A/N:
Hey everyone!
You know that "law" that says "anything that can go wrong, will go wrong"? Yeah, so…my internet connection got knocked out. Out cold for like, three days. Many, many apologies for the day-late-ness; I meant to get this out to everyone by Christmas, along with my well wishes. But…better late than never?
Well, although I did not actually say what present each character received (except "the perfect gift"), I did actually write this fic with ideas in mind of what they'd be. Mostly, the ideas stemmed from a game of White Elephant I was in…and man was it a twisted game. In every sense of the word. Haha, I'd like to hear what you thought the characters received! Hope you enjoy the fic; drop me a review, ne?
With best of wishes this holiday season and hopes you all have a wonderful new year!
~L
The Perfect Gift
"Don't forget to buy the rest of the gifts and deliver them, alright? I'm counting on you!"
"I know."
"And remember to wrap them! Nicely."
"Got it."
"I would have bought everything for you beforehand but there just wasn't enough time, I mean, that irresponsible jerk called me out last minute! During the holidays!"
"Understood."
"Don't you dare forget!"
"I won't."
"Shikamaru..." she warned darkly.
"Just go already, troublesome woman!"
And she did.
…:…
He wrote a list. Checked it twice…and swore.
Damn, they had too many friends…
…:…
"Are you drunk?"
"Why?"
The dubious stare he received made him roll his eyes.
"Kagome suggested it."
"Was she drunk?"
"She called from her office."
"Doesn't mean she couldn't be drunk."
Ino flinched at the glare he threw at her.
"You poor thing," she cried dramatically, "spending Christmas without your girlfriend! But you are still coming to the party tonight aren't you?! What am I saying, of course you are!"
He quirked a brow at her mischievous grin.
"After all, I haven't given her gift to her yet and there's still time to attach that picture of you back when—"
Her indignant gasp could still be heard even after he'd slammed her door shut upon shoving her back into her apartment.
…:…
"Sure you don't want to come in? Get some tea? Cakes? I can make you waffles, or an omelet…hm, maybe I'll have an omelet, yeah…"
"Nah, I'm fine," Shikamaru shrugged, smiling slightly at his best friend, "Still got a lot of ground to cover."
As if to emphasize his point, he hoisted the giant yellow backpack Kagome normally traveled with into sight.
"Ah, she's still out of town, huh?"
"Yeah…hey, make sure you try those while they're fresh, she made them herself before she left."
"Right; see you tonight, 'kay man? Five sharp!"
…:…
He was greeted at the door by a pajama-clad blond.
"Why are you even up?!" Naruto grumbled sleepily, "It's six in the morning!"
"Playing Santa," the chuunin muttered while thrusting a bright orange package into his friend's limp hands, "That and Kagome's tyrant boss called her away to work."
"So?"
"So she neglected the time difference. Again."
Naruto rubbed his chin thoughtfully, no doubt trying to shake the other half of his brain awake before he answered.
"Wait, you mean she's not back yet?! But it's Christmas!"
"I know," Shikamaru drawled.
If he noticed the tinge of disappointment that colored his words, he made no comment.
Naruto eyed the box quizzically. It was kind of big, he supposed. And it was in his favorite color. He tore into it with fervor and the moment the gift wrap was completely shredded from his present, he was positively glowing. His mouth watered and he glanced up but the other shinobi was long gone.
…:…
"Thank you so much, Shikamaru-san, and thank Kagome-san for me too when you get the chance."
The chuunin nodded, scratching the back of his head.
"Uh, hey Hinata…"
"Yes?"
"You wouldn't happen to know what she'd like for Christmas, would you?"
She smiles softly, milky eyes glittering at his seemingly nonchalant posture.
"Actually…I do."
…:…
"You sure you two are an item? You sound completely lost when it comes to what she wants."
Well, if Hinata would've just told him…
He watched the kunoichi shake her present, concentrating on deciphering its contents from sound alone.
"It doesn't take a genius to figure it out…well, maybe it does, in your case."
Sakura could really be a pain when she felt like it.
"I'll give you a clue though."
Or not.
…:…
"All I want for Christmas—is you!"
Shikamaru cringed as Lee danced wildly with his gift (and butchered a song at the top of his lungs).
"I would hope not," the shadow-user grimaced under his breath, sneaking quickly out of sight before his ears had to suffer additional abuse.
That pink-haired she-devil had planned this, he just knew it. Tch, just wait until she opened the parcel Kagome had prepared…
…:…
Akamaru bounded off eagerly, followed closely by an equally enthusiastic Kiba. Shikamaru sighed and turned to Shino, who had conveniently stopped by to discuss something with his teammate.
"Here, happy holidays."
"…"
He accepted the box, raising a brow at the silver paper that adorned it. It was shiny…and printed with a multitude of glimmering butterflies.
"Kagome picked," he said lamely, in an attempt to dispel the awkward silence.
"…thank you. And her."
Shikamaru gave a curt nod and was about to leave when a wad of red gift wrap hit him square in the back of the head. Laughter-like barking could be heard before Kiba, riding atop his massive nin-dog, drew to a stop at his side.
"You hear from her today? It is Christmas, you know."
As if he could ever forget.
"…you did give her a gift, didn't you?" the Inuzuka asked incredulously.
"…any ideas?"
…:…
"…is this your idea of a joke?"
"Apparently, it is to her."
Neither of the present men need question who "her" referred to.
"At least there are different colors…"
"Oh yes, that makes it all better," Neji commented dryly.
"I think they're nice," Tenten suddenly spoke up, peering over the Hyuuga prodigy's shoulder, "very practical."
She sent Shikamaru a wink before chuckling, "And think how pretty they'll make you, ha!"
Grunting something incomprehensible, Neji shrugged away from the kunoichi while Shikamaru fished for her gift.
"By the way, dress nicely tonight."
"…what?"
Tenten crossed her arms and tapped her chin with a slender finger, circling the chuunin slowly.
"You have anything in a pale green? Dress shirt, of course, and a dark blue tie?"
"Wait—"
"Never mind, don't worry, we've got you covered. Now hurry up or you won't finish in time for the party!"
…:…
"A little early, isn't she?"
Shikamaru smirked, "Never too early, Kurenai-sensei."
The woman only smiled hesitantly in response.
…:…
"Were these…hers?"
Shikamaru could feel blood rushing to his face as he scowled, thoroughly embarrassed and upset as he watched Kakashi stare at his gift.
"I have no idea."
And that only made him feel worse as he stormed off.
…:…
Apparently, Gai liked listening to Lee's "youthful" voice…especially in the midst of hitting a high c.
"All I want for Christmas is y-ooo-u, BA—A—A—A—BY!"
Shikamaru wisely decided to shove the neon green package into the mail slot and dart for the hills.
…:…
After finally presenting Iruka, Shizune, and Tsunade their Christmas gifts, Shikamaru left the Hokage building with a lighter bag and a heavier heart.
The Godaime made certain the chuunin was out of sight and hearing range before she nodded to her assistant and the academy instructor.
"You know what to do."
Her subordinates exchanged wary looks before flickering out of the office.
Tsunade smirked and rested her chin in a hand, mentally recalculating the success of the operation.
…:…
"I'm sure you're all aware of the situation at hand."
The gathered shinobi glanced at one another and low hums of agreement arose from the small crowd. Tsunade ran her amber eyes over the face of every member present. Ten young and healthy ninja at her beck and call…
She stood up abruptly, startling Shizune and Iruka who stood beside her.
"Listen up! This is a super-super-super-S-class mission. Failure is not an option! You know your target; now get out!"
Ten blurs obscured her vision for a second but vanished the moment she blinked.
"Are…are you sure this is a good idea, Tsunade-sama?" Shizune bit a nail uncertainly, "It is Christmas… Don't you think this is a little…drastic?"
The older woman waved it off airily, "Nah, they'll thank me."
"Eager are we, Hokage-sama?"
The trio that stood behind Tsunade's large desk glanced up in surprise, catching sight of the masked man perched on the windowsill, idly flipping through a familiar book.
"As if," she huffed, "just thought I'd return the favor; after all," a grin was flashed at Shizune, "it is Christmas."
"Don't deny it, Hokage-sama," a new voice chuckled, "you've been waiting to do this for a long time."
"Only because stupidity seems to be contagious," the blonde snapped, suddenly irritable, "It's affecting the students."
Kurenai merely snickered some more, looking offhandedly past Kakashi and out the window.
"And to think we got Gai to be even less subtle than usual for the occasion."
"…as if he was ever subtle to begin with."
…:…
"Smart move," Ino whispered, a sinister gleam in her eyes when she opened the door to greet the guest on her doorstep.
Shikamaru leveled a stare on her, taking note of the way she looked him up and down.
"What…are you doing?"
Instead of answering, she screamed for Sakura and Tenten.
Next thing he knew, a sharp pain shot through him from the back of his head and he fell into an impenetrable darkness.
…:…
Kagome cursed vehemently at the dial for the heater as she shivered under the blanket she'd wrapped around herself. Figures the one time she tries to turn it on ever since she'd bought the flat, it proves to be defective.
She hated spending Christmas alone.
Her family had gone to Kyoto to spend the holidays with her aunt, having not expected her home in the city. Her trio of friends were with their respective boyfriends. And everyone else (and Shikamaru)…was in Konoha.
Again she mentally swore at her boss for calling her to the office at this time of year. By the time she'd been let out, it was too late to try catching the train back to the remote village.
With a pout, the young woman flipped her long black hair over a shoulder before setting about making hot tea. No sense in sulking, she thought, it wasn't like she could do anything about it at this point in time.
…:…
Step 1: Detainment. Check.
Ino blinked at Neji, who was calmly stretching.
"Don't you think you overdid it?" she asked sarcastically, shooting her unconscious teammate a sympathetic gaze.
"It was your idea," he retorted.
…:…
Step 2: Dress Code. In-progress.
"Alright boys! Did you get everything?!"
They glanced down at the articles of clothing they held.
"Rather not undress him though," Naruto mumbled to Kiba, who looked like he wasn't sure whether to smirk at his friend or wince at the oncoming task.
…:…
A sigh of content pushed through her lips as she slipped into a hot bath. This was nice…
Kagome leaned her head back, resting it on the edge of her tub contemplatively. She'll be able to head home first thing in the morning, she decided, and personally wish her friends Christmas greetings. It'll be a day late, but it was the thought that counted…
…:…
Step 3: Transportation. Check.
Ino counted to make sure everyone was present, barely sparing a glance at the body bag hefted by Chouji and Shino.
"Hinata?"
"Still out," the soft-spoken girl affirmed, deactivating her Byakugan.
"Good. Places everyone!"
…:…
A knock echoed through the empty home.
Kagome blinked. Who could that be?
She hastily dried herself and slipped on her nightgown before clumsily tying on a large, fluffy bathrobe.
…:…
Step 4: Diversion. Check.
Tenten quickly ducked behind a bush, breathing heavily. She heard the door swing open and peeked through the branches obscuring her view in anticipation.
…:…
Flowers…?
Kagome looked left and right, finding no signs of anyone that may have left the bouquet on her doorstep.
Picking it up hesitantly, again she checked for signs of someone else's presence but found none. Her attention was soon captured, however, by the small card attached to the large spray of blooms.
Missing you.
A delighted giggle escaped her.
…:…
Step 4.5: Stall Tactics. In-progress.
"Lee! You're up!" Ino whispered, frantically waving him in the direction of Kagome's closing door.
…:…
No sooner had she closed the door when another knock was issued. Puzzled, Kagome whipped it open only to be faced, once again, with an empty doorstep.
With a roll of her eyes, she made to reenter her (less than) warm home when she caught sight of a box inches from her feet.
Chocolates…?
Laughing softly, Kagome wondered whether Shikamaru thought he'd save time and effort by sending her gifts worthy of Valentine's Day this time of year.
…:…
Step 5: Delivery. In-progress.
"What's taking you so long?!"
Chouji swore his head brushed the ceiling when he jumped at the blonde's hiss.
"The zipper's stuck!" he wailed, tugging futilely.
…:…
Step 4.5: Stall Tactics. In-progress.
"Looks like we've no choice," Ino groaned, "Move it, forehead-girl."
"Who are you calling 'forehead-girl', Ino-pig?!"
"Shut up and get your ass down there!"
Sakura glared mutinously at the other kunoichi before making a few clones and altering all their appearances, including her own.
…:…
Once more a knock interrupted Kagome from retreating to the comfort of her home; this time, however, she was greeted at the door by a small group of children with varying ages.
"A carol for the holidays, miss?"
The young woman smiled in amusement as the kids began singing out of synch and bordering tone-deaf.
…:…
Step 6: Reconnaissance. Check.
Kiba and Shino materialized with Chouji in tow.
"All clear."
Ino nodded her approval and did a quick mental headcount.
"Well then, shall we sit back and enjoy the show?"
…:…
Kagome closed the door, lingering perhaps a few seconds longer than need be as if wary that there would be someone else knocking. Satisfied when there wasn't, she walked back into the flat. About to make a beeline for her bedroom, she suddenly veered right into her kitchen.
Hot chocolate, down blankets, and a movie! The thought had her humming pleasantly.
She stilled however when, as she searched for a mug, the muffled sound of struggling reached her ears.
Reaching for the baseball bat she'd stolen from her brother and kept by the back door that led into the kitchen (for suspicious cases such as this, of course), she crept into the hallway and cautiously peered into the living room where the sound seemed to be coming from.
There, sitting (not so) innocently in the center of the room, was a large green box (that Kagome was more than positive wasn't there before) that looked like it could house a bear. Well, it was certainly big enough. And it was moving.
It couldn't really be a bear…could it?!
Muted growls could be heard from within and Kagome raised her (brother's) bat a little higher over her head whilst she took a tentative step closer.
…:…
Damn that troublesome woman, he should have known something was up…
The chuunin squirmed against his bindings, disregarding the burning sensation produced by rubbing his wrists against his ties. A gag kept him from swearing until someone untied him and the dark didn't make it any better.
The lack of light did, if anything, strengthen his hearing.
Guarded footsteps were making their way up to him, making him cease his wriggling. Soundlessly, he repositioned his legs beneath him, prepared to spring to his feet the first chance he got.
…:…
When the contents of the box suddenly silenced, Kagome carefully untied the thick red satin ribbon from the lid and used the bat to lift it the tiniest bit.
…:…
Shikamaru pounced, murder in his eyes.
…:…
Kagome shrieked.
And swung.
…:…
"That was cold," Shikamaru griped as soon as Kagome dropped her weapon and rushed to pull out the balled up handkerchief that had been haphazardly crammed in his mouth.
…:…
"You're…wearing furry handcuffs," Kagome blushed.
Shikamaru craned his neck to glance behind him.
"How troublesome…"
…:…
Two hammers, a saw, half a bottle of lotion, and much arguing later, a humiliated chuunin sat cross-legged on his girlfriend's soft carpeting, massaging his wrists and nursing a rather bruised ego.
Oh, the next time he saw his friends…
His gaze snapped up from his musings as a steaming cup was pushed into his hands and a blue-gray eyed young woman joined him on the floor.
Kagome scooted about until she was seated next to Shikamaru before tossing her blanket around both their shoulders.
"Merry Christmas," she chirped, clinking her mug of cocoa against his and planting a soft kiss on his cheek.
Large doe-like eyes twinkled when he turned away.
"How'd you know what I wanted for Christmas?"
He tilted his head towards her, leaning it atop her own.
She snuggled closer, basking in his warmth.
…:…
Super-super-super-S-class mission "The Perfect Gift": Success.
Ten shinobi from the Village Hidden in the Leaves were cluttered precariously on the roof of Kagome's flat, exchanging high-fives, annoyed growls, threatening glares, and goofy grins.
…:…
…:…O-M-A-K-E…:…
Meanwhile in Sunagakure…
"Special rushed delivery from a Miss Higurashi Kagome and Mister Nara Shikamaru."
Temari blinked, trying to process the words. Oh, right, it was Christmas…
She signed for the packages and while the mailman sprinted away, tugged one of her pigtails in frustration.
She was still getting used to the idea that the two were actually a couple.
I mean, seriously?!
"Who was it?"
The blonde waved one of the boxes, beckoning both her brothers to the living room.
"Stuff from Kagome and her crybaby."
Distributing the gifts was easy enough, the neat writing on the labels clearly legible. Sprawled either on the couch or the floor, the sand siblings tore into their presents as one…
"Holy sh—"
"What the f—"
"…?!"
Did those two want to die?!
…:…
…:…O-M-A-K-E…:…2…:…
Later that night…
"I'm not eating all those," Shikamaru stated flatly.
"Who said they were for you?" Kagome lightly chastised.
She straightened, depositing the tray on her counter.
"You made ten dozen cookies."
Kagome beamed,"Oh! A man that can count! How lucky am I?!"
He rolled his eyes.
"Make yourself useful and grab a ladder," she said absentmindedly while she bustled about with a whisk in one hand and a bag of marshmallows in another, "They're probably freezing up there."
Needless to say, the ninja on the roof were (reluctantly) invited inside by Shikamaru and welcomed with warm cookies and hot chocolate by Kagome.