SAILOR MOON, THE SAILOR MOON CHARACTERS AND THEIR
RESPECTIVE NAMES AND LIKENESSES ARE PROPERTY OF
TOEI ANIMATION, NAOKO TAKEUCHI/KODANSHA, DIC
AND OTHERS, THEY ARE NOT MINE.
My favorite topic in writing is humor/parody, but
there is something too irresistible in dark humor
to ignore it!
SWEET REVENGE
By Yorkie
'Funny how the past repeats itself.'
She thought as she moved the stool over to the counter, she
couldn't yet reach the top shelves.
'Even more peculiar, how memories seem to come back in a rush.'
She clutched the bag of sugar against her small frame as she
climbed down. 'But I remember now, all the events of my past life.'
The green glass mixing bowl sat on the table, she placed the sugar
next to it and rummaged through the cabinet drawers to find the
measuring cups.
'I remember the first time I met all three of you...on Saturn.'
Baking powder, the girl glanced at another cabinet, why did they
always put things up so high? She grabbed the stool again and placed
in next to the counter.
'You were all so kind and sweet to me.' Dark purple eyes stared
into space. 'But it was all a lie.'
She blinked and glanced up at the shelf...baking powder. A tiny hand
grabbed the box and she stepped onto the floor.
'You were all afraid of me, afraid of the power I had inside.'
Coca powder, there had to be some here, Michiru-mama had used it
at Christmas time to make cookies. Perhaps the cupboard over the sink.
She pulled her constant companion, the stool, over to the sink with
her and mounted it once again. Coca, Hotaru smiled as she took the can
from the shelf.
'The horror had been born, the senshi of destruction.' She looked at her
small hands. 'And now, you're all determined to keep me a child. You're
afraid you won't be able to control me!'
Eggs and milk were all she needed now. The little girl checked her
ingredients with the recipe that Mako-chan had given her. There was one
thing on the table that was her own secret ingredient. She picked up the
plastic bag and smiled.
'This is your own fault, the three of you could have prevented it.'
There was a least a half a cup of yellow powder in the bag, more than
enough. Good thing she had one parent that worked in a research lab,
there were all sorts of poisons and toxins lying about. Anyone could
pick up a bag and stick it in with their school supplies without being
noticed. She held it up to the light.
'Keep out of reach of children, good advice!'
Hotaru measured the portions and mixed the contents together.
'Don't you three think I know what's going on? You can't control me
forever.'
Her eyes narrowed as she looked in the direction of the stairs. No doubt
they were all sound asleep dreaming sweet dreams.
'That's why you won't let me age. I'm tired of being eight years old,
I want to grow up!'
The little girl picked up the plastic bag and carefully dipped her finger
inside. She tasted just the tiniest portion and made a sour face.
The powder was very bitter, that's why she had chosen this brownie mix.
"Be careful, don't put in too much sugar!" Mako-chan had warned her.
A tiny smile spread across her face as she added an extra half-cup of
sugar to hide the taste of the poison. Hotaru poured the batter into the
waiting pan and placed it in the oven. She set the timer and sat at the
kitchen table waiting.
'I won't let the three of you control me forever! I'm stronger than all of
you combined.'
She laid her head on her arms and sighed.
'I should be a teenager by now. I should be going out on dates like other
young ladies get to do. Why should I have to stay trapped in this tiny body?'
Hotaru stared at the oven door.
'Once the time guardian is gone I'll age.'
A sad smile drifted across her face.
'I'll miss you Michiru-mama, even if you're the most vain creature to ever
walk the face of the Earth! Haruka-papa, you're body will die, but that
massive ego of yours will probably haunt this house for the next one
thousand years!'
The little girl giggled at the thought.
'Setsuna-mama, you could have stopped this if you would just let me
age! Its not as though I'll never see all of you again. You'll no doubt
reappear in time for Crystal Tokyo. I wonder how old I'll be then? We can't
stay dead you know, it's all a vicious cycle of death and rebirth. Our souls caught in a galactic loop that just keeps playing over and over again.'
"Hotaru darling?" The little girl jumped when she heard her Michiru-mama's voice. "Are you baking something?" Michiru smiled at the child.
"Uh..." The girl squirmed nervously, why were they up so early? She took a
quick look at the clock, it was later than she had thought. Their little
darling looked up at her parents with pure innocent eyes. "I'm making
brownies for you!"
"How sweet." Setsuna smiled.
Haruka gave the air an appreciative sniff. "Smells good, when will they be
done?"
Michiru gave her lover's waist a pinch. "You don't need any sweets!"
"I know," Haruka grinned slyly at her partner. "I'm sweet enough already!"
"That's not what I meant!" The sea senshi countered playfully.
Hotaru put on her oven mitts and gently pulled the brownies out of the oven.
Setsuna stood over her smiling. "Hotaru, the three of us have been talking."
The time guardian took a seat at the kitchen table.
"We've decided that it's time for you to advance in age." Haruka said with a
smile on her face.
"We think you've earned it." Michiru added.
"Really?" A broad grin spread across her tiny face. "I can be older?" She
stood with the hot pan of brownies in her hand. They trusted her! They
were going to let her age! She could just accidentally drop the pan on
the floor and no one would be the wiser. No one would have to die after all.
"How much older?" This was wonderful, she could be sixteen or seventeen, that
would great!
"We've decided that you can be nine." Setsuna informed her.
'Nine! That's it...nine?' Hotaru's eyes grew as wide as saucers.
'You can't be serious! Nine? You rotten...the three of you deserve this!'
The little girl plastered a 'cute as a button' look on her face and said.
"Here Setsuna-mama, have a tasty brownie!"
*******************
RESPECTIVE NAMES AND LIKENESSES ARE PROPERTY OF
TOEI ANIMATION, NAOKO TAKEUCHI/KODANSHA, DIC
AND OTHERS, THEY ARE NOT MINE.
My favorite topic in writing is humor/parody, but
there is something too irresistible in dark humor
to ignore it!
SWEET REVENGE
By Yorkie
'Funny how the past repeats itself.'
She thought as she moved the stool over to the counter, she
couldn't yet reach the top shelves.
'Even more peculiar, how memories seem to come back in a rush.'
She clutched the bag of sugar against her small frame as she
climbed down. 'But I remember now, all the events of my past life.'
The green glass mixing bowl sat on the table, she placed the sugar
next to it and rummaged through the cabinet drawers to find the
measuring cups.
'I remember the first time I met all three of you...on Saturn.'
Baking powder, the girl glanced at another cabinet, why did they
always put things up so high? She grabbed the stool again and placed
in next to the counter.
'You were all so kind and sweet to me.' Dark purple eyes stared
into space. 'But it was all a lie.'
She blinked and glanced up at the shelf...baking powder. A tiny hand
grabbed the box and she stepped onto the floor.
'You were all afraid of me, afraid of the power I had inside.'
Coca powder, there had to be some here, Michiru-mama had used it
at Christmas time to make cookies. Perhaps the cupboard over the sink.
She pulled her constant companion, the stool, over to the sink with
her and mounted it once again. Coca, Hotaru smiled as she took the can
from the shelf.
'The horror had been born, the senshi of destruction.' She looked at her
small hands. 'And now, you're all determined to keep me a child. You're
afraid you won't be able to control me!'
Eggs and milk were all she needed now. The little girl checked her
ingredients with the recipe that Mako-chan had given her. There was one
thing on the table that was her own secret ingredient. She picked up the
plastic bag and smiled.
'This is your own fault, the three of you could have prevented it.'
There was a least a half a cup of yellow powder in the bag, more than
enough. Good thing she had one parent that worked in a research lab,
there were all sorts of poisons and toxins lying about. Anyone could
pick up a bag and stick it in with their school supplies without being
noticed. She held it up to the light.
'Keep out of reach of children, good advice!'
Hotaru measured the portions and mixed the contents together.
'Don't you three think I know what's going on? You can't control me
forever.'
Her eyes narrowed as she looked in the direction of the stairs. No doubt
they were all sound asleep dreaming sweet dreams.
'That's why you won't let me age. I'm tired of being eight years old,
I want to grow up!'
The little girl picked up the plastic bag and carefully dipped her finger
inside. She tasted just the tiniest portion and made a sour face.
The powder was very bitter, that's why she had chosen this brownie mix.
"Be careful, don't put in too much sugar!" Mako-chan had warned her.
A tiny smile spread across her face as she added an extra half-cup of
sugar to hide the taste of the poison. Hotaru poured the batter into the
waiting pan and placed it in the oven. She set the timer and sat at the
kitchen table waiting.
'I won't let the three of you control me forever! I'm stronger than all of
you combined.'
She laid her head on her arms and sighed.
'I should be a teenager by now. I should be going out on dates like other
young ladies get to do. Why should I have to stay trapped in this tiny body?'
Hotaru stared at the oven door.
'Once the time guardian is gone I'll age.'
A sad smile drifted across her face.
'I'll miss you Michiru-mama, even if you're the most vain creature to ever
walk the face of the Earth! Haruka-papa, you're body will die, but that
massive ego of yours will probably haunt this house for the next one
thousand years!'
The little girl giggled at the thought.
'Setsuna-mama, you could have stopped this if you would just let me
age! Its not as though I'll never see all of you again. You'll no doubt
reappear in time for Crystal Tokyo. I wonder how old I'll be then? We can't
stay dead you know, it's all a vicious cycle of death and rebirth. Our souls caught in a galactic loop that just keeps playing over and over again.'
"Hotaru darling?" The little girl jumped when she heard her Michiru-mama's voice. "Are you baking something?" Michiru smiled at the child.
"Uh..." The girl squirmed nervously, why were they up so early? She took a
quick look at the clock, it was later than she had thought. Their little
darling looked up at her parents with pure innocent eyes. "I'm making
brownies for you!"
"How sweet." Setsuna smiled.
Haruka gave the air an appreciative sniff. "Smells good, when will they be
done?"
Michiru gave her lover's waist a pinch. "You don't need any sweets!"
"I know," Haruka grinned slyly at her partner. "I'm sweet enough already!"
"That's not what I meant!" The sea senshi countered playfully.
Hotaru put on her oven mitts and gently pulled the brownies out of the oven.
Setsuna stood over her smiling. "Hotaru, the three of us have been talking."
The time guardian took a seat at the kitchen table.
"We've decided that it's time for you to advance in age." Haruka said with a
smile on her face.
"We think you've earned it." Michiru added.
"Really?" A broad grin spread across her tiny face. "I can be older?" She
stood with the hot pan of brownies in her hand. They trusted her! They
were going to let her age! She could just accidentally drop the pan on
the floor and no one would be the wiser. No one would have to die after all.
"How much older?" This was wonderful, she could be sixteen or seventeen, that
would great!
"We've decided that you can be nine." Setsuna informed her.
'Nine! That's it...nine?' Hotaru's eyes grew as wide as saucers.
'You can't be serious! Nine? You rotten...the three of you deserve this!'
The little girl plastered a 'cute as a button' look on her face and said.
"Here Setsuna-mama, have a tasty brownie!"
*******************