Disclaimer: I do not own The Office

It's almost lunchtime at Dunder-Mifflin and the day has been surprisingly uneventful. Everyone seems to be working at their desks while Michael is in his office practicing his new Dane Cook routine he's going to introduce during the next conference room meeting. As Michael steps out of his office, his car alarm voice perfected, an unknown girl comes into the office and heads directly for Pam's desk. The tall brunette is wearing a black tank top, black and navy blue plaid skirt, and army boots. Before the stranger can gain Pam's attention, Michael lets out his own version of a wolf whistle, and the entire office ignores the behavior. The girl looks offended and starts to say something, but Michael interrupts her.

"Hellooooooo you're hoooooooot. Can I help youuuuuu?" Michael smiles, proud of his "comedic genius" moment.

The girl looks shocked and is at a loss for words. The entire office is now looking at the girl. A look of horror has overcome Jim's features. Michael begins to say something else, but Jim quickly interrupts him.

"Jess, over here."

Jess looks over at Jim with a wide smile, than proceeds to sit on Jim's desk and gives Michael a stop-looking-at-me-you-freak look.

"Michael, this is my underage sister, Jess."

Jess whispers to Jim, "I'm 21."

"Trust me, for today you want to be 17."

Jess shrugs and agree with Jim. The entire office is staring at Jess. Jess doesn't seem bothered by the attention.

"Jim did tell you that I have to spend half a day here, right?" Jess is eyeing Michael with uncertainty.

"Umm, yeah. Totally. Jim tells me everything important, like his sister coming in for half a day cuz, you know, we're like BFF." Michael crosses his fingers to make the BFF sign.

"Whatever. So it's cool?"

"Fo shizzle."

Jess gives Michael a WTF look.

Michael seems uncomfortable for a second, than looks like he gets a bright idea. "Jess, do you like Dane Cook."

"No."

"Oh." Michael walks back into his office, looking dejected.

"You forgot to ask, didn't you?" Jess gives Jim an amused smile.

"Yeah. Why don't you go into the break room and wait for me while I go talk to Michael."

"OK. Where's the break room?"

Jim points towards the break room, and Jess hops off his desk and follows his finger. Jess walks past Ryan, who is blatantly staring at her as she walks. Kelly is behind him, glaring at Jess. Jess stops and looks at Ryan with a playful smile on her face.

"I'll only bit if you ask me to."

Ryan looks floored for a second before turning back to his desk to work, his face now scarlet red. Kelly's death glare would do Angela proud. Jess doesn't seem to notice Kelly.

"Hey Toby."

"Hey Jess."

Jess enters the break room. Ryan looks at Toby with shock and awe. Toby just smiles in response and gets back to work. Ryan turns to Kelly, whose eyes have turned red. Kelly starts rambling on about Jess' fashion faux pas. Ryan sighs and pretends to listen and agree with Kelly.

Creed enters the break room where Jess is drinking a grape soda. Creed seems to not notice her at first and proceeds into the ladies restroom. Jess looks after Creed with a shocked and confused face. She goes back to drinking her soda. Creed comes out of the restroom and finally notices Jess. Creed gets an uncomfortable look on his face, sighs, and sits across the table from Jess.

"Look, I'm sure you're mother is a wonderful person and we shared a beautiful night together, and if she had told me about you I would've definitely wanted to be an important part of your life."

Jess gives Creed a strange/semi-freaked out look. "What are you talking about?"

Creed gives Jess a strange look. "You look exactly like me. I can tell."

"Tell what?"

"That you're mine."

Jess talks slowly, as if talking to a crazy person. "I'm you're…"

"You're my daughter, aren't you?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Is Jim your son?"

Creed gets a thoughtful look on his face. "I don't think so, but you never know. I barely remember the sixties."

Jess gives Creed another WTF-are-you-thinking look. "I'm not your daughter."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Creed gave a sigh of relief. "Thank weed you're not. No offense, it's just that I don't think I want to support another kid in my life right now."

Creed leaves as Jim enters the break room.

"What's up with that old guy?

"Creed?"

" Yeah, he's weird. He just asked me if I was his daughter."

"Yeah, I probably should've warned you about him."

"Probably."

Jess is sitting on Jim's desk, swinging her legs off the side. She and Jim are talking in whispers, and periodically glancing at Dwight.

Dwight finally looks up from his computer. "Could you please not do that?"

Jim and Jess both look at Dwight with the same innocent expression. "Do what? Talk?"

"Yes, Jim, could you please not talk. No. Could you please tell your sister to stop sitting on the edge of her desk like that. It's dangerous."

"I'm touched for your concern of my safety." Jess says, not moving from her spot.

"As a volunteer sheriff, it's my duty to protect innocent people from any potential harm they could encounter."

"What harm would that be Dwight?" Jim has a small smile on his face while waiting for Dwight's response.

Dwight scoffs. "Fact, Jess could fall off the desk, break her neck and die."

"She's two feet from the ground."

"That's all it takes."

Jim and Jess both roll their eyes.

"I'll take my chances. "

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that you remove yourself from Jim's desk."

Jess looks over at Jim and gives him an is-he-for-real look. Jim gives her a sad nod and pretends to go back to work.

"If you want to see my panties, all you have to do is ask. You don't have to try to kill me by pushing me off Jim's desk."

Dwight looks at Jess in complete shock, and Jim doesn't seem to know what to think. Jim quickly hands Jess a folder. "Jess, could you please give this to Oscar?"

Jess takes the folder and starts walking to Oscar's desk. Dwight is checking her out.

Jim looks at Dwight in horror, and knocks Dwight's bobble head off his desk. Dwight looks at Jim in horror, than gives Jim a death glare that would do Angela proud.

Jim looks at Dwight with an innocent face. "What?"

Jess walks over and hands something to Oscar. "Apparently I'm the office messenger for today. Jim asked me to give this to you. "

Oscar glances over the folders and sighs. He takes a deep breath and seems to look over at Jim's desk with an annoyed look on his face. Oscar closes his eyes and seems like he is preparing for war.

Jess gives him a strange look. "What are you doing?"

Oscar sighs. "I have to talk to Michael about his vacation expenses."

Kevin puts a comforting hand on Oscar's shoulder. "Sorry buddy."

Angela looks over at Oscar with what seems to be sympathy, but it disappears quickly. Oscar gets up and goes to Michael's office. Jess sits down in Oscar's chair and starts doodling on a sheet of paper. She looks up and sees Kevin staring at her with a weird smile on his face.

"What the hell are you looking at?"

The smile quickly disappears from Kevin's face. Kevin gets up from his desk and disappears into the bathroom.

Angela looks at Jess with disapproving eyes. "That was rude."

"No, that was creepy."

"Maybe if you didn't dress so whorish than that wouldn't have happened."

"Maybe if you dressed more whorish, than you would get laid and you wouldn't be so uptight."

Angela glances towards Dwight for a spit second, but Jess catches the glance. Angela doesn't notice that Jess caught the glance. Angela goes back to work on whatever she was working on and Jess goes back to doodling.

"Could you do that somewhere else, some of us have important work to do."

Jess pretends to think for a moment. "No."

"You know, you're a very rude girl."

"No, I'm a nice sister. I don't want to bother Jim while he's working."

"So you'll bother me?"

"If you insist."

"I don't"

"I don't care."

Angela glares at Jess and tries to get back to work. It is clear that Angela is very annoyed at Jess' presence and her doodling. After a few minutes, Angela can't seem to concentrate.

"Could you please stop acting so childish and leave. Some of us have work to do."

"You know what? You're a bitch."

"Well, you're a hussy."

"Well, you're screwing Dwight."

A look of complete shock overcomes Angela's face. Jess smiles and walks away. Dwight stands discretely next to Angela at the water cooler.

"She must be stopped."

"Uh huh." Angela looks over at Dwight, who is checking out Jess as Jess leans over and talks to Pam. Angela figures out that Dwight isn't listening to her, and hits him.

"Oww." Dwight looks at Angela, surprised.

"No cookie for a week." Angela walks away angrily, while Dwight looks sad and confused.