's book.
Jude picked it up, and looked at the front cover.
He read the small print… 'Dad… I'm sorry'
He looked up. He ran to Julia's room, she wasn't there. He yelled her name through the apartment, but no one said anything back.
Julia, we found your spaceship
Julia, it's the farthest you've ever flown
You never used your head
To find out what this whole thing meant
Jude called the police right away. He could barely breathe when he spoke.
"I'm… I'm missing my daughter." He breathed into the receiver. "I can't…" He breathed in. "I don't know where she is." He closed his eyes. "42 Terrace." He bit his lip in thought about her long blonde hair and her dark eyes. He remembered braiding her hair just that morning. "She has blonde hair…"
It's not what it seems, but it is
Julia, where have you been?
Julia, where have you been?
Max was over shortly after he heard. "Lucy, what's wrong?" He asked over the phone, and was over as soon as possible.
Max held Lucy in his arms and stroked her hair.
"Luce, we're going to find her." Max whispered.
"I knew I wouldn't be able to do this!" Lucy wailed into Max's shoulder.
They didn't say anything to that.
Julia, where did you go?
Julia, the girl can throw…
Jude walked back and forth, not knowing what to think. He didn't even know who Lucy was anymore, Julia was his best friend. Julia would watch movies with him after Lucy had fallen asleep, and Julia was the one that Jude would tell everything to. Now she was gone.
The telephone rang and Jude answered it, trying to clear up his tears as he spoke.
"jude Pheeney?"
"Yes.."
"We need you and Lucy to come to the police station right now."
Traffic was horrible. Everyone was running around, screaming, not knowing what to do. When Jude and Lucy got to the police station, they were tramatized at some of the stuff they saw on the sidewalk.
The police officer avoided looking them in the eye.
"Have you watched the television lately?"
"What kind of question is that?" Lucy asked through her tears. "I want my daughter back!!"
Max shushed her and held her hand against his knee.
The officer sighed. "I'm sorry, but that wont be happening anytime soon."
Jude and Lucy both had thoughts running through their heads that their daughter had been taken away from them because of Lucy;s dirnking problem. But that wasn't why.
"If you had been watching the television.." The officer continued, seeing that they failed to clue in. "You would have known that there was a shooting downtown."
Lucy let in a short gasp of air.
"Officer… what happened?" Jude asked in his accent. He sighed again.
"I'm sorry…"
Jude covered his mouth and closed his eyes. He couldn't stop the tears from running down his eyes. Lucy yelled out in pain from her heart and mourned for her daughter.
Julia, we found your spaceship
Julia, did it hurt when you hit the ground?
Never used your legs to walk around in this whole big mess.
Jude and Lucy stared and cried as Max and a friend helped bring out all of Julia's things, getting ready to sell them off for money to keep the apartment. It had only been a few weeks since the shooting.
Jude covered his mouth and placed a firm hand on Max's shoulder as he carried a stack of books. "No." He said, his voice breaking from the tears.
"No?" Max asked, and his face was red from crying too.
"I need those." Jude whispered. "I need them."
Max hesitated. "Jude, you cant keep everything."
Jude looked down at his hands. He held her wooden jewelry box filled with her charms and her bracelets. He looked back to see her old acoustic guitar leaning against the door.
"Max, the only thing she cared for in this world was those books… I need those. I cant sell them. They're a part of her."
Max was about to say no, and ask him what he would do with a bunch of old books, but he handed him the books and then walked back into her room.
Jude placed the things in his arms on the table and cried loudly for his daughter. "Julia…"
It's not what it seems, but it is
Julia, where have you been
She cried in the kitchen to let you go
Julia where have you been?
Jude felt a sharp pang of pain when he realized the date. He walked into the church and sat down, staring at the closed coffin. All of her books were at the front, along with her guitar and her bracelets.
Other people shuffled in, people that Jude didn't even know. Relatives of Lucy's, most likely. It wasn't fair…
He breathed in and sobbed loudly, ignoring the other people look sympatheticly at Jude, sitting in the back row. When the service started, he wasn't listening.
He stood up and walked right to the front, hesitating the service.
He placed his arms over the coffin and sobbed. "Julia…"
The preacher placed an arm on his shoulder and Jude shook him off. "Today was her birthday…" He cried loudly. "Today was her birthday…"
missed your photo
missed your birthday too
missed your photo
It's not what it seems but it is
Julia, where have you been?
She cried in the kitchen to let you go
Julia, where have you been?
missed your photo
missed your birthday too
missed your photo
missed your birthday too…
Yep, that's about it. Listen to the song. Seriously. It made me cry the first time I heard it.
So, I might continue, just to build up Julia and Lucy a bit more. Should I…?
LOVE!
-Missy.