If Not Passion, But What...?

Genre: Romance, Fantasy (a little Family if you squint hard)

Rating: Just a little above T for some implications

Synopsis: He had always come and visited her. It was their forbidden tryst, hidden behind closed French white doors. But now, this would be the last time that he would see her; and he would hoard it for the eternity he was a demon.

Word count: 3,669 words

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Too tired (again x3) to think of something catchy. I do own the little burst of energy ;)

His wings fluttered gently as he descended down. The black-ink sky hid him like a curtain as he slipped through the night. All was silent. No one would be caught awake in the dead of the night for fear and the demonic things that ruled the night. And that was the way he liked it; he hated light.

He stepped down onto the stone balcony. He had no worries if there was anyone to see him. At his sight, they would be struck dead. For no mortal should stare at a demon's true form.

Like ribbons, the black ink unraveled from his body as he shifted forms. It was already too dangerous to be here but he could not expose her further to his dark matter. It was deadly poison to all the senses, and snatched the lives of many. His hair faded from the dark ink into metallic grey and slowly silver white. Somehow, she always seemed to like his white hair, saying it reminded her of pure snow. Though how he was pure mystified him.

As he walked by the potted shrubs, they wilted into shriveled dead husks. As if black acid was poured over, their luscious red colour dissolved into corpse grey. Bowing down their crumpled leaves they let him pass to his treasure, for nothing could impede in his way.

He swiftly pushed back the French white doors. They were never locked. But he was surprised that she still expected him. It had been so long since the last time. He reached out to push back the sheer white curtains and they shivered at his touch. As if a breeze drifted through, they parted for his way, allowing him to see his treasure.

The full moon illuminated silver threads, drifting them onto the earth's plane. It ran past his figure, clumsily scrawling over the floor and clinging to the ring curtain canopy. It cast shadows, bringing out of the white sheets the dark sleeping figure inside. He let out a small smile.

Careful not to disturb the stillness of the curtains, he silently slipped through, letting their silk run through his fingers as he passed. Within these curtains, laid all his secrets; treasure; light—the only light he would actually let pass through.

And as he stared down, it never ceased to stop his mind. All coherent thoughts scrambled and halted for he was much too busy to process anything at all. It seemed she had that hypnotic effect over him each time—not that he minded.

Her chest raised and fell with her every breath. Hands knotted into loose fists lay on top of her midsection, as if protectively. His emerald eyes trailed up to her pale face, feverously flushed. Her thick eyelashes cast shadows over her deathly pale skin. The usual tied up raven hair was splattered out over her pillow. But her lips—that were what caught his attention more. He couldn't help it.

Softly, he trailed his hand over her bare shoulder. She was wearing thin white parchment nightdress that made his task harder than it should be. He shouldn't have been here, not now. Through the white canopy he could see her ring shining bright. It wasn't done yet, but she would be soon someone else's. That's why he would come here for the last time—taking as much as he could want like the demon he was and hoard it for the eternity she wasn't his.

The ivory sheets dipped underneath his weight and he reached out to her, his gaze never breaking form her face. With the uttermost care he placed his hand under her back and pulled her up. Her body seemed hot under his touch, but he did not bide it much thought. He lifted her up like she was glass and placed her onto his lap, cradling her against him. She did not wake but leaned against his body.

Now closer, he drank all her presence. It seemed more magnified than before—everything about the woman in his arms. But at the same time, under all that shine was a dark luster. Like dark coal under silver gloss, he could see the outlines of it. Something pooled into the pit of his stomach. She wasn't like this last time he had been with her. If he focused closely, he could feel it emanate an aura almost like smoke and float from her midsection. He furrowed his eyebrows unconsciously as his senses sharpened, sensing the ominous danger.

Just as he was about to place his hand on her lower waist, he felt a jolt, like lightening, and froze. He didn't move as he felt the woman stir in his arms. She shook her head, still dazed from her sleep. As her russet eyes settled on him, they widened out of their sleep shell.

"Toushiro…?" her pink lips formed an 'o.' It was more of a question than a statement. "What are…are you doing here?" she whispered hoarsely. "I thought you'd never come back…" She didn't sound regretful but as if she couldn't believe it.

He pulled her closer. "I had never said that…Momo." She sighed at that and wrapped her arms around him. He could feel her quick beating heart through her thin white dress. "I'm so glad you came back," she murmured into his neck. "I was scared that—that you would…never come back…" He could feel her sob quietly into his neck.

If he, too, had a heart he was sure it would have beaten faster. But he did not. They stayed together, holding each other as if it would be their last, but in a way it would be. "Momo," he broke the silence.

She pushed back and looked at him through tear-rimmed eyes. "Yes, Toushiro?" she breathed. He placed his hands on her waist and pushed her off him, placing her on the bed. A puzzled expression passed through her face as he turned away from her.

He had to end this while he still could. Later on would just make this harder for her and inevitably for him. "Momo," he repeated more sternly, "When are you to wed?" He looked at her and caught the look of surprise. She wasn't expecting him to question her about that.

She looked down and played with the fabric of her dress. "In…a couple of weeks," she quietly said as if she was confessing her sins. But it was the other way around. He was the one that started this.

"Do you wish to wed?"

She snapped her head up but he stared impassively at her. "Toushiro…?"

"Do you wish to wed?" he asked again, coldly. Tears started to reform back in her eyes. "Well, yes but—"

"Then you should wed him," he whispered before he kissed her. She gasped into his throat and he took that opportunity to deepen it further. Clutching the nape of her neck he cradled her as she clung onto his shirt. It was everything about her that drove him crazy. Like a drug, she was his addiction—he just couldn't get enough. The demon instinct wanted to take more and tear her to bits. But he knew he couldn't, for it would hurt her more.

Memorizing the last moments, he pulled back, all too much fleeting. "Remain happy, Momo," he said quietly. He kissed her cheek before getting up. It was done and there would be no more times like this. He faced straight ahead, not wanting to look at her, before pushing apart the curtains.

"Wait, Toushiro!"

He froze as he felt her clutch onto him from behind. She pressed her tear-stained face into the back of his shirt. "P-please don't leave…" she pleaded. "I-I don't want to lose you again."

She wept into the back of his shirt. He could feel his will wavering and had to resist the urge to turn around and take away her tears.

"Why—why do you try so hard to stay away, Toushiro?" she asked sadly. "I thought—I thought that…you…wanted to be together." Even though she spoke just above a whisper, he heard it well. Echoing in his mind, he wanted to turn around and shake her hard and take away all those doubts.

But, even as he felt his self-control breaking, he couldn't.

"This was never right," he said briskly. "You are engaged and to be wed soon."

"But I knew you before!" she said indignantly. He could hear her take deep breaths before continuing. "Before all of this…all of this arrangement…you were in my life first. And—and I want…you…to be there…for longer."

A lump formed in his throat but he forced it down. "So?" He laughed as cruelly as he could. "It was just for fun. Nothing else."

A deathly silence filed the room, and he couldn't but feel it was like the demon dark matter, choking him and her as she remained silence. Her grip loosened before tightening like an after-thought.

She murmured something into his shirt that even his acute sense of hearing could not pick up.

"What was that?" he asked.

A deep intake of breath.

"…I'm pregnant Toushiro," she said in a shaky breath.

A silence even more deafening than before filled the room. It was like something shifted in the atmosphere and all thoughts of torturing her to the point of hate vanished.

"What…what did you say?" he managed to rasp out. He could feel her hands shake and tears press into his shirt as she sobbed. "Momo," he said briskly, "what did you say?" His tone escalated into a command. But she didn't answer and still wept.

He whipped around and took her hands into his. "Momo, look up at me," he ordered. He needed to know, needed to make sure. That it wasn't true. That there wouldn't be danger left. She turned her head up and his whole body froze.

Her eyes were dazed and empty. Black shadows outlined them, and her cheeks were deathly flushed against her pale skin. Her breathing was fast and hollow. He cursed inside. Why hadn't he paid more attention to this?

He cradled her warm face into his hands as he looked down at her. "Momo—please tell me. Whose child is it?" He had to know. Even if it was another's it would save his sanity knowing she would be safe.

Her mouth opened to let out raspy breaths and he could feel her lean closer into his hands. She staggered and Toushiro caught her in his arms, holding her warm body against his. "I…have not…consumed any…other relations…but with only—only…you," she let out a tired whisper before closing her eyes and collapsing against him.

Fear climbed from the pit of his stomach, grasping on the insides of him and making its way through. It was an unknown emotion. But it felt like everything had been lurched into a deep dark abyss. Soon images flooded through his mind: women pale as a fish's underbelly, grasping and screaming, the abomination that came out covered in its mother's blood. All of this…to become reality.

He looked down at his woman and shook her shoulders. She whimpered in the back of her throat and looked up at him through her lashes. "Tou…shiro?" she whispered.

"How long?" he asked shortly. She snuggled closer, wrapping her arms around him. "A while. About two and half months," she muttered before closing her eyes again. "Can we…can we just stay like this please…?" She whispered.

He did not respond as he still tried to soak everything in. If she was pregnant…and he was the only she had ever…then that would mean. He could feel something drop down inside.

That would mean she would bear an abomination—an abomination that would kill its way out of its mother.

Slowly, he lifted her into his arms and placed her onto the bed, careful not to disturb her rest. It was as if the slightest problem could very well hurt her fragile body. He sat next to her body, and watched as she slept. His eyes traveled down to her mid-section, and now that he knew, he could very well see a small bump.

He growled and concentrated on the black demon aura it emanated. Only a two month fetus and it was spreading poison? The uncontrollable toxic would be dangerous to itself and even more so to the mother…

When he placed his hand on her midsection, the aura seemed to jump at touch—like the damn thing was happy.

"That seems to happen when you're near," she whispered.

He snapped his head up at the soft sound. She looked up at him with weak eyes though she was smiling. Momo looked down toward her midsection and glided her hand on top of his. "Before…this used to happen…but it's stronger now…" The way she looked down and smiled at her midsection made him disgusted inside—like she actually adored the damn thing.

She looked up at him through her lashes. "Are you happy, Toushiro?"

He narrowed his eyes. He was going to have to tell her the truth. Even if it would hurt her, he had to tell her or else it would kill her.

"Momo…" he whispered. She looked at him expectantly. "Yes Toushiro?"

He clenched his fists. Somehow the lump in his throat was not moving down. He looked up and straight into her eyes.

"We have to kill it…Momo."

Her eyes widened. "What are you talking about Toushiro?"

His eyes didn't waver. "I'm serious, Momo. We have to kill it."

"What?" she inhaled. Suddenly, her whole demeanor changed. She pushed herself, struggling and her arms shaking. He leaned forward to help her but she shook her head. Momo leaned against the head board and looked up at Toushiro with set eyes. "I don't understand…Toushiro, don't you care…about our baby?"

"It isn't a baby," he said acidly. "It's an abomination. And it will kill you."

"Kill me…?"

He gritted his teeth. "It's been already two months and its poison is spreading. We cannot leave it any longer."

"But we can't—."

"Momo, there's no option," he said curtly.

"But!" she cried hysterically. "There has to be a way! Don't you love our baby?"

"I have already told you that thing is not a human," he said testily. "It is a damned demon and as it grows it will slowly…"—he took a raspy breath—"kill you." No matter how many times he said, the intent of his words hung over him like an accusing guillotine.

Her brown eyes trembled with fear and tears ran down her cheeks. She opened her mouth, trying to form the words with her lips but they fell in raspy breaths. Momo shook her head. "Toushiro…I love…our baby…and I'm not going to hurt it," she said, with a shaky tone.

His eyes narrowed. "Momo…" he said dangerously low. His could feel hot anger rising through him, crushing down the fear inside of him. He inched closer towards her. "I will kill it if I have to," he threatened.

"No! You won't Toushiro!" She shook her head. "No, that will not happen!" She looked at him through tear filled eyes. "I don't care if it's a demon! I love it as much as I love you!"

He froze.

….Love?

Momo continued, hysterically. "Since the moment I knew I was pregnant I loved our baby! When I found out I was so elated! I was…I was carrying your child and that just—just made me so happy! I thought you would be over joyed too! Our baby kept me from running away from my engagement. And I-I couldn't wait to tell you! Because Toushiro, I'm so scared…" She sobbed. "The maids, they've noticed. And they know that this isn't my fiancé's baby…They've been talking and I'm so scared Toushiro! What if my fiancé finds out? Will I be…?" She gasped and wept into her hands.

He didn't move. He couldn't. He couldn't comprehend anything such as…love.

And then it slowly started to sink in. His eyes softened and he took her into his arms. This caused her to shake uncontrollably and she wept onto his shoulder.

There in his arms, it caused an urge to comfort her. And so he did. Soothingly rubbing her back, he whispered into her ear. "Shh. Don't cry. I won't let anything hurt you." The words just seemed to pour out of his mouth, but they didn't feel disgusting on his lips.

Momo slowly calmed down until her cries turned into soft hiccups. He held her, not wanting to let go. When he had her so close, he didn't want anything to take her away.

After a while she pushed herself deeper into his embrace and he tightened his grip around her. "Toushiro…?" she asked.

"Yes?"

She took a shaky breath and spoke into his shoulder. "Even though you weren't there…our baby still comforted me." She pulled back and looked up at him with determined eyes. "He isn't an abomination. He does care for me."

"He?"

Momo looked down and unbuttoned two buttons above her navel. He looked at her quizzically as she took one of his hands with her and slipped down them onto her bare midsection. He stiffened, and stood still to preserve some self-control. But as soon as she placed her other hand on his hand, he calmed down. He could feel her warm skin, but there was a soft, subtle beat pulsing inside that he could feel.

"What…" he uttered.

She let out a small smile. "Just wait."

And as if in response, a small burst of energy sparked. But instead of backing away like before, he stayed still. It was a warm instantaneous feeling that flooded through him.

Mommy?

His blue green eyes widened. He looked up at Momo but she just smiled down from where the sound came from. She soothingly rubbed her hands over her stomach and whispered soft caresses.

He could feel the energy murmur and almost coo at the effect. "I want you to meet your father…" Momo said softly. Instantly, the energy sparked up and ran through him, like as if fuel was added to fire.

She looked up at him expectantly, her deep brown eyes nudging him. He noticed the shadows were faint and there was a soft pink colour to her visage.

"Toushiro…say hi to him." She smiled at him. "Let him hear your voice."

He was stunned but she squeezed his hand reassuringly. He looked down, still unsure as to say what exactly. Momo squeezed his hand and said, "Your father is happy to hear you voice, Natsu."

Again, a feeling washed over him like a soft lap of warm water cleaning any resentment and hate from before. It was something that he had honestly never felt in his life. But at the same time, it was so comforting and welcoming. It was neither harsh nor hard but softly beckoning and inviting. And he found himself following into the warm invitation.

Momo looked at him apologetically. "He can only say, 'mommy,' since that's all I taught him. I wasn't sure if you would come back…" she trailed off. Without him knowing it, he brought his hands up and cradled his face, forcing Momo to look at him. Tears retraced old tracks as she looked down.

"He would comfort me when I was alone because…I was so scared. But now…I can't bear the thought if he gets killed because of me."

It clicked in his head, like slow gears in a clock.

"That's why I didn't want you to leave," she confessed quietly. "I don't know how long it'll be until my fiancé finds out and then…" She gulped.

She would die.

She didn't have to finish; he knew mortal customs and jealousies.

If he left her, she would die.

If he hadn't come, they would kill her. Because she was harboring someone else's child.

A dark feeling consumed him at the thought. It enveloped him, but this time, it ran his blood cold. And the feeling of fear was back. It crawled from the pitt of his stomach and retraced it back, clutching at his insides.

No.

He pulled her towards himself, a little forcefully. "Toushiro?" she squeaked uncertainly. He cradled her neck and pushed her towards him. "I won't let them," he whispered.

"You what—?"

"I won't let them touch you at all. I won't leave you," he said determinedly.

"Oh, Toushiro…" he heard her weep out of happiness. She hugged him and they stayed together in each other's arms. As if all the hurt and hate had disappeared into the air that moment and just left a sense of comfort in each other. Moments passed until he pulled back. Sweeping away the covers, he laid her down on the bed, looking straight into her eyes.

"Sleep; you need it," he ordered quietly. He pulled back until he felt her grip onto his shirt.

"Can you please stay with me…?" She asked, her cheeks slightly pink from blush.

His eyes widened, but softened as he saw the look in her eyes. He lay down on the bed next to her and dragged an arm around her. "Just for tonight," he said resignedly.

Cradling her from the back, he settled his arms around his middle with his chin on top of her head. She snuggled closer and he could smell the sweet fragrance from her hair. He sighed.

"Toushiro…what will we do?" she asked tentatively. He tightened his grip and bent down to her shoulder to give it a small kiss. "I will take you away," he whispered into his ear. "We'll leave this place tomorrow morning. I'll protect you with my life…Momo."

She sighed and pulled the covers up. "I knew you wouldn't leave us," she muttered softly before falling into a soft steady breath.

He closed his eyes and relaxed. I won't let anyone hurt you.

A short burst of energy sparked through his hands, like an agreement, but he did not tense this time. He let out a small smile and let the warm feeling wrap over them, like a soft blanket.

And you, too.

Author's Note: Well, that was the first chappy of The Archives. This will be my one-shot collection for any stray stories that need a home :) Treat them nicely, they're neglected sometimes. This will be updated at random times, so don't expect a concrete schedule (though, I never really had one).

This will probably by the closest I get to a Mature story and I don't plan on writing further. I leave it to you and your choices/imagination. I just really wanted to write a demon Toushiro. (Cause that is jsut awesome) Had an urge today to finish it and worked myself for two hours and am very tired at the moment. Ugh, got to stopp over working myself. XD Kinda have mixed feelings about this but you tell me :)

Constructive Criticism accepted, reviews and feed back love and treasured! Good night and PCE!