I stood still in the corner of his room, a dim light was lit across the room, and I watched him sleep soundly and peacefully. Oh, how much I missed him.
Slowly, I walked towards his sleeping figure and sat beside him at the side of his King sized bed. The bed sheets were covered in green, and his wall was painted after my eyes. Emerald.
I sighed heavily. "Syaoran, you have no idea how much I missed you…" I whispered softly, I brushed some strands of his bangs to get a view of his face. He looks more handsome when he's asleep.
His pointed nose was revealed, his strong chin, his perfect lips, his smooth skin, and even his long lashes that made any girl fall for him immediately.
Boy, you had no idea how I resisted from falling for my one and only rival, Syaoran Li.
I traced the shape of his shape, and a bit surprised he didn't stir from his sleep.
Suddenly, a few flashbacks appeared into my head as I sang a song that I composed for him. Only for him…
There's a song that's inside of my soul…
It's the one that I tried to write over and over again…
I'm awake in the infinite cold…
But you sing to me over and over again…
FLASHBACK:
"Why are you always like that?" he whined. GOD! When will he ever stop? Can't he see the reason why I'm like this? He's been asking me that stupid question for the millionth time of the day!
"UGH! Can't you see? Isn't it obvious already?" I replied with the same tone, already tired from answering him, GOD, HE IS ANNOYING!
"SERIOUSLY! Can't you just state the obvious?" he said in a mocking tone. I rolled my eyes, and sighed heavily.
"I do what I want. Whenever I want to! I'm like this since the beginning! And not to mention you're as annoying as hell! One of the reasons why I'm like this!" I snapped
"HEY! TAKE THAT BACK!" He said, I just stuck out my tongue to him, then his face suddenly changed, something I can't read, but he was staring right back at me…
"Don't do that again." He warned "Do what?" I asked "The one you just did." He said flatly, I just rose my eyebrow in confusion. Then again, I stuck my tongue out to him, and then groaned in return "I said stop doing that! God knows… what I might do to you when you do that again…" he murmured the last part, I chuckled "What? You're gonna kiss me?" I said sarcastically. Then he widened his eyes.
Shit. WHY DID I SAY THAT!
"Woah! Sorry! That was a joke!" I said raising my hands in the air childishly, then he sighed in relief "You scared me back there."
END OF FLASHBACK:
So I lay my head back down…
And I lift my hands and pray…
To be only yours I pray…
To be only yours…
FLASHBACK:
I sat quietly under a Sakura tree, trying to calm myself and relax, just for once in my life.
But I can't possibly forget what the doctor just told me the last time I was admitted from the Hospital.
"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid to say that, you're illness is unknown. We have no idea why, but your body will eventually shut down in seven days, I'm afraid that we don't have the cure either."
That statement hit me like I had just been hit a pile of heavy blocks over my head. I sobbed quietly, nobody was going to make me feel better this time, I had no one.
God, I have a FREAKIN' UNKNOWN ILLNESS! I'm going to die in SEVEN DAYS?
I JUST WANT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! I've had enough! I've been treated badly, and now, I'm going to die before achieving my dreams and my goals.
Can't this get any worse?
"Hey there" DOUBLE UGH! WHY DOES HE HAVE TO SHOW UP THIS TIME?
"Hey, is something wrong?" he asked, he must have noticed my expression, I avoided his gaze, I didn't want to let him see me like this, he's just going to humiliate me! I'VE ALREADY HAD ENOUGH!
"Go away. Leave." I spat at him, hoping that might work, but he frowned and he leaned closer curiously…
"W-what are you doing?" I said, feeling uncomfortable by his closeness
"Are you…crying?" he asked. I mentally slapped myself when I met his gaze. Then he widened his eyes.
"A-are you okay? What happened?" he began to worry.
I just shoved him in return "Go away!" I said, trying to hold my tears from falling…
I couldn't help it; I needed someone to worry over me, just like THAT… I longed for it.
"You have to tell me what's wrong! What happened? Did someone hurt you?" he asked, looking right into my eyes, with his heart stopping amber eyes.
Did I just say HEART-STOPPING?
"I said GO AWAY!" I shouted in replied, I shoved him as hard as I could, but he was too strong, he suddenly hugged me, while tried to hit him hard on his chest.
I couldn't help it; I needed someone to hold me just like THAT… I Longed for it.
I calmed down after a few tries of hurting him, but it was no use… I just cried in his chest, I whimpered, I screamed, and I sobbed so many times… "There, cherry blossom, pour out all your feelings, don't be afraid… I'm right here for you…" he whispered tenderly in my ear. I looked up to him.
His eyes were so sincere…
I couldn't help it; I needed someone to say THAT to me… I longed for it!
Out of all people in the earth… WHY HIM? Why did he suddenly change his mind?
I just cried my heart out, until I ran out of tears, and I realized his shirt was soaking wet…
"S-sorry…" I apologized tamely
"Don't be." He smiled… but then he turned serious "What's wrong? Did something happen?" he asked
Oh no… Not this question, I couldn't tell him, I JUST CAN'T!
"You don't want to know…" I mumbled, unfortunately, he heard it
"I want to know" He said "trust me, you don't want to know!" I said
Then he held me close to his chest again "Please, Sakura. Tell me what's wrong?" I slightly shivered when he said my name for the first time, it sounded so good.
Then he looked down at me, I just avoided his gaze, feeling a little bit awkward on the look he was giving me…
Should I just really tell him? Should I tell everything to a certain person who I hated all these years? My one and only rival?
I guess NOT.
He only sighed, then I glanced at him, he gave me a concerned look, but I just grunted in reply.
"I care about you Sakura, a lot! You have to open up and I could understand anything! For you!" he said
But again, I avoided his gaze and remained silently. He sighed heavily.
"Please, tell me what's wrong? Or I'll have to leave…" he said, my eyes widened.
I froze in my place; he sighed AGAIN and then stood up and began to walk away…
No! This can't be… I needed someone to hold to, to talk to, to cry on… I couldn't help this horrible feeling any longer…
Tears fell out from my eyes once again, and I rubbed it impatiently, how stubborn can I get? How can I not appreciate someone who tried to make me feel better? After all, that's just what I needed now…
I ran to him without thinking, I hugged him tightly, and sobbed again
"I-I'm sorry, just please, please d-don't leave me…" I sobbed again, GOD, I feel so hopeless…
Syaoran turned his back, and faced me, he looked at me with regret, and then hugged my tenderly.
We sat again Under the Sakura tree, my head rested on his shoulder. He decided to break the silence
"Will you tell me what's going on?" he asked.
I sat straight immediately, and stiffened a little "I…. uh…. Y-you won't probably see me next week anymore…" I said, then he looked at me in surprise "W-what? Where are you going? Where exactly? What school?" he said with a rush. I just flinched at his questions…
"I'm not going to another school or something…" I said "Then, why are you leaving?" he asked
"B-because… I'm going to heaven?" I said dumbly, "W-what? Now! Don't start a joke right now!" he just laughed
I was taken back, why would he laugh? Can't he see I'm serious?
"Are you saying I should go to hell?" I retorted "NO! NO! Who said I did? Now Sakura, will you just tell me where are you exactly going? Because honestly, I would be really, really, be willing to go with you anywhere in the world" He said, giving me that look again, something I can't read, it was awkward, But full with emotion.
I gaped at him, would he really do that "are you sure you wanna do that?" I said
He nodded, but I still doubted it.
"And even if you die, I'll die too…" He said. I froze or stiffened, I can't explain…
I stared back at him with shock, his face remained still and same, I tried to look if he was lying.
But to my fears, He's actually NOT faking it… I gulped, this is too serious…
"N-no… y-you can't do that…" I said "yes I can." He replied almost instantly.
I shook my head. This is too much… WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?
We stared at each other in silence, few minutes passed, he did not seem to break the gaze from me, for some reason, I felt my cheeks burning… Up to my ears.
"A-anyways, since you're the only one who knows this, I want to tell you a few things I've always wanted to do before I die…" I said "What is it?" he asked curiously
I sighed and sat close to him, and leaned by his side, and he did the same, which makes us leaning with each other. I hate to admit, but this position is cute. O_O
"This may sound stupid you know? Promise me you won't laugh?" I said, and he nodded
"First of all, I've always wanted to go to a carnival with someone, and have…fun." I said, and then.
He GAPED AT ME "WHAT? You…YOU WANT TO GO TO A CARNIVAL WITH A DATE? THE ICE PRINCESS WANTS TO GO TO A CARNIVAL WITH A DATE? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU-" I Placed both of my hands over his mouth, before he could continue any further… HE WAS SHOUTING SO LOUD THAT ANYONE COULD HEAR IT.
"Would you quiet down?" I hissed, "Sorry" he said, and then he motioned me to continue.
"Secondly, I want a HUGE teddy bear, to hold on every night, or when I feel like crying…" I said
He rose his eyebrows but I ignored it and continued "and lastly…." I paused, Then I blushed
"What? What is it?" he said, I glared at him "Never mind! What's the point of telling you this?" I said
"Sakura…" he said as he warned me, "Fine!" I pouted.
"I want… to fall in love… and….get…M-married…" I stuttered and blushed furiously, I'm gonna have to suicide after doing this, and scold myself on how stupid I was for doing this…
But surprisingly, he smiled. I shook my head.
His smile… It's so, beautiful, He looks so different, with that genuine smile, makes me, all giddy and bright, strangely a new feeling.
What could this mean?
"well that, my friend, Is possible!" he said and he messed my hair, which I strangely ignored it
"How? I can't fall in love so fast?" I said "maybe you can…" he said huskily… I blushed for some reason.
END OF FLASHBACK~
Now I know now,
You're my only…
Hope…
I sighed, still looking at his handsome face, I longed to touch his hair so passionately, those beautiful chestnut locks, and especially, his bangs…
I tried to recall one of the most unforgetful moments I ever had, which involved him….
FLASHBACK:
I glared at my phone, there displayed Syaoran's number…
Then I glared at the call button, which I had been trying to touch a few times already…
GOD DAMNIT! JUST TOUCH THE FREAKIN' BUTTON RIGHT NOW!
FINALLY! I pressed it with my thumb, and I heard the ringing tone buzzing in the phone…
It was only after2-3 rings he finally answered "hello?" His voice said
I gulped, I'm having this new feeling again when I heard his voice "Um.. ano… Uhhh are you busy today? I wanted to… ask you to come over at my house, and you know, maybe we could hang out?" I asked awkwardly…
"Sure! I'll be there in a few minutes…" he said as he hung up, I shook my head…
Okay, I didn't know it would be that easy…
Wanna know the reason why I called him out of all people?
Well, I just felt like calling him. O.O
Then, the doorbell rang, I opened it, and OH! He's already here? And why is he looking so attractive?
I shook my head "attractive?" I thought aloud.
He raised his eyebrows and his mouth formed a little "o"
OH MY !$%#! HE MUST HAVE HEARD IT!
"Umm… Yo, wassup, What happened to *minutes?*" I asked
"I just happened to pass by your house the minute I called you… and seriously, can you talk like a girl for once?" he said, I rolled my eyes "What am I supposed to say?" I cleared my throat
"Oh Hi Syaoran! Wow! Your looking so cute and attractive toddaayyy!" I said mimicking a girl's voice.
"What did you just call me? Cute and attractive? And I've heard that you said to me two times already…" He smirked.
I blushed furiously, GAH! Why did I say that? "Agh Whatever…"I groaned
"hey! How about we hang out in a CARNIVAL tonight? Hmm? I've got two entrance tickets, and you won't mind if you…?" I already knew what he meant… so…
"Sure! I'll get ready first, just sit down and wait for me, suit yourself" I said as I rushed upstairs…
"Seriously, I'm starting to think you're lesbian or something…" he said as we entered the gate and he eyed me from head to toe "Shut up! I wear what I want!" I said
My eyes wandered around, so many lights lit up; there were so many games to choose from, so many rides to go, and many TEDDY BEARS!
"let's go!" I said as I grabbed his hands and ran to wherever I want…
Unconsciously, I started to feel comfortable, holding his hand much longer than I expected…
I even smiled to myself… AHH! I'm CRAZY!
He already won me a few prizes…. AND HE EVEN GOT ME A HUGE TEDDY BEAR! Who knew he could have those mad skills in shooting targets?
"hey! Let's go to the Ferris wheel!" he said … I widened my eyes and avoided his gaze…
"Go on… Ride by yourself, don't worry, I'll wait here…" I murmured..
"What's wrong? You don't like Ferris wheels?" he frowned
"N-no… I just…" I paused… I sighed "Fine, let's go.." he smiled and he lead to the Ferris wheel
We were stuck at peak of the Ferris Wheel, It had to be stopped for a few minutes for some reason.
"hey Look Sakura! The view is soo GREAT!" He said
Oh no… I DARE NOT TO LOOK OUT THERE! The freakin' heights… it's just as scary as the GHOSTS…
"Come on! It's so beautiful…" He said, I noticed the how much he enjoyed this… I found myself blushing at his adorable face…
Then he looked at me, and he furrowed his eyebrows, our gaze met…
"Could it be that… You're scared of heights?"
AHG! FINALLY! He realized it! ABOUT TIME MAN!
"Y-yeah…" I said…
"Don't worry, It's not bad to overcome your fears, I appreciate that you tried to go along with me… Come on! At least, try to capture it's beauty, and have fun…" he said
I did what he said… I nearly gagged, but after a few moments, I was mesmerized….
Syaoran was right; it wasn't so bad after all
"having fun?" he asked, I looked at him and smiled "Yeah, you were right…" I said
He chuckled "You're a brave girl" he said as he messed my hair again…
Did I mention that I found myself addicted to his actions? Such as messing my hair?
I giggled, and then something else hit me…
I looked at him with round eyes, then I looked at the teddy bear I was hugging tightly…
"is he trying to fulfill my wishes?" I thought…
But there was one thing he was missing…
"What's wrong?" he asked…. "Uhmm… I know your trying to do the things I wished to do… I've told you about it yesterday right?" I asked
He smiled, My chest suddenly fluttered "yes, I'm glad you finally realized it…" he replied…
I looked down at my hands, blushing, and smiling shyly… "T-thank you…" I said
"Don't mention it! It was all for you to make you happy!" he said cheerfully…
I stared at him, he… he was trying to make me happy?
That's… a first to me… No one has ever tried doing that in my life…
"But, you're missing one thing…" I said sadly… and I looked away…
"You wanted to fall in love right?" he said, I shook my head at his straight forwardness…
I blushed "Y-yeah… I've always… I've always wondered how that felt, they say that it felt wonderful, but it might hurt too… B-but I'm not afraid… I'm actually willing to face anything…" I said
I sat straight and clenched my fists awkwardly in my lap, I felt his gaze upon me and I blushed…
GOSH! WHY DO I BLUSH A LOT WHEN I'M AROUND HIM? Since when did this start happening?
He lifted my chin, to make me face him "then, let me start, by doing this…" he said as he leaned closer to my face…
I blushed furiously and I closed my eyes and waited for it…
Wait… why am I doing this... I got to stop it….
He cupped my cheeks tenderly, and I felt my legs weakening…
Is it just him? Or is it my illness?
I don't know, but I felt that this was right… It was alright…
But that never came because SOMEONE SUDDENLY INTERRUPTED US…
"Hey, love birds, you may step out now? Because many more are waiting…" the man said…
We held our temper, we merely glared at him, and slightly pissed that he had to ruin that moment….
*Sing to me the song, of the stars…
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again…
When it feels like my dreams are so far…
Sing to me of the plans that you've had for me over again…*
I blushed every time I thought about what happened back there…
"Hey… I had fun today…" I said, when we arrived at my doorstep.
"Me too" he replied… as we let go of our hands… we were holding hands?
"G-goodnight…" I said as I entered my house "W-wait…" he said and I turned around…
"yeah?" I said "you're third wish… I'm… really willing to fulfill it…" he said…
I blushed at his statement… Did he just mean?
"I-I'll find the guy you liked, and… I-I'll help you… if that's okay with you…" he said, looking down to his feet…
Somehow, I felt disappointed when he said that, didn't he just tried to kiss me back at the Ferris wheel? What made him change his mind?
"I'd… appreciate that" I smiled. That was a half lie, half-truth…
He smiled… "Well, Goodnight.." he said as we separated…
I closed the door behind me, and felt disappointment all over me…
I was too scared to admit that…
He was the guy I like…
I wanted him to be the one… I wanted to stay with him forever….
If he continued to make me feel like this….
END OF FLASHBACK
*So I lay my head back down…
And I lift my hands and pray…
To be only yours I pray… To be only yours…
Now I know that…
You're my only hope…*
ANOTHER FLASHBACK:
Only 3 days more… 3 days, and I'm finally dead…
I'm going to leave this world in 3 days… HOW I wish to live longer…
Suddenly, a guy with amber eyes and chest nut hair appeared in my mind…
"Syaoran…" I whispered his name…
"Sakura…" a voice said….
I slowly turned to see the owner of the nice voice… whispering my name like how I did…
It was… SYAORAN!
I stood up abruptly, and blushed "W-what are you doing here?" I retorted…
YES! WHAT WAS HE DOING HERE? HE BROKE INTO MY HOUSE?
"Can't I stop by to see you?" he asked innocently…
I just sighed and went upstairs….
But he was following me behind… "STALKER!" I said as I ran to my bedroom…
"Hey! I'm NOT!" he said as he followed behind me…
I just laughed and caught my breath… "Hmm… PINK?" he said as his eyes wandered around my room
"Well, FYI, I'm still a girl alright?" I said he laughed in return "yeah, I know that, But the color suits you" he said…
He sat down on my bed… then he ran to my study table "You read manga?" he said "Yeah?" I said
Then I saw him, touching my stuff, my stuff toys… and MY CLOTHES?
"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CLOSET?" I shouted… "What? I'm still wondering if you really are a girl…" he said… I quickly shoved him out of my closet and closed it… I glared at him "Pervert.." I said under my breath… "I'm NOT!" he blushed… then he marched across the room, I decided to get something to watch "hey, wanna watch a movie with me?" I asked…
"hey… what's this?" he said, I turned around… to see…
HE WAS TOUCHING THE PIANO….
AHHH! NOO! "You play the Piano?" he asked… I panicked "Umm… N-no! That was from my Grandmother…"
GRANDMOTHER MY ASS! I BEGGED A PIANO FOR MY BIRTHDAY…
"I don't believe that! Play a song will you?" he asked "No" I hissed "Aw Come on!" he pouted, I giggled.. he's really cute when he does that "I suck! You might not want to hear me playing…" I said "AW! It WOULDN'T HURT TO PLAY WILL IT?" he said… I sighed "FINE! But just one song?" I said…. He nodded
Okay… I sat on the Piano chair… I thought of what to play…
"Ahh…" I said as I started to press a few keys…
I was going to play the song I composed for HIM…
(AFTER PLAYING)
"That… was beautiful.." he said… "really?" "YEAH! I didn't know you were so GOOD! You gotta teach me!" He said… I frowned…" I'm afraid not…" I said "Why?" he asked…
I sighed "I already told you… You won't see me anymore…" I said…
His face fell and darkened… "Syaoran? Is something wrong?" I asked…
He walked towards me, he looked at me with a serious expression, "Will Finally tell me why your suddenly going to disappear? It's not like we're never going to meet again… You're scaring me you know?" he said
I smiled sadly…"Sorry, if I'm scaring you… but I'm afraid… this will be our last few days together…" I smiled again…
His face hardened…." Don't… say that…" he said "but it's true… right? I only have 3 days more… Then, I'll have to say goodbye…" I smile sadly…
Deep inside… I didn't want to leave… I still wanted to spend more time with him… It wasn't enough… 7 days wasn't enough…
It hurt me when I said it…
He suddenly grabbed my shoulders and held it tightly… "S-syaoran! Y-you're hurting me…" I whimpered..
"What's going on? Can you please tell me why your leaving? I don't want you to…" he said
"I'm afraid I have to… whether you like it or not… I have to leave…" I said…
"Why?" he looked at me… I shook my head, his eyes…
It showed loneliness, it showed fear, it showed sadness and hurt…
In this state…. I still couldn't tell him…
"I… Can't tell you…" I said, he groaned loudly "WHY? What is so bad about it?" he snapped
I shook my head… "Syaoran… Please.. try to understand… I really needed to go…" I said
"How can I understand when you won't tell me why your leaving?" he's right…
I'm such a coward; I'm such an idiot…
I couldn't possibly tell him that…
I'm going to die in 3 days….
"Syaoran, I thank you, for spending time with me, for making me smile more than once, I enjoyed the moments that we had each other… I'm afraid to say that, It's all gonna end… We have to say goodbye…I'll be leaving in 3 days, and you won't probably see me anymore… Possibly never.." I whispered the past part…
His eyes widened… "What do you mean?"
"Goodbye Syaoran, You have to leave now.." I said trying to hold my tears that were threatening to fall…
"No! Sakura!" he said, I tried to push him out of the house, but he just kept struggling…
"Sakura! Wait! I want to be with you!" he said "But that won't be possible…" I said "No! Sakura! I want to be with you! Give me a chance! I'll travel around the world with you if I have to! Just please don't leave me!" he said as he begged … I tried harder to fight back the tears, but It would just fall…
"Syaoran… please… you have to go… before this is going to be worse…" I said
"Sakura! Do you really want me to leave? Is that what you want? Then… What about the past day past days we had for each other?" he said… he just kept pleading…and pleading…
More tears fell.. and hit the floor... "I…Thank you for that…I really do… I will never forget you.. but… you have to forget me.." I said
He gaped at me "Why could I possibly forget you?" he groaned in frustration…
"Syaoran… Why are you acting like this?" I asked…
"can't you see it? I'm clearly, madly, sickly, IN LOVE WITH YOU SAKURA!" he said…
I froze… upon hearing his sudden confession… This can't be… I never thought…. Could it be?
"y-you what?" I asked
Suddenly, he grabbed me with all his strength and crashed his lips to mine.
He kissed me passionately, and his lips were so damn warm and soft, hesitantly, I kissed him back, I felt my knees weakening… Luckily, I had control…
He cupped my cheek to deepen the kiss, I put my arms around his neck to deepen more… we opened our mouth and we explored each other's mouths… I moaned throatily…
He led me to a table and lifted me up to sit… he pulled me and wrapped my legs around his waist firmly and tightly, I felt myself blush furiously…
"Sakura…" he whispered in my ear…
"S-syaoran… Please…" I managed to say, and moaned, for he kissed my neck like a wild animal, he was licking every part of my neck, and he nibbled my ear…
"sakura… Stay…" It was more like a command…
"I.. can't… ohh…" I moaned…
"I said stay…" he said more demandly…
"Syaoran, I told you… I-" he slammed his fist on the table, and that shocked me…
He carried and led me upstairs again… Oh no.. what was he gonna do….
"Sy-Syaoran! What are you doing?" I squeaked.
"I'm convincing you to stay.." he said under his breath… "How so?" …
WHY! OH WHY DID I HAVE TO ASK THAT?
Here comes his answer "I'll make you mine…" he said…
My eyes widened "Syaoran! Don't do this!" I said as I struggled…
We stopped in front of the stairs… finally, I was on the floor again…
He ran his hands through his hair frustrated… "You… don't feel the same way do you…?" he growled…
I shook my head… "Syaoran… I-" "Stop my saying my name and get straight to the point! DAMNIT! Your making me lose control…" He said, I shook my head again…
"Syaoran… I have to admit… I've fallen for you too…" I whispered, avoiding his gaze… I felt his gaze on me, and he leaned closer… "Then why… why can't I make you mine then?" He asked huskily…
I blushed "because… I don't want you to get hurt…" I said…
"But I was really willing to fulfill your third wish!" he said "it's alright! You don't need to… Indeed, I have experienced… and I already knew how it feels like to fall in love… and t was because of you…" I said…
Our eyes met again… The tension in the air was getting thicker… the strong urge that we were both feeling… we were fighting it… fighting as hard as we can…
I finally stood up " Syaoran, please leave now, before it's going to hurt…" I said as I tried to hold the tears once again…
"No, Sakura… I Can't…" he said
With all my strength, I pushed him out to the door… If only my Onni-chan was here… he would already killed him….
"Sakura! PLEASE!" Syaoran begged
"No Syaoran!" I said loudly, I finally slammed the door on his face….
He knocked a few times… "Sakura! Please open the door… please…." His voice was getting weary….
I remained silent, only to listen more of his cries….
"Sakura! Open the door please! We have to talk!" he cried out hopelessly…
It pained me to hear his cries more and more… until his throat hurt…
I leaned on the door, and cried so hard…. On my palms…
I couldn't believe it…. One day, I was annoyed by him…
And then the next, I want him always beside me…
One day, I hated him, and then the next… I fell in love….
I fell for him so fast, and I didn't expect it to happen…
"Why must it happen now? Why not the past years? I've been with him for so long, that it only happened now… " I whispered…
I heard a long silence… I realized…
It wrenched my heart… he… he finally left….
"This was it…" I sniffed…
"Goodbye… I… I love you, Syaoran…" I sobbed harder and buried my face on my hands…
I finally said the words, that I could not be able to say it to him…
So this is what people has been talking about…
Love, Hurts in so many ways…
*I give you my destiny…
I'm giving you all of me…
I want your symphony…
Singing in all that I'am..
At the top of my lungs…
I'm giving it back…*
I almost cried at the memory… leaving Syaoran, was the worst, yet the best thing I've ever done…
"Syaoran… You're the best thing I never had…" I whispered…
"I love you…" I murmured… the love words that were left unspoken… even until now…
*So I lay my head back down…
And I lift, my hands and pray…
To be only yours I pray….
To be only yours…*
FLASHBACK:
Every hour, I was getting weaker, and weaker… I felt so alienated… I was too weak, to stand up… I did not even bother to eat or drink… I looked so pale and weary… I was having a cold sweat…
I couldn't breathe that much, it's like; my throat was slowly, closing the gap…
I needed someone right now…
And that someone already left me 2 days ago…
I'm going to die tomorrow… with words unspoken…
And with memories…
"Syaoran…" I whispered his name, like a prayer…
I coughed on a white cloth, and found blood flowing…
It's fine… My body was shutting down…
I could finally rest in peace…
But I wish I could stay… a little longer…
To see his face, to him smiling once more, to see him laugh, to see him cry…
Or even one last touch of his lips…
And those amber eyes that caught any time…
Sadly… I can't… I've already made my decision…
So I left a note beside me… knowing that I can't hold any longer…
Here, I wrote everything I needed to tell him…
But not my feeling yet… soon I'm going to tell him…
And I will….
Finally, I shut my eyes… and took my last breathe….
Thank you for everything… Syaoran…
You gave me hope… you made me live again…
Thank you…
*now I know now…
You're my only hope…*
"Sakura?" Syaoran bursts through the door… and found lying lifelessly on the floor…
"Sakura!" he said as he ran towards her and held her… he looked at her paled face… her breaths were so small that it almost can't be heard…
"Oh no… Sakura… What have I done?" he said to himself… he saw the white cloth and the letter beside her…
His eyes widened when the white cloth was stained with blood…
And he slowly, opened the letter…
Dear Syaoran,
I'm truly, deeply sorry for hurting you… I could have told you the reason why I left you… I hurt you too much and I just want to comfort you… But I can't, I didn't have much time left…
You see, the doctors discovered an unknown illness… and sadly, I was infected…
They said, there was no cure… I was devastated when I found out…
And it was the day before we officially became friends, when we sat under a Sakura tree at the backyard of the school…
You fulfilled my wishes for me… and I couldn't do anything to repay you…
I could've given you my love in return, but I can't…
I have fallen for you, but I haven't married, but that's alright, I'm glad that I've fallen for you… and I could've fallen harder you know?
I was lonely all my life… That it was killing me…
And that's, what I thought… was my illness…. It was my loneliness…
But you helped me… You made me feel alive again…
I finally realized… You were my only hope…
I've learned a lot from you… and I thank you for that…
Sincerely,
Sakura Kinomoto…
His bulged out… tears formed in his eyes… "No…" he looked at Sakura's body…
"I should have known…"… he quickly picked her body up and rushed to the hospital…
Finally, tears came out of my eyes, as I tried replaying back the scene… I held his hands… missing his warmth, his touch… until I saw something,….
The letter was still there… with a little blood stained…
My eyes widened and I gasped… he stirred, and he began moving… but then fell asleep again…
The letter was still in his hands… he must have kept it with him…
I smiled with tears falling out… he really did love me, did he?
TO BE CONTINUED~