This was written for the "Inside the Box" challenge. The challenge was romance. And my one-shot had to include a boat. So Ladies, Gentlemen and various other life-forms, may I present... A Date with River Song!

A Date with River Song

"I've told you before, River. I will not always be there to get you each time you decide to jump out of a spaceship!" Shouted the Doctor as he shut the T.A.R.D.I.S doors.
He had just collected her from a Sycorax ship, where she had apparently been on a spontaneous holiday, which had ended (in her words) "rather badly for the crew." That had been one of the biggest understatements in all The Doctor's life.
"Have you Doctor? Spoilers!"
"So...You...River!" The Doctor stumbled over his words. "River where are you this time? Have you done the Byzantium?"
He was greeted by a puzzled look.
"Pandorica?"
Greeted by another blank look.

***

"1969?"
"Yes! I've done that." Said River after a while of synchronising their diaries, "So, Adventure?"
The Doctor smiled. "Always good to go on an adventure, good for the health."
"So I was thinking maybe the Medusa Cascade or perhaps..." Her train of thought was interrupted, "You've already decided where we are going to go haven't you."
"Yes I have, River I'm going to do something that I haven't done in a while. I'm going to take you on a date. And I'm going to choose where we are going!"
"Surely I should fly the TARDIS, Doctor, that way we will actually get there instead of a random and guaranteed to be dangerous planet." Said River stressing the words "guaranteed" and "dangerous."
"River you will love the destination I have chosen, the planet Angel/5/Apple, well less like a planet, more like a great disc, more like a Frisbee! Imagine! A great, big Frisbee in the sky! And it's orbiting around five Suns! It's full of volcanoes so we will have to wear these cool orange suits all the time. We will be the first beings there in one hundred years!"
"Sounds fun Sweetie." Replied River, fiddling with the controls.
"River! What are you doing? That's not what you need to do to get to Angel/5/Apple!"
As The Doctor readjusted the controls River pulled a face, Angel/5/Apple did not sound romantic in the slightest. She silently begged the T.A.R.D.I.S to take them anywhere else. The T.A.R.D.I.S was telepathic, maybe there was a chance...
Her thoughts were interrupted as she was flung into the bars in the console room. 'Honestly!' She thought, 'When I fly I don't leave the brakes on!'

The T.A.R.D.I.S landed.
"No! No! No!" Said The Doctor as he looked on the scanner, "Where have you taken us now Old Girl?"
"What is it Sweetie?"
"The T.A.R.D.I.S has taken us to some planet with lakes and fairy-lights. Boring."
'Great,' thought River Song. "Let's go and look, Doctor."
"If you insist." He replied half-heartedly.
River looked outside. "Thanks Old Girl," she murmured to the T.A.R.D.I.S.
Outside there was a massive lake lightened by the sky full of stars and the full moon. All across the lakes were bobbing lights in warm colours. And there were little boats full of all types of alien couples.
"River! Don't even think about it! I will not, and I repeat not, sit in a boat on the lake."

A little while later The Doctor and River were in one of the little boats. River smiled. The Doctor looked uncomfortable.
"This is fun isn't it Doctor." Said River Song sweetly as they rowed into the middle of the lake.
"It isn't Angel/5/Apple. But, if you like this sort of thing..." He said grumpily.
After a few minutes he started to shift in his seat awkwardly.
"Sweetie, what's wrong?"
He sighed. "River, I've got something for you. I was going to give it to you on Angel/5/Apple and it will be a less spectacular presentation now but it would mean a lot to me if you wore it."
River gasped, could it be?
He reached into his jacket and got out a small box.
River smiled. It must be. She knew they were already married but they didn't have those! They didn't have rings. What was the appropriate answer? Thank you? No, that sounded weird. Amy and Rory had had rings, it was only fitting in River's mind that their daughter had one too. Nah, she knew what she would say.
"YES!" She exclaimed as The Doctor opened the box towards her.
She smiled at him. He then looked confused. She then looked in the box and her expression lessened slightly.

Inside the box was a bowtie.

"River, it will mean a lot to me if you wear it." Said he sincerely.
"Okay then." She replied, as she said this, his face lit up. She was dreading wearing this. She was also now sure that no Timelords had a sense of fashion whatsoever.
"Thank you River! I knew you would see it! Bow ties are cool!"
Then he had another idea, "I'll help you put it on!"
"No, Doctor," she was struggling to find a reason not to wear it, "How about I only wear it on special occasions, it's far too important to wear at any other time."
"Nonsense! This is a special occasion!" He said ecstatically. He put it on her.
River sighed, she was sure that she had never looked as daft as this in her whole life. It could be much worse though she contemplated, it could be a fez. She couldn't abide those things. She made a promise to herself now, if The Doctor ever wore a fez she would literally destroy it.
"Brilliant! No I don't say brilliant, fantastic? No!" The Doctor was speaking to himself again.
"What I'm trying to say River is now you look cool! Bow ties are cool!" He smiled to himself again.
Her nonsense Timelord thought River to herself, her nonsense Timelord with no sense of fashion.
"You know Doctor, this is the best date yet." She leaned towards him.
And then the boat tipped over.

They were in the water, and it was pretty cold!
"River!" Yelled The Doctor, bobbing up to the surface.
"Yes Doctor?" She replied, thinking that the Doctor would be concerned for her safety. She had surfaced only a few metres away.
"River you compromised the balance of the boat!" He shouted while treading water.
As if that wasn't obvious she thought.
"River? Have you still got that bowtie?" He asked.
Drat! She still had it around her neck. Then she seized the opportunity. Only her face was above water! She quickly loosened the bowtie and it went underwater.
"No! Doctor, it must have come loose! I think it's gone to the bottom of the lake."
"No problem, I'll get you another one! Come and swim towards me, we'll put the boat the right way up together..." Then he realised something, how could he be so stupid?
"River!"
"What now?" She was swimming closer.
"River. Swim for your life! Quick! Get back to the T.A.R.D.I.S!"

River looked around them. It suddenly all made sense. She and The Doctor started to swim quickly. The lake had been full with alien couples in boats but no-one made a fuss when they had fallen in the water! Instead of the couples there were now Sycorax all pointing their guns at River and The Doctor.

The next few minutes consisted of The Doctor and River avoiding lasers from the guns the Sycorax were firing whilst trying to head towards shore. 'Oh why did I leave my gun on the T.A.R.D.I.S,' thought River.
"Friends of yours I presume?" Asked The Doctor as he swam beside her.
River spluttered on a mouthful of lake water. "Don't laugh!"
The Doctor hid a grin.
She stopped coughing; now talking only while taking breaths in the front crawl. "They found me. They're from the spaceship. The spaceship I jumped out of. I guess they're angry that I killed their leader, main pilot and a good third of their ship's personnel."
"River! I...Never mind! I don't want to know! Anyway Sycorax don't use guns they use spears and stuff! Why do these Sycorax have laser guns?"
"Well I kind of convinced them that they would do better with another weapon!"
"How did you do that?"
"With a gun..."
The Doctor's face showed his disapproval. Then he got back to the matter at hand. "River laser twelve o'clock!"
River narrowly avoided being blasted.
"Why must a date with you always involve running, or in this case swimming, away from a monster?"
"Oh, River you love it really!"
She smiled. "What happened to all those couples?" She said as she swatted away one of the floating lights with her next swimming stroke.
"I don't think that they were ever there. A perception filter of some kind. I'd say that the Sycorax were pretty annoyed that you did kill most of their crew!"
She splashed him with water. "It was necessary! They were trying to control one of the Ood colonies!"

They were nearing the shallower part of the lake.
"River the next part is hard, we have to wade through this water and run along the shore to get to the T.A.R.D.I.S without getting shot!"
"Do you have a plan, one that might ensure our survival?"
"...Ye-No! Of course I haven't!"
"Right then. Geronimo."
"Geronimo!"

It was almost a blur as they waded through the shallow water and ran across the shore. Green laser light seemed to be all they could see but somehow, through numerous ducking and pushing each other out of the lasers way they managed to get near the T.A.R.D.I.S.
"No time for the key!" Shouted The Doctor as they got even closer. He snapped his fingers and the T.A.R.D.I.S doors opened.
They scrambled into the T.A.R.D.I.S and shut the doors.

"Phew!" They both seemed to exclaim.
"Shame about the bow tie..." said he.
River Song chose to ignore this. "Doctor if you could drop me off at the Ood Sphere that would be great. I need to explain the Sycorax situation..."
She looked at The Doctor, he looked sad.
"Come on now, Doctor. It wasn't that bad a date! Remember the last one? This was probably the safest one yet!"
She kissed him and he smiled.
"Okay, next time I choose the location. How about the Singing Towers of Darillium?"

As she adjusted the controls for the Ood Sphere, The Doctor tried to smile while his heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces.