Hermione stared at the unembellished white box on her desk. It was small and seemed unimportant, as though someone had set it down and forgotten to pick it up again. Then again, her colleagues would never leave anything on her desk. Her compulsive organization of every paper to cross it and furious lecturing of anyone to interfere with her space had caused them to treat her office as sacred. As the department head of the Research of Ailments and Magical Maladies (RAMM), Hermione had a right to instil fear in the incompetent.
Maybe it was a present from Ernie, but she didn't think it was close to their anniversary. Neither of them seemed bothered to keep up with the exact date, but they would kind of guess around the time it should be and discuss what they would do for the occasion. Normal couples were supposed to celebrate anniversaries. Their relationship was dull enough that she knew better than to expect any surprises from him, especially not at work. What was the date today, anyway?
A quick look at her calendar told her it was the fourteenth of March. The first day she and Pansy had started dating- odd that she should still remember the date with such clarity many years later. Hermione could feel her mood turning sour. It had been four months, three weeks, and four days, since she had met Pansy for dinner. Not that she had given it any thought, of course. She had not heard from Pansy since and had been happy enough to continue about her carefully constructed life.
With a sigh, she pushed the box to the edge of her desk, shooting it glares every few minutes. She bitterly began to go through research notes, making comments on her notepad about why she thought the experiment went poorly and things she needed to look into. Eventually, her curiosity got the better of her, and she grumbled, reaching for the offensive box.
She pulled off the lid to reveal a preserved daisy and a small slip of parchment that read, "Do you remember?"
"Pansy," Hermione giggled as her shoulder was roughly bumped again.
"Hmm? Can I help you?" Pansy questioned, playing a game that was quickly becoming habit.
"No," Hermione smiled, reaching out to hold Pansy's hand. "You can just ask if you want to hold my hand. There isn't any need to resort to violence."
Pansy scoffed and tried to cover a smile. They had only been dating for a short while, but the two felt as though they knew the other well. As they were still keeping the budding relationship a secret from their friends, they would go on these walks to spend time together without any prying eyes.
"Let's sit," Pansy said suddenly, dropping to the ground and pulling Hermione into the grass beside her.
"Oomph." Hermione fell ungracefully to the ground next to Pansy, her head hitting the ground. "Pansy!" she moaned, moving her hand to her head. "Give me a little bit of warning next time, okay?" Pansy wasn't paying her question any mind.
"You've something in your hair," she mumbled as though in a trance, reaching her hand out to grasp the object.
"Grass?" Hermione questioned.
"No," Pansy replied, disentangling the item from Hermione's messy curls. "A daisy."
"Well, I suppose that's not as bad," Hermione smiled.
"No," Pansy smiled before giving her a peck on the cheek. She then handed the flower to Hermione. "Here," she offered. "A daisy to remember I love you."
Hermione gasped and froze. That was the first time either of them had used the l-word. "I- you-" she stuttered.
Pansy grasped her cheeks and pulled her face towards hers to deliver a sweet kiss full of promise. "I love you, Hermione," she spoke softly, her hands still framing Hermione's face. Hermione slowly let her eyelids drift open.
"I- I love you too, Pansy," she replied, the daisy still cradled in her hand. Pansy replied by pushing her into the grass and kissing her more demandingly, the daisy crushing in her hand.
She could never forget. Hermione frowned and violently put the lid back on the box before throwing it into the dustbin. She returned to her notes with renewed vigour.
"Hermione," Erin popped her head around Hermione's door. "Can I ask you something?"
"If you must," Hermione sighed.
"I have a quick question about the Slug-Vomiting Relief Potion," Erin began nervously. "Is this a bad time?"
Hermione glared at the dustbin as though to prevent it from talking or spewing her secrets. "Just ask your question, Erin."
"I- ah- I can't remember which ingredients we decided to try to improve efficacy," she began nervously. "I've tested the lacewing flies and fresh mandrake leaves. Neither of them has produced the desired results. Which was the third we were going to try? I've spilt across my notes and cannot remember the last."
"Devil's snare." Hermione glared at the dustbin again. Erin followed her eyes, looking very confused. Hermione returned her harsh gaze to the girl's face.
"Er- thanks," Erin mumbled before swiftly leaving Hermione's office. Hermione felt badly for scaring her off, but she really did not care to deal with it just then.
After reading one line of her notes a ridiculous number of times, Hermione sighed, leaning back in her chair. She closed her eyes, before cracking one open to peek at the dustbin again.
"This is ridiculous. You aren't going to make me deal with it," she muttered. "Lovely. Now I'm talking to a dustbin!" She threw her arms up in the air.
Acknowledging that she wasn't going to be able to let it get thrown out, Hermione carefully pulled the box out of the rubbish. "Oh, Pansy," she sighed, tucking the box into a desk drawer. She set her head into her hands on her desk. "What am I to do with you?"
As though Pansy had read her mind, an owl flew into the window and delivered a letter that read simply, "Join me for dinner? Tonight? –PP"
Hermione glared at the owl, but it seemed hardened and unimpressed. She stared back at the letter. After a bit, the owl hooted as though annoyed at the wait.
Hermione reached into her desk for a new piece of parchment and scrawled, "I can't. Previous Engagements. Very busy." She handed it to the owl with a smug grimace.
She watched the owl fly out the window before returning to her work. She was incredibly aware of the box in her drawer and Pansy's letter at the edge of her desk.
Just as she was becoming lost in the Temper Trivialities Theory, the owl returned. "No," Hermione told it. "Shoo!"
The owl moved closer, looking bored. It tapped its foot before extending its leg. "Absolutely not," Hermione told it. "Clear off."
The owl again was not deterred. Hermione decided to ignore it and returned to the theory. The owl bit her finger. "Ow! You bitter, overgrown insect! Go back from whence you came!" she glared at the owl.
A war of wills began, Hermione carefully keeping her body away from the owl and the owl still appearing bored. After several moments of silence, the owl made a gesture as though huffing and flew onto Hermione's head, its talons sinking into her curls. She shook her head, but the bird merely pecked at her scalp. When she moved her hands up to hold the spot, it pecked at her fingers. Hermione felt like screaming and letting out a stream of profanities that she wasn't even sure she knew.
"Fine," she yelled. "I give up. Give me the stupid letter!" The owl flew down from her hair and back to the desk where it smirked at her.
"I hate you!" she told it vindictively. The owl cocked its head as though telling her she was foolish and that clearly it didn't care.
She wrestled the letter from the bird mumbling, "Foul demon."
Pansy had written, "You're still a terrible liar. 8 pm- The Weeping Willow." Hermione looked up to see that the horrid creature had already left through the window. Apparently, its standing orders were merely to make sure she read the missive.
At 7:45, Hermione rose from her desk and wandered into the bathroom. She just wanted to make sure her hair hadn't grown anything in it from that owl. Well, she might as well cover up those black circles under her eyes. A bit of lippy couldn't hurt. It wasn't as though she cared how she looked or anything. It wasn't as though she were actually going to dinner.
At 8:05, Hermione's glances at the clock were preventing her from doing any real work. She knew that she couldn't avoid this. She sat at her desk, tapping her foot, fighting a battle with herself that she couldn't help but lose. As much as it pained her to admit, Pansy still had an undeniable power over her. Dinner was a nice gesture though- maybe they could be friends.
At 8:10, Hermione walked into The Weeping Willow and was escorted to a table in the back.
"Pansy," she acknowledged, setting her jacket over the back of the chair before sitting down.
"Hermione," Pansy replied with a quirked eyebrow. "I thought you'd come."
"Pansy, no more games," Hermione sighed. "Let's just agree to be friends, okay? Nothing more."
"For now," Pansy acquiesced with a nod. Hermione released the tension she had been gathering.
"Thank you," Hermione whispered.
"Perhaps we'll make great friends," Pansy added. There were a few moments of silence as they ordered drinks and waited for them to arrive.
"So, how is Ernie?" Pansy broke the silence.
"He's fine," Hermione said severely. "Are you working? I don't think I asked last I saw you."
"Hah, no," Pansy laughed. "I've been keeping up with a few charities but nothing more."
"Pansy?" Hermione asked, laying comfortably on Pansy's chest, her head under Pansy's chin and Pansy's arm around her shoulders.
"Hmm?" Pansy questioned sleepily, waking up with Hermione's question.
"What do you want to do in the future?"
"I- I don't know. I had always thought I'd be married off early and be a lovely wife. Produce an heir- you know, the whole pureblood bit."
"Will you still do that?" Hermione asked, tensing.
"No," Pansy said darkly. "The war changed everything." After a pause when they both reflected on how very true that was, Pansy added, "I'm much happier now."
Hermione lifted her head to place a light kiss on Pansy's lips. "Me too," she agreed. After a pause, she added, "Will you want to get a job?"
"Hah, no," Pansy laughed, and Hermione felt the pleasant vibration in her chest. "Employment is so plebeian. I expect I could just manage my family's funds. There're enough to last several lifetimes."
"Maybe you could get involved with some charities?"
"I don't know- that's not really my style."
"That's what I'd do, if I had the money," Hermione told her, snuggling closer. "Otherwise, I'll try to help through my job- maybe with research. I think I'd like research." Hermione yawned; it was getting late.
"Maybe we can save the world together."
"I'd like that," Hermione mumbled, beginning to drift off to sleep.
"As long as I've got you," Pansy whispered, pressing a kiss onto Hermione's forehead.
"Charity?" Hermione questioned, startled.
"Yeah," Pansy agreed, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Just here and there."
"Which here and what there?" Hermione asked, raising her eyebrow. "Why don't you tell me about one of them?"
"I- ah- I-" Pansy seemed to be struggling to choose which ones she should tell Hermione about. "I help organize and catalogue documents and books at the MWL on a volunteer basis. Nothing too important."
"The Main Wizarding Library? The one containing all historical documents of any significance?" Hermione gushed. "They won't let hardly anyone near them!"
"I could help you out there," Pansy winked. "It seems that once they've decided your safe to be around them and can help maintain the preservation charms, you've got completely free reign-"
"No!" Hermione leaned forward in her chair, hands gripping the table. "You can take anyone to the back rooms?"
"I can do more than that, love," Pansy smirked.
"There- oh my- the document on- I can't believe-" Hermione gushed, her thoughts jumbling in her excitement.
"Haha, Hermione," Pansy smiled at her. "Calm down!"
"It's an incredible place! I can't believe they'll let you have free reign," Hermione continued. "Why did you-?" She wasn't sure about the question she wanted to ask, so she halted mid-way.
"They give me free reign, because I have donated more money than they get from the Ministry in a century," Pansy scoffed. "I must confess when I began contributing to and later volunteering at the library, all I could think about were the stories you would tell. It seemed a magical place, and I wanted to see it for myself. You had deemed it worthy, and you were not mistaken."
"I- I would love to see it for myself. Obviously, I have been in the front, and they'll fetch documents for me from the back, but they've never allowed me to go for myself or to explore."
"I can take you to see anything you like," Pansy grinned.
"I- thank you, Pansy," Hermione replied, regaining her composure. "I'm not sure if I can."
"I thought we were friends now?" Pansy intoned.
"Er- yes, we are," Hermione responded, seeming to debate between her constant desire to stay away from Pansy and heartbreak and her intense interest in the library's resources. "Very well," she finally said. "We can discuss when our trip will be later."
"Indeed," Pansy smirked. "I think you'll enjoy it very much." The conversation continued amiably, Hermione beginning to talk about her job and the mishaps that came with research. The topics of Ernie and anything relating to their intimate past were strictly avoided. Hermione nearly felt as though they had returned to the tenuous friendship that had arisen between the two after the war.
"Another fight?" Pansy asked, holding Hermione in her arms.
"Stupid Ron," Hermione choked on a sob. "He just doesn't understand. The war is over, people made mistakes, and we all need to move on." Pansy stiffened a bit.
"It's something hard to get over. Don't you think?"
"It can be," Hermione pulled back a bit. "If we can be friends after all this, I don't understand why he can't let us."
"Hermione…" Pansy sighed.
"No, Pansy," Hermione grabbed her tightly. "You are my friend! It took us a while to get here, but there's nowhere else I'd rather be." Both girls thought back to the mess that things had been post-war.
Many Death Eaters had been forgiven with minor penalties for their involvement, provided they weren't in the main, controlling circle. Some had gone to Azkaban for their involvement. Pansy's family had been given a slap on the wrist and been allowed to return to normal life- well, as normal as it could be. There was still a great deal of prejudice against former Death Eaters, but many of them, especially the youngest of Hermione and Pansy's age, had been swept up into a cruel pattern that was too difficult to break out of and all they had ever known. The Wizengamot had recognized the unfairness of trying these victims of war for minor crimes and had allowed them to begin anew.
The repeat of a final year at Hogwarts had given many students time to put aside prejudices and make friends with the former Death Eaters. Hermione had been reluctant at first, but after seeing ink pots dumped over Pansy's hair and tears glistening in her eyes, Hermione had realised the futility and cruelty of further hostility between them all.
Hermione had initiated a friendship by inviting Pansy to study with her. It had been growing stronger through the fights Hermione had with her friends and the disapproving glances she was often the recipient of.
Ron would not release his stubborn hate and fought with Hermione about her friendship. Harry was somewhat less cruel, but still very distant, not understanding why she would cross the line they had created. It hurt Hermione every time they and other Gryffindors would insult and shun her. Pansy was always there with a smile and a hug to help her forget about them.
Pansy ran her fingers through Hermione's hair. "Are you sure you want to be friends?"
"Pansy!"
"I know, but it still seems like an awful lot of trouble."
"Definitely worth it," Hermione sighed contentedly, relaxing into Pansy's embrace.
This time, the friendship was a lot different. Returning to friendship after all the pain was extremely difficult to do. Hermione was being extremely careful not to make physical contact with Pansy.
"So what are your newest projects?" Pansy asked.
"Hmm?" Hermione asked distractedly. "Oh, well, we're working on a few projects. There are several to increase the efficacy of already existing potions, a few to develop new spells to heal curses more readily, and then there's the biggest project. We're trying to develop a non-draining way to cure the common cold."
"How so?"
"Well, you know that the cold is pretty insipid. It's something we haven't really been able to fix with a simple spell. You can treat the symptoms with potions, but there's no cure for the root problem."
"Does it really matter?"
"Well, yes. Spells and any kind of magic tied to the caster will go awry when a witch or wizard has a cold. For your everyday spells, it isn't a problem, but for Aurors or Healers, whose job depends on their ability to successfully cast complicated spells, this can be a big issue. The cold distorts your magic a slight amount, and if we can find a successful cure for the root cause, we can get rid of this problem."
"I see. That doesn't seem like it would garner much interest."
"You'd be surprised. How many people really want to have a cold, or wouldn't get rid of it if they had the chance?" Hermione asked. Pansy acknowledged the truth with a nod. "It's mostly a Ministry project to improve performance of workers in delicate fields."
"So then, what do you usually do with your time off?" Pansy questioned.
"Time off?" Hermione repeated, puzzled.
"Surely they don't expect you to work round the clock?" Pansy smiled.
"Oh, no," Hermione returned the smile. "They don't require it, but I do tend to get caught up in my projects." She thought about it for a few moments. "I guess when I am not at the office, I do like to read at home."
"You haven't changed at all, Hermione," Pansy said warmly.
"And yet, I have," Hermione said sharply. "More than you would know." Pansy had been the one who had caused her pain- more than either Harry or Ron had been able to so long ago. She had been changed by it.
Hermione woke slowly, not bothering to open her eyes yet. She stretched her arm to the left, trying to seek out the other occupant. Strangely, the bed felt cold, as though vacated hours earlier. Hermione cracked her eyes open and looked around.
Pansy didn't usually get up without her. They would snuggle in the mornings before beginning their day. Upon the cursory glance out the bedroom door, she couldn't see any lights on. Maybe Pansy had wandered out to the couch and fell asleep.
Hermione got up and wandered out of the bedroom. Pansy wasn't in the sitting room or the kitchen. She wasn't in the loo- all the lights were off. Where was she? Was she alright? Did something happen?
Hermione was beginning to get worried. She put on her jacket and dashed to the front door. She wasn't thinking clearly, but perhaps she could still find Pansy. If she had been abducted, they couldn't have gone far. Just before she opened the door, she noticed a note. Hands shaking, she unfolded the parchment.
"Hermione,
I don't know how to tell you this, and I couldn't bear to do this while you were sleeping so beautifully. We've had a wonderful few months together in this flat, but I don't think we can continue this way. I don't want to drag this out, and I don't know how to say this, but I'm afraid I don't love you anymore. I'm not sure if I ever did. Things will be better this way. I wish you all the best in your bright future.
-PP"
Hermione felt her legs failing her, and she sank down to the floor. "I don't love you anymore" was blinding her as though it were written in bright lights. She closed her eyes, tears leaking out the edges, but she could still see those letters written on the parchment clenched in her fist.
"I don't love you anymore." Things had been going so well. They had decided to move in together after graduating from Hogwarts. These past few months had been bliss- for Hermione anyway. Pansy had seemed distant recently, but Hermione had tried so hard to ignore it.
She curled up by the door. It must be a joke. Pansy will come back, and they will make up, and it will be perfect again.
There's no perfection in reality. Two days later, she left her post beside the door, giving up hope that love existed and that she'd ever find it again. One month later, she had moved out. Two months later, she sent Pansy an owl saying she still cared for her. Pansy's response was only "I'm sorry." Three years and a few days later, Pansy had sought her out for dinner and confessed that she still loved her. Three years and some months later, Hermione still hadn't loved anyone else.
"I- Pansy, I think I should get going," Hermione said.
"Are you sure?" Pansy seemed concerned.
"Yes," Hermione spoke softly. "I really do need to get going. I'll talk to you some other time."
Pansy stood and moved as though to give her a hug, but Hermione held her hand out to stop her. "Alright," Pansy said. "I'll be in touch."
Pansy was in touch. Three days after dinner, Hermione crumpled up Pansy's note that said, "Dinner was lovely. Repeat this weekend? –PP"
Hermione knew that spending time with Pansy was bad for her. She waved away the owl waiting for her response, and it flew away; luckily, Pansy had not sent the insistent owl from the last time.
When Pansy sent a note the next day inviting her to explore the MWL, Hermione found herself unable to refuse. It was the offer of a lifetime. That was why she was anxiously waiting at the MWL for Pansy Saturday morning.
As soon as she walked in, Hermione shuffled over to her. "Pansy!" she cried in relief.
"Hermione," she acknowledged before casting Tempus. "I thought I might be late- I wasn't expecting you to get here before I did. You're very early."
"I was excited," Hermione defended before following Pansy to the desk where she signed them in and grabbed the necessary keys.
"Do you have any particular documents you wanted to find?"
"Of course," Hermione replied, pulling a long scroll out of her bag. "I have one thousand seven hundred and thirty-two. Although I would like some time just to look around too."
"I'll help you locate some of them," Pansy offered. "We might have to come back for a few weeks to finish this list."
"I've nothing else to do," Hermione replied with a shrug.
"Alright," Pansy quirked an eyebrow, curious but not asking why. "To find a document, you simply hold up your wand, say 'Reperio' and the document main title. A little red light will appear above the location, and you can follow it to that aisle and then find the document in one of the shelves. It's not a perfect method, but it's the best we have." She shrugged. "What's the first one?"
"The personal diaries of Rowena Ravenclaw," Hermione blushed.
"Those are highly guarded, you know," Pansy told her. "Their personal nature means they are rarely released."
"I know," Hermione blushed again. "I still- I would like to read them."
"Alright," Pansy said before thrusting her wand into the air. "Reperio the personal diaries of Rowena Ravenclaw." A little red light appeared a fair distance away, and they walked in silence over to it.
There were five diaries on the second shelf, barely held together by preservation charms. Pansy carefully showed Hermione the spells necessary to remove the books from the shelves and to move them over to the tables. She then cast the spells to keep them together and protected while at the table.
"Here," she finally said, "Why don't you give it a try on your scroll? Just to make sure you have it before moving onto the documents?"
"Alright," Hermione said nervously. She placed her scroll into the shelf where the diaries had been and cast the first spell.
"Good," Pansy encouraged. Hermione moved on to the next to move them towards the table. "A little slower. Take your time."
Hermione smiled proudly as her scroll settled on the table.
"Now, cast the Preservation and Stasis Charms," Pansy directed.
"I know," Hermione told her. She tried to cast the first ones, but nothing happened. She tried again, but still nothing tingled across the parchment as it had done when Pansy had shown her.
"Here," Pansy said, coming up from behind Hermione. "Move your wand more softly and make sure you elongate the last syllable. Reservo!"
Hermione tensed as she felt Pansy's breath whisper across her neck. "I- I can do it," she whispered. Pansy took a step back.
"Your hand is shaking," Pansy mumbled as though in wonder.
"I- it's nothing. Give me a second." Hermione took a deep breath. She tried not to think about Pansy, and to only think about the new spell she was learning. Finally, she opened her eyes and cast, "Reservo!"
A silver line tingled across the parchment. Hermione smiled in triumph. Pansy grinned in return, which made Hermione's smile falter a little. She cast the rest of the charms without a glitch.
"It took me a few weeks to get all these charms correct," Pansy told her.
"I always was a fast learner," Hermione told her with a bit of pride.
"That you were," Pansy agreed. "I'll work on finding some of the other documents on your list, and you can start reading through those."
"Brilliant," Hermione said, sitting down to begin perusing the diaries. "Thank you, Pansy," she added sincerely.
"No problem," Pansy told her, grabbing the scroll and wandering away.
Hermione used her wand to carefully open the first diary. There were only a few passages that she wanted to read, so she used a standard book search to find the pages they would be on. She then carefully flipped through the pages to the first of interest.
Several hours later, she had finished with the diaries, taking careful notes of interesting passages about how Hogwarts was built and the problems the founders had encountered- it was better than Hogwarts: A History! She was now on the fifth or sixth document on her list. Pansy sat down next to her, having obtained the first thirty documents.
"This reminds me of our study sessions in the library," Pansy smirked. "You always were the more studious one."
"You always were the more obnoxious one," Hermione added.
"Hermione," Pansy groaned. "Are you almost finished yet?"
Hermione remained silent, reading the passage of a large book. "Hermione!" Pansy said louder, though still trying to avoid the ire of Madam Pince. When she still received no response, she kicked Hermione under the table.
"Ouch!" Hermione jerked away from the book. "What was that for?"
"Ignoring me," Pansy grinned. Hermione began to mumble something about NEWTs.
"Oh, please, Hermione," Pansy rolled her eyes. "It's not healthy to be here all day."
"We left for meals!" Hermione asserted, but Pansy just gave her a look. "And just yesterday, we went out to the lake for a short walk."
"Oh, yes," Pansy sighed. "You Gryffindors are just such partiers. Never a dull moment between the library, food, sleep-" Pansy was cut off by a swift kick to her shins.
Pansy glared at Hermione. Hermione had returned to her books, apparently untroubled by her lack of fun.
"Let's do something!" Pansy called out too loudly after several fruitless minutes of glaring. Madam Pince shhhed from across the library.
"C'mon, Hermione," Pansy pleaded. "It's a Saturday!"
"Perfect day for uninterrupted studying," Hermione asserted.
"Let's sneak out to Hogsmeade tonight!" Pansy whispered conspiratorially.
"Why?" Hermione sighed.
"To do something fun. To get away for a bit."
"Hmm," Hermione considered the idea. "Alright." Pansy's jaw dropped in shock.
"Really?" she asked. "Wait- no, don't rethink it. We're going!"
At exactly 8:30 pm, Pansy closed Hermione's books to many protests, handed Hermione her jacket, and dragged her out of the school. They soon arrived at The Three Broomsticks.
"Really?" Hermione asked.
"Why not?" Pansy countered. "Seems as good a place as any and it's got plenty of alcohol."
"Alcohol?"
"Yes. We are of age now, you know. I know it's rather plebeian, but it is generally considered to be fun."
Hermione shrugged and pushed open the door.
Several drinks later, Hermione put an arm around Pansy. "Panshy," she slurred. "Thish was a brilliant idea! Every day should be today!"
"That doesn't make sense," Pansy giggled.
"I like you, Panshy," Hermione said, placing a kiss on Pansy's cheek. "You're brilliant!"
"You are quite a happy and affectionate drunk," Pansy remarked.
"You are a good friend," she sighed contentedly, patting Pansy's head. "I am sho happy we are friends!" Hermione laid her head on Pansy's shoulders.
"I think maybe it's time to go back," Pansy said gently.
"No!" Hermione objected. "Just want to shtay here." She nuzzled into Pansy's neck.
"Definitely time to go back," she asserted. "We need to work on your tolerance."
"Nooo," Hermione giggled, but she stood up anyway. Pansy had to help her get into her jacket, and the two girls laughed over the many missed efforts at getting arms into sleeves.
On the walk back, Hermione slung her arm around Pansy's shoulders. "My dearesht Panshy," she exclaimed. "What would I do without you?"
"Presumably not be drunk," Pansy told her.
"I really like you," Hermione stopped walking. "Do you like me?"
Pansy halted and turned to look at her. "Er- yes, obviously I like you. We're friends."
"No, I mean," Hermione searched her mind for the words, "like me. What'sh the word?" She thought for a bit. "I mean-" Hermione reached out to Pansy, grabbed her face and kissed her sloppily. Pansy was stunned at first and then slowly returned the messy kisses. Hermione pulled back.
"Fancy!" she exclaimed. "That's what I meant!"
"You silly girl," Pansy shook her head. She pulled Hermione's face back to hers and proceeded to get back to where Hermione had left off. Her tongue slowly parted Hermione's lips and the two girls passionately and sloppily kissed until Hermione pulled back again.
"You don't have to kiss me, you know?"
"I know."
"Okay," Hermione stopped to think. "You do like me then?"
"Yes," Pansy felt her face flush. "I do like you, you git. Now, stop talking."
Hermione returned to taking notes with renewed vigour. It wasn't fair that Pansy had come back into her life and was being so- Pansy. Conversation seemed to come so easily while they were working. Hermione was trying her hardest to stop it. Short, one-word answers and brief annoyed glances soon stopped Pansy's attempts at conversation.
Pansy inevitably became bored and wandered off. Hermione released the tension sitting in her shoulders and placed all her energy in the documents. She was learning so much- it had to worth all these little reminders of what they'd had and lost.
Pansy came back with Hermione every day for two weeks and three days. They talked a little, Hermione read and learned, and their relationship became more and more amiable. It was no longer painful for Hermione to be around Pansy- she had new memories that helped her forget the old ones. It was akin to getting a real fresh start. Sometimes, they would simply sit in companionable silence while Hermione read. When she found something that fascinated her, she would break the silence and share it with Pansy. Pansy would smile as though she had just been given a present.
They stayed from sunrise to past sunset on the weekends and from when Hermione left work until late at night on weekdays. These sessions lasted until Pansy would declare it time to get some rest. Occasionally, they would go grab something to eat, enjoying the food with friendly conversation. All the awkwardness and pain present at the beginning had been slowly fading away.
On the fourth day of the third week, Pansy could no longer contain her curiosity. "Hermione," she began, "don't you ever have somewhere else to be?"
"How so?" Hermione asked, clearly puzzled. "I do go to work and the like. Don't you have somewhere else to be?"
"No," Pansy replied. "I don't even have a real job." She paused. "What about Ernie? Doesn't he wonder where you are?"
"We broke up a week ago," Hermione mumbled into the document she was reading.
"Wha- why?"
"It was a farce," Hermione sighed. "We had a terrible relationship. He finally found someone else, and I wasn't going to stop him." She reflected a bit. "Neither of us was very surprised or upset at the end. It was actually a bit of relief that we no longer had to pretend."
"Oh," Pansy remarked, not knowing how else to respond.
"I can't say he particularly liked that I was never at home, but that was never how our relationship functioned anyway."
Pansy thought for a moment. "I can't say I'm disappointed," she said quietly.
Hermione shrugged and returned to her notes, a small blush creeping up her cheeks.
They sat in quiet for a while longer. "Would you be upset if I asked you to dinner?" Pansy questioned.
"We go to dinner practically every night together," Hermione remarked. "Why would I be upset now?"
"Because I don't mean the friendly way we have been. I want to take you on a date."
"Pansy…"
"Hermione, I know. I know I've hurt you, and I am so, so sorry," Pansy pleaded, looking down at the floor. "I'd love to spend the rest of my life atoning for it, but I don't know if that will ever be enough." She looked up to Hermione.
Hermione was looking back, but her expression was unreadable.
"We- I wasn't mature enough then," Pansy continued. "I was young, scared, and impossibly stupid." She burst out with an awkward laugh. "I don't think you'll ever understand how very much I regret it. I only hope that you can forgive me."
"I do forgive you," Hermione replied. "I'm not sure I can trust you."
"Can't- can we- I want to try," Pansy finally said, stumbling over different thoughts. "Maybe we can start off slowly and work our way to a full relationship. I've gotten to know you again over these past few weeks, and I know it isn't perfect, but I'd like to think it's enough. It's enough to know that I could and do love you. I want to try this, and I want to make it work. I want to be the one you come home to at night-"
"Pansy…"
"Hear me out, Hermione," Pansy pleaded. "I want to be with you. I want you to let me love you. I want to have a second chance- the one you offered but I was too stupid to take. I know it won't be easy, and I know we'll have a lot of issues to overcome. I know that it will be a long time before you'll trust me again, and that is completely fair. Just- please don't shut me out. Please don't say no."
"But-"
"No," Pansy stopped her. "I need you, Hermione. I think you care about me too. I haven't ever stopped thinking about you. I don't think I could ever forget you. Even if you walk away from me now, I'll always hold out hope that we could be together. I've never wanted anyone but you. No one could ever measure up to half of what you mean to me. I- I-" Pansy was cut off by Hermione's hand on her shoulder.
"Pansy. Listen to me," she said. Pansy nodded.
"I- I haven't ever stopped thinking about you. It will take a long time before I feel like I can trust you again, but-"
With that, she tilted Pansy's chin up to lay a soft kiss on her lips. Tension flooded out of Pansy's body, and she returned the feather-light kisses.
"Hermione…"
Hermione shook her head and pulled Pansy into her embrace. Pansy kissed her neck, then her chin, and then her cheek. Hermione gasped, feeling insanely sensitive to each press of lips. She pulled Pansy's mouth back to her own and met it passionately. The kisses were no longer light but heavy and full of need. Hermione moaned when their tongues met. Pansy reached around Hermione's back, pulling her flush against her body. Every touch felt divine and both women were gasping and moaning at the small touches and kisses driving them to insanity. As Pansy's hand began to creep up her shirt, Hermione pushed back slightly.
"Pansy…" Hermione gasped.
"Hmm?" Pansy nuzzled her neck.
"Before I get too lost here, how about that dinner?"
"Okay." Pansy gave her one more passionate kiss, promising with her lips things that she could not formulate in words.
"Then again…" Hermione trailed off.
"No," Pansy said. "We're doing this the proper way. I know the perfect restaurant for dinner." With that, she turned and pulled a giggling Hermione out of the library by the hand.
Fin.