One of the main factions of the human conscious and subconscious is fear. Everyone, deep down, is absolutely and mortally terrified of something. Fears get locked away, along with the memories that create them, leaving us to think large chunks of our thoughts are ones we cannot access. Perhaps it's that we simply will not allow ourselves to.
Elizaveta was terrified of many things, and one thing she was NOT terrified of was admitting it. She WAS terrified of admitting WHAT she was terrified of. She had spent years building up the absolute strongest façade she could; unbreakable walls that no one could seem to climb. Yet it seemed this act could only last until her head hit the pillow, and then the dark nasties seemed to crawl from underneath her skin and torment whatever aspect of her mind they could.
Elizaveta was weak. She was weak to many things, but this reoccurring dream was indeed her largest weakness. She stood shin deep in a dark, deep and angry ocean. Each curling wave screamed as it smacked back into the ocean and the water felt more like hands desperately grabbing at her. When she looked into the waves, she could see everything she feared. Every waking nightmare or locked away memory turned in with each wave…
…Yet when she would move or struggle, she would sink deeper into the abyss below her feet. She was forced to just stand and watch the waves. That is until it would appear. The black shadow would crawl across the waters towards her, seeming to hiss and snare as it came closer and closer.
The first time, she had run and her dream had ended with drowning. As most do, this result was frequent. When she didn't try to run, the water seemed to suck her down until she fussed and fit herself into drowning again. It seemed hopeless with no escape. Her fears would govern her.
But one night, she went to bed feeling brave. As she stood once again on that same sea, feeling the panic rise within her as that same shadow moved menacingly towards her, she realised something. She had always tried running away. As she took the quick steps towards the shadow, she could feel herself sinking into the ocean, just as quickly, though this time with the shadow moving closer and quicker than it ever had. She kept trying to move forward as the water passed her hips, then waist and eventually shoulders, trying to kick and scream and fuss through the water that curled around her and tried to hold her down
As her head fell under she still fought for the surface. She had made up her mind that this was not who she was, who she wanted to be! There were great things beyond this fear, and she was going to have them, no matter the cost. She tried one, last, knowingly futile scream, her fingers just grazing through the rough surface of the water
But instead of waking up in a cold sweat, she felt a hand grasp her wrist, the grip of the water settle and the colour clear and warm around her. As she was slowly pulled closer to the surface, she knew that she had the strength to overcome her greatest fear. As a pair of thin, wire framed glasses fell into the water and sunk into the deep next to her, she knew that she was finally ready, finally not afraid
She would make her greatest fear her precious treasure. The person she had been waiting for, the one who would finally break the walls she surrounded herself in…She would find him, and let him love her.
A/N I was trying something new. I'm pleased with the result :) I wanted to try and keep it dark all the way through, but of course, my inner Fluff!Monster took over...