Trip For Two
Casey Heckmen
Just get it over with, my inner self keeps telling me. I am standing on a
window frame directly above the twelve-foot deep pool at the L'Etoile d'Or Hôtel
in Paris. I had come on this trip to relax, not to put my dauntlessness to the test. I
look down again. All I can see is the unmoving crystal water of the pool. Oh, mon
Dieu, I say to myself. I draw in what could quite possibly be my last breath. Then
the unexpected occurs. I jump.
My fears are all crashing around me, but I can only hear the sound of
my body cannoning into the water. I hold my breath; I wish for my muscles to
unclench so I can push upward and above the surface of the water. They don't. I
panic. I last remember sending a silent prayer to God before I black out for good.
Where am I? My inner self screams violently to me. I ignore myself, take
in my surroundings, and hear frantic voices. I see a tall, blurry silhouette in front
of me. My eyes start to adjust to the darkness around me. When I am completely
adjusted to the dark, I look at the silhouette again. It is that of a man. And he is
absolutely gorgeous. His hair is a dirty blond. It is still wet, indicating that he, too,
had been swimming recently. His eyes, a tantalizing cerulean blue, make me feel
serene. I continue to examine his features. His frame is muscular, but not overly
so. He is tall, probably around five-foot-ten; considerably taller than my five-foot-
five self. In the presence of this man, all apprehension eludes me.
The man reaches out his hand. My arms are still tired from neglect. I
whimper as I try to reach up to him. He hushes me and bends down to pick me
up. Once in his arms, I feel as though I am out of harm's way. My eyes flutter
closed and I listen contentedly to the cadence that his heart is making. He
carries me for a while, then asks me which floor my room is on. I don't trust my
voice so I depend on the use of my fingers to tell him. I slumber lightly as we
Rising from my place on the bed, I stretch my aching muscles and attempt
to stand on wobbly legs. I make it from the bed to the bathroom and back before
my stomach starts to feel hollow. I think back to the previous day. I had eaten
breakfast and then wandered off to the window. That cursed window seems to
be the source of all my problems. Not him, my inner voice mumbles. For once,
the voice is right. He is right; and I didn't even catch his name. My mind was
now racing with thoughts of his eyes. Will I see him again? Just as the question
crosses my mind, I hear a knocking. Expecting to see a maid, I walk cautiously
over to the door and peek out of the peephole. My heart is hammering in my
chest and my mind is going through a million scenarios before I even open the
door. I compose myself quickly, taking deep, even breaths. My hands fumble
with the lock on the door and finally, I see him face-to-face. Mmm, my inner voice
moans. QUIET DOWN, I yell back to myself.
"Hello," he says. His looks are unruffled and he is speaking with a
tenderness that I have never heard before. My insides melt at his softness. I try
to speak, but all that comes out of my mouth is a grunt-like sound. He chuckles
at my attempt and says, "It's fine. You've been through a lot lately. How about we
continue this meeting later. Meet me in the lobby at ten?" His tone surprises me.
He sounds as if he is longing to be in my company. I nod meekly and return to
my room. I sigh with outrage that I had just humiliated myself in front of him.
Deciding that it would be best to get a shower first, I drift toward the
bathroom and strip out of my clothes. I exhale sharply when the hot water hit my
slender frame, but soon adjust to the new warmth. After washing my hair and self
I turn off the water and step out of the shower. I wrap a fluffy, white towel around
myself and walk into my closet to pick something out to wear. After scavenging
savagely through my closet, I find a sleeveless v-neckline dress that reaches
about my thigh. It starts solid blue at the top and fades with a pattern to white at
the bottom. I put on an aquamarine necklace to match the dress. My tall, low-
heeled brown boots that I had borrowed from my mom a few years ago will
complete the look. I walk back into the bathroom to brush my hair and teeth. I
decide to work on my hair first which is in dire need of a cut. It looks wild. My
mahogany locks reach almost to my lower back. Knots tear at the brush as I pull
it through. I tame my hair into a semi-workable state and curl it expertly to my
liking. I run out to my phone, still charging on the bedside table, and check the
time. I still have thirty minutes to spare. I decide to leave slightly early. I tug on
my brown boots, grab my patterned bag, and lock the door behind me. I drift
meaningfully toward the elevator, giddy in anticipation.
As I wait for the elevator to get to the lobby, I think of the man. His eyes,
his hair, his… body, my inner self chimes in. NO, you will not ruin this for me!
I scream at myself. Ruin? I have done nothing…it is what you have done. You
jumped out of the window, not me. Why had I jumped out of the window? I
don't remember. I couldn't have been myself. I'm afraid of heights; the merest
thought of jumping again frightened me to no end. Against my better judgment,
I had done something unlike my own everyday actions. I had violated my code-
of-conduct. It made no sense. Why would I jump! WHY! Maybe you wanted to
experience fun for once, my inner voice mutters to itself. SHUT UP, I've had
enough of you for a lifetime, I growl back. I snap back to my current location just
as the elevator doors open up to the lobby.
I check my phone to see that it is just about ten o'clock. I scan the room
for him, but see not even a trace of him. Then I hear, "Over here!" I look to the
left and see him sitting at a table, seemingly waiting for me. I smile brightly and
walk toward him. "Hey," I say when I reach the table.
"Please, sit." He half grins back at me. His smile is like an invitation to
come closer, but I sit respectfully across from him and set my bag down on my
"Thank you," I say, "for keeping me safe."
"It was my pleasure," he smirks. His tone makes me think there is a
deeper meaning to his words. "I'll tell you later, when it's safer," he says in a
whisper; almost as if he had been listening to my thoughts. "Are you hungry?" he
"Extremely, actually." I hadn't even noticed that my stomach had been off-
and-on growling since I left my hotel room.
"Let's get you something to eat then," he says politely.
"Ok," I nod in approval of the idea.
We had consumed the most delicious food that I had ever eaten
throughout my entire vacation here in Paris. Turns out, this man, whose name
I found out is Leo, also speaks fluent French. I was greatly surprised by this
because his English is practically impeccable. I speak a little bit of French, but
not enough to hold a long conversation or anything of the sort.
We talk about this and that. We walk around the lobby, but find ourselves
uninspired by it's blandness. We finally decide on taking a walk in the gardens
outside. Desertion meets us as we walk outside. There is no one in the gardens.
I look around at the flowering plants around us. There is everything from ferns to
roses. My inspection of the gardens continues, until Leo questions, "I suppose
you're wondering why I wanted to talk to you?" To be honest, up until now, I was
just enjoying his company. I was cheerful in that I hadn't heard from my inner
voice since early morning.
"Well, I suppose I would, indeed." I felt almost too proper with that
statement, but I was starting to get angry. My previous tranquility had vanished.
"Please, don't get mad at me. I will explain everything." He takes a deep
breath, presumably to steady himself. "Ok, so the other night when you were
standing on the window. At that time, I was outside by the pool, looking up at
you. I had seen you earlier that day and I was wondering what you were doing.
You looked like you were having an internal struggle with yourself. I assume on
whether or not to go through with the jump. I couldn't figure out what would
prompt you to be up there in the first place. I thought maybe someone was
blackmailing you. I wanted to go up and stop you, but just as I had gotten up
from my spot on the ground, you jumped." He stops and smiles glumly at me
before whispering, "I thought you would stop yourself."
"I don't remember anything that happened after I jumped. Today, I
couldn't even remember why I jumped." I think hopelessly back to the jump, my
mind still unable to comprehend why it had happened.
"I have a theory- but wait, back to the rest of my account of that night.
Ok, so, you jumped, and I went in after you. I pulled you out while everyone else
was screaming and lay you down on the ground. I stood worried until you finally
came back to me. You opened your beautiful green eyes and looked up at me. I
could tell you weren't actually seeing me, but you were alive and that was all that
I stand shocked at his account of the story, but stay quiet, for he will
continue. I am more concerned by what his theory could be. I'm not crazy…I
hope he doesn't think I'm crazy. You're crazy, my inner voice says to me. NO, I'M
"So, as I was saying," Leo coughed, "I have a theory on why you jumped,
but don't remember why you committed the action."
I look up at him with big eyes, "What's the theory?" I wonder out loud.
"I…I think you have two personas."
"Like, what? Two people?"
"Yeah, something like that. I think that there's someone inside you making
you do things against your better judgment." Huh, well I had felt like I was being
pushed out of that window. Does he think I have an inner voice? Is that what Leo
"Well, sometimes…" I gulp, somewhat unwilling to finish the sentence.
"It's okay, you can trust me. You can tell me anything." He says with such
emotion that I would spill my heart out to him right now.
"…This voice speaks to me; an 'inner voice' is what I call it. It's not me. I
know it's not. But this voice tells my to do certain things and it gives me certain
"So you're saying that someone else talks to you, inside your head?" he
"Yes, but is that bad? Am I crazy?" I panic.
"No, no! You aren't crazy. You just have multiple personality disorder.
Don't panic or get angry. You are very normal. You have another person though,
who is the opposite of you. It makes you do things. I don't think that person likes
Does Leo think I'm weird?
"No, I don't think you're weird. I actually like you very much." He smirked
at me. I hadn't realized that I had spoken that question aloud. So…he likes me? I
blush. Ooh La La, my inner voice mocks. Aw, Shut it. You can't control me
Both Leo and I get up. He holds out his hand and interlaces my fingers
with his. I smile to myself as we walk away from the gardens and back into real
life. A question forms in the front of my mind. "So, you're fluent in French?" I ask
vehemently interested in his answer. He chuckles once more and nods, "Oui, ma
chérie." I blush once more and squeeze his hand to show that I feel the same
French Words:
* L'Etoile d'Or Hôtel- The Gold Star Hotel
* Oh mon Dieu- Oh my God
*"Oui, ma chérie."- "Yes, my love."