AN: I do not own Hellsing nor any of the characters therein. Some of my ideas imply light OOC. What happens when Seras Victoria gets bored? She doesn't know what to do, so she goes around asking others what they do when they get bored…my attempt at humour in an otherwise very dark story. Enjoy.

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There was boring, and then there was boring.

This was boring.

Ex-police officer Seras Victoria, or "Police Girl" to Alucard, was lying in her four-poster scratching the lacquer off of the inside her coffin. She was just disinterested in everything right now. Letting her mind wander, she paused in her pickings to sit up and promptly hit her head on the lid.

"Oww!"

Rubbing her now-sore forehead, she opened the lid and stepped out. The room was slightly chilly but otherwise hospitable. Grabbing a sheet of paper from a small pile, she began to make a list of things to do at these most boring of times. Frowning, she realised she couldn't think of anything on her own.

On her own. Brilliant.

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Sir Integra Wingates Fairbrook Hellsing was sitting at her desk smoking one of her cigars and leafing through paperwork. She was going to give herself the mother of all paper cuts one day doing this.

"Good evening, Sir!" chirped a very enthusiastic, bubbly voice. Integra nearly fell backwards.

"Officer Victoria?"

"Yes, Sir, it's me. I was wondering…what do you do when you're bored?"

"Pardon me?"

"I was wondering…Sir…what do you do when you're bored?"

Integra blinked, then adjusted her glasses.

"I…usually just do my work. My desk work," here she gestured to the papers lying all around, "usually prevents me from doing much else."

"Oh, but if you had much more free time…like me…what would you do?"

"I suppose I would probably…" Integra thought hard. Visions of fancy spas involving a lot of relaxation filled her head. "Relax."

Seras pouted. "That I have no trouble with. I do too much of that."

Integra looked at her over the rims of her glasses.

"If you're bored, Officer Victoria, I can give you something to do…"

"Yes, Sir?" she asked, hopeful for something interesting to do.

"You can help me file this paperwork."

Seras let out a sigh, but nodded and picked up a stack of forms…in triplicate…

This was going to be even worse…

*****

Review please!

Next victim of Seras' boredness…er, chapter: Alucard!