A blue scarf wrapped around her neck, a thick red jacket hugging her body. Still, she feels no warmth, no, she feels only the bitter cold.
Then again, nothing had ever been warm after she left. But it's too late to go back now. So she spins on her heel to face her apartment building, complete with its red-bricked glory, and turned away from everything that was, everything that could have been, everything that should have been, everything that would have been, but everything that was never meant to be.
She had always known it was too good to be true. It would never last. They're incompatible.
But under all that pride, all that bitterness, she knows that if only she had stayed, then maybe her heart wouldn't be shattered now, and maybe she'd still be cuddled up against her side, and everything would be as it should be. And she'd be warm, even in the middle of a chilly winter.
But she's here now, and there's nothing she can do to go back.
It would've never done her good anyway. She's just an obstacle to that person's success, and she didn't want to be that. She's just doing that person a favor, yeah, that's it.
So she marches on with light feet, her thoughts convinced she had done the right thing, but a heavy heart filled to the brim with regret and longing for a love she knows could have lasted forever.
Could that woman be thinking the same thing right now?
She knows she seems to have a life befit a queen, but it isn't like she would use people who love her just to further her career. She knew that. So what did she do to earn this?
She had waited for so long. So long just to hear an answer, so long just to hear something – anything – from that person.
And she had been happy. They had been happy. She never even planned to let her go, at least not when she knew that they'd be happier like this; they won't be broken anymore, they'd be whole. She would do anything for the happiness of that person, so where did she go wrong?
"This is better for both of us." How? Neither of them would be happy. Neither of them would be whole.
"You have everything you could ever wish for right at the palm of your hand. What else could you ever want to have a nice life?" Why would she settle for just a 'nice' life? She could have the best life. She could have the most awesome life. In all honesty, she didn't care one bit about her wealth and success. She just wanted to be happy, with her.
"You're better off without me, anyway." Lies. She can see it in those green eyes she's known for so long, she can see it clearer than the stars in the night sky. She can see how the tears glisten and she can hear the crack in that voice, she can see the tiny movement to hide that face she can only see as perfect.
She just wished it was a joke. A cruel, cruel joke that would get her a laugh from the blonde after she realizes what it really is. A cruel, cruel joke, though in reality, no matter how much she didn't want it to be real, it was never a joke at all.
It was cruel, cruel reality. And she wished it didn't have to hurt this much.
"So I'll just... See you around." At the sound of the door closing, at the sound of the lock clicking into place, she knew it was over, all over, and there was no turning back to the past anymore, no matter how much it hurt.
All that's left now is to move on, but even after so long, she doubts she can ever really get over the woman who she just knows could have given her a love that would have lasted forever.