CHAPTER 1- EPOV

"I want you to accept what you are made of Edward", I kept hearing Tanya's voice. Yes I need to accept I am a vampire, I need blood. I thought of going for hunting, but the one person who I have come to think as my father's voice rang in my perfect brain, "choose your path Edward".

Ahhhhhhh!

I couldn't insult the life he created for us. The one path that kept us from not being a complete monster and that is the cause for the wedge between myself and Tanya. Tanya, my mate or would have become my mate. The fire in my throat is horrible. I need to make a decision on my diet soon. I will do anything for Tanya or I think I should do anything for her. That is how mating works. She is the only female vampire who at least tried to adopt our vegetarian vampire food system.

I, Edward Anthony Cullen is a 107 years old grumpy vampire looking like a 17 years old teenage boy for most of my existence. Sure attracted by my external beauty many female human and vampire tried to get me. I shy away from human girls for knowing what I am made of and vampire female shy away from me knowing the Cullen's vegetarian food system.

About three years ago I met Tanya Denali and her coven. She wanted to get to know me. The only single male in our family. When I explained to her how we lived on animal blood trying our best to be a complete monster. I was always proud of how perfect I am in that life. She was awed by that and she wanted to try our life and be with me. My parents Carlisle and Esme Cullen always wanted me to have someone to love and be loved. Emmet and jasper my brothers with their character and talent will accommodate anyone. Rosalie is always bitter so I didn't mind. Last, my favourite sister and friend Alice. She with her uncanny ability to assess the future didn't think Tanya could make it. But so many small things can change the future so she didn't open her mouth for my sake.

I was really happy that Tanya made that choice for me. Though I felt more like a best friend with her, I always keep on trying to be a perfect mate she deserved. The first month we were very good friends with each other. But Tanya didn't like me being close to my brothers or caring for my sisters. She wanted us to go somewhere and start our life alone. I didn't like to leave my family but as she pointed out I should be able to do anything for my mate.

So we went to many countries. We also met many vampires on our way. That is where it all started. Whenever a 'normal vampire' as she called non-vegies told our method is a waste of time and pleasure she will pester me to change our way. But I can't do that to my father and with my mind reading ability it is highly difficult for me to kill a human to subside my thirst. On our visit to Italy Aro completely broken the last ties she had for our system. That last few months were filled with fights between us and she convincing me to change for her. After all that is what mates do, I finally agreed to drink the blood of other monsters, human monsters who kill, rob and attack other good people. Even that is difficult for me.

So when we were thirsty we will go in search of some stupid human monster, if we couldn't locate one we will go for animals. But after a month or so Tanya started hunting on her own. She will go on for weeks and I used that time to visit my family. One day after I came back from my parent's home I found our house empty with a note from Tanya. "Honey I am going for hunting. Take care".

I wanted to discuss about our oncoming visit to Alaska. She really wanted to meet her sisters and a new join to her coven Garett. So I tracked her scent and followed the path. Her scent intensified so I must be close to her. I finally found her but what I saw stunned me.

Tanya was pinning a girl about 16 years to a tree. She has bent towards her throat. The girl looked so fragile, too soft almost like a glass doll. I couldn't place what she could have done that would justify death sentence from a vampire. She turned her head and a pair of deep chocolate brown eyes saw me. Her eyes held innocence to the core and depth that is more than ocean's. Behind all these there was something. Something like awe and yes! Acceptance. She looked quiet determined, I don't know what she thought she can do.

All these things happened in a second and I couldn't take it anymore. "Tanya! ". Her head turned towards me still pinning her to the tree. "Edward!" she looked shocked and her thoughts betrayed her. My eyes were pitch black by now and my visions blurred with my anger. That girl didn't do anything. She was walking out of a book store and stumbled over what seemed like thin air. There was a small cut on her hand and the scent. That scent of her blood! I have never felt anything like that. It burnt my throat. That instant I forgot all my sense except my thirst. I forgot right and wrong. All I wanted is her blood. Ahhhhhh!

In a moment I pushed Tanya and pinned the girl to a tree myself. Tanya's face held shock and then approval. The girl's scent was alluring to her too. But it was one in hundred folds to what it did to me. I turned and again I slipped into that deep chocolate well. I wanted to apologise for having to kill her when she has done nothing but crossed the road carelessly in an unfortunate moment. The girl looked at me with pleading eyes. But it looked more like questioning. Her trembling small body asked what wrong she did to me to deserve this fate. There was something in her expression that captivated me.

"Do it Edward!" Tanya's voice told me with a smile.

No. no. no. I can't do that. I can't drink human blood. I broke out my revere as the image of that pleading girl filled my mind. I was still in my room contemplating what should I do now. Tanya has given me one year time from that fate full day. Today is the last day. If I accept what I am made of and be a normal vampire as she puts it she will come back to me else she is going to search her fortune elsewhere.

"Stop it Edward!" Alice shouted from the hall way. She need not shout. I would have heard it even if she has whispered. She is angry. She bolted into my room in a perfect Alice fashion. Even I was immobile for a moment looking at her. I love Alice like a sister. She is the one who always help me and pull me out when I am depressed. "Please stop it Edward. You are making my head break." she spoke more softly. I dropped my head. I could see in her mind, I have been confused almost every day in the past year. From yesterday I am almost dishevelled. I am torturing her with my changing mind. Each decision forming a future of its own.

"I am sorry Alice. I didn't mean to put you through that." I told her my eyes locked on the window sill which had nothing to keep my interest. "I am just confused."

"It is clear you are confused" she told her voice hard. She gave a deep sigh and spoke softly. "I am sorry Edward. It is just too hard to keep up with your future. Your life seem to be in cross road. There are so many things going". Then I noticed she is hiding something from me. "Alice what are you hiding?" she is the only one who can stop me from reading her thoughts. "Check your mail Edward."

I opened my mail. The first one caught my eye. A mail from Tanya.